Technological Naivety

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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evildave
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Technological Naivety

Postby evildave » Mon May 07, 2007 7:40 pm UTC

I replaced the DVD drive in an XBOX I gave to my 72 year old dad, in order to fix the annoying 'read error' crashes. He said the picture on the TV definitely looked clearer.

My neighbor complained that her computer was 'broken'. She couldn't elaborate. Eventually, I got her to tell me that the 'internet was broken'. As it turns out, a single web site she wanted to get to was down for maintenance. Everything else worked.

I betcha some of you have more stories like that.

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Postby cmacis » Mon May 07, 2007 7:47 pm UTC

The number of times that I've been asked to fix the internet/restart the internet/turn off the internet.
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QED is Latin for small empty box.
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Postby SecondTalon » Mon May 07, 2007 7:51 pm UTC

I deal with computer user error on a day-to-day basis. At least I'm no longer answering phones in Tech Support.

The greatest naivety comes from a woman who asked if we provided a Christian internet. After clarifying what she was asking for, she wanted an exact copy of the internet, completely separate from the normal internet, except with the naughty bits gone. Not filtered, because things can slip through the cracks, but completely gone.

I mean... (Free Speech and Alternate Religious Viewpoints aside) it was one of those situations where I felt like asking "So, why do you even want to get on the internet, if you're not going to download porn? I mean, that's why everyone else is there."
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Postby cmacis » Mon May 07, 2007 7:53 pm UTC

When you said Christian internet I thought you were going for that old joke about the protestant wanting all the icons gone from his computer.

Also, why did microsoft name runnable files "executables"? The number of times someone has panicked because their browser has warned them about an executable file on their machine. They think it's going to kill their pc.
li te'o te'a vei pai pi'i ka'o ve'o su'i pa du li no

Mathematician is a function mapping tea onto theorems. Sadly this function is irreversible.

QED is Latin for small empty box.

Ceci n’est pas une [s]pipe[/s] signature.

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Postby Belial » Mon May 07, 2007 7:56 pm UTC

Because they assumed anyone smart enough to know how to work a mouse would know the meaning of the word "execute"?
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They/them

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Postby SecondTalon » Mon May 07, 2007 8:00 pm UTC

cmacis wrote:When you said Christian internet I thought you were going for that old joke about the protestant wanting all the icons gone from his computer.


Sadly, no joke. 5-7 minute conversation, use of the word Christian... I don't remember, but enough to where it stopped sounding like a word to me. I'm guessing over 20 times.

"I'm a christian, and as a christian I was wondering if there was a christian alternative to the internet.. like a christian internet. Do you offer a christian internet service to christians?"

That's about as close as I can get to the conversation.


Oh Lord, why are those who claim to be closest to you so insufferable. And clear up that whole existance thing too, while you're at it. Sign your work, man! Or .. woman.. or.. anthromorphic dragon-man... whatever ye be, Si?



Also, there's this entire website devoted to this sort of thing. Including a story told by a guy who called tech support, and mentioned during the conversation that his cup holder broke off... and then had to explain to the tech support guy that, no, he wasn't an idiot, that he'd affixed a cup holder to his tower and it had broken.
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Postby fjafjan » Mon May 07, 2007 8:02 pm UTC

Belial wrote:Because they assumed anyone smart enough to know how to work a mouse would know the meaning of the word "execute"?


:lol:

I tihnk because they assumed there is no market for Old people using computers.
what Old folks software is there? Pretty stupid I have to say, a huge market to tap.
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Postby SecondTalon » Mon May 07, 2007 8:06 pm UTC

What, you haven't seen the Computer Professor commercials?
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Postby Akira » Mon May 07, 2007 9:32 pm UTC

Okay, you know how WindowsXP allows you to revert from the funky bubbly style back to "Windows Classic"? Well. Thank goodness they don'y block the option somehow on school computers. I get on and first thing I do--fix the resolution and fix the style.

Well, I had one kid look over at me one time...

"Oh my god, I didn't know that ANY of these computers still ran the old OS!"
"...Do you even know what an OS is?"
"THe OS, duh. You know, Windows 98, Windows 2000, and stuff like that."
"Ah. So what are you running at home, then?"
"Well, it looks like that one, and it says 98. So I think its the 98 OS."

I stoped talking at this point.
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Postby niko7865 » Mon May 07, 2007 9:44 pm UTC

"Can I get on the same internet if you install firefox? I like the internet IE has.."
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Postby Andrew » Mon May 07, 2007 9:59 pm UTC

Last week at work I had to fix a £10,000 machine for someone. It wasn't plugged in.

I mean sure, it was plugged into the computer and the mains and all, but the little handpiece wasn't plugged into the actual machine.

I don't even work in tech support. I only joined the company last year.

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Postby Hammer » Mon May 07, 2007 10:04 pm UTC

I like the people who only know one noun and apply it to everything on the screen.

"I opened my form and got my forms and I tried to get the next form but the other form came up and said Error or something and when I closed that form, all my forms were gone!"
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Postby Arturion » Mon May 07, 2007 11:46 pm UTC

My mom's friend was having problems with a design program (he does kitchen cabinetmaking). We fired up the program, and got the error again. So, I asked whether he had looked online for the error, or contacted the company.

The reply: "Well, the error says a line number, so can't I just go into the program file and fix it?"

:shock:

I had to explain to him why attempting to decompile and fix the program was not a viable solution.

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Postby aldimond » Tue May 08, 2007 12:04 am UTC

Arturion wrote:My mom's friend was having problems with a design program (he does kitchen cabinetmaking). We fired up the program, and got the error again. So, I asked whether he had looked online for the error, or contacted the company.

The reply: "Well, the error says a line number, so can't I just go into the program file and fix it?"

:shock:

I had to explain to him why attempting to decompile and fix the program was not a viable solution.


1. The development of practical programming languages to abstract machine code is pretty recent, as compared to the development of, say, cabinetmaking technology. It's pretty specialized knowledge.

2. If an error message spat out a line number it's possible that debugging symbols are still in the code. Disassembly output, given that info, is usually pretty readable. Even without symbols, a Real Programmer could still hack it.

3. Some programs are open-source. He could have gone and fixed it, then. He certainly had the initiative (if perhaps not the skills).

Sure, what he suggested was impractical. But it's not a dumb suggestion!
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Postby cmacis » Tue May 08, 2007 12:23 am UTC

I've also had people worry about switching to Firefox. I should tell them that there are sites that don't display in IE properly because IE ignore the standards.

Also a friend got excited when he heard that FF would copy his favourites across.
li te'o te'a vei pai pi'i ka'o ve'o su'i pa du li no

Mathematician is a function mapping tea onto theorems. Sadly this function is irreversible.

QED is Latin for small empty box.

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Postby pi-3 orionis » Tue May 08, 2007 12:48 am UTC

I get on and first thing I do--fix the resolution and fix the style.


Serisouly why do schools allways have their resolution set sooo low. I swear the computers at my school; the cursor is the size of your fist.

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Postby d3adf001 » Tue May 08, 2007 12:48 am UTC

well my grandfather thinks that firefox is his OS and my mom thinks that she runs "loonix". I dont know where she got that idea from. i dual boot a long time about but removed it a while ago

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Postby Akira » Tue May 08, 2007 12:53 am UTC

pi-3 orionis wrote:
I get on and first thing I do--fix the resolution and fix the style.

Serisouly why do schools allways have their resolution set sooo low. I swear the computers at my school; the curser is the size of your fist.

I wish I knew. Ours are at the usual 800x600. It's like... "Um. I can't fit more than three words side by side on the font you want us to type in, ms blind teacher." (exaggeration...)
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Postby bbctol » Tue May 08, 2007 12:55 am UTC

At my school:
How do I open my file?
Um... hit 'open' and then find where you saved it?
I didn't save it
OOOKAY... then you can't open it. Why didn't you save it?
I heard it uses up memory!

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Postby Akira » Tue May 08, 2007 12:56 am UTC

bbctol wrote:At my school:
How do I open my file?
Um... hit 'open' and then find where you saved it?
I didn't save it
OOOKAY... then you can't open it. Why didn't you save it?
I heard it uses up memory!

*headdesk* You've got to be kidding. Wow. Just wow.
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Postby cmacis » Tue May 08, 2007 1:01 am UTC

In the computer room for the 6th form I went to we had all the hand-me-downs from other departments. The way it worked was that IT got new computers. They would pass their old boxes to the other departments. When clearing out their older computers to make space for old IT computers they would send the older computers to the 6th form. Hence, we started with 10 working machines. I use the word working in the loosest possible terms. By the end of the year we had about 3 machines working as long as you looked around the room for the working mouse and keyboard. We had some idiots in our 6th form. One guy even used windows "message the network" program and got told off because the head's pc was also on the network.

Anyway, the geniuses I shared a 6th form with loved messing with the controls on the monitors. It was not unusual for the screen to display as a triangle or not at all.

Also, we had no access to the controls of the computer. We were stuck in 800x600. We couldn't even change the date/time. Heck, to change our passwords we had to ask the admins personally.

Then there's that time we managed to get admin access. :D Wow we had a crap security system.
li te'o te'a vei pai pi'i ka'o ve'o su'i pa du li no

Mathematician is a function mapping tea onto theorems. Sadly this function is irreversible.

QED is Latin for small empty box.

Ceci n’est pas une [s]pipe[/s] signature.

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Postby Jesse » Tue May 08, 2007 1:04 am UTC

Our best one in college was where we managed to make an admin account called Tyler Durden, and used it to take over student's computers and re-set their permissions and homepages etc.

Also when we stole the teacher's radio mouse and attempted to open up goatse on the projector screen behind him.

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Postby bbctol » Tue May 08, 2007 1:10 am UTC

Akira wrote:
bbctol wrote:At my school:
How do I open my file?
Um... hit 'open' and then find where you saved it?
I didn't save it
OOOKAY... then you can't open it. Why didn't you save it?
I heard it uses up memory!

*headdesk* You've got to be kidding. Wow. Just wow.


Hahano, I go to "Moron Junior High", filled with amusing quotes that make me want to laugh and cry. Such as heat rising because of antigravity. And the United States being part of Europe. And China being a city. In America.

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Postby d3adf001 » Tue May 08, 2007 1:11 am UTC

Jesster wrote:Our best one in college was where we managed to make an admin account called Tyler Durden, and used it to take over student's computers and re-set their permissions and homepages etc.

Also when we stole the teacher's radio mouse and attempted to open up goatse on the projector screen behind him.



how is that possible? the computers reimage when you log off

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Postby Akira » Tue May 08, 2007 1:18 am UTC

Oh lord, my social studies teacher (i've had him for four different classes now) has a wall filled with quotes. Some are inspirational: "Don't be happy with crappy." Some are funny: "If at first you don't suceed, skydiving is not for you."

Then there are actual, real-life people quotes, such as: "Here's an idea: Let's move all terrorism to China."

...It's fun.

But yeah. If you attend Moron Jr. High, I'm at Moron High.

Speaking of computers specifically, it took exactly 2 weeks for most of the students in my computer science to be able to program this: ((Mind you, they were supposed to be COPYING THE PROGRAM OFF A SHEET OF PAPER))

Code: Select all

#include <iostream.h>

void main (void)
{
   double num1, num2, sum;
   cout<<"Please enter 2 numbers."
   cin>>num1>>num2;
   sum=num1+num1;
   cout<<"The sum is "<<sum<<endl;
}


I was "calculating the volume of a cube" within 2 days.


EDIT: And don't even get me started on their incompetancy at functions.

i before e except after c. Except for their. And weird. ok, screw it.
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Postby SpitValve » Tue May 08, 2007 1:29 am UTC

Akira wrote:

Code: Select all

#include <iostream.h>

void main (void)
{
   double num1, num2, sum;
   cout<<"Please enter 2 numbers."
   cin>>num1>>num2;
   sum=num1+num1;
   cout<<"The sum is "<<sum<<endl;
}



Compile-time error: Possible missing ; on line 6

The other problem with posting that here is somebody's probably going to show how you can write that whole thing in 20 bytes or something :P

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Postby Hammer » Tue May 08, 2007 1:31 am UTC

SpitValve wrote:Compile-time error: Possible missing ; on line 6


Line 8 has an issue also, although the compiler wouldn't catch it. :wink:
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Postby Akira » Tue May 08, 2007 1:33 am UTC

Damn.

Well, lucky I didn't try to compile and run it anyway, i'd search for years and never see the missing semicolon.

And yeah, well, it's just an example. Show me how to do it in 20 bytes or wahtever, not like I'll retain it or even use it. <3

Actually... that was my only problem, the semicolons... I'd miss one or two...

Once, I had this program written up. I typed it mostly in one sitting, and didn't compile it until the end... and it didn't compile. I spent 2 more weeks trying to figure out what was wrong, adding, deleting, switching around, changing...

I had forgotten a semicolon some ten lines into the program.
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Postby aldimond » Tue May 08, 2007 1:34 am UTC

Wouldn't the error be more like "unexpected identifier cin", line 7?

Anyhoo, I accept SpitValve's challenge. I am going to write a program that does the same thing in just one byte:

Code: Select all

(


Just like Akira's program, mine fails to compile.
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Postby SpitValve » Tue May 08, 2007 1:35 am UTC

Hammer wrote:Line 8 has an issue also, although the compiler wouldn't catch it. :wink:


I'm trying to figure that out... are you thinking of a wrong type error? Because I think cout sorts that stuff out for you?

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Postby aldimond » Tue May 08, 2007 1:38 am UTC

SpitValve wrote:
Hammer wrote:Line 8 has an issue also, although the compiler wouldn't catch it. :wink:


I'm trying to figure that out... are you thinking of a wrong type error? Because I think cout sorts that stuff out for you?


Line 8 is perfectly correct, as long as you want a program that inputs 2 numbers, disregards the second, doubles the first and prints it back :-P
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Postby Akira » Tue May 08, 2007 1:41 am UTC

Code: Select all

#include <iostream.h>

void main (void)
{
   double num1, num2, sum;
   cout<<"Please enter 2 numbers.";
   cin>>num1>>num2;
   sum=num1+num2;
   cout<<"The sum is "<<sum<<endl;
}


Is that better, almighty Code Checkers?
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Postby aldimond » Tue May 08, 2007 1:49 am UTC

Some spaces for readability would be nice.
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Postby Akira » Tue May 08, 2007 1:52 am UTC

Code: Select all

#include <iostream.h>

void main (void)
{

   double num1, num2, sum;

   cout<<"Please enter 2 numbers.";

   cin>>num1>>num2;

   sum=num1+num2;

   cout<<"The sum is "<<sum<<endl;

}


Is that better, almighty Code Checkers?
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Postby Hammer » Tue May 08, 2007 1:53 am UTC

aldimond wrote:Some spaces for readability would be nice.


You mean like between the operators so it's not all packed together like that? I agree.
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Postby Akira » Tue May 08, 2007 1:54 am UTC

~_~ Fogrive my horrible code.

It worked and I got a perfect 10 on the assignmnet, that's good enough for me. XD
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Postby Hammer » Tue May 08, 2007 1:55 am UTC

Just a small piece of advice: If you're going to call other people morons, NEVER post your own code nearby. :wink:
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Postby aldimond » Tue May 08, 2007 1:55 am UTC

Between the operators, between the lines, between notes in chords, between letters in keywords, between my ears.

It's all about space.

EDIT: What hammer said... even if your code is perfect I will find some stylistic or implementation choice that you made and argue that the opposite choice is the One True Way (even if I actually agree with your choice). This is why I never set foot in the coding forum here, I would never stop posting.
Last edited by aldimond on Tue May 08, 2007 1:57 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Akira
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Postby Akira » Tue May 08, 2007 1:56 am UTC

Hammer wrote:Just a small piece of advice: If you're going to call other people morons, NEVER post your own code nearby. :wink:


I take my comfort from the fact that thiers is a million times worse. Y'all can pick mine apart however much you want.
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Postby stuck » Tue May 08, 2007 4:30 am UTC

I deal with computer user error on a day-to-day basis. At least I'm no longer answering phones in Tech Support.


I still do.

In keeping with the theme of this post, though, I guess the funniest/weirdest thing i hear from clients is "Can you see what I am doing on my computer?!". It usually comes from older guys. You know, the ones looking at pr0n. Not naive as such, just damned funny.
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