There's a monster in my closet

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

macroarray
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2011 2:13 pm UTC

There's a monster in my closet

Postby macroarray » Mon Feb 14, 2011 5:56 pm UTC

What do I do? I tried turning on the lights but that didn't work.

On another, unrelated, but more important issue: I think I have food poisoning. Are these things usually ignorable and go away after a while, or should I actually get a doctor?

User avatar
PAstrychef
for all intimate metaphysical encounters
Posts: 3050
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2008 6:24 pm UTC

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby PAstrychef » Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:09 pm UTC

macroarray wrote:What do I do? I tried turning on the lights but that didn't work.

On another, unrelated, but more important issue: I think I have food poisoning. Are these things usually ignorable and go away after a while, or should I actually get a doctor?

Moved from Dear SB
Don’t become a well-rounded person. Well rounded people are smooth and dull. Become a thoroughly spiky person. Grow spikes from every angle. Stick in their throats like a puffer fish.

User avatar
Levi
Posts: 1294
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:12 am UTC

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Levi » Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:55 pm UTC

For the monster problem, there are a lot of solutions. Firstly, get someone else to take care of it. If that's not possible, you could try opening the door a crack and placing a bucket of water on top of it. Any other sort of trap will also work. You could even block the door with a chair.

User avatar
Triangle_Man
WINNING
Posts: 1500
Joined: Sat May 02, 2009 8:41 pm UTC
Location: CANADA

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Triangle_Man » Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:59 pm UTC

I'm fairly sure that the food poisoning should be your first priority at this point.
I really should be working right now, but somehow I don't have the energy.

The Mighty Thesaurus wrote:My moral system allows me to bitch slap you for typing that.

User avatar
SecondTalon
SexyTalon
Posts: 26510
Joined: Sat May 05, 2007 2:10 pm UTC
Location: Louisville, Kentucky, USA, Mars. HA!
Contact:

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby SecondTalon » Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:59 pm UTC

Blankets are all you need. Monsters can't get through. Just stick your nose out (monsters have no idea what noses are) so you can breathe and you'll be fine.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

User avatar
Levi
Posts: 1294
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:12 am UTC

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Levi » Mon Feb 14, 2011 8:00 pm UTC

I forgot to mention that night-lights are excellent monster deterrents.

User avatar
the_bandersnatch
Actually not so frumious.
Posts: 939
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 11:46 am UTC
Location: on a bed in a room inside a TV in a hotel room in a hotel on a Monopoly board

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby the_bandersnatch » Mon Feb 14, 2011 8:33 pm UTC

Don't listen to the others, there's only one solution to your monster problem and that's to take off and nuke the site from orbit.


Also, food poisoning: depends on how bad it is, if it's at the stage where you can't even keep water down without vomiting you need to see a doctor, post-haste.
In girum imus nocte, et consumimur igni

User avatar
podbaydoor
Posts: 7548
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 4:16 am UTC
Location: spaceship somewhere out there

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby podbaydoor » Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:02 pm UTC

The night light has helped me with my monster problems. I'd recommend it. Bonus points if it's a cool one that projects a picture of the galaxy on the ceiling or something similar.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

User avatar
Von Haus
Posts: 757
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:15 pm UTC
Location: Probably somewhere he shouldn't be...

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Von Haus » Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:13 pm UTC

Iron poker, definitely go with the iron fire-poker.

As for food poisoning, meh, if it's a little bit of the shits and vomitting you should be fine just keep your fluids up, if it's more serious going to a doctor can't hurt. Or at least some imodium pills to curb the former problem. (Bear in mind my policy for gone-off food is, "meh, if I boil or fry it enough it won't kill me.")

In other news it's probably not a good thing that I just had to google "Anadin" to figure out what the pills in my drawer do. God knows where the original box is. :P

In other other news, I should really sort through this draw and figure out what's in there, at least I now know I have plenty of gauze, just not where it came from...
A bee sees Dee 'effigy' Hitch, I 'Jay' kill, amen OP, queue arresty UV double, you ex-wizard!

User avatar
firechicago
Posts: 621
Joined: Mon Jan 11, 2010 12:27 pm UTC
Location: One time, I put a snowglobe in the microwave and pushed "Hot Dog"

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby firechicago » Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:21 pm UTC

Use the Pratchett method. See, if you cover your head with a blanket, the monsters doesn't know that you aren't there. But if you throw a blanket over the monster's head, then the monster doesn't know if it's there, which throws it into a terrible, paralyzing existential quandary.

User avatar
ArgonV
Posts: 1792
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 8:08 pm UTC
Location: The Netherlands

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby ArgonV » Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:33 pm UTC

the_bandersnatch wrote:Also, food poisoning: depends on how bad it is, if it's at the stage where you can't even keep water down without vomiting you need to see a doctor, post-haste.

I don't agree. I had food poisoning like that once from eating a quiche that had gone bad (so poisonous eggs, cream and cheese), woke up 3 hours later, vomiting and unable to keep anything down and had a spiking fever. 6 hours after that I could drink, 12 hours after that I was eating again and later that night I even went clubbing (but didn't drink any alcohol). All without help from a doctor.

User avatar
kriel
Posts: 922
Joined: Thu Feb 07, 2008 2:58 pm UTC
Location: Somewhere I'm not.
Contact:

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby kriel » Tue Feb 15, 2011 4:01 am UTC

Just because you didn't go to a doctor and turned out fine doesn't mean that everyone who gets sick doesn't need to go to a doctor to be fine.

That said, if you can tough it out without the pills, it's probably not a bad idea. Let your immune system tough it out, and only call in the big guns when you... well... need big guns.

sje46
Posts: 4730
Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 4:41 am UTC
Location: New Hampshire

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby sje46 » Tue Feb 15, 2011 5:50 am UTC

This is why my dad kept fully loaded assault rifles under my bed.
General_Norris: Taking pride in your nation is taking pride in the division of humanity.
Pirate.Bondage: Let's get married. Right now.

User avatar
SurgicalSteel
Posts: 1926
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2010 4:18 pm UTC
Location: DMV, USA

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby SurgicalSteel » Tue Feb 15, 2011 6:24 am UTC

kriel wrote:and only call in the big guns when you... well... need big guns.
You're talking about for the monsters right?
"There's spray paint on the teleprompter
Anchorman screams that he's seen a monster (mayday)
There's blood stains on his shirt (mayday)
They say that he's gone berserk."
--Flobots "Mayday"

User avatar
Magnanimous
Madmanananimous
Posts: 3491
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:11 pm UTC
Location: Land of Hipsters and Rain (LOHAR)

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Magnanimous » Tue Feb 15, 2011 7:10 am UTC

I second ST's idea, and also recommend using a snorkel for an air supply. (Or a rebreather, if you have one.)

User avatar
Angua
Don't call her Delphine.
Posts: 5928
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:42 pm UTC
Location: UK/[St. Kitts and] Nevis Occasionally, I migrate to the US for a bit

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Angua » Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:14 am UTC

My advice - definitely go to the doctor if you've been throwing up for more than 24 hours, and haven't been able to keep anything down at all. If you haven't been getting in sleep in that time, probably go sooner or you'll get pretty exhausted. Try and have at least a sip of water after each time.
Crabtree's bludgeon: “no set of mutually inconsistent observations can exist for which some human intellect cannot conceive a coherent explanation, however complicated”
GNU Terry Pratchett

User avatar
Dthen
Still hasn't told us what comes after D
Posts: 553
Joined: Sat Jan 02, 2010 6:35 pm UTC
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Dthen » Tue Feb 15, 2011 11:58 am UTC

Right, but what if they can't get out of the room to see a doctor due to the monster?
Dthen wrote:I AM NOT A CAT.

User avatar
Vapour
Posts: 628
Joined: Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:19 am UTC
Location: Forest and Hills Zone.

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Vapour » Tue Feb 15, 2011 12:17 pm UTC

Dthen wrote:Right, but what if they can't get out of the room to see a doctor due to the monster?


Do a Kansas City Shuffle.

User avatar
theGoldenCalf;
Posts: 257
Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2010 7:16 am UTC
Location: Elbow deep inside the borderline

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby theGoldenCalf; » Tue Feb 15, 2011 12:53 pm UTC

Pfft. My monster came to terms with it's sexuality ages ago.
それは彼女が言ったことだ!

User avatar
Dthen
Still hasn't told us what comes after D
Posts: 553
Joined: Sat Jan 02, 2010 6:35 pm UTC
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Dthen » Tue Feb 15, 2011 1:04 pm UTC

Your monster? Is that some kind of euphemism?
Dthen wrote:I AM NOT A CAT.

User avatar
Endless Mike
Posts: 3204
Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:04 pm UTC

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Endless Mike » Tue Feb 15, 2011 3:22 pm UTC

I don't think so. His location is "Chained to the bedpost."

He might be colluding with the monster in your closet.

macroarray
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2011 2:13 pm UTC

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby macroarray » Thu Feb 17, 2011 4:15 am UTC

I thought it was food poisoning from eating bad cafeteria foods, but extreme dizziness and migraines aren't common food poisoning symptoms according to the vague definitions of WebMD. I even accidentally slept on my teddy bear last night :( from dizziness.

Darn, I have a test on gene regulation tomorrow, and I'm dizzy. This will end in tears, I know it.

User avatar
Triangle_Man
WINNING
Posts: 1500
Joined: Sat May 02, 2009 8:41 pm UTC
Location: CANADA

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Triangle_Man » Thu Feb 17, 2011 4:56 am UTC

Oh yeah. And in terms of getting to sleep and dealing with 'monsters', I find that listening to any form of music helps me relax, possibly because it drowns out noise from other parts of the house.

If the music shuts off, then I get really anxious and find it impossible to go to sleep.
I really should be working right now, but somehow I don't have the energy.

The Mighty Thesaurus wrote:My moral system allows me to bitch slap you for typing that.

User avatar
BoomFrog
Posts: 1069
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 5:59 am UTC
Location: Seattle

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby BoomFrog » Thu Feb 17, 2011 5:16 am UTC

You can generally "call in sick" for a test and take it again at a later makeup date. This works far better if you ask ahead of time instead if asking to make up the test after you do poorly on it because your sick.
"Everything I need to know about parenting I learned from cooking. Don't be afraid to experiment, and eat your mistakes." - Cronos

User avatar
Angua
Don't call her Delphine.
Posts: 5928
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:42 pm UTC
Location: UK/[St. Kitts and] Nevis Occasionally, I migrate to the US for a bit

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Angua » Thu Feb 17, 2011 8:21 am UTC

macroarray wrote:I thought it was food poisoning from eating bad cafeteria foods, but extreme dizziness and migraines aren't common food poisoning symptoms according to the vague definitions of WebMD. I even accidentally slept on my teddy bear last night :( from dizziness.

Darn, I have a test on gene regulation tomorrow, and I'm dizzy. This will end in tears, I know it.
The extreme dizziness could be causing you to vomit and have migraines (or it could be the other way around - depends on what started first and how much you threw up). In any case, you've been ill for quite a while now, so I would definitely go see a doctor as soon as you can.
Crabtree's bludgeon: “no set of mutually inconsistent observations can exist for which some human intellect cannot conceive a coherent explanation, however complicated”
GNU Terry Pratchett

MisterCheif
Posts: 253
Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2009 1:24 am UTC

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby MisterCheif » Thu Feb 17, 2011 3:16 pm UTC

firechicago wrote:Use the Pratchett method. See, if you cover your head with a blanket, the monsters doesn't know that you aren't there. But if you throw a blanket over the monster's head, then the monster doesn't know if it's there, which throws it into a terrible, paralyzing existential quandary.

Darn! I was going to post that!

The iron poker mentioned by someone else could also be seen as a Discworld reference.
I can haz people?
lulzfish wrote:Exactly. Playing God is a good, old-fashioned American tradition. And you wouldn't want to ruin tradition. Unless you hate America. And that would make you a Communist.

User avatar
Von Haus
Posts: 757
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:15 pm UTC
Location: Probably somewhere he shouldn't be...

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Von Haus » Thu Feb 17, 2011 4:15 pm UTC

MisterCheif wrote:The iron poker mentioned by someone else could also be seen as a Discworld reference.

Yeah it was, I just felt like leaving it subtle. Probably quite a bit too subtle in this case. :P
A bee sees Dee 'effigy' Hitch, I 'Jay' kill, amen OP, queue arresty UV double, you ex-wizard!

User avatar
PAstrychef
for all intimate metaphysical encounters
Posts: 3050
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2008 6:24 pm UTC

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby PAstrychef » Thu Feb 17, 2011 9:02 pm UTC

It sounds like dehydration is setting in to exacerbate the other symptoms you're showing. Please take yourself to the doctors ASAP.
Don’t become a well-rounded person. Well rounded people are smooth and dull. Become a thoroughly spiky person. Grow spikes from every angle. Stick in their throats like a puffer fish.

Korrente
Posts: 164
Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2009 5:44 am UTC

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Korrente » Fri Feb 18, 2011 6:45 pm UTC

After watching Tremors 2, I was concerned that the monsters could see in infra-red (or whatever it is those things see in) -monsters do live in the dark most of time, you know- so I could only leave my nose out for a brief period. But then I couldn't move it back under quickly because what if they heard me? But oh god my bed is heating up and they'll see me through the covers. I didn't want a night light, so I put an infra-red bulb in it to blind them. It really works, trust me.

User avatar
Menacing Spike
Posts: 2982
Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:25 pm UTC
Location: Fighting the Zombie.

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Menacing Spike » Fri Feb 18, 2011 9:21 pm UTC

Don't let him come out from the closet!

Image

(I fully expect a jesus and fig tree joke)

User avatar
Jahoclave
sourmilk's moderator
Posts: 4790
Joined: Thu Oct 25, 2007 8:34 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby Jahoclave » Sat Feb 19, 2011 7:38 am UTC

the_bandersnatch wrote:Don't listen to the others, there's only one solution to your monster problem and that's to take off and nuke the site from orbit.


What, and leave the rest of the planet intake for the monster to escape to? That's narrow minded old school thinking that. You have to turn the planet into molten slag and then use a gravity tug to slam it into the sun. Then slam the sun into a black hole. On the plus side, you can now run your hyperspace bypass right through there, no hassle.

User avatar
CHR1110
Posts: 201
Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2010 6:41 am UTC
Location: The Horizon.

Re: There's a monster in my closet

Postby CHR1110 » Sat Feb 19, 2011 7:52 am UTC

sje46 wrote:This is why my dad kept fully loaded assault rifles under my bed.


Funny, I had shotguns.
Image


Return to “General”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 37 guests