[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:15 pm UTC

I have bought an Abaya (black dressy coat thing) (legally required), I will bring a headscarf along (not legally required, but religious police may tell women anyway to cover their hair) and I have a list of things not to bring into the country: stuffed animals, statues of humans or animals, bibles, real pearls, fake pearls, books or magazines with women without sufficient body covering, anything that has pork or alcohol or might have pork or alcohol (mouthwash without alcohol has been sized in some cases), I won't bring CDs or DVDs as even when they have zero videos on them they have been seized in the past, and as laptops are searched I will delete all photos on my laptop, as there might be some women without sufficient covering somewhere. I will also leave most medication at home, as it can be mistaken for drugs. I might leave my camera at home, as photographing people, public buildings, palaces, mosques, airports and ports is illegal, so not too much is left.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:33 pm UTC

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:36 pm UTC

Well, a lot of other people are going, too. A woman from Portugal and a couple of man from all over: two other Germans (one of whom is now helping me sort out the visa ... still not sure if it will work in time), a Brit and some people from Dubai and Egypt. It's not exactly politics, I have been helping build this software demo for their central bank (SAMA = Saudi-Arabian Monetary Agency). I just assumed someone else would do the actual demo ... well it's mostly the other female colleague (from Portugal) who will be doing the demo, but I should be there to answer technical questions about the solution.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Quercus » Fri Sep 12, 2014 7:42 am UTC

Monika wrote:I have bought an Abaya (black dressy coat thing) (legally required), I will bring a headscarf along (not legally required, but religious police may tell women anyway to cover their hair) and I have a list of things not to bring into the country: stuffed animals, statues of humans or animals, bibles, real pearls, fake pearls, books or magazines with women without sufficient body covering, anything that has pork or alcohol or might have pork or alcohol (mouthwash without alcohol has been sized in some cases), I won't bring CDs or DVDs as even when they have zero videos on them they have been seized in the past, and as laptops are searched I will delete all photos on my laptop, as there might be some women without sufficient covering somewhere. I will also leave most medication at home, as it can be mistaken for drugs. I might leave my camera at home, as photographing people, public buildings, palaces, mosques, airports and ports is illegal, so not too much is left.


Okay, sounds like you have it sussed, hope everything goes smoothly, enjoy your trip! (unless you are coming down on the side of not wanting to go, in which case I hope that the visas don't get sorted in time).

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Sep 12, 2014 6:47 pm UTC

good news: now have a GF

even better news: she is totally OK with me being BI, and being a tad queer at times. she totally accepts it (and actually is very into a few things)

couldn't be happier.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby existentialpanda » Sun Sep 14, 2014 12:21 am UTC

I'm going on a date next week :D I've been trying out online dating - my irl social circle currently consists solely of people in my grad program, who are pretty much all partnered, straight, or both. Mostly both. So I joined OKC and now I'm meeting somebody, and it's exciting but also a little bit terrifying? I've never dated before, I don't really know what I'm doing. Still looking forward to it though :D

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Sun Sep 14, 2014 12:49 pm UTC

Thanks Quercus.
My abaya arrived, it's this one: http://www.amazon.de/gp/product/B00LY7N ... UTF8&psc=1 . I assumed it was coat-like (open in the front, maybe with buttons or a zipper), but it's like a dress (pulled over the head), that line in the middle that you can see is decorational. Tomorrow (Monday) afternoon I have an appointment with the embassy. Then it takes three days to a week to get the passport back with the visa. Which may be too late, the demo to the customer is on Sunday (their weekend is Friday+Saturday, like in many Muslim countries and in Israel). Also it says "Women under the age of 40 who are travelling alone will need a Pre-issued Visa.", but it's not entirely clear what this means ... I could only travel to KSA alone if I previously traveled with my husband/brother/father? I will see.

Congrats Tomlidich and existentialpanda :) . Enjoy, enjoy!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Sep 15, 2014 4:06 pm UTC

congrats panda!

don't stress too much, just go have fun ;)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Fri Sep 19, 2014 12:16 am UTC

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Fri Sep 19, 2014 3:34 pm UTC

Oh no :( .
Why did this happen?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Fri Sep 19, 2014 4:21 pm UTC

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NovaNatalia » Sat Sep 20, 2014 3:22 am UTC

Do women's clothes with necklines actually exist?! Every shop I go into have all their 'neck'lines down around their chest, which I simply can't wear. I bought a couple of black women's t-shirts at K-mart to layer, but guess what? They sold out and don't intend to get more ... because there's no demand for them. You sold out your entire shipment in a fortnight and there's no demand?! And despite me seeing plenty of larger women, apparently the department stores don't believe in our existence, either.

Whinging aside, I am having real difficulties finding tops I can wear, especially as summer is coming and it is a lot hotter here in Brisbane (with more humidity) than back in Melbourne, so I won't be able to layer without melting. There are, unfortunately, not any op shops near me — I'm definitely the wrong social class for this area. It doesn't help that I don't feel safe — I keep seeing so many dresses that I'd love to be able to wear, and yet all I can think of when I see them is 'that looks like a good way to end up in the morgue'.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Sat Sep 20, 2014 3:54 am UTC

natashatasha wrote:Do women's clothes with necklines actually exist?! Every shop I go into have all their 'neck'lines down around their chest, which I simply can't wear. I bought a couple of black women's t-shirts at K-mart to layer, but guess what? They sold out and don't intend to get more ... because there's no demand for them. You sold out your entire shipment in a fortnight and there's no demand?! And despite me seeing plenty of larger women, apparently the department stores don't believe in our existence, either.

In my experience, camis are your friend. You can get ones that are really breathable, and they handle necklines well.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Quercus » Sat Sep 20, 2014 8:48 am UTC

natashatasha wrote:It doesn't help that I don't feel safe — I keep seeing so many dresses that I'd love to be able to wear, and yet all I can think of when I see them is 'that looks like a good way to end up in the morgue'.


That sucks. Is there any way you can arrange to wear those sort of dresses only in places where you are/feel safe? The sort of thing I'm thinking of is throwing a dinner party at your place (so you get to control who's there), and wearing one for that, or, if you go to parties/meals at friends houses asking if they mind you changing when you arrive and before you leave (you may not have friends you're comfortable with to that extent in Brisbane yet, so that might be one for the future).

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby rath358 » Wed Sep 24, 2014 12:45 pm UTC

I started going to a therapist again this semester. In theory we will put together a letter to an endo next visit, and then I will just have to wait to schedule things with them, or something.
I still don't quite know what I am, but I want to see whether going on hormones will make my brain work better. I have convinced my therapist that I am ready to try this, but I still (and probably always will) have lingering doubts. -shrug-

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Wed Sep 24, 2014 6:56 pm UTC

Saudi Arabia didn't happen, the visa came on Monday, i.e. too late. I'm happy.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Wed Sep 24, 2014 8:38 pm UTC

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby socktopus » Mon Sep 29, 2014 12:10 am UTC

I've posted here before about my confusion re: my gender.

I'm DMAB but, over the last couple of months I've become increasingly certain that "man" is not a good descriptor for me.

It's never been a term I identify with and sometimes it actively feels wrong (in particular, "manly" is an adjective I actively feel does not apply to me). Almost any other label seems to fit at least slightly better. Currently the combination of terms I can find to describe what I feel is some sort of androgynous, genderfluid mashup.

Again, because so many of my close friends are queer and I've indentified as a mostly-straight man, I'm kind of worried that maybe this isn't actually how I feel and I'm just making this up to feel like I have a place in a space to which I have no right. I'm not sure if this is just whatever mental health stuff I've got going on though.

I tried telling one friend today but the opportunity passed before I could take it (I was also at the tail end of an anxiety attack which made it harder to jump on).

Edit: and I just posted a note on fb visible to only a handful of friends. That was hard to write.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Wed Oct 01, 2014 6:16 pm UTC

I hope you will get positive reactions on Facebook!

Also, your avatar is very cute.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby socktopus » Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:01 am UTC

Thanks (I came up with the name first and then googled for a suitable picture because I thought someone must have drawn the pun before).

Pretty much everyone who can see the post's replied. All have been positive (I thought they would be, they're all pretty close friends and all but two are also queer). One of the people also offered to put in me in touch with a bunch of trans people and even help getting hormones (I think there's a long gatekeeping period here).

The main things I'm struggling with at the moment (now that I've pretty much entirely convinced myself I'm not making these feelings up) is what to do with my facial hair and catching myself misgendering myself or applying terms with gendered implications that don't align with how I feel.

There's a bit of added pressure in that freshers are arriving at the moment and that they'll probably find it easier to stick to any new set of pronouns or whatever I tell them if I'm introduced to them with those rather than changing once they already know me. At the moment I'm leaning towards they or she but I'm not sure I'll be comfortable telling that many people by the time all the freshers are here. :/
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Mokele » Thu Oct 02, 2014 1:00 am UTC

Is it actually necessary to choose? There was a lovely essay on a now-deleted blog about folks like myself who are "gender apathetic" - maybe we do or don't identify as male or female, completely or incompletely, but we just don't given enough of a shit to actually change pronouns, adjust presentation, etc. It's not fear or inertia, just that gender doesn't play much into our personal self-perception either way.

If it's something you feel strongly about, fantastic, but there's no real obligation to pick any label at all.

Or, in the words of His Neutralness:[urlhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ussCHoQttyQ]I have no strong feelings one way or the other![/url]
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Pfhorrest » Thu Oct 02, 2014 3:39 am UTC

Mokele, it makes me happy to hear that there are other people like that out there. I often worry that others both in and out of the LGBT community will think less of me for not going either "going fully trans" or else conforming wholly to cisnormative standards. Something analogous to bisexual erasure, I guess? "Pick a side", basically. It's nice to hear of other people who don't care about "sides".
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PM 2Ring » Thu Oct 02, 2014 5:09 am UTC

Mokele, are you familiar with the work of David Crews and his colleagues? I first learned of him in a January 1994 Scientific American article, Animal Sexuality. This article briefly discusses theories of the evolution of animal sexuality and sex determination. The title page image of the article is a drawing of a pair of parthenogenic New Mexico whiptail lizards engaging in pseudo-copulation.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby socktopus » Thu Oct 02, 2014 10:31 am UTC

I don't really feel very apathetic about my gender. I'm definitely not male an I feel that pretty strongly. Based on online stuff, I know I'm at least as comfortable with she/they pronouns as with he pronouns and I certainly feel like it would be nice not to just get called with he pronouns.

So I'm fairly sure that I'm likely to tell people to use a different pronoun set at some point anyway. If I can tell people as soon as I meet them what that is, I imagine it'll stick faster and better with them. It's probably moot anyway, I probably won't be in a much more definite place by then.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Mokele » Thu Oct 02, 2014 7:12 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:Mokele, it makes me happy to hear that there are other people like that out there. I often worry that others both in and out of the LGBT community will think less of me for not going either "going fully trans" or else conforming wholly to cisnormative standards. Something analogous to bisexual erasure, I guess? "Pick a side", basically. It's nice to hear of other people who don't care about "sides".


Yeah, I'm sad the blog that had the post got deleted; they explained it much better than I have. I think the better analogy would be asexual erasure, since it's not a case of "pick one" (I think that would be genderqueer) but rather a case of "what do you mean you don't care?", though even that's an imperfect analogy.

PM 2Ring wrote:Mokele, are you familiar with the work of David Crews and his colleagues? I first learned of him in a January 1994 Scientific American article, Animal Sexuality. This article briefly discusses theories of the evolution of animal sexuality and sex determination. The title page image of the article is a drawing of a pair of parthenogenic New Mexico whiptail lizards engaging in pseudo-copulation.


Yep (I'm a herpetologist, though reproductive biology isn't my area)! Though I'll admit I've become slightly biased against parthenogenesis after the behavior of a parthenogenically-born water moccasin I was using in an experiment (his mother *earned* the name "preacher-killer" (twice), and he seems to have inherited her attitude).

socktopus wrote:I don't really feel very apathetic about my gender. I'm definitely not male an I feel that pretty strongly. Based on online stuff, I know I'm at least as comfortable with she/they pronouns as with he pronouns and I certainly feel like it would be nice not to just get called with he pronouns.


No worries, I figured I'd just throw the option out there for you.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby mosgi » Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:37 pm UTC

Mokele wrote:Is it actually necessary to choose? There was a lovely essay on a now-deleted blog about folks like myself who are "gender apathetic" - maybe we do or don't identify as male or female, completely or incompletely, but we just don't given enough of a shit to actually change pronouns, adjust presentation, etc. It's not fear or inertia, just that gender doesn't play much into our personal self-perception either way.

If it's something you feel strongly about, fantastic, but there's no real obligation to pick any label at all.

Or, in the words of His Neutralness:[urlhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ussCHoQttyQ]I have no strong feelings one way or the other![/url]

Y'know, that sounds not entirely dissimilar to something I've been thinking about myself. I don't think I have (much of) an internal sense of gender, I largely identify as male because that's what everyone else identifies me as and I don't really care enough to disagree with them. The main problem I can see is that I have no idea how most cis people feel about gender, so I don't know to what extent it's just that I've never really had to think about it before. Because that's certainly also a possibility.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:54 pm UTC

triggers for SRS regret, Self-harm and suicide inside -ST
Spoiler:
A friend in the furry community told me about someone they knew who got SRS and regretted it. They never identified as female, not really identifying as a gender at all, but in practice they were a gay male submissive who crossdressed recreationally. They decided to get SRS because they figured they weren't using that equipment anyway and wanted to get rid of the bulge without having to worry about tucking. It destroyed their sex drive and their emotional and psychological wellbeing and I think they killed themselves. I don't remember because it's been a while. Sorry to bring it up, something must have just reminded me about it.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Sat Oct 04, 2014 11:30 am UTC

Are you afraid that this could happen to you? That you get SRS to be safe(r) from transphobia / transmisogynist violence but it might turn out that it's not the right thing for your body-mind-soul?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Sat Oct 04, 2014 11:37 am UTC

This post had objectionable content.

What Brace was trying to say was "No" -ST
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jay Vogler » Mon Oct 06, 2014 12:45 am UTC

socktopus wrote:Again, because so many of my close friends are queer and I've indentified as a mostly-straight man, I'm kind of worried that maybe this isn't actually how I feel and I'm just making this up to feel like I have a place in a space to which I have no right. I'm not sure if this is just whatever mental health stuff I've got going on though.

No. If you're worrying that you might be making it up, you're not making it up. Uncertainty can be a valid part of gender identity.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby rath358 » Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:37 pm UTC

Over the weekend, I got my ears pierced on a whim and bought a cheap but nice faux leather jacket and purse. My therapist will, in theory, be writing a letter for HRT sometime in the next couple of weeks, and I found out that the nearest endo takes my insurance and will probably have a waiting period of less than a month.
It has been a good week! :D

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:58 pm UTC

What do you all think about yesterday's comic?

My employer made this LGBT Allies campaign: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epY1nW3kx7I It's very nice.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby WilliamTheConqueror » Sat Oct 11, 2014 10:06 pm UTC

rath358 wrote:Over the weekend, I got my ears pierced on a whim and bought a cheap but nice faux leather jacket and purse. My therapist will, in theory, be writing a letter for HRT sometime in the next couple of weeks, and I found out that the nearest endo takes my insurance and will probably have a waiting period of less than a month.
It has been a good week! :D


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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Sun Oct 12, 2014 7:20 pm UTC

I'm flying to Saudi Arabia tomorrow. Unless something comes up again that prevents this from happening.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NovaNatalia » Sat Oct 18, 2014 6:05 am UTC

I hope Saudi Arabia doesn't turn out to be a horrid experience for you, Monika :(

Updates! Clothing situation still sucks, but I had my first session of laser today (alexandrite laser)! It didn't hurt nearly as much as I expected, which is good because I'm a complete wimp when it comes to pain. Progress is being made!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Sat Oct 18, 2014 8:46 pm UTC

Congrats on near-painfree lasering!

In Saudi Arabia it was okayish. It's hard to find a ladies' bathroom in the offices. Until recently they had only men working there and also now there are very few women. I turned out I didn't have to wear a headscarf anywhere (only carry it with me in the handbag in case the religious police shows up, but I didn't meet any) - my Portuguese colleague wore hers in the office on the first day to be sure and the colleagues said she can take it off. I was glad about this, the headscarf was bothering me a lot when I tried it at home before. The abaya didn't bother me too much. There is always a worry when being together with male colleagues outside of the office, especially when going out to eat, as technically it's illegal. But the only people ever arrested were mixed parties of whites and Arabs, I only went out with European colleagues. On Tuesday evening there was a short scare, one American man got shot to death in Riyadh (where I was) and another injured. But it turned out to be something personal between these two and the Saudi-American shooter. I have to go again next week.

Yesterday I was at the PrOut@Work conference in Dortmund. It's a network of the LGBT networks of various employers. There were several discussions/workshops and talks. I am glad that there is more of a focus on "trans@work" now. One of the six (two slots with three in parallel) workshops was on the topic. There were relatively many trans people present, I think ca. 15 in around 90 total participants (and that's just those who mentioned they're trans in that workshop). One of the interesting things was they presented the outcome of a trans@work conference earlier this year, one of which was a list of advantages to an employer when hiring trans people - e.g. they have experience of management of years-long projects, when presented with "It's not possible" they reply with "But it has to be", they are tenacious in the face of adverse conditions. I talked about that my employer (SAP) has a transitioning policy and that recently our HR was trained about facts like some people might show up with one name on their current ID and a different and differently-gendered name on their school and college degrees, and other such things. Everybody thought that was really great - apparently none of the other companies has a transitioning policy, yet. Two people from other companies asked me to mail them ours. I brought up that even my company still doesn't do anything for non-binary trans people - title choice is limited to Mr and Mrs, job offers use m/f not m/f/other, gender gap (actually an underscore) and gender asterisk (ways of being non-binary-inclusive in gendered nouns) are not used and the only gender-neutral bathrooms are labeled only with a disabled sign. Then it turned out many people present didn't even know what non-binary means or that other genders than m/f exist.
I was a little bit sad at the conference because there was a lot of bi erasure/invisibility :( . Like, I don't expect a "bi workshop" or any such thing, because what's the point. But when in a panel discussion one of the "straight allies" invited says that the people in her company know that she is straight even though she is active for LGBT rights because she was married to a man I expect the moderator to intervene and mention that hey, bi people exist. Also while there was a lot of talk about whether ally is a good term (too militaristic) nobody ever brought up that the opposite of LGBT is not straight, but cis straight. When I talked to the moderator directly later he replied it was so hard to always remember such things :evil: . Well I bet when straight people once again forget that love/family etc. doesn't have to mean man+woman he would not accept such an excuse. Also they renamed the tagline of the org from LGBT to LGBTIQ, which is good, but they were like: This should hopefully cover it, no more additional letters, and I'm like: asexual! And he's like: Well I'm not that far myself yet. :evil: All-in-all it was a good conference, but there is still a lot to do. It's still largely dominated by gay men. Gay men who think it's too much of a bother to think of the other people in the community.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NovaNatalia » Sun Oct 19, 2014 12:47 pm UTC

I'm sorry for posting twice in as many days. I've been cheerful all fortnight, despite nightmares Friday night (the general kind of horrors, plus one of the last time I was assaulted. Going to leave this vague, because I know it's not the place for it), and then midmorning today I just ... was suddenly miserable. No trigger as far as I could tell, just miserable, and I couldn't drag myself to do anything. One of the women I work with is giving her final talk for her Honours year and I didn't even manage to drag myself to bake her a cake to congratulate her.

And if that weren't bad enough, I got to experience my first anxiety attack a couple of hours ago. I was stammering an I couldn't stop myself, couldn't regain my composure, and I knew I was beginning to panic but couldn't stop. Fortunately, I was fully cognisant of what was happening and managed to call my partner and they managed to talk me down, even though they're more than 1600 km away. It was terrifying.

And now I wish simultaneously that I am completely alone and that my friends were here to comfort me, no matter how contradictory that is.

I thought I was strong enough to withstand adulthood, always thought that I just had to be the good girl that was expected of me everything would be fine. and now I can't stop crying or typing or even pull together a single coherent thought and I don't really want to worry you people or wear on your good will or make you think I'm seeking attention orr just waste your time, and I would just delete this but there's a note on my computer from past-me ordering me to type this and if I ignore her then there's no one left o listen to. How fucking sad is that? I'm taking orders from myself in the past like it was a different person that made them because I don't even trust myself to think straight.

And yet, if you read this I obviously hit submit. Otherwise I'd just be ignoring her, and I'm all that she has at the moment. I can barelywait for christmas wehn I get to see my family and partner again, even if I have to pretend to be a boy. It's funny, I listen to past-me, but I'm willing to subject future-me to that. What does that say about past-me and her motivatiopns? Is she just doing this because it was easier to leave it to me? Does this even make sense>

I just hope Aislinn my partner forgives past and present me, because I know future me will be delighted beyond anything to see them again.
I am the way into the doleful city. I am the way into eternal grief. I am the way to a forsaken race ... You who enter here, abandon all hope.

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mosgi
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby mosgi » Sun Oct 19, 2014 4:33 pm UTC

Natashatasha: I can't really comment on most of what you said, aside from offering sympathy and internet hugs (but only if wanted). But there were a couple of things I wanted to say:

natashatasha wrote:I don't really want to worry you people or wear on your good will or make you think I'm seeking attention orr just waste your time

I don't think you're doing any of those things. That's why we have a safe space - so you can talk about these things to people who are happy to listen.

natashatasha wrote:And now I wish simultaneously that I am completely alone and that my friends were here to comfort me, no matter how contradictory that is.
[...]
How fucking sad is that? I'm taking orders from myself in the past like it was a different person that made them because I don't even trust myself to think straight.

Although I haven't had the specific problems you're talking about, I've definitely felt these before. And they're both absolutely fine - in particular, I find that if there's something I really ought to do but don't want to, finding some way to "force" future-me to do it works really well.

Monika: Yay, I guess? Mixed with a lot of "oh god why?" [edit: I had mentioned a problem here, but it's now been solved. Yay! :D ]
Last edited by mosgi on Sun Oct 19, 2014 10:13 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.
(they pronouns please)

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Monika
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Sun Oct 19, 2014 7:29 pm UTC

{{{ natashatasha }}} <-- hugs (if wanted)
And don't worry about bothering us. We are here for you.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PM 2Ring » Mon Oct 20, 2014 2:14 am UTC

:big hugs: to natashatasha. Hang in there, girl. We're thinking of you.


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