[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

User avatar
Ulc
Posts: 1301
Joined: Sun Jun 21, 2009 8:05 pm UTC
Location: Copenhagen university

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Ulc » Fri Dec 02, 2011 12:28 am UTC

Monika wrote:my friend Catherine likes the pony, too:
Spoiler:
Image


Monika, it is a very nice pony. But that cat doesn't look like it likes the pony.. it's expression is more along the lines of "look what my owner has placed me with! Right, I know? Fucking humans, how do they work? But don't worry, tonight it's time for bloooood"

But then, most cat facial expressions get interpreted like that by me.
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it - Aristotle

A White Russian, shades and a bathrobe, what more can you want from life?

User avatar
PM 2Ring
Posts: 3700
Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2009 3:19 pm UTC
Location: Sydney, Australia

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PM 2Ring » Fri Dec 02, 2011 7:17 am UTC

That clock is extremely awesome, Monika.

User avatar
matilda
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2011 5:54 pm UTC

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby matilda » Sat Dec 03, 2011 3:22 am UTC

hi. I'm new here. :) I'm 15, and only really out as being not-straight on the internet. But thank you for making this thread, it's just so amazing to see non-straight people having lives and love and everything.

User avatar
sambot5
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 12:38 am UTC
Location: Somewhere...

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby sambot5 » Sun Dec 04, 2011 12:23 am UTC

[deleted for IRL safety reasons]
Last edited by sambot5 on Sat May 04, 2013 4:17 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Kewangji
Has Been Touched
Posts: 2253
Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2007 5:20 pm UTC
Location: Lost in Translation
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Kewangji » Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:43 am UTC

Welcome, matilda.

sambot5: have you considered that you might be bi/pansexual? I'm afraid I don't have advice, but that might be something to ponder.
If you like my words sign up for my newsletter, Airport Tattoo Parlour: https://tinyletter.com/distantstations

The Great Hippo wrote:Nuclear bombs are like potato chips, you can't stop after just *one*

User avatar
poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
Posts: 4749
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:28 am UTC
Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:53 am UTC

Hello matilda. Welcome to the thread!

sambot5, welcome to the thread. And, incidentally, to some of the more perplexing parts of being a human-that-doesn't-fit-in-a-box. :wink: There are tons of answers out there, most of them wrong for you (or any other particular person). Some of them might be right-for-you. Or hey, you might find a totally new answer for yourself, just by being open to your own thoughts and feelings and options.

Some say that life gets difficult when the path is muddy. Some say that that's where the fun starts. I like the second sentiment, but it scares my knickers off, most days.
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
- Albert Schweitzer, philosopher, physician, musician, Nobel laureate (14 Jan 1875-1965)

User avatar
joshz
Posts: 1466
Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2008 2:51 am UTC
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby joshz » Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:59 am UTC

sambot5: What kewa said, also: Sexuality can be fluid and hard to pin down with a label.

As for the math/CS thing, I'm pan and at CMU for CS. There are a lot of LGBTIQQA people here (in CS), and it's really accepting.

For example, I have a boyfriend now (^_^) and I've gotten no negative reactions about it. In fact, all the reactions I have gotten were that we're adorable. It's awesome here. ^_^
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
suffer-cait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky.

User avatar
sambot5
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 12:38 am UTC
Location: Somewhere...

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby sambot5 » Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:47 am UTC

Thank you all for the input. It's nice to have a community of smart, witty, xkcd-fans who are LGBTQQAI-supportive. :D

joshz: CMU is one of the schools I'm applying to! I'm glad to hear that CS department (what I would likely major in) is an accepting environment.
"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma." -Patrick Star

User avatar
joshz
Posts: 1466
Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2008 2:51 am UTC
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby joshz » Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:05 am UTC

:D Awesome! I hope you end up coming here!

Are you planning on coming to any sleeping bag weekends?
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
suffer-cait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky.

User avatar
Aaeriele
Posts: 2127
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 3:30 am UTC
Location: San Francisco, CA

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Sun Dec 04, 2011 6:28 am UTC

yay, welcome to you both matilda and sambot5!
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

User avatar
animeHrmIne
Posts: 509
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:33 pm UTC
Location: Missouri, USA, Sol III

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby animeHrmIne » Sun Dec 04, 2011 8:17 am UTC

Sambot5, I think you're describing your sexuality like I would describe mine, though I play it the opposite way in public (I tend to act hypersexual). I identify as pansexual, which basically means that some weeks I'm more attracted to female-presenting people, and some weeks I'm attracted to male-presenting people, and some weeks I'm attracted to all presentations, and some weeks I'm not sexually attracted to anyone at all.

Really, like others have said, sexuality can be a fluid thing. It doesn't exist in a gay/straight dichotomy. From what you're describing, it sounds like you might be bisexual, if only slightly one way or the other.

Also, the prom thing is freaking me out too, though I've given up on finding a girl to ask between now and then. I'm more worried because I plan on asking one of two guy friends (which one, I don't know), which could be awkward just because most guys aren't used to girls asking them out.
I wanted to see the universe, so I stole a Time Lord and ran away. And you were the only one mad enough.
Biting's excellent! It's like kissing, only there's a winner.
-Sexy

User avatar
Monika
Welcoming Aarvark
Posts: 3671
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC
Location: Germany, near Heidelberg
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:23 am UTC

Sambot5, you could also go to the prom alone. A lot of people did that at my US high school. Me, too. I had asked one of the male exchange students. We were not together or anything, it would just have given him the chance to go because I was a senior and he a junior. But he felt proms are a waste of money - and he would have just had to rent a tuxedo, not buy a dress like me. :P
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel
Please donate to help these people

User avatar
felltir
has a sniper scope and a trigger finger.
Posts: 2493
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 5:01 pm UTC
Location: Back in't home town. Never at home.
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby felltir » Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:43 am UTC

Just an update from me: I've found another girl I like! Also, she wants to sleep with me! These are good things.
Spoiler:
RoadieRich wrote:He's a super flexible furry martial artist from London. She is a Rabbit breeding mad scientist from Michigan. They fight crime!
The Great Hippo wrote:I THINK THE SOLAR SYSTEM MIGHT BE AN ATOM OF OXYGEN.


Blog

he/him/his

User avatar
Aaeriele
Posts: 2127
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 3:30 am UTC
Location: San Francisco, CA

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:44 am UTC

felltir wrote:Just an update from me: I've found another girl I like! Also, she wants to sleep with me! These are good things.


yay!
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

User avatar
sambot5
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 12:38 am UTC
Location: Somewhere...

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby sambot5 » Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:49 pm UTC

[deleted for IRL safety reasons]
Last edited by sambot5 on Sat May 04, 2013 4:18 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma." -Patrick Star

User avatar
joshz
Posts: 1466
Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2008 2:51 am UTC
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby joshz » Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:04 pm UTC

sambot5 wrote:joshz: Unfortunately, I'm really busy and don't think I'll be able to attend a sleeping bag weekend. However, I did visit the campus during my spring break last year and I really enjoyed it. I especially liked the new CS building with it's large spiral walkway in the center.
Aww, that's a shame. That was part of what sold me on coming here. If you can squeeze out the time, I'd really recommend it. I might even be able to host you!

Hehehehe, oh, the helix. Yeah, that's cool the first time you go down it but totally impractical for actual use. :P

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about CMU. I'd love to help! :)
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
suffer-cait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky.

User avatar
Vaniver
Posts: 9422
Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:12 am UTC

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Vaniver » Sun Dec 04, 2011 11:55 pm UTC

sambot5 wrote:(it’s not like I could just say “hey man, I might like dudes, but I don’t know for sure.”).
Why not?

sambot5 wrote:My parents aren’t really encouraging of being gay, and after my brother came out, they’re “depending” on me to get married and have children (whether I end up marrying a man or a woman, I still want to have children).
It sounds like you and they agree on the grandkids issue; leading off with that if/when you need to update them on your sexuality should help things go more smoothly.

sambot5 wrote:and the only person I’d secretly want to ask is the guy I have a crush on (but that would never happen, besides, I don’t even know if he’s into guys).
You only go through high school once. What memories do you want to look back on?
I mostly post over at LessWrong now.

Avatar from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, owned by Hasbro.

User avatar
dragon
"Can I have a Mountain Dew?!"
Posts: 319
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 12:18 am UTC
Location: the darkness

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby dragon » Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:21 am UTC

I'm a bit concerned that if this is your first exposure to the concept of pansexual orientation, you may well be reading animeHrmIne's post as an explanation of the term, rather than as a description of her sexuality in particular.

The biggest thing is that pansexuality is a rejection of strictly targeted attraction towards Male and Female. There are many people who do not fall into such narrow binary gender boxes. The term pansexual (as opposed to bisexual) is deliberately inclusive of genderqueer people.

My apologies if this is already something you are quite aware of. I'm worried that if you are someone who is discomforted by non-binary gender, taking the label pansexual could cause hurt to you or others in future.

Wikipedia wrote:The concept of pansexuality deliberately rejects the gender binary, the "notion of two genders and indeed of specific sexual orientations", as pansexual people are open to relationships with people who do not identify as strictly men or women. Pansexuality can also mean the attraction to a person's personality, rather than their physical appearance or gender.
Context? What context?
Sandry wrote:I'm kind of feeling like it'd be a good idea to somehow position a vibrator for hands-free use, then you can legitimately DDR with your feet while knitting and it all works.

User avatar
RollingHead
Posts: 341
Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 3:47 pm UTC
Location: Italy

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby RollingHead » Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:47 am UTC

I just spent the evening arguing with a friend who insists that a woman who sleeps with a woman is still a virgin because she didn't sleep with a man... and I wanted to go to bed early (in my time zone it's nearly two in the morning)... Sorry about the rant, I'm just upset about it. :(

User avatar
sambot5
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 12:38 am UTC
Location: Somewhere...

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby sambot5 » Mon Dec 05, 2011 1:23 am UTC

[deleted for IRL safety reasons]
Last edited by sambot5 on Sat May 04, 2013 4:19 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma." -Patrick Star

User avatar
joshz
Posts: 1466
Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2008 2:51 am UTC
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby joshz » Mon Dec 05, 2011 1:39 am UTC

sambot5 wrote:It's like, I don't feel 'gay' enough that another guy would ever want to date me, and I don't feel 'straight' enough that another girl would want to date me. I just feel lonely and that there's no one to talk about it amongst my friends and family
That really doesn't matter. I'm pan, and currently have a boyfriend and have had a girlfriend. They quite likely won't care at all.

sambot5 wrote:I like watching those "it gets better" videos because they make me feel better, but I never feel like I'm their target audience because they almost all start with someone saying "I new I was gay/lesbian/homosexual since I was age [a very young age]..." I wasn't like that at all! I just started noticing my attraction towards the same gender during my sophomore year, and it wasn't until midway through last year that I actually acknowledged those feelings to myself. I've been super lucky to not have been harassed or bullied in school, and I feel so bad for the kids who are. Instead, I just wage this silent war with myself that I don't tell anyone about. I don't feel like I've experienced the adversity that others struggling with their sexuality have, I just feel sad and lonely.
This seems very similar to my experience. The earliest I could possibly trace my attraction to men to is 8th grade, but that's a stretch. I didn't acknowledge the feelings until probably the summer before my senior year. I fought them before then in increasingly ridiculous ways, trying to convince myself that I actually was straight. It did more harm than good for me.

I wasn't harassed or bullied about my sexuality to any degree that I can remember now, but still feel somewhat paranoid that someone will do so, and so am still unduly nervous about coming out to people.

But I can promise you that it does get better. It gets so much fucking better. I'm in a community now that doesn't bat an eyelash at two men cuddling in a public compter cluster (beyond saying that we're adorable, or one of *those* couples [which admittedly we kind of are <_< >_>]), and feel truly accepted and wonderful. It's an amazing feeling, and it's so much better than high school.
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
suffer-cait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky.

User avatar
Cathy
Posts: 850
Joined: Sun Dec 27, 2009 5:31 am UTC
Location: TX, USA

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Cathy » Mon Dec 05, 2011 1:46 am UTC

sambot5 wrote:I like watching those "it gets better" videos because they make me feel better, but I never feel like I'm their target audience because they almost all start with someone saying "I new I was gay/lesbian/homosexual since I was age [a very young age]..." I wasn't like that at all! I just started noticing my attraction towards the same gender during my sophomore year, and it wasn't until midway through last year that I actually acknowledged those feelings to myself.

I never felt that way myself either - I didn't look like anything but the average kid until about 11 and then hormones popped up and I started liking both genders. I personally feel that a lot of that is personal hindsight bias. But then, I might be biased too!

I don't think it matters when you realized it - how many people worry about consciously realizing that they're straight? I don't think it's something to worry over.

And this.
joshz wrote:But I can promise you that it does get better. It gets so much fucking better.


Oh, edited to add that when I came out as bisexual at 13, freshman year in high school, I dated a girl for 2 years, a guy for 2 years, and another girl for two years. The people who rejected me for dating someone of the same sex either got over it or moved out of my personal sphere. It happens, and you can lose people you didn't think you'd lose, but the people who stick with you are all the stronger friends for it.
Amie wrote:Cathy, I now declare you to be an awesome person, by the powers vested in me by nobody, really.
yurell wrote:We need fewer homoeopaths, that way they'll be more potent!

User avatar
sambot5
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 12:38 am UTC
Location: Somewhere...

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby sambot5 » Mon Dec 05, 2011 1:48 am UTC

joshz wrote:I wasn't harassed or bullied about my sexuality to any degree that I can remember now, but still feel somewhat paranoid that someone will do so, and so am still unduly nervous about coming out to people.

Me too!

joshz wrote:But I can promise you that it does get better. It gets so much fucking better. I'm in a community now that doesn't bat an eyelash at two men cuddling in a public computer cluster (beyond saying that we're adorable, or one of *those* couples [which admittedly we kind of are <_< >_>]), and feel truly accepted and wonderful. It's an amazing feeling, and it's so much better than high school.

This makes me feel better :D
"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma." -Patrick Star

User avatar
joshz
Posts: 1466
Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2008 2:51 am UTC
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby joshz » Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:08 am UTC

sambot5 wrote:
joshz wrote:But I can promise you that it does get better. It gets so much fucking better. I'm in a community now that doesn't bat an eyelash at two men cuddling in a public computer cluster (beyond saying that we're adorable, or one of *those* couples [which admittedly we kind of are <_< >_>]), and feel truly accepted and wonderful. It's an amazing feeling, and it's so much better than high school.
This makes me feel better :D
I'm glad! :)

Also, feel free to PM or ask in here if you have any questions about CMU or sexuality/related things. :)
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
suffer-cait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky.

User avatar
sambot5
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 12:38 am UTC
Location: Somewhere...

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby sambot5 » Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:06 am UTC

Thank you all for replying and helping me feel better! :D

In less angsty news, I found the following Seinfeld montage hilarious (it's from the "Not that there is anything wrong with that" episode):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZPcGapl2dM
"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma." -Patrick Star

User avatar
Vaniver
Posts: 9422
Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:12 am UTC

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Vaniver » Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:23 am UTC

sambot5 wrote:I probably should talk to my friends about my sexuality, but I've always had problems with self-confidence and I'm worried that it would make for an awkward conversation. Also, I don't really talk about personal stuff to them that often, so I don't know how to bring up the topic.
"Hey, can we talk about something personal? It'll probably be really awkward. Saying no is okay." [It helps to mean the last part.]

sambot5 wrote:I don't know how to explain it to them. Also, what if this is just a phase and I turn out to be totally gay or totally straight? It's like, I don't feel 'gay' enough that another guy would ever want to date me, and I don't feel 'straight' enough that another girl would want to date me. I just feel lonely and that there's no one to talk about it amongst my friends and family.
"I'm attracted to both guys and girls now. I'm not sure if it'll settle one way or the other or if I'll stay flexible." [You may find a word besides 'flexible' to be more appropriate.]

Sexuality doesn't have to be part of your identity; it's not a major in college that you have to officially choose and then put in a form to change. If you're unsure about it, you're unsure about it, and you might as well present yourself that way.

As for what guys and girls are into- I think you'd be surprised at the variety of desires. I also expect that every gay guy has a story about the straight guy(s) he crushed on: you hardly have to be gay to receive male interest.

sambot5 wrote:I like watching those "it gets better" videos because they make me feel better, but I never feel like I'm their target audience
Emphasis mine. It's for you.

sambot5 wrote:Instead, I just wage this silent war with myself that I don't tell anyone about. I don't feel like I've experienced the adversity that others struggling with their sexuality have, I just feel sad and lonely.
Why compare adversity? Focus on your sadness and loneliness as what they are, not what they are in relation to others.
I mostly post over at LessWrong now.

Avatar from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, owned by Hasbro.

User avatar
Aaeriele
Posts: 2127
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 3:30 am UTC
Location: San Francisco, CA

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Mon Dec 05, 2011 8:57 am UTC

RollingHead wrote:I just spent the evening arguing with a friend who insists that a woman who sleeps with a woman is still a virgin because she didn't sleep with a man... and I wanted to go to bed early (in my time zone it's nearly two in the morning)... Sorry about the rant, I'm just upset about it. :(


*hug* Sorry you had to deal with that.
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

User avatar
Brace
Posts: 1169
Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:40 am UTC
Location: Denver, Co
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Mon Dec 05, 2011 1:55 pm UTC

They're liable to happen relatively quickly. It's really more a matter of if/when you notice them. For me it took almost a year before I could look at myself and note any kind of change (although that might of just been the fact I was on a completely insufficient dose for almost a year and a half-insufficient dose for half a year after... =/). Emotional changes are weird. It probably helps to have a background in philosophy when dealing with them. I have to say my personality has remained p much exactly the same though, which might be unfortunate depending on your perspective.
"The future is the only kind of property that the masters willingly concede to the slaves" - Albert Camus

User avatar
Josephine
Posts: 2142
Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2009 5:53 am UTC

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Josephine » Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:17 pm UTC

I noticed it within a day. If your dosage is right, and you're not in a work-up period, you'll probably know.
Belial wrote:Listen, what I'm saying is that he committed a felony with a zoo animal.

User avatar
Monika
Welcoming Aarvark
Posts: 3671
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC
Location: Germany, near Heidelberg
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Mon Dec 05, 2011 6:51 pm UTC

sambot5 wrote:I like watching those "it gets better" videos because they make me feel better, but I never feel like I'm their target audience because they almost all start with someone saying "I new I was gay/lesbian/homosexual since I was age [a very young age]..." I wasn't like that at all! I just started noticing my attraction towards the same gender during my sophomore year, and it wasn't until midway through last year that I actually acknowledged those feelings to myself.

I have not seen any of those videos. How young do the people say they were? It would be strange if it were before entering puberty. And even knowing right from the onset of puberty would be rare.

I don't remember exactly when I noticed that I am apparently most likely not straight. I think I was 17. Acknowledge the feelings and act on them? 30. With the help of some friends 8) .

In terms of telling my parents, I'm not looking forward to it at all. To them, people are either gay or straight, and considering the fact that I don't really fit into either category, I don't know how to explain it to them.

Tell them that you are bisexual. That's what I tell hetero people, even though "somewhere between pan- and asexual" would be more correct. I don't want to confuse them with details :wink: .

Also, what if this is just a phase and I turn out to be totally gay or totally straight? It's like, I don't feel 'gay' enough that another guy would ever want to date me, and I don't feel 'straight' enough that another girl would want to date me.

You could date other bi people.
But most gay guys and straight girls probably don't care too much. If you happen to meet one who refuses to date bi, pan, queer, fluid people - oh well, that's not nice, but find someone else who is not so restricted.

I just feel lonely and that there's no one to talk about it amongst my friends and family.

*hugs*
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel
Please donate to help these people

User avatar
Jessica
Jessica, you're a ...
Posts: 8337
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 8:57 pm UTC
Location: Soviet Canuckistan

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Mon Dec 05, 2011 10:53 pm UTC

doogly wrote:On a scale of Mr Rogers to Fascism, how mean do you think we're being?
Belial wrote:My goal is to be the best brain infection any of you have ever had.

User avatar
Josephine
Posts: 2142
Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2009 5:53 am UTC

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Josephine » Tue Dec 06, 2011 1:51 am UTC

I'm on 4mg estradiol, 200mg spiro. so, yeah.
Belial wrote:Listen, what I'm saying is that he committed a felony with a zoo animal.

User avatar
Wyvern
Posts: 488
Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2009 11:31 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wyvern » Tue Dec 06, 2011 1:54 am UTC

[redacted] wrote:
Josephine wrote:I noticed it within a day. If your dosage is right, and you're not in a work-up period, you'll probably know.

Hm. I'm on 2mg estradiol, 25mg spiro and I really haven't noticed anything yet. Maybe it's just that I haven't noticed it yet.

That's a really low dose of spiro. I'm at 200mg of spiro a day and have been there since I started.

like, really low. I've heard of people taking up to 400mg a day.

User avatar
Brace
Posts: 1169
Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:40 am UTC
Location: Denver, Co
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:04 am UTC

I would be at 400 a day if I were on Spiro. 4mg estradiol is also a much more common dose.
"The future is the only kind of property that the masters willingly concede to the slaves" - Albert Camus

User avatar
Shivahn
Posts: 2200
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:17 am UTC

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Shivahn » Tue Dec 06, 2011 5:39 am UTC

I'm going to my first actual LGBTQ meeting thingy ever at a center near me tomorrow. I'm nervous as fuck, and afraid everyone's going to hate me. It's a small group, and everyone I've talked to who goes sounds awesome, so I'm... nervous over nothing, I know. But being naturally shy+really unsure of myself makes it nerve-wracking. I really wish I'd done more stuff like this in college.

User avatar
poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
Posts: 4749
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:28 am UTC
Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Tue Dec 06, 2011 7:50 am UTC

Shivahn wrote:I really wish I'd done more stuff like this in college.

And the next-best time to learn is now. <3

It's like ... tearing off a mask, to go to this kind of meeting. It hurts, if the mask has been there for a long time. You feel the cold, fresh air, not on your face but on your heart. And it's like learning to walk again. And you can do it, because you've done it before. Not the same skills, not the same way of learning, but it's still just learning your way again. You've done that before, and you will many, many more times. If you're lucky, and willing.

<3
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
- Albert Schweitzer, philosopher, physician, musician, Nobel laureate (14 Jan 1875-1965)

User avatar
NovaNatalia
Posts: 207
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:11 am UTC
Location: Australia

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NovaNatalia » Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:00 am UTC

Promised myself I'd tell Father I'm transsexual next time I spoke to him.

He phoned today.

I didn't.

Again.
I am the way into the doleful city. I am the way into eternal grief. I am the way to a forsaken race ... You who enter here, abandon all hope.

User avatar
PM 2Ring
Posts: 3700
Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2009 3:19 pm UTC
Location: Sydney, Australia

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PM 2Ring » Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:54 am UTC

Monika wrote:Tell them that you are bisexual. That's what I tell hetero people, even though "somewhere between pan- and asexual" would be more correct. I don't want to confuse them with details :wink: .

Wise. The odds are that they'd misunderstand the details (or not be able to comprehend them), anyway.


natashatasha wrote:Promised myself I'd tell Father I'm transsexual next time I spoke to him.

He phoned today.
I didn't.
Again.


Oh, well. Don't be hard on yourself over that. Maybe it'd be easier to do it in a letter. Or in person, with your mother present (since she already knows). Perhaps you just need more practice in coming out to people. How many people know now? Have you told any other relatives apart from your mother?

User avatar
NovaNatalia
Posts: 207
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:11 am UTC
Location: Australia

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NovaNatalia » Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:08 pm UTC

I'd send him an e-mail, but he never checks them. I suppose I could send him one and text him to check, but chances are he'd phone me back immediately, and I'm really nervous about it as it is. I don't think he'll be anything but accepting of me, I know he loves me deeply, but every time I've brought up anything relating to trans-rights he's been rather disparaging and dismissive. I've promised myself it will get done by Christmas, because I would really like to start hormones next year, but every time I try I just fail.

As for coming out to people, I've told all my friends bar two, one of whom will be moving to the US next year, and most people online either know me as a transwoman or just as a woman. My mother is the only relative I've told, which means I still need to tell my brother and father. I don't intend to tell my Oma and Opa, who live three doors down from us, until as late as possible.

I suppose as you both suggest an e-mail would be best, but I just can't drag myself to write it.
I am the way into the doleful city. I am the way into eternal grief. I am the way to a forsaken race ... You who enter here, abandon all hope.

User avatar
Jessica
Jessica, you're a ...
Posts: 8337
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 8:57 pm UTC
Location: Soviet Canuckistan

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Tue Dec 06, 2011 4:44 pm UTC

My HRT regiment is 1.875mg C.E.S. (conjugated estrogens), and 300mg Spironolactone.

I always wondering what the difference was between my CES and others Estradiol. I tried looking it up just now, and I'm still having problems understanding the difference.
doogly wrote:On a scale of Mr Rogers to Fascism, how mean do you think we're being?
Belial wrote:My goal is to be the best brain infection any of you have ever had.


Return to “General”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 28 guests