Whats your voicemail/answering machine message?

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4=5
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Postby 4=5 » Mon May 14, 2007 3:41 am UTC

mine was tshhhpskshshshscraclepopshhhh

then it was beep... beep... beep beep beepbeepbeepbeepbeep

then it was
help they forgot to let me out of my cage this morning please leave a message so that I can finaly escape.

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RealGrouchy
Nobody Misses Me As Much As Meaux.
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Postby RealGrouchy » Tue May 15, 2007 3:57 am UTC

Fluff wrote:
Vandole wrote:My brother's was Patrick Stewart saying "It sounds like a telephone ringing... but where is the receiver?" (From a very odd ST:TNG episode)

Oooo, was that the one where Data is dreaming? And he opens his chest to find an old telephone there !!

If I were to use any quote from that episode for a voicemail message, it would be Riker saying "Will someone pick up the goddamn phone!?!" (or however he put it).

Heh heh.

- RG>
Jack Saladin wrote:etc., lock'd
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:At least he has the decency to REMOVE THE GAP BETWEEN HIS QUOTES....
Sungura wrote:I don't really miss him. At all. He was pretty grouchy.

Catastrophicrevolution
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Answering machine message

Postby Catastrophicrevolution » Wed May 16, 2007 3:08 pm UTC

My current one is "Hey it's Teri leave a message" said fast and muffled.

Yawn, you say? Well, my name's Mike, not Teri. I'm currently in the midst of actively perpetuating a case of mistaken identity on the part of a girl who thinks she's corresponding amorously with someone who works with her, but in fact I have no damn idea who she is and live on the other side of the country.

This has gone on for over a week now, and despite several slip-ups and near calls - including me sending her an sms while the real Teri was sitting right in front of her, at his computer, not looking at her, and then again while he was talking to her father, with no phone in sight - she is none the wiser.

She's either very, very stupid, or knows she has the wrong guy, and is playing along. Given several pieces of evidence, including;

1. The content and appearance of her Myspace page
2. The fact that she HAS a Myspace page
3. Her inarticulate writing, and
4. The fact that she emailed me a picture of her arse in a g-string

I'm going with the former.

I think the best way to end this charade is phone sex, followed by an email confessing everything and saying that I've fallen in love with her, and want to keep corresponding.

-Mike

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Belial
A terrible sound heard from a distance
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Postby Belial » Wed May 16, 2007 3:10 pm UTC

Catastrophic: Magnificent.
addams wrote:A drunk neighbor is better than a sober Belial.


They/them

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PatrickRsGhost
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Postby PatrickRsGhost » Wed May 16, 2007 3:24 pm UTC

Mine is pretty straight-forward: "Hi this is Patrick. PLease leave a message and I will get back to you" blah blah blah.

Although I am seeing some good ideas here.

My friend once did something similar to some messages here. He did it on his parents' answering machine.

Friend: "Hello?"
Me: Hey Bobby.
Friend: "Hello?!"
Me (yelling): it's Patrick!
Friend: "Leave a message."

I think it lasted one or two days.

My mom used to say the cats couldn't come to the phone, and their paws can't handle the receiver.

I'm thinking of doing a message involving raptors, or else referencing ICHCB: "Mah kitteh tells me you has a message 4 me. Pls 2 be speaking clearly. I hopes it's about mah bukkit."
PRG

An important message for you:

010000100110010100100000011100110
111010101110010011001010010000001
110100011011110010000001100101011
000010111010000100000011110010110
111101110101011100100010000001100
010011000010110001101101111011011
1000101110

Catastrophicrevolution
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Rejection line

Postby Catastrophicrevolution » Wed May 16, 2007 3:32 pm UTC

I just remembered the Reject Line.

Within Australia, if you call the number 0419 317 446 (+61419 317 446 from overseas, plus country code probably and so forth) it goes straight to voicemail, and the message goes like this;

"Hi, you've reached the rejection line. Unfortunately, the person who gave you this number never wants to see you again. We'd like to take this opportunity to officially reject you. Happy New Year."

Perhaps I can use that in the resolution of this deception.

-Mike

Catastrophicrevolution
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test

Postby Catastrophicrevolution » Wed May 16, 2007 3:55 pm UTC

Just testing my new signature. It's not my arse, by the way. Explanation in earlier post.

-Mike.

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no-genius
Seemed like a good idea at the time
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Postby no-genius » Wed May 16, 2007 4:07 pm UTC

the League of (non-extraordinary) Gentleman wrote:Hello Dave? Is Dave There?
No, there's no-one called Dave here
Hello Dave? My wife wants to use your toilet, etc.


I put that on my mobile. It's probably still there.
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anotherangel
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Postby anotherangel » Wed May 16, 2007 4:18 pm UTC

we don't have an answer machine at home.

and I have no idea about the one on my phone, which means it's probably just the default.

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MFHodge
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Postby MFHodge » Wed May 16, 2007 4:28 pm UTC

Outgoing messages that are longer than 3 seconds should be banned. Especially annoying are the default greeting ones like:

Hello, you have reached the voice mail box for 9-1-9-3-4-9-6-1-3-3. To send a numeric page please press 1 now. To leave a voice message please press 2 or wait for the tone. [long pause] [tone].

If it was always the same digit to skip right to voice message, it wouldn't be so bad, but it isn't. My sister gets accidental numeric pages all the time because her's is backwards from most.

Zach
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Re: test

Postby Zach » Wed May 16, 2007 4:48 pm UTC

Catastrophicrevolution wrote:Just testing my new signature. It's not my arse, by the way. Explanation in earlier post.

-Mike.


Oh, dear.

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Belial
A terrible sound heard from a distance
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Postby Belial » Wed May 16, 2007 4:53 pm UTC

Things that are deleted: That sig.
addams wrote:A drunk neighbor is better than a sober Belial.


They/them

Catastrophicrevolution
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Sig

Postby Catastrophicrevolution » Thu May 17, 2007 1:30 am UTC

Right. Sorry, never really use forums. Was unaware of etiquette.

-Mike.


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