Your Greatest Regret

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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Which do you regret more?

Things you did that you wish you didn't
33
23%
Things you didn't do that you wish you did
109
77%
 
Total votes: 142

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mattmacf
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Your Greatest Regret

Postby mattmacf » Thu Apr 19, 2007 12:53 am UTC

What is the one thing in your life that you regret the most? What did you learn from it? And if you could change things, what would you have done differently?

--
My biggest regret (to date) happened last summer. I was in Brigantine, NJ (right next to Atlantic City) with a couple of friends for the weekend. We were walking up and down the main drag looking for something to eat and we had stopped into the nearby Wawa for a bit. On the way out I passed quite possibly the cutest girl I never met. We locked eyes for a second, maybe two, turning our heads as we walked in opposite directions: she on her way in, I on my way out. For that fleeting moment, time slowed to a crawl.

I hesitated.

An instant later, I was out the door never to see her again. I wound up going for a walk along the beach alone that night. I walked the entire length of the beach towards Atlantic City (like a moth to the glowing lights in the distance), secretly hoping to find that girl doing the same thing (a la the Sunrise comic) and have the chance to redeem myself. All tolled I walked about six or seven miles over the course of about three or four hours and stayed up to watch the sun rise over the Atlantic Ocean before going back to the house my friends were renting.

A few weeks ago, Randall posted (IMHO) his most poignant comic yet. The one thing I disagree with, however, is the alt-text:
It's easy to regret your awkward conversations but hard to regret the ones you didn't have.

There are plenty of things in my life that I do indeed regret doing, however it turns out the things you don't do are the ones that stay with you the most.
--

What's your story?

EDIT: Out of curiosity, let's add a poll...
Last edited by mattmacf on Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:16 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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3.14159265...
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Postby 3.14159265... » Thu Apr 19, 2007 12:59 am UTC

First off, I had a boy friend then!

And I DID Go out for that walk, I just came about 1 hour after you left!!!

My email is .. ah... BELIAL? wut hte,....

Revege me!........
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Postby Jesse » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:01 am UTC

It's easy to regret your awkward conversations but hard to regret the ones you didn't have.


Just to point out what I felt was meant by that alt-text. To me that is saying that it is better to have an awkward conversation and regret it, than it is to not have had the conversation at all.

On-topic: My biggest regret right now is not throwing caution to the wind and just moving down south or back to Scotland when I had the chance. Good things have come since, but I regret not seeing how life would have turned out.

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Postby Jack Saladin » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:04 am UTC

Dude, you have lived one sweet life if your biggest regret of all time is not talking to some random hot chick.

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Postby Jesse » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:05 am UTC

Or a horrifically lonely one.

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Postby Castaway » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:05 am UTC

Regrets for me tend to be stupid shit I did, rather than like "should i do this, or shouldn't I" There's never a moment of hesitation, it just sometimes turns out bad. Like the time I drank too much Johnny Walker Red and blacked out, throwing up and swearing at my girlfriend. I still feel really bad about that. And my parents are still mad at me.
You've just lost twenty dollars and my self respect.

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mattmacf
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Postby mattmacf » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:06 am UTC

Jesster wrote:
It's easy to regret your awkward conversations but hard to regret the ones you didn't have.


Just to point out what I felt was meant by that alt-text. To me that is saying that it is better to have an awkward conversation and regret it, than it is to not have had the conversation at all.

Hmmm, I never thought about it that way. I always parsed it as regret comes more freely from the awkward conversations you had and not so much for the one's you didn't.

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Postby Jesse » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:08 am UTC

Most people in the comic discussion thread would agree with you, but I felt my way just made more sense, at least to me.

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Postby Castaway » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:10 am UTC

To quote Eddie Van Halen, "I live my life like there's no tomorrow!"
You've just lost twenty dollars and my self respect.



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Postby mattmacf » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:13 am UTC

Saladin wrote:Dude, you have lived one sweet life if your biggest regret of all time is not talking to some random hot chick.

Lol, not exactly. It actually happened at a really low point in my life and one that I'm still not out of. I've done plenty of stupid things in my life, but in hindsight, there are very few of those moments that I really want back. The things I didn't do when I had the chance, however, have stuck. This was essentially a microcosm of all of those things.

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Postby Jack Saladin » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:13 am UTC

I live my life like it is tomorrow!


It's very confusing.

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Postby Castaway » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:16 am UTC

If it's any consolation, I'll bet she was narcissistic and dim-witted.
You've just lost twenty dollars and my self respect.



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Postby Narsil » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:20 am UTC

I try and keep my life regret free by trying new things often. Within reason, however. I wouldn't do drugs or alcohol because I feel that would cause major regrets later.

But for example, I was very shy last year, but for some reason I was compelled to take Theater class this year. If I hadn't I wouldn't have gotten involved with the spring play and met a group of new friends, including my first girlfriend whom I love very much.
Also, the play gave me an opportunity to deliver a line which has become a catch phrase at my school. I'm a celebrity!

See, it's funny how life works out like that.
Spoiler:
EsotericWombat wrote:MORE JUNK THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR

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*sees Narsil's sig*
Oh... that.

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Postby mattmacf » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:25 am UTC

Castaway wrote:If it's any consolation, I'll bet she was narcissistic and dim-witted.

Lol thanks :lol:

While I don't doubt that, there's still that nagging feeling that I'll never know for sure :|

On the bright side though, I haven't made that mistake since. I can only hope I don't do it again :wink:

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Postby Jack Saladin » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:26 am UTC

So, what, you talk to every single attractive female you pass now?

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Re: Your Greatest Regret

Postby SargeZT » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:27 am UTC

mattmacf wrote:What is the one thing in your life that you regret the most? What did you learn from it? And if you could change things, what would you have done differently?

--
My biggest regret (to date) happened last summer. I was in Brigantine, NJ (right next to Atlantic City) with a couple of friends for the weekend. We were walking up and down the main drag looking for something to eat and we had stopped into the nearby Wawa for a bit. On the way out I passed quite possibly the cutest girl I never met. We locked eyes for a second, maybe two, turning our heads as we walked in opposite directions: she on her way in, I on my way out. For that fleeting moment, time slowed to a crawl.

I hesitated.

An instant later, I was out the door never to see her again. I wound up going for a walk along the beach alone that night. I walked the entire length of the beach towards Atlantic City (like a moth to the glowing lights in the distance), secretly hoping to find that girl doing the same thing (a la the Sunrise comic) and have the chance to redeem myself. All tolled I walked about six or seven miles over the course of about three or four hours and stayed up to watch the sun rise over the Atlantic Ocean before going back to the house my friends were renting.

A few weeks ago, Randall posted (IMHO) his most poignant comic yet. The one thing I disagree with, however, is the alt-text:
It's easy to regret your awkward conversations but hard to regret the ones you didn't have.

There are plenty of things in my life that I do indeed regret doing, however it turns out the things you don't do are the ones that stay with you the most.
--

What's your story?

EDIT: Out of curiosity, let's add a poll...


No offense intended by any means, but you must have had a pretty darn good life if that is your biggest regret. I mean that in every complimentary way possible.

My biggest regret... hmm... well, I have a depressing one that I don't want to drag down the forum with, so we'll go with another one. I suppose, if I had one last request left in life, I would probably ask to be given a high velocity assault rifle, a crate full of depleted uranium shells, and go to antarctica and kill every penguin I could find.

Edit: I guess I'm one of the small group that would rather safari hunt a shitload of penguins than change something horrible they did :(
Last edited by SargeZT on Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:30 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Akira » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:29 am UTC

Haa~... My biggest regret is not applying myself when I could have in school. I could be working on my bachelors by now if I had done what I needed to do. I could have skipped three or four grades, just about.
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Postby Castaway » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:34 am UTC

@SargeZT: you hate penguins? :shock: :shock: :shock: are you even a real person? You're a robot. You metal motherfucker. ::glare::
You've just lost twenty dollars and my self respect.



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Postby electoralfraud » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:34 am UTC

Teh Booze.

Teh Drugs.

Oh, and not working at school and at least making a serious go at an oxbridge application. These days my brain is far too fried; I'd like to have at least seen what I was capable of.

So I'd vote both if I could as they're rather intertwined.

I am however doing better these days :)

[Edited to take out some details which are probably better not disclosed with an account where I have both mentioned my uni and posted my face. Future employers notice these things you know.]
Last edited by electoralfraud on Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:53 am UTC, edited 6 times in total.

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Postby mattmacf » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:37 am UTC

Saladin wrote:So, what, you talk to every single attractive female you pass now?

I haven't let my shyness/cowardice/timidness stop me from approaching one I wanted to.

Although perhaps I've just convinced myself that the ones I don't talk to aren't worth it anyway...?

SargeZT wrote:No offense intended by any means, but you must have had a pretty darn good life if that is your biggest regret. I mean that in every complimentary way possible.

Eh, not particularly. I've been picked on, made fun of, beaten up, arrested, done plenty of drugs (and had plenty of bad trips), been in an out of bad relationships, and tons of other fun things. For whatever reason, I don't regret a bit of that though. It's really the little things that I didn't do that bug me the most. Maybe I'm just weird like that...

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Postby SargeZT » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:38 am UTC

Castaway wrote:@SargeZT: you hate penguins? :shock: :shock: :shock: are you even a real person? You're a robot. You metal motherfucker. ::glare::


Oh dear no, I love penguins. They're my favorite animal ever besides cows.

I am a robot, but not the cool type. Yet.

The reason I would kill penguins would be, no one ever, ever fucking kills penguins. They're the only animal that, even when the most experienced hunters in the world think about shooting them, they vomit in disgust. Using depleted uranium rounds, they'll probably explode in a fantastic fashion, and I will forever be known as the 'The Penguin Holocaust' or TPH for short.

I would never kill a cow though. They're way too fucking chill.

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Postby Jack Saladin » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:39 am UTC

Maybe you're in denial, and choose to fixate on some trivial event instead of confronting the real fuckups in your life.

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Postby Castaway » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:41 am UTC

I regret not going to Stuyvessant (anybody know what that is? basically, it's an elite highschool in NYC) because I was scared of a big school.
You've just lost twenty dollars and my self respect.



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Postby SargeZT » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:42 am UTC

mattmacf wrote:
Saladin wrote:So, what, you talk to every single attractive female you pass now?

I haven't let my shyness/cowardice/timidness stop me from approaching one I wanted to.

Although perhaps I've just convinced myself that the ones I don't talk to aren't worth it anyway...?

SargeZT wrote:No offense intended by any means, but you must have had a pretty darn good life if that is your biggest regret. I mean that in every complimentary way possible.

Eh, not particularly. I've been picked on, made fun of, beaten up, arrested, done plenty of drugs (and had plenty of bad trips), been in an out of bad relationships, and tons of other fun things. For whatever reason, I don't regret a bit of that though. It's really the little things that I didn't do that bug me the most. Maybe I'm just weird like that...


Well, to be honest, I'd probably undo all of my bad trips. But if I did that, I'd be missing like 6 months of my life, and I don't know if I'd be happier without them.

My biggest regret? It was my fault my mom died, and not in one of those little kid 'It's all my fault' sort of ways, it's pretty much entirely my fault. Probably fix that. But I think I would kill penguins, because I don't want my entire life changed, but I'd like a nice thing to cap it off with. :)

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Postby Jack Saladin » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:43 am UTC

Your fault as in you were driving the harvester?

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Postby SargeZT » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:43 am UTC

Saladin wrote:Your fault as in you were driving the harvester?


Yeah, pretty much. I convinced her not to go to the hospital, and she died of an easily preventable stroke because I told her not to.

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Postby Castaway » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:44 am UTC

or your fault like "garden state broken plastic"
You've just lost twenty dollars and my self respect.



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Postby SargeZT » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:46 am UTC

Castaway wrote:or your fault like "garden state broken plastic"

Well, she told me she thought something was really wrong and she wanted me to drive her to the hospital. I had to go to work so I convinced her it probably wasn't a big deal, went to work, when I got home, she was dead.

So I'm considering it pretty much my fault.
Last edited by SargeZT on Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:46 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Jack Saladin » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:46 am UTC

Well, I think he just won the thread. Anyone want to try and top that?

And no, "awh, I didn't talk to a cute girl" does not count.

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Postby Castaway » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:49 am UTC

Wow, fuck, sorry I was kind of sarcastic and dismissive.
You've just lost twenty dollars and my self respect.



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Postby SargeZT » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:50 am UTC

Well, I said I didn't want to post it in my first post, but hey, don't worry guys. I wouldn't bring her back if I could, as horrible as that sounds.

First reason, my life turned out probably for the better with her dying. We were pretty poor when this happened, but she had taken out a large life insurance policy, which not only paid for all of our debts and funeral costs, it allowed us to move to a wealthier town, where my dad remarried about 4 years later.

Second reason, It would be pretty much witchcraft to bring her back and to be honest I don't trust witches. I heard they can turn you into wild animals.

Third reason, I really, really wanna shoot the penguins.

Seriously though, cheer up guys, that was a long, long time ago. I regret it, but hey, life goes on. For me, anyways :lol:

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Postby Castaway » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:51 am UTC

I see that. What was the matter, if you don't mind me asking?
You've just lost twenty dollars and my self respect.



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Postby mattmacf » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:52 am UTC

Saladin wrote:Maybe you're in denial, and choose to fixate on some trivial event instead of confronting the real fuckups in your life.

Well thank you Dr. Freud, I'm glad somebody on teh intarnets knows me better than I do :P

Although personally I think it's more a matter of missed opportunities for me. If I do something stupid and I screw up miserably, I can honestly say that I tried. When I don't do something that I wanted to do because of my own silly insecurities I have a tough time getting over it.

Saladin wrote:Well, I think he just won the thread. Anyone want to try and top that?

And no, "awh, I didn't talk to a cute girl" does not count.

I didn't know this was a pissing match. I figured I'd open up a thread I thought would be interesting to discuss and related a personal anecdote. No need to get defensive.

SargeZT wrote:Well, she told me she thought something was really wrong and she wanted me to drive her to the hospital. I had to go to work so I convinced her it probably wasn't a big deal, went to work, when I got home, she was dead.

Words fail me :cry:

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Postby SargeZT » Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:58 am UTC

She had a stroke blocking one of the blood vessels in her brain. Basically, if I had got her to the hospital, they could have given her blood thinners and it probably would have gone away.

Worst part is, her left arm was completely numb and I still talked her out of it.

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Postby JuliaGlass » Thu Apr 19, 2007 2:01 am UTC

I don't think I have a greatest regret. There's a lot of things that I think "well, that could have went better" or there's a lot of times I feel like I missed an opportunity, but there is nothing that haunts me.

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Postby Castaway » Thu Apr 19, 2007 2:02 am UTC

I concur. Perhaps I'm simply too young and havent met as many crucial junctures in life yet.
You've just lost twenty dollars and my self respect.



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Postby Popliteal » Thu Apr 19, 2007 2:15 am UTC

It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission. Unfortunately I'm not able to live by that motto

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Postby JuliaGlass » Thu Apr 19, 2007 2:15 am UTC

Yeah, me neither. From what I've seen, it's probably true though.

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Postby Anmorata » Thu Apr 19, 2007 2:32 am UTC

I have so very many regrets that it's hard to choose just one. But I'll pick my top 3.

I regret leaving my father's side the night that he died. That was almost 17 years ago, and it doesn't get any easier. To help ease the pain a little, I participate in fundraising for the American Cancer Society's Relay For Life every year, in his memory.

I regret quitting high school when I did. It made life so much harder. I'm sure I'm a better person for all the things I've learned, but it's been a long, hard road. I'm in college now, a decade later. I'm sure I'll be "grandma" to all the the other students in my class when I get to KSU. I'll be 29 this summer.

I regret letting "The One That Got Away" leave so easily. Why didn't I fight for it? But how could I when he didn't feel he could fulfill the parental role I needed him to? I respect him for his decision, and I always will, but I regret not fighting harder for his presence in my life. It's waned to sporadic contact. It still stings a bit, and that was half a decade ago.
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Postby kcr » Thu Apr 19, 2007 3:03 am UTC

I find it very interesting that the second choice is winning.. a real indicator of something about people, huh? Obviously if you did something that turned out to be a big mistake or have a negative impact on your life, you'd regret it. But I think maybe we regret not doing things more because then we get the chance to imagine how it might have turned out. Probably how we imagine isn't how it would happen.

I don't have any "big regrets." Just because I don't think I've lived enough. The smaller things I do regret, are things I haven't done. So there you go.


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