[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Mon Jan 09, 2012 11:05 pm UTC

Triss Hawkeye wrote:I'm also thinking about cutting my hair to something a little more androgynous. At the moment it's just about shoulder length, and I'd like to keep a bit of length to it rather than go really short, but I'd also like something that could pass as masculine if I wanted. Any thoughts or suggestions?

I think your idea is right, cut it short, but don't cut it too short. Really short hair could emphasize feminine facial features and it might just look like a (stereo)typical "lesbian haircut".
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby doogly » Mon Jan 09, 2012 11:12 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:Tying your hair back into a tight ponytail can sometimes heighten androgyny. It makes me look like J-pop boy band member, at any rate.

And you can go for the high ponytail if you want a sporty look.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NovaNatalia » Tue Jan 10, 2012 6:12 am UTC

I managed to get in touch with a trans- organisation. Apparently, what I heard about hormones is wrong — not only do I not need to go full time, but I don't need to see a psychiatrist either, just need to go to a GP and ask for them.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Tue Jan 10, 2012 12:23 pm UTC

Oh wow, that sounds great :D . Good luck!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Wed Jan 11, 2012 12:51 am UTC

Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PM 2Ring » Wed Jan 11, 2012 5:05 am UTC

Ravana wrote:Note: you probably shouldn't be using talc powder for face stuff, as iirc there were studies that showed it was like asbestos when it got in your lungs. I could be totally wrong though. This is its own post because, well, I feel it is important.


As I mentioned earlier, talc powder is pretty useless for face stuff, anyway. And I agree that it's not good to breathe in large amounts of it, but it's ok if you use it sensibly.

FWIW, I used to carve talc (aka soapstone) when I was younger, and I probably should've used a mask, since the dust generated in carving can be very fine. And sometimes soapstone contains small amounts of asbestos, but asbestos is not present in talcum powder, since any such impurities are removed during the manufacturing process. Ultrafine talc can get into the smallest lung pathways and lodge there, causing silicosis, which isn't fun, but it doesn't seem to lead to cancer like asbestosis can.


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Roffle. :)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby animeHrmIne » Wed Jan 11, 2012 5:18 am UTC

Aaeriele wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_govGNuHhSg


I really like how these videos highlight microaggressions. This one's great.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PerchloricAcid » Wed Jan 11, 2012 7:16 pm UTC

What could I do to help lgbt(iqqa) people? :(

Personally, I'm the "b" in that acronym, but I'm currently in a heterosexual relationship and haven't ever really had any problems due to my sexual orientation.
However, I know many people have many problems due to this.
I'm always highly emotional regarding this topic. Some say I'm unreasonably making a personal problem out of it, but what the heck even if I am. I deeply feel that heteronormativity and its derivatives are awful things. I hate homophobia, and hate is too light a word. :evil: :evil: :evil:
I'd love to help somehow, but I don't just know how. Please, give me some advice. :(

1. I've considered joining some organization that would be supposed to deal with this, but in my country, it seems that they're mostly full of people trying to build political careers, and I don't really see I'd help in any way by joining one.
2. I try to rise awareness by talking with people through everyday conversations. However, truth is, I rarely have an opportunity to speak with someone who would be ready to accept the things I'd have to say. There are lots of people here that would beat the shit out of a gay person, just because they're gay. You can't really have a reasonable conversation with those people. :|
3. I post links with supportive stories etc. (some of which I found out about by reading through this topic) on my Facebook wall, but people who "like" them are people who already thought that "gay is okay". I don't even think that I have a single homophobe among my "friends list" (that is, I'm not aware of it). [Although.. I had posted the story about Wyatt/Nicole (the transgender kid, it's a few pages back on this topic), and there was one guy that supports the "lgb" part of the acronym, but not the "t" part, who responded. I tried to explain stuff, but I don't know whether I've succeeded in changing his opinion, because he didn't reply to my last comment.]

I'd love to contribute to building a better society for lgbtiqqa people, but I just don't know what to do!

Guide me :idea:

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Wed Jan 11, 2012 7:47 pm UTC

Stand up when you see an injustice; call out the people perpetrating it. Even if you can't have a reasonable conversation, it's better than staying silent.
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PerchloricAcid » Wed Jan 11, 2012 7:52 pm UTC

Yeah, I usually do that.
Unfortunately, there was this one instance when I didn't do so (because I thought that nothing good would come out of me speaking up), but remained completely silent. Happened a month or two ago, and I still sometimes feel like shit about it. :(
Thanks for the encouragement, I'll keep speaking up.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby XJ_0 » Thu Jan 12, 2012 2:36 am UTC

Aaeriele wrote:Stand up when you see an injustice; call out the people perpetrating it. Even if you can't have a reasonable conversation, it's better than staying silent.


I try to live this. And I, too, get mad at myself for whenever I haven't said something or I said/did the wrong thing. v_v,

Spoiler:
Recently, I've been having conflict with one of my partners because their stance on this is to stay silent. They point to it being a safety concern for them to speak up (they are afraid of being targeted and hurt). They see the situation as: we speak up, we get hurt, we didn't change their minds, nothing changed but us getting hurt. I see: even if I didn't change their minds, then (or ever), at least I confronted the wrong; if they hurt me, that's their fault, not mine.

I have been getting angry when I try to speak up, but they are urging me to keep quiet, and have been having trouble dealing with the anger I feel. I currently don't know a way to fix/handle this. v_v,,

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Thu Jan 12, 2012 2:44 am UTC

Note that my statement was specifically targeted towards allies, not marginalized groups themselves. Allies don't risk nearly as much when they speak up, and thus it's that much more important for them to speak up on behalf of those who would incur more risk by being vocal.
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby sambot5 » Thu Jan 12, 2012 3:39 am UTC

Anyone book suggestions for gay teens? I read Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan, but was generally unimpressed; the story seemed shallow and I felt that it had too many plot holes.

In the meantime, I'll anxiously wait for my copy of TFiOS to arrive in the mail (I'm a John Green fan).
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby The EGE » Thu Jan 12, 2012 5:01 am UTC

Also waiting for TFiOS here. Amazon shipped my copy today ^_^

Leviathan and Green wrote Will Grayson, Will Grayson which is all manners of awesome, and partially about several gay teens.
sillybear25 wrote:But it's NPH, so it's creepy in the best possible way.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Cathy » Thu Jan 12, 2012 6:00 am UTC

I and my female partner at the time (age 15-17) both loved Annie on my Mind. Also, Hear Us Out. Both by Nancy Garden. I wholeheartedly suggest both books to all people of all ages.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby podbaydoor » Thu Jan 12, 2012 7:18 pm UTC

XJ_0 wrote:
Aaeriele wrote:Stand up when you see an injustice; call out the people perpetrating it. Even if you can't have a reasonable conversation, it's better than staying silent.


I try to live this. And I, too, get mad at myself for whenever I haven't said something or I said/did the wrong thing. v_v,

Spoiler:
Recently, I've been having conflict with one of my partners because their stance on this is to stay silent. They point to it being a safety concern for them to speak up (they are afraid of being targeted and hurt). They see the situation as: we speak up, we get hurt, we didn't change their minds, nothing changed but us getting hurt. I see: even if I didn't change their minds, then (or ever), at least I confronted the wrong; if they hurt me, that's their fault, not mine.

I have been getting angry when I try to speak up, but they are urging me to keep quiet, and have been having trouble dealing with the anger I feel. I currently don't know a way to fix/handle this. v_v,,

Anger is difficult to deal with, especially since it seems to conveniently short-circuit all the parts of my brain that are actually capable of making rational arguments. For me, one of the only ways to deal with it is to research and memorize statistics and facts. If I feel myself getting angry and inarticulate, I start mentally reaching for facts to recite. Plus it strengthens your argument to begin with.

As for confrontation vs. non-confrontation - you are better at assessing your own security than anyone else. I will say that you do not have to come away from every argument having scored all the points and gotten in every last word to "win." Most arguments end in stalemates on the surface. But just saying your piece often means that you're exposing the other person to data and viewpoints that they haven't considered or avoid considering. Whether that's outwardly effective or not, you've still traded information with them. Sometimes just seeing how passionate their opponents are will leave an impact on people. Sometimes having repeated arguments will slowly whittle away at their sense of security in their position.
tenet |ˈtenit|
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a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Thu Jan 12, 2012 7:36 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:Most arguments end in stalemates on the surface. But just saying your piece often means that you're exposing the other person to data and viewpoints that they haven't considered or avoid considering. Whether that's outwardly effective or not, you've still traded information with them. Sometimes just seeing how passionate their opponents are will leave an impact on people.

That's my experience, too. People (myself included :P ) can generally not admit that they were wrong while the discussion/confrontation is going on, at least not if it was a position they were somewhat convinced about. But you may have changed their mind anyway and in the next discussion/situation where the same topic comes up they may soemtimes even support the opposite (=your) position.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Chuff » Thu Jan 12, 2012 8:06 pm UTC

The EGE wrote:Also waiting for TFiOS here. Amazon shipped my copy today ^_^

Leviathan and Green wrote Will Grayson, Will Grayson which is all manners of awesome, and partially about several gay teens.

Can confirm that WG,WG is great, and also, just finished TFiOS. God damn.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby XJ_0 » Fri Jan 13, 2012 12:11 am UTC

podbaydoor wrote:Anger is difficult to deal with, especially since it seems to conveniently short-circuit all the parts of my brain that are actually capable of making rational arguments. For me, one of the only ways to deal with it is to research and memorize statistics and facts. If I feel myself getting angry and inarticulate, I start mentally reaching for facts to recite. Plus it strengthens your argument to begin with.

As for confrontation vs. non-confrontation - you are better at assessing your own security than anyone else. I will say that you do not have to come away from every argument having scored all the points and gotten in every last word to "win." Most arguments end in stalemates on the surface. But just saying your piece often means that you're exposing the other person to data and viewpoints that they haven't considered or avoid considering. Whether that's outwardly effective or not, you've still traded information with them. Sometimes just seeing how passionate their opponents are will leave an impact on people. Sometimes having repeated arguments will slowly whittle away at their sense of security in their position.


Wow, I really like the idea to memorize facts and statistics. I had never thought of doing that, before. ^_^;; Thank you!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby sambot5 » Fri Jan 13, 2012 12:42 am UTC

Chuff wrote:
The EGE wrote:Also waiting for TFiOS here. Amazon shipped my copy today ^_^

Leviathan and Green wrote Will Grayson, Will Grayson which is all manners of awesome, and partially about several gay teens.

Can confirm that WG,WG is great, and also, just finished TFiOS. God damn.


omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg

My copy of TFiOS came...and IT WAS HANKLERFISHED!!!!!!! Also, I read Will Grayson, Will Grayson and enjoyed it too!

I'm looking forward to reading TFiOS, but all my friends have told me that it's really sad. I hope that Hazel doesn't die... ;( After all, quoting from John Green's tumblr, TFiOS is supposed to make you:

Image

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby The EGE » Fri Jan 13, 2012 3:32 am UTC

sillybear25 wrote:But it's NPH, so it's creepy in the best possible way.

Shivahn wrote:I'm in your abstractions, burning your notions of masculinity.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PM 2Ring » Fri Jan 13, 2012 11:24 pm UTC

Aaeriele wrote:Note that my statement was specifically targeted towards allies, not marginalized groups themselves.

You were? I thought you were responding to this post:
PerchloricAcid wrote:What could I do to help lgbt(iqqa) people? :(

Personally, I'm the "b" in that acronym, but I'm currently in a heterosexual relationship and haven't ever really had any problems due to my sexual orientation.
However, I know many people have many problems due to this. [...]


Aaeriele wrote:Allies don't risk nearly as much when they speak up, and thus it's that much more important for them to speak up on behalf of those who would incur more risk by being vocal.

Agreed.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby a_fuzzyduck » Sat Jan 14, 2012 4:23 pm UTC

TRIGGER WARNING: news articles with comment sections
this, with dodgy terminology, it seems

then this

and this fluffy bit today

a bit refreshing, from the paper that used to support this horror. At least they're moving in the right direction though :)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Sat Jan 14, 2012 7:18 pm UTC

It's awesome that his classmates and their parents support him.
It's ridiculous how the school tries to deny now that it was because of the clothes.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Sat Jan 14, 2012 10:57 pm UTC

At the school I went to, the revelation that I was trans* (on the part of the teachers, albeit not myself) led to the sudden illegibility of my handwriting and the sudden unacceptability of my hygiene. I got up at 4 in the morning once and showered for 2 hours. When I went to school I still apparently had an odor. I really have to wonder about my parents in the context of all of this, and whether or not they were more cued into subtext than I was and complacent with it and therefore horrible people, or if they were just completely asleep at the wheel (and therefore horrible people)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NovaNatalia » Sun Jan 15, 2012 11:24 am UTC

I was really unhappy with the progress of my voice, so I stopped recording them. I recorded it for the first time in four months just now, reading snippets of what I was doing etc. and ... wow, a month of full-time practise makes a huge amount of difference! For the first time I'm actually happy with the progress I'm making, and I can actually see sounding female as a plausible outcome.

So, to steal Aaeriele's line ... yay
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Роберт » Mon Jan 16, 2012 10:46 pm UTC

O. M. G.

Vent about bigotry:
Spoiler:
I just pointed out that "tranny" is offensive along the same lines as "faggot" or "spic" and got a bunch of people telling racist jokes and comments like
it seems to me that you are equating being GLBT - and, in this case, esp. T - with being black in the sense of importance/deserving of respect/etc.

Are you kidding me? You have no idea how many Asians there are at my school. I am a minority... and I'm oppressed!

From this point on I refuse to be called by any term other than "A person of pale skin who may or may not be white."

Yeah, I can see why standing up against bigotry could be emotionally intimidating and exhausting. And I'm a straight cis white male!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby XJ_0 » Tue Jan 17, 2012 12:52 am UTC

Роберт wrote:
Spoiler:
I just pointed out that "tranny" is offensive along the same lines as "faggot" or "spic" and got a bunch of people telling racist jokes and comments like
it seems to me that you are equating being GLBT - and, in this case, esp. T - with being black in the sense of importance/deserving of respect/etc.


Spoiler:
What? This makes no sense to me... There are hierarchies of who deserves respect and who is of importance? That is absurd, to me. v_v,

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Tue Jan 17, 2012 3:14 am UTC

Well sure.
Spoiler:
If you want to be a materialist about it, these would be based on the weight of social transgressions against a given group. IE, slavery is generally read as more significant than lack of employment or marriage rights (which are also bases that blacks have traditionally had covered anyway.) If you want to get metaphysical, then "choice" offers a clear way of dichotomizing (use of quotes is obvious in purpose, since "choice" is a hard thing to establish, especially if you lack concrete experience with something that ostensibly is one). Social disruptiveness could offer another criteria. Lastly, salience is a huge thing. So even though gypsys and other racial minorities have been persecuted historically with fervor not unlike that the jews have been subjected to, they generally get ignored in the oppression olympics. African genocide gets less social cred in the states than having a slave for a great great grandfather. The general ranking is something like: Jews, Blacks, other racial minorities, physically disabled people, gays, people with psychological disorders, obese people, trans people. Or at least that's the impression I get from spending way too much time on the internet, where people are free to display all their prejudices behind a veil of anonymity. The list obviously isn't exact, just sort of a crude estimate of how other people think in general
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby XJ_0 » Tue Jan 17, 2012 6:54 am UTC

Spoiler:
I think what I'm having the most trouble with, even laid out like this, is that I view people as belonging to multiple groups. It's hard for me to see priorities when I see multiple issues that need attention, and (that I feel) carry significant weight.

...Also, I didn't know much about the persecution of the gypsies. v_v,

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Tue Jan 17, 2012 9:56 pm UTC

XJ_0 wrote:
Spoiler:
...Also, I didn't know much about the persecution of the gypsies. v_v,

Spoiler:
They were also murdered by the nazis.
They prefer to be called Roma by the way, at least in the US (those in Germany are mostly Sinti, so they always say "Sinti and Roma", even though actually Sinti are a subgroup of Roma).
They are also still discriminated against today. In Italy, France and in South-Eastern Europe it is very bad even from government side.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby apricity » Wed Jan 18, 2012 12:20 am UTC

Even with spoilers, this is not the place to be comparing degrees of oppression.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Wed Jan 18, 2012 12:22 am UTC

It wasn't meant to be an earnest comparison, just a statement on the premises embedded in various types of bigotry and the consequences of holding these premises on a person's thought. I understand the distaste though. Sorry. My own actual feelings are generally summed up by the Frankl quote:
To draw an analogy: [...] suffering is similar to the behavior of gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore the "size" of human suffering is absolutely relative.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby apricity » Wed Jan 18, 2012 1:59 am UTC

I wasn't just talking to you, I meant to end the entire spoilered conversation.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PhoenixEnigma » Wed Jan 18, 2012 2:27 am UTC

On a different note, not a bad article on asexuality on BBC news today - and it's nice to see that it made the top 10 most read, too. Go go gadget visibility :)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Wed Jan 18, 2012 3:19 am UTC

Not a bad article at all, though asexuals don't generally have a problem with the "not really a good word to refer to people who aren't asexual" thing. They're sexuals, right? :wink:

It's true that, as the article states, asexuals don't have to deal with the "outright phobia" that homosexuals do (and transgender people, whom the author doesn't mention). If I meet a person in real life and talk about asexuality, there are a lot of questions and the idea usually seems new to them, but there isn't any visible hatred or fear. (World's most common question: "but... do you masturbate"?*)

When there isn't an asexual in the room, or the exchanges take place online? Holy crap do (some) people get angry and hateful. Usually it's a variation of "put them in a room with each other and lots of booze and they'll stop being asexual hyuk hyuk", or "they're screwed up because they [were abused as kids|never had a good lay|haven't met ME yet hyuk|(insert contents of speaker's sexual insecurities)]".

Mostly, I wish more people knew about it because then more people would show up to our local AVEN meetups, and then I'd have at least a snowflake's chance in heck of finding a date goddammit.


* for the terminally curious: asexuality is lack of sexual attraction toward others, not lack of functioning sexual organs and/or hormone swings. Many asexies do the self-care thing, and some don't. It varies. People be all sorts.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Wed Jan 18, 2012 4:14 am UTC

I've also heard a distinction based on whether a person lacks romantic feelings, sexual feelings, or both. I know a lot of self-described asexuals who still have romantic feelings toward other people, without the libidinous urges.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Wed Jan 18, 2012 5:39 am UTC

Yes, that was alluded to when the author described Jenni as heteroromantic, and mentioned aromantic vs. romantic asexuals. (Feck off, Firefox, asexuals is totally a word. :grump: )

Many asexuals that I've met through AVEN do want a partner, and some don't. Famously, at least if you're an AVEN member, the AVEN site founder (David Jay) is aromantic. He has sometimes come up to Vancouver to present a talk on asexuality with a fellow AVENite who lives here (originally from California, like DJ). There is usually a part of their slide-based presentation where the two of them argue about romantic vs. aromantic asexuals and which is better. She talks about the importance and challenge of finding a partner; he talks about community-based relationships and being "like a third partner" to couples with whom he shares intimate emotional relationships with no physical component.

As with sexuals, there are heteroromantics, homoromantics, biromantics, and panromantics in the asexy population. Many asexuals do in fact partner with sexuals, and many of those are okay with having sex with their partners. I've heard from many people about this, with all sorts of feelings about it:

- "I like it, but only with [partner]. I don't want to do it with anyone else."
- "it's fine because I know that it's important to [partner], even if I could totally do without it."
- "It's just something I am willing to do to keep our marriage together."

There are also people who just really aren't down with it. Some parts of what we call the asexual community are pointedly anti-sex, claiming that sex itself is a blight on humanity and should be eradicated, or else that asexuals are more pure than everyone else. (The official policy of AVEN is that sex is fantastic if you want to have it, but none for us thanks.) I haven't met any anti-sex people in our local group, but I have heard things that are different from what I've quoted above:

- "I was okay with it, but it felt like I needed to ignore part of myself to go through with it. I got to a point where I couldn't do that anymore."
- "Eww!"
- "No. It feels like violation, and I won't put myself through that anymore."

(The last quote is in fact my own. :| )

In other words, asexuality is probably as complicated as sexuality, except it's not something everyone knows about. And everyone doesn't really need to know all about it, but it would be nice if enough people knew enough about it. Ya know?


/sorry for the book report. I'll pipe down now.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Cathy » Wed Jan 18, 2012 6:17 am UTC

Sex is fantastic if you want to have it, but none for us thanks


I like this quote. This is how an asexual friend of mine describes it. That and she says "Eew, it's just so messy! Why!?"

She has had trouble in the past where she wanted non-physical romantic relationships and became pressured eventually due to "but I thought it was a phase."

"It's just a phase" has got to be my least favorite phrase to come out of anyone's mouth, ever. Even mine.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Wed Jan 18, 2012 6:26 am UTC

Cathy wrote:That and she says "Eew, it's just so messy! Why!?"

I get that. Because there is no sexual attraction on my part, it's just like masturbating but more awkward and gross. :shock:

Cathy wrote:She has had trouble in the past where she wanted non-physical romantic relationships and became pressured eventually due to "but I thought it was a phase."

Yup. Been there. Won't go back. Because ... well, I was going to say "eww! lol" but decided to say instead: I've learned more about myself, thanks to AVEN, and I will never let myself get backed into something so self-betraying again. This is what I am. If that means I have to live without a romantic partner for the rest of my life, then that is what I will do. Because romance sucks when it's on someone else's terms.

/apparently I wasn't done with the book report
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
- Albert Schweitzer, philosopher, physician, musician, Nobel laureate (14 Jan 1875-1965)


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