[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PM 2Ring » Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:00 pm UTC

Well done, Esperite & Wyvern! :) * big hugs all 'round *

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Osha » Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:10 pm UTC

Yes, quite well done indeed!

*dons monocle*
I award you each the purple sneaker of awesomeness for being super fine.
The highest award Oshatopia has to offer (as there are only two)
*removes monocle*

Good luck to both of you in your future endeavours :D

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Chai Kovsky » Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:21 pm UTC

Yay! Transitiony people are transitioning! :D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:42 pm UTC

yay!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Delalyra » Thu Jan 07, 2010 5:16 pm UTC

*throws confetti*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby GraphiteGirl » Thu Jan 07, 2010 5:37 pm UTC

*sounds celebratory gongs*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Thu Jan 07, 2010 5:55 pm UTC

me in an SB thread wrote:I just read this blog entry. It's in response to the comments created by this entry. For those who don't want to wade through the comments, another blog talked at length about the problem with the above blog entry here.

In summary (for those who don't want to read the links, and want to get on to the part about this being in SB and not NA), A radical feminist died recently. She did some good things for feminism, but also did some bad things (especially to trans women, and men). The original post eulogizes the woman, and generally is positive about her. A number of trans women thought this was wrong, because the woman was horribly transphobic, racist and had a number of other bad qualities. this lead to locking the thread, a small addendum, and then the non-apology today saying that she's sad that people attacked her for the article.


I want to know what people think about this. I'm kind of... I'm having trouble processing it properly. I'm annoyed that... well it feels like Melissa McEwan did what she criticizes other people of all the time. Giving non-apologies, and downplaying the pain others feel.

I'm not sure though. I do understand the feelings that the more radical members of the trans community are feeling. Is it right for them to call out Melissa for her actions? Or, should they give Melissa more grains of salt then she herself gives to others?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby acb » Thu Jan 07, 2010 6:05 pm UTC

Congrats Esperite and Wyvern, glad it all went well! :mrgreen:

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Esperite » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:14 am UTC

Right now I'm trying to find a good counselor. My mom asked her former therapist for a recommendation. The counselor who was recommended is good for my age group, but the counselor isn't a gender specialist and I don't know how much experience the counselor has with gender issues. My mom also heard of a gender clinic, so thats another possibility. Of course, we could always go online and try to find a counselor that way, but I don't know which to pick.
*I don't know the recommended counselor's experience, but it was a recommendation
*A gender clinic specializes in gender issues, but I've heard a couple bad things about going there under 18. (Mostly that they view themselves as gatekeepers, and are wary of helping a minor transition because of possible legal action if someone changes their mind)
*A counselor online my specialize in gender issues, but they wouldn't be recommended by anyone I have a link to.

If anyone has thoughts or suggestions, that would be great =).


Also, one thing I forgot to say earlier is that I also told my mom that I'm pretty sure I'm bi. I just forgot about it since that's not a big deal to me, but it's still good to be open with it =). Also, I recently found out someone at my school I know a little (who a group of my friends know) is bi, and it was nice seeing how they are all fine with it =). happy happy.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PM 2Ring » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:29 am UTC

Esperite wrote:The counselor who was recommended is good for my age group, but the counselor isn't a gender specialist and I don't know how much experience the counselor has with gender issues.
It's probably a good idea to find a counselor who specializes in gender issues. Working with a counselor who knows less about this stuff than you do can be a bit frustrating. But the main thing is to have a therapist that you feel comfortable with & who you can develop rapport with.

BTW, I didn't realize you were still a minor; so thanks for not PMing me. :)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Nordic Einar » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:23 pm UTC

I just recently took the first steps down the path of mental health by seeing a therapist for the first time ever to treat my bipolar disorder and psychological damage done by my shitty childhood. Upon learning about my pansexuality and long-term and committed polyamorous relationship I share w/ my lover, some gems from my "therapist";

"Wait, you have sex with other men? And you're OKAY with that!?!?!?!?1111oneone"

"So you have other male partners, and she has other female partners? Gets PRETTY BUSY AROUND THERE, EH? [/disapproving tone]"

"I know you've got a family history of bipolarity and have a diagnosis from your GP, but I don't think you're bipolar. I think your symptoms are stemming from the obvious confusion you have in regards to your sexuality."

Oh look! Time for a depressive cycle! Thanks therapist dude! <Sigh> There is a distinct lack of GLBT-Friendly therapists in Michigan, and none of them take my insurance :/

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby podbaydoor » Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:55 pm UTC

Oh...wow...um, aren't therapists supposed to TRY not to be assholes?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Chai Kovsky » Fri Jan 08, 2010 6:17 pm UTC

That's...so horrible. I'm close to saying that's a reportable offense--it's definitely a violation of the theraputic relationship, and I'm pretty sure there might be explicit APA guidelines and ethics code regulations that're being violated.

Find somebody else. Drop this guy like a hot potato. I'm sure someone else in the area takes your insurance, even if they don't have a "GLBT-friendly" sticker. Anyone has to be better than that asshole.

*Hugs* I'm so sorry that happened.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby esmooths » Fri Jan 08, 2010 6:30 pm UTC

Jessica wrote:...

I want to know what people think about this. I'm kind of... I'm having trouble processing it properly. I'm annoyed that... well it feels like Melissa McEwan did what she criticizes other people of all the time. Giving non-apologies, and downplaying the pain others feel.

I'm not sure though. I do understand the feelings that the more radical members of the trans community are feeling. Is it right for them to call out Melissa for her actions? Or, should they give Melissa more grains of salt then she herself gives to others?


To be upfront, I have a personal bias in favor of Melissa and Shakesville. I like the blog very much, and largely feel it does good at what she has set out to do with it.

I do understand the anger and disappointment of the trans community, and believe it is right, and important, that she be called out for her failures here, both in posting a seemingly supportive obit of Daly, and her subsequent lukewarm at best admission of privileged behavior.

On the other hand, I do think she should be given the benefit of the doubt to a degree. From what I've seen, she is generally responsive when called out on privilege, changing posts, adding trigger warnings, etc. so to go as far as to say that she's an "enemy of trans women" seems a bit extreme, but that's from my point of view only. She's human, and fallible. I think she, and the mods, could have handled the situation much better though.

Also, your SB thread touches on the problem somewhat. Because the communication is asynchronous, complaints and concerns don't always get an immediate response. And she had already said she's taking the rest of the week off, so any response wouldn't come until Monday anyways. In the meantime, people draw sides and entrench, as you said. Now, on Monday, she could very well put up a post apologizing, owning up to her privilege, and acknowledging where she went wrong. She could also ignore it all, or explicitly defend herself. I don't feel the "Community Note" should be the endpoint. While it is defensive, she's clear that she is upset about being accused of acting in bad faith, which did happen. I didn't seem like it was intended to be her final answer on the matter.

So, personally, I'm willing to wait and see. Of course, I also am cisgendered and have the privilege of not being under attack by Daly's bigotry. I wouldn't try to dictate how others should feel about Melissa, but I do think attacking her directly is going too far. Given her entire history, this seems to be a genuine mistake, rather than an indication of some larger trans hate, and that's how I'm taking it.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Fri Jan 08, 2010 7:21 pm UTC

Makes sense.

I don't take these things as malicious. I also understand that someone who has privilege can't always be mindful of other people who don't. I hope that a better apology is coming, because the current posts aren't very sensitive to the actual issues involved. Really, I'm waiting for the good apology. Mainly because I find that she always harps on other people for not taking responsibility for their actions, and giving non-apologies like "I'm sorry you feel that way".

If that doesn't come, then I'll be more angry. Mistakes happen, but owning up to those mistakes is what makes you a good ally.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Delalyra » Fri Jan 08, 2010 9:34 pm UTC

I'll concur with: Liss isn't malicious, but woah that was a non-apology. Pretty annoying, since she ought to know what a good apology looks like. :\
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby videogamesizzle » Sat Jan 09, 2010 4:08 am UTC

So I may come out to a friend over the weekend...

Spoiler:
For school, we have to write a giant 1000-point paper on one word, examining all the philosophical angles and anything else we can say about it (I chose "truth," for example, and I'm looking at the general question of "What is truth?" and examining where truth comes from). Friend chose the word "love" and is having people fill out surveys in a sort of interview session to collect a wide sample of how people feel about love. He also claims that he is the ONLY person who will see these answers, and that all response will be destroyed after he has what he needs.

He's collecting a bit of personal information at the start of the survey, including the basics like age, gender, race, religion, etc. The thing is, he's also looking for sexual orientation, which makes sense to examine how that may or may not affect one's opinion on love. I've known Friend since 4th grade, and I'm almost certain that he would keep it secret and not hate me for it. I just hate hiding so much of who I am from everybody in my life, that I want to take the first steps towards being at least semi-out.

Friend said that he'd email the questions to me at some point, hopefully this weekend. *shudder* It's nerve-wracking to even think about it. I hope it all goes well...
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Sourire » Sat Jan 09, 2010 6:25 am UTC

I like the idea of using this as an opportunity to have the discussion with Friend, especially because you may feel like you're hiding something (or perhaps even lying) if you don't. But I'm not sure if I'd recommend you tell Friend directly, or as a submission in the survey. I feel like I may slightly taken aback if that was how I were to "find out" something about someone I felt close to. I feel like using it as a conversation starter "Well, I've actually been meaning to tell you..." or something to that effect.*

*Please take said advice with a large quantity of salt. This is a very personal business.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby videogamesizzle » Sat Jan 09, 2010 6:44 am UTC

That's actually sort of what I was planning on doing, just filling in with some answer that will lead to the conversation. I just figure that as long as I have this opportunity, I should do something with it.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Sat Jan 09, 2010 6:53 am UTC

Name: Videogamesizzle
Occupation: Student
Sexual orientation: Y'know we should talk about this...

:) Good luck, dude.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Delalyra » Sat Jan 09, 2010 1:00 pm UTC

*grumbles about how every anonymous survey should be properly anonymous* Good luck, though, Sizzle!

Being back in the world of singledom, I've been distracting myself with okcupid, and I'm pretty sure I know why more bisexual/queer/pan women date men than other women: more men hit on you. At least in my experience.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby videogamesizzle » Sat Jan 09, 2010 6:15 pm UTC

Thanks! I keep compulsively checking my email now, both hoping the questions will be there and dreading their arrival...

While the questions aren't fully anonymous, I think he just needs names for bookkeeping reasons, so he can properly cite the sources. He has some way to make sure that no answers could be tied back to whoever gave them. He's a pretty trustworthy person, too, and I know him well enough that he wouldn't go back on this promise. Well, I hope he wouldn't.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Nordic Einar » Sat Jan 09, 2010 6:59 pm UTC

OKCupid is a fantastic site, though I wonder if perhaps you're simply in a poor area; my beloved dyke has had great success finding female company there. Perhaps you should try making first contact yourself? I dunno.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Shivahn » Sat Jan 09, 2010 8:23 pm UTC

Gahgahgahgahgah.

I think I've regressed in my thoughts. I'm questioning everything again. Whether it's real or not. I haven't had as many gender related problems in the last few months, so now that I'm having a bit of one all I can think is "it's not real, you're faking it. You didn't feel off for a long while, so this isn't real now." I'm wondering if maybe I am just attracted to the idea of having a female body for sex sometimes.

Which is stupid, I wanted lady bits since before I knew what they were for or looked like. I dreamt of it as a child.

But now it's cropping up in my sexual thoughts, and I wonder if maybe I'm just some poseur, some autogynephile who thinks he's transgendered.

He? She? It?

I don't even know anymore.



Why do I have to live with this?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wyvern » Sat Jan 09, 2010 10:29 pm UTC

*hugs*

I hate it when stuff gets so confusing. Recently I've had to deal with an internal conflict of being trans combined with the realization that I'm predominately attracted to transpeople, transwomen especially. Yet I am one. It's a tad confusing. Every once in awhile I have to convince myself that I'm not just doing this so that I can be what I find most attractive.

Also, I got my ears done, and I have a picture that I don't feel horrible about, so I posted it in the facerity thread. It's not how I want to look, but It's a step in the right direction!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby doogly » Sat Jan 09, 2010 10:40 pm UTC

Wyvern wrote:I hate it when stuff gets so confusing. Recently I've had to deal with an internal conflict of being trans combined with the realization that I'm predominately attracted to transpeople, transwomen especially. Yet I am one. It's a tad confusing. Every once in awhile I have to convince myself that I'm not just doing this so that I can be what I find most attractive.

Why would that be a problem if it were true?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wyvern » Sat Jan 09, 2010 11:19 pm UTC

doogly wrote:
Wyvern wrote:I hate it when stuff gets so confusing. Recently I've had to deal with an internal conflict of being trans combined with the realization that I'm predominately attracted to transpeople, transwomen especially. Yet I am one. It's a tad confusing. Every once in awhile I have to convince myself that I'm not just doing this so that I can be what I find most attractive.

Why would that be a problem if it were true?


Cause It's not the reason that I originally decided to transition. That's one of those thoughts that birth the "you're just a perverted freak" lines of thinking. Which completely aren't true and I hate whenever they pop up.


but... on the other hand , it can't hurt to have more reasons! :mrgreen:

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Josephine » Sun Jan 10, 2010 11:57 pm UTC

I've been getting stronger thoughts about trans stuff lately. I, along with others, am getting the "perverted freak" thing. I'm actually really comforted by how common it is. Do any fully/irreversibly/etcetera transitioned people have any thoughts on the matter?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Lumpy » Mon Jan 11, 2010 1:08 am UTC

I began DIY male-to-female hormone therapy with estradiol starting on October 2, 2009. I took a single estradiol pill a day, having been on up to 100mg Spironolactone half a month before that. Incrementally, I adjusted my dose to 6mg estradiol and 200mg spironolactone over the next months. I'm using my college Pell grant to finance transition, and I'm using this semester's grant to start laser therapy late this month. One thing about DIYing--it involves a lot of research. Here's a link dump of M2F hormone help sites:



I'm reading this thread from the last few pages and the first few pages, working toward the middle, if that's okay before posting here.

Osha, way back on Apr. 26, 2009 wrote:Sexuality wise, It was just as hard starting to think of myself as a lesbian when it up and changed on hormones to probably straight, maybe bi, and very confused.


This was definitely true for me. I was bi and started leaning a lot straighter after a while of HRT. This site (NSFW) claims that hormone therapy has a greater chance of influencing sexuality the younger the person undergoing it is.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Osha » Mon Jan 11, 2010 1:20 am UTC

Thoughts on the matter:
Spoiler:
Trans people aren't freaks.
Perverted (usually, and in this case) has a negative connotation that implies you do stuff such as ogle/harrass/etc. people.
If you don't go around doing pervy stuff now, there's no reason to think you'd go around doing pervy stuff after transitioning.
The idea of trans women as perverted freaks who just want access to womens restrooms / bodies for their own nefarious purposes was an idea cooked up by our patriarchal society and some big name feminists from back in the day.

You may have heard of autogynephilia, the idea that some trans women weren't "true" trans woman and were just turned on by the idea of having boobs, etc.
The people who expouse this theory are of the opinion that trans women should not have *any* sexual fantasies involving seeing themselves as women.
They used this idea to separate "fake" transsexuals, from "real" transsexuals.
But! They were so blinded by their predjudice they never thought to even ever try this autogynephilia test on cis women, which according to this study (I encourage you to read it, it's pretty good despite a bunch of problematic language), many cis women would have been found to be autogynephiliac and thus not "real" women by their own test (at least that's the way I read it).

The point is, society has their magnifying glass of distain focused right on us. The smallest thought or impulse is called into question, as if if we don't dress feminine enough then we're not women, as if we find women attract then we're not women, as if we have the smallest sexual thought about being a woman then we're not women. While cis people get a free pass from all the doubt. Also notice that lots of this is talking about trans women are perverts whereas they tend to not say as many similar things about trans men.
We of course grow up in this society internalize this perspective and learn to doubt ourselves at every corner. And suspect ourselves of being perverted freaks who want to transition for creepy reasons because that's what society suspects us to be.
And I'm not saying to jump into stuff, good heavens no, transistion is scary and really hard, and leads to many tears; but for me anyway, is also pretty frabbin' amazing.

but! there's no harm in letting yourself explore, no harm in opening up (well, besides douchebags giving you shit or disowning you or killing you or...), and it's also never too late to change your mind.
Final words: I had lots of these worries before transitioning (and still do to an extent), but I realized I could question if I was autogynephiliac 'till the end of time, but that that was ultimately pointless and I was gonna try the transistion thing and see if it made me happy, and I would do it for myself and not anyone else and it didn't matter what they thought. And as time has gone by I've been less and less concerned about that. And I am happy, and now realize lots of those doubts came from a transphobic society telling me about myself.

(my god, my posts get longer and more rambly over time >.<)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Mon Jan 11, 2010 2:52 am UTC

And that's what she said.

>.>

<.<

I mean... Osha is pretty awesome, listen to her. Hell, I felt this stuff yesterday when thinking about my upcoming top operation. It's hard to not have internalized homophobia.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Chai Kovsky » Mon Jan 11, 2010 2:53 am UTC

As a slightly shorter reply, I reacted most, Osha, to your assertion that transmen aren't held to the absurd standard of femininity/masculinity that transwomen are as a sign of their invisibility in our culture. I feel like there's a lot more awareness of transwomen, and a lot of that is negative, but the price transmen pay for that lack of ridicule is a lack of knowledge of their existence. Even FtM SRS is grossly primative compared to the surgical techniques available for women transitioning.

I'm trying to say this because I don't really understand what motivated your, admittedly off-the-cuff, remark about transmen. Is it that you see transmen as acquiring male privilege and thus subject to less scrutiny?

Unrelated note: what do you say if you're more than bisexual but less than pansexual? What if you're into female-bodied genderqueer people, but not male-bodied? There are a lot of orientations and preferences without convenient names, and I wouldn't be comfortable defining my orientation by exclusion ("I'm into female bodied people, but not MtF who haven't had surgery..." that sounds so awful!).

Edit: l33t post! And what a perfect topic to have it in!
Spoiler:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby TheGrammarBolshevik » Mon Jan 11, 2010 3:01 am UTC

Chai Kovsky wrote:I'm trying to say this because I don't really understand what motivated your, admittedly off-the-cuff, remark about transmen. Is it that you see transmen as acquiring male privilege and thus subject to less scrutiny?

I don't see that remark anywhere. Am I missing it?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Josephine » Mon Jan 11, 2010 3:08 am UTC

Chai Kovsky wrote:I'm trying to say this because I don't really understand what motivated your, admittedly off-the-cuff, remark about transmen. Is it that you see transmen as acquiring male privilege and thus subject to less scrutiny?


I would think it's more about the female privilege. Genetic males are more often thought about as being highly sexual. Females are often thought about with more (for lack of a better word) innocence. It means that people are more likely to jump to the conclusion of autogynophilia than autoandrophilia (in the respective genders (yes, I just made up autoandrophilia (aren't Greek/Latin roots great?)))
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Osha » Mon Jan 11, 2010 3:12 am UTC

Chai Kovsky wrote:As a slightly shorter reply, I reacted most, Osha, to your assertion that transmen aren't held to the absurd standard of femininity/masculinity that transwomen are as a sign of their invisibility in our culture. I feel like there's a lot more awareness of transwomen, and a lot of that is negative, but the price transmen pay for that lack of ridicule is a lack of knowledge of their existence. Even FtM SRS is grossly primative compared to the surgical techniques available for women transitioning.

I'm trying to say this because I don't really understand what motivated your, admittedly off-the-cuff, remark about transmen. Is it that you see transmen as acquiring male privilege and thus subject to less scrutiny?


I apologize, I didn't mean to say that trans guys had less crap to deal with and have seen this invisibilazation in action (having done a bit myself just there, wheee <.<)
My post veered off into talk about autogynephilia, and it is true that trans women get the brunt of publicity, both positive and negative, especially when it comes to the "perverted freak" angle. And it was from my perspective as a trans woman. But you're right that I should have written about how trans men fit into all this (and don't get me wrong! Society ain't at all nice to them either!)

Unrelated note: what do you say if you're more than bisexual but less than pansexual? What if you're into female-bodied genderqueer people, but not male-bodied? There are a lot of orientations and preferences without convenient names, and I wouldn't be comfortable defining my orientation by exclusion ("I'm into female bodied people, but not MtF who haven't had surgery..." that sounds so awful!).

Edit: l33t post! And what a perfect topic to have it in!


hmm, I dunno, but I call myself bi and am mainly just attracted to people in general. Because I like the sound of the word

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Mon Jan 11, 2010 3:16 am UTC

My impression was that society is less freaked out by "women becoming men" than they are by "men becoming women". After all, it's understandable that a lower caste would want to become a member of a higher caste, or some crappy thing like that. (There is a LOT of shitty pressure on men to keep up appearances, much like there's shitty pressure on the middle class to avoid being perceived as working class*. I suspect the psychological roots are similar, but it's a half-formed idea.)

Transmen are less common than transwomen, which could explain part of the disparity in surgical knowledge. (Kidney transplants are generally the most successful transplant operations because they're performed most often.) There could be social factors as well, though I feel unqualified to guess at them.

* What's the phrase for those committees for defining respectability in gated communities...?
Edit: ah, HOAs. Right, thanks crickets. I *knew* that HMO just wasn't right...
Last edited by poxic on Mon Jan 11, 2010 3:42 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby crickets » Mon Jan 11, 2010 3:38 am UTC

poxic wrote:
* What's the phrase for those committees for defining respectability in gated communities...?


Homeowners associations. As in: http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/2009/08/03/devil-worship-and-christmas-lights/

On an unrelated topic:
Spoiler:
This is harder than i ever really anticipated. Seriously. I can't even verbalize it, because i'm not "supposed" to. I sometimes feel like i'm the only person i've ever met who has /dated/ a trans person. Cause i am just... totally lost. I mean, the lesbians i know make scoff faces at me whenever i admit i'm not even totally gay, the straight people i know are politely but obviously kind of puzzled by the whole thing.... And yet i'm not allowed to say anything ever because i supposedly have it easy. Extreme frustration. I want to talk to someone who will have even the vaguest understanding of some of the very specific problems i'm having, but i don't know anyone. Yes, i know a handful of trans people, but they can't really give me any more insight than my girlfriend can. I feel totally invisible.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PM 2Ring » Mon Jan 11, 2010 5:36 am UTC

I think that it's generally easier for transmen to wear what they want without causing a fuss*, but it seems that they often have a hard time getting people to take them seriously, and not as "merely" overgrown tom-boys. Even getting their friends & associates to use male pronouns is a constant battle.

[*] But not always.

As to the issue of autogynephilia, my theory is that if someone really just wanted to transition so they can play with their own girly bits, the novelty would wear off pretty quickly, and they may not be such a great candidate for transition. However, I suspect that such individuals are far & few between, and most who have such inclinations are probably content to cross-dress from time to time & use their imagination. :)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Shivahn » Mon Jan 11, 2010 6:17 am UTC

Thanks, Osha.

And everyone else. I'm just sort of in a funky state right now.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Delalyra » Mon Jan 11, 2010 1:11 pm UTC

PM 2Ring wrote:transmen
Just nitpicking here-- it's preferred to be spelled "trans men" (and likewise, "trans women,") with a space, so that trans is an adjective. The idea is that "transmen" puts men who happen to be trans into their own othersome gender category, when they're really just men, full stop.
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