Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

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Hazel
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby Hazel » Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:25 pm UTC

Esperite wrote:Secondly, I wish I was more comfortable socially. When I'm with my close friends I'm talkative and open, but put me near anyone else and I can hardly string together a couple words without feeling embarrassed/extremely uncomfortable. It's not that I can't articulate myself well or that I sound bad, I just feel extremely off in that situation.


Yes exactly. Thank you for writing that out for me. (Well, you and half everyone who's posted in this thread.)

And I would like to be a little more emotionally stable, dammit. Everything social I do (including internet-social), I do on an endorphin rush. Then comes the crash and oh god oh god I talked to all these people oh god they hate me.

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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby garren101 » Sun Oct 18, 2009 7:58 pm UTC

I wish I weren't so damn shy, it makes it difficult for me to talk to people. I need somebody else to initiate conversation with me because I am unable to do so. I also want to get rid of my psoriasis, I'm extremely self-conscious about it to the point that if a cute girl looks at me I automatically think that that's all they're looking at.
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby Hackfleischkannibale » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:07 pm UTC

I wish I was better at saying no to people, at being hard with them, less easily frightened by others - and of course, all this only when appropriate. I don't want to laisser faire the others. Relatedly, I would like to be better at resisting authorities, like my fellow civil service colleague.
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby blue_eyedspacemonkey » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:10 pm UTC

Hazel wrote:And I would like to be a little more emotionally stable, dammit. Everything social I do (including internet-social), I do on an endorphin rush. Then comes the crash and oh god oh god I talked to all these people oh god they hate me.
Aw man, this. I thought I was the only person this happened to.
I constantly second-guess myself, and apologise lots. I even apologise for apologising too much :P
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby sleeply » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:24 pm UTC

I wish that I were able to focus on one task until I completed it. As it is now, I do several things at once and go from each one to another one, but I know that that's not the most productive way of doing things.
Last edited by sleeply on Thu Oct 22, 2009 7:17 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby You, sir, name? » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:52 pm UTC

This:

'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:I need to beat myself with a wet towel and scream "STOP BEING SO FUCKING LAZY" in my own face until maybe I can get up at a decent hour, not waste entire weekends, etc.


This:
'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:Then I need to use a similar method to stop myself spending so much goddamn money on junk food and just plain junk.


This (though it's mostly because I drink a lot of coffee):
'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:Would be nice if my hands weren't so damn shaky. People keep thinking I'm nervous as hell or on drugs when I'm just talking casually. Don't even get me started on soldering.


Definitely this:
'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:Should really learn to cook[...]


And this:
'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:Noticed my eyes have a tendency to wander to naughty places when talking to a girl. DAMMIT EYES STOP FUCKING DOING THAT BEFORE I STAB YOU WITH A TOOTHPICK. The sad thing is I'm not even out to "get laid" like so many of these pigs, but how are they supposed to tell when my stupid eyes keep saying the opposite? -.-


I could also stand to loose some weight, and I'm still quite terrible at talking to people, even though I've improved quite a lot.
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frywater
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby frywater » Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:55 am UTC

I wish I had the ability to turn the light off sometimes. Does that mean I fear the dark?
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Chicostick
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby Chicostick » Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:11 am UTC

I wish I hadn't started losing all my hair as a Freshman in high school. It really cuts down on the styling options, namely it's bald or... bald.

That and I'd like to have good eyesight. I'm pretty much useless without my glasses. I'm not even sure where I am on the visual acuity scales, all I know is that without my glasses I can't see that big E at the top of a Snellen Chart. Or a letter twice the size of that E. In fact, I'm so nearsighted there is literally no point in my vision where I can see clearly without my glasses, as by the time the object is close enough to my face for me to see clearly, it's to close for me to even focus on anyway.

Oh, and my tendency to form Keloid scars from cuts is pretty annoying. I had a mole removed on my back under suspicion of it being cancerous, and now I have a half dollar sized scar/lump on my back. It's annoying to have to explain what it is to everyone that sees me without a shirt on. I'm just glad they aren't itchy or painful and don't get to large like some can.

But that's all silly physical stuff and not to big a deal I guess.

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Armadillo Al
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby Armadillo Al » Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:18 pm UTC

blue_eyedspacemonkey wrote:I constantly second-guess myself, and apologise lots. I even apologise for apologising too much :P

Me too, although I usually only do the last as a joke after I get called out on apologizing too much.

That still probably only ranks around #25 on the list of things that I wish I could change about myself, though. :-/
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby SlyReaper » Tue Oct 20, 2009 2:04 pm UTC

I wish I could stop being so apathetic towards my social life. I graduated from university just over a year ago, and all I have left are 3 friends who I still occasionally keep in touch with. The rest of my social life is work outings which is incredibly sad. I need to go to a language class or something just so I have new people to talk to.

I also wish I could lose a bit of weight. The canteen at work does sausage and bacon buns in the mornings, and as a result I have become chunky. Really chunky.
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Shpow
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby Shpow » Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:27 pm UTC

Not be such a know-it-all Mister I-have-the-correct-answer in Philosophy, English and Religion classes. Or else others should stop wearing that washed over I'm-indifferent-to-education faces.

Be taller and be thought of more as an attractive guy, rather than the cute go-to friend kinda guy that attracts girls a year or two young. I don't like how I attract 13-14-year-olds, attract the -wrong- 15-year-olds and never attract the 16-year-olds. (for a bit of background, I'm 15 turning 16 this November). But I guess this is just a case of waiting, since I *nearly* went out with a 20-year-old but we both were all "yeah this ain't happening right now 'cause it's quite a freaky age gap." In short, my mind is older than my body.

I wish I had more dedication when it came to learning music, it's quite interesting to tinker with and I think I could do with another art form to grasp but all the technicalities wear me down.

I want proper facial hair or at least nicer face-skin. It's not severely bad, but a just a bit... eck.

My tendency to sometimes leak out too much talking.

My tendency to fudge minor details for effect.

My tendency to flirt, even if it's not so bad.

My hunger fits x)
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garren101
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby garren101 » Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:54 pm UTC

Shpow wrote:I don't like how I attract 13-14-year-olds, attract the -wrong- 15-year-olds and never attract the 16-year-olds. (for a bit of background, I'm 15 turning 16 this November).

That used to happen to me back in High school, just take it as a compliment that someone thinks you're attractive.
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby CombustibleLemons » Tue Oct 20, 2009 11:25 pm UTC

I too wish i had befriended more girls when I was little for now I have only one very good friend who's of the female type. Also i wish my hands would stop sweating so much when I'm near girls. One other thing why'd did I become best friends with some one who would grow up to be a douche.
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Plasmic-Turtle
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby Plasmic-Turtle » Wed Oct 21, 2009 8:00 am UTC

This got long:
Spoiler:
I'm mainly just quoting the most relevant ones from everyone elses posts. Perhaps this is the height of laziness, perhaps it is an interesting and somewhat artistic way of simultaneously communicating those aspects of myself which I wish to change and demonstrating just how much we all have in common.

'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:Should really learn to cook, draw, and play at least the piano.
Woah, that is crazily like me in a very scary way. I have recipe books I don't open nearly enough, I have pencils and a sketch pad which I've attempted to draw one human eye on, and I have a keyboard and loads of sheet-music I've printed off but only half an Enya song memorised. And things have remained as such for years.
tin wrote:I wish I was more articulate face-to-face, so as to get across how passionate I feel about certain subjects. I think it's more to do with feeling awkward, rather than lack of vocabulary. I constantly worry what people think about me enough to trip over my words and mumble and all sorts of annoyance.
Chimerathon wrote:Deep thinker, shallow speaker.
These are very much me, except in my case I think it is also to do with poor vocabulary, or at least a paranoia that I might not understand the meanings of words as well as I think I do so I get scared of using them incase it makes me look stupider, combined with some laziness which results in many nouns being replaced with "shit" or "stuff".
Spacemilk wrote:I wish I was more responsible about my spending habits!

CJTnoir wrote:I'm ambitious but lazy. Baaaad combination. I need to learn to get to work and not bum around so much on the internet.
I'm really sensitive to criticism/failure. I'm the kind of person that will get a 98% on a test and be upset about the 2 percent, and even a joking insult will leave me obsessing for years.
I need to find something to be truly passionate about. It seems everyone else my age has a skill or a cause they dedicate themselves to, and I'm just kinda... here. I need something that will get me excited pretty much every time I think about it.
Yup, I'm really sensitive to criticism, or just sensitive full-stop. I also feel totally jealous and inadequate when I see my flatmates and their friends with guitars, banjos, drums and didgeridoos; or my friends who are volunteer firefighters, or can make gorgeous soft toys and sew, or know lots about art and are very good at drawing. I am also currently bumming around on the internet instead of writing the introduction section of my masters thesis. Or the rest of it for that matter. Though at least this form of bumming around is a gigantic step up from the bubble-shooter I was playing lastnight?
Hazel wrote:And I would like to be a little more emotionally stable, dammit. Everything social I do (including internet-social), I do on an endorphin rush. Then comes the crash and oh god oh god I talked to all these people oh god they hate me.
This! This exactly. I talk far too much in an outburst of outgoing-ness and then freak out about how everyone probably hates me. Rather psycho. Must work on it.
sleeply wrote:I wish that I were able to focus on one task until I completed it. As it is now, I do several things at once and go from each one to another one, but I know that that's not the most productive way of doing things.
I actually quite enjoy doing several things at once and switching between them over very short spaces of time (as much as it's not good for the tidiness of my desk or room) because it keeps my short attention span happy. The problem arises when I don't finish the task at all, or start so many that I don't know what I've started any more or get lost in a sea of scientific papers with 15 pdf's, 3 word documents and 4 excel spreadsheets open on my desktop because I am totally still working on all of those and will be needing them all within the next few minutes...

ALSO:
- I need to get my driver's licence, badly. (I'm doing it this Saturday, seriously).
- I need to stop being so goddam messy
- I need to be less socially awkward and afraid of conversations with people I'm not very familiar with (it's the ending of these convos that scare me... the awkward silences after the introductory bit - I'm not afraid of approaching people initially).
- I need to get far better at acting/lying.
- I need to be better at keeping in touch with my friends and family.
- Need to learn to be more practical with plumbing, minor electrical work, etc.
Now all we need is a "what we have succeeded in changing about ourselves thread...

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tentacleTherapist
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby tentacleTherapist » Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:22 am UTC

Grah.
Spoiler:
I wish I had a better memory. I constantly beat myself up over forgetting homework, forgetting deadlines, forgetting birthdays, forgetting things I've just been told, forgetting where things I've just put down or used are, forgetting conversations, forgetting important bits of paper and promises I've made. Sometimes I worry that one day I'll just forget myself and be done with it or that it is a symptom of something greater, and other times I feel as if it's not really a matter of memory, it's just an excuse for simply not caring - and I don't know how to tell the difference.

I wish I could articulate my ideas and emotions properly when speaking, and wasn't afraid of showing different sides of myself. Despite obsessing over how I structure my sentences and choose words when writing, my conversations with others tend to be rather brief and trivial and my speech can be quite garbled and stuttering and I often need to repeat myself, even with people to whom I am quite close. I find it incredibly hard to talk about my problems, or things that I'm passionate about, as I lose the words to describe them, I don't want to appear self-absorbed and I can come quite close to tears; and so I end up either avoiding talking about them entirely, or my attempts to do so make them under/overstated (even now I feel like I'm making too much of a big deal about this, for which I am eternally grateful for this forum's spoiler tags). This is because to most people most of the time I appear rather stoical, reserved, awkward and perhaps aloof - and yet to my friends and family (usually at a music concert) I nearly transform into a Genki Girl, an eccentric who poses madcap situations and plans and is always absolutely optimistic and light-hearted about everything ever and all of the time. Hence I usually feel that revealing my real feelings would disappoint and confuse everyone and make them realize how boring/superficial I am, and because I've always thought that I was better than that. It's not that I hate change; it's that I hate when I have to instigate it. And therefore I just continue doing things the way I have always done them, because it's the safest and less emotionally demanding path. So I guess the real thing I want to change about myself is my reluctance and inability to intimately connect with another human...


So this post ended up being about a bit more than I intended, but I felt that it was about time I put it onto (virtual) paper.

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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby SlyReaper » Thu Oct 22, 2009 1:11 pm UTC

Not a personality trait, but certainly undesirable. I wish I could change the fact that I'm diabetic.
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Midnight
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby Midnight » Sun Oct 25, 2009 1:18 am UTC

I wish I was a bit more ballsy. I don't quite have the confident drive to jump out and do stuff. And then on the rare occasions I do things like that, I later go "wow, that was fucking easy."
uhhhh fuck.

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KallistiEngel
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby KallistiEngel » Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:32 pm UTC

I wish I weren't quite as shy as I am, and I wish my facial hair wouldn't grow so fast. If I go 3 days without shaving, I've got a good start on a beard. If I went a week, I bet I'd have a good half-inch of beard growth or so. As it is, on days where I shave in the morning (not typical. I usually shower and shave after work. Dishwashing is a dirty job), I've got a LOT of stubble by the time I go to bed. I hate it.

EDIT: That shyness part goes for when I haven't been drinking. I'm very social when I've got a few drinks under my belt and am with at least one other friend. Otherwise, I have a bit of trouble talking much to people outside of those I'm already friends with.
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tin
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby tin » Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:37 pm UTC

As an appreciator of good beards on dudes, don't be so quick to dismiss the hairiness. It can be super hot.

I say can, because if it's like the case of that one dude I made out with a couple of weeks ago, it can also be super fucking painful. Use conditioner on that flippin' thing, man.
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KallistiEngel
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby KallistiEngel » Sun Oct 25, 2009 11:16 pm UTC

tin wrote:As an appreciator of good beards on dudes, don't be so quick to dismiss the hairiness. It can be super hot.

I say can, because if it's like the case of that one dude I made out with a couple of weeks ago, it can also be super fucking painful. Use conditioner on that flippin' thing, man.

I'm Greek, I'm covered in hair. The one good thing about it is, it's not coarse narsty hair, It's actually pretty soft. So I doubt conditioner would be needed. I don't like having a beard myself. I already tried that. At the end of 10th grade. By the beginning of 11th, I had shaved it down to a goatee. Then I went OCD trying to keep both sides even and wound up just giving up and shaving it off.

But I might give it a go again in the future. Personally I think I look better without one, but I've been told that I don't look bad with 3 days of beard growth-- which happens once a year. Annual music festival around here. If you're not at least a bit mud-covered and shaggy by the end of it, you're not doing it right.
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Magic Molly
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby Magic Molly » Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:59 am UTC

Physically, besides my shit vision in my left eye and near perfect vision in my right, my ears are messed up. One is a cm or so higher than the other, and has a V shaped lobe, rather than the other, which has a U shaped lobe.

Mentally, I'm way to shy, but when i force myself to talk to people i come across as a jerk or a creeper, or both. However, when i can actually loosen up around people, (rare) i'm fun to talk to. However, that's all from what i've been told by others, so they may have been messing with me.

Also physically, i'm told i'm rather intimidating for girls to approach, (i'm 15) since i have a fun habit of swimming/conditioning (water polo ftw) when i get bored, and am 6'4". Since i find it hard to approach girls myself, and my shyness comes across as 'uninterested' a lot much when they sometimes approach me, i've gotten a rep as hard to get or something. Again, all told by others.

On the whole body hair thing, i've been told i have the most interesting hair right after water polo season ends, since i have the old bleached hairs mixed with the normal dark ones.

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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby Plasmic-Turtle » Mon Oct 26, 2009 4:26 am UTC

Magic Molly wrote:Physically, besides my shit vision in my left eye and near perfect vision in my right, my ears are messed up. One is a cm or so higher than the other, and has a V shaped lobe, rather than the other, which has a U shaped lobe.

One of my exes had one ear really different to the other. I thought it was super-cute, and it was something familiar about him that I could touch and really liked. I dunno, when you're into someone these little quirks can seem extra-special and cool, if that makes sense!

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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby krynd » Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:32 am UTC

I wish I was more socially consistent. For example, I'll have days when I feel like talking to everyone about everything, then the next day (or week) I won't feel like talking. As a result, most people assume I "don't talk much" and don't talk to me. Worse yet, if I don't feel like having a conversation (such as my "silent days"), I have a very bad habit of completely ignoring anyone who talks to me. As such, those who don't classify me as "the silent type" classify me as "a total douche".

Physically, I wish my posture was better (picture someone verging on having a hunchback at times). I try to stand up straight, but then get tired and decide to "feel comfortable" at the cost of poor health later in life (a bad back, mostly).
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Re: Undesired traits (you wish to change about yourself)

Postby Magic Molly » Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:47 am UTC

krynd wrote:I wish I was more socially consistent. For example, I'll have days when I feel like talking to everyone about everything, then the next day (or week) I won't feel like talking. As a result, most people assume I "don't talk much" and don't talk to me. Worse yet, if I don't feel like having a conversation (such as my "silent days"), I have a very bad habit of completely ignoring anyone who talks to me. As such, those who don't classify me as "the silent type" classify me as "a total douche".

Physically, I wish my posture was better (picture someone verging on having a hunchback at times). I try to stand up straight, but then get tired and decide to "feel comfortable" at the cost of poor health later in life (a bad back, mostly).


Get out of my head! I find i've got a lot of the same issue. However, my talkativeness stems more from trying to forcibly overcome my shyness. Some days i'm great at it, other not as much. Sadly, i end up coming across as a jerk or annoying when i manage to do so.


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