Uniform fetish advice

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DrZiro
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Uniform fetish advice

Postby DrZiro » Thu Feb 17, 2011 7:36 pm UTC

There are these girls I know, who have a thing for uniforms. It goes a bit beyond the rather common admiration for men in uniforms, to the point where the uniform seemingly is more important than the person in it. Being somewhat opportunist, I of course want to get me a nice looking uniform to impress them.

Now the problem is, when I ask them which kind of uniforms are the most attractive, they are all touchingly agreed: Nazi uniforms. Specifically, the black SS ones. They assure me that they certainly have no nazi sympathies, that it's purely the visual appeal of the uniforms that counts, and maybe an association with authority and power. But even so, I wouldn't feel to comfortable wearing a nazi uniform - mainly because they are the evulz, but also because, well, they lost, and losing isn't very sexy.

So, ye all-knowing forum people, what uniforms are there that are sexier than those SS ones? I would particularly like English ones, because I happen to like England, but any origin will do.

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iChef
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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby iChef » Thu Feb 17, 2011 7:49 pm UTC

I would say just get a black SS uniform and remove any insignias or swastikas from it. I saw a band perform a couple years ago where all 3 guys were all wearing something suspiciously close to a nazi uniform, with red armbands but no swastikas on it. I don't think anyone else really made the connection.

Other than that I've noticed some people wearing uniforms similar to what Fidel Castro used to wear in the 60's with the army cap, chicks seem to dig that. Or you can never go wrong with a Power Rangers uniform, go with the red ranger to show authority.
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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby felltir » Thu Feb 17, 2011 7:50 pm UTC

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Menacing Spike
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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby Menacing Spike » Thu Feb 17, 2011 8:03 pm UTC

Image


Or a Darth Vader costume? Without the silly chest-buttonish things?
It depends on the women and their tastes, of course. You couuuld make some puns on her pushing your buttons.

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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby DrZiro » Thu Feb 17, 2011 10:14 pm UTC

A Vader costume might be a little too outlandish, but I quite like the empire guy idea. It's clearly supposed to look authoritative and a little menacing. Unfortunately they're not really that scary in the films - in most scenes they're either getting shot by the rebels by the dozen, or shaking of fear of Vader.
This idea might appeal to the more geeky people, but perhaps not so much to the more humourless gothy ones.

In general I'm pretty sure black is good, but I don't know of that many groups who have had black uniforms. (Black military uniforms, that is. Priests are not quite the same.) Some kind of police might also work, but I'm pretty sure a SWAT outfit would not be the right thing.

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CHR1110
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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby CHR1110 » Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:50 pm UTC

You could also look into Russian cavalry officer uniforms. They're a very dark blue, and often had black trenchcoats, similar to the Nazi SS officers. Plus, the Russians almost always win, so you don't have to look like the losing team!
Image

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PAstrychef
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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby PAstrychef » Fri Feb 18, 2011 1:26 am UTC

It may well be that part of the attraction is the knowledge that the Nazis were evil bastards, and wanting a big bad guy to make them do things they would otherwise reject. People who fetishize good guy uniforms are often found playing out a rescue scenario, where bad guy uniforms in general lend themselves to scenarios of being overpowered and forced.
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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby Kithplana » Fri Feb 18, 2011 1:33 am UTC

I'm just here to say that I first read the title of this thread as unicorn fetish advice.

That is all.

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Hope_
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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby Hope_ » Fri Feb 18, 2011 2:26 am UTC

Kithplana wrote:I'm just here to say that I first read the title of this thread as unicorn fetish advice.

That is all.

I did the same thing. And was slightly disappointed. Not sure what that says about me.
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OBrien
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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby OBrien » Fri Feb 18, 2011 2:37 am UTC

Same and slightly disappointed about unicorns... But actually on topic:
After selling a lot of army surplus stuff at work (and buying: my zombie-hunter outfit is now perfect) I've noticed that a hell of a lot of uniforms have traces of the Nazi uniform in them (because it was, after all, based on the standard military uniform at the time) but just in different colours. So if you want clothes that have that look but without the evil connotations, shop around army surplus stores, and choose your colours as you will.

EDIT: And just noticed you wanted as sharpish as possible: I'd go for airforce stuff. I, personally, preffer to wear greens, so I go for army clothes, but the airforces are usually decked out in smarter, sharper outfits in a lovely dark blue.
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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby Jorpho » Wed Feb 23, 2011 12:13 am UTC

Start with a large piece of material from a single source, and make sure your tools are sharpened. If you work slowly and carefully, and do a good polishing job, you should wind up with a uniform fetish.

oh wait

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Menacing Spike
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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby Menacing Spike » Wed Feb 23, 2011 12:26 am UTC

Jorpho wrote:Start with a large piece of material from a single source, and make sure your tools are sharpened. If you work slowly and carefully, and do a good polishing job, you should wind up with a uniform fetish.

oh wait


Image
ohwait

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Midnight
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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby Midnight » Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:04 am UTC

CHR1110 wrote:You could also look into Russian cavalry officer uniforms. They're a very dark blue, and often had black trenchcoats, similar to the Nazi SS officers. Plus, the Russians almost always win, so you don't have to look like the losing team!

Plus, the Russians almost always win, so you don't have to look like the losing team!

the Russians almost always win

...I dunno if I'd call Russia the "winner" of, say, any war after 1900. Maybe even 1850, but I honestly forget who won the Crimean war.
As far as death tolls in the past two hundred years or so, I'm pretty sure Russia caps the list.
uhhhh fuck.

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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby Korrente » Wed Feb 23, 2011 5:35 am UTC

I love the Nazi uniform. Watching Inglorious Basterds (the new one) the other day I all I could think about was how sharp they looked. Then I felt bad. But, I would wear one. Especially if it got me laid. I say if you can somehow find one, go for it. I mean, you can't get much sexier than black, red, and polished silver on top of a leather trenchcoat.

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Menacing Spike
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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby Menacing Spike » Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:31 am UTC

Midnight wrote:...I dunno if I'd call Russia the "winner" of, say, any war after 1900. Maybe even 1850, but I honestly forget who won the Crimean war.
As far as death tolls in the past two hundred years or so, I'm pretty sure Russia caps the list.


Hey don't diss Russia. Zerg are based on macro, you know.

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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby Minchandre » Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:33 am UTC

Kithplana wrote:I'm just here to say that I first read the title of this thread as unicorn fetish advice.

That is all.


That's okay, I thought I first he wanted advice about fetishes that everyone has the same way.

As for the problem, WWI British officer uniforms have a lot of similarity to what you're looking for, though usually in olive (and occasionally with khaki pants), which I suspect just isn't quite the same.

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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby bigglesworth » Wed Feb 23, 2011 12:12 pm UTC

For English uniforms, you should consider the Black Brunswickers.
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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby Hemmers » Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:25 pm UTC

OBrien wrote:but the airforces are usually decked out in smarter, sharper outfits in a lovely dark blue.


Really? The RAF is a rather light Cossack Blue (which they had in droves when the RAF was formed because Russia didn't come out to play the second half).
If you're going for a dark one, then obviously Naval uniforms in Navy blue, but I suppose if we're looking for equivalents to Black SS uniforms, the RAF ones can be a bit less flashy - usually less brass buttons and shiny stuff even if it's a lighter colour.

But yeah, all the military uniforms come from basically the same pattern. Apart from small differences in cut, the biggest differences are the colour, whether you scale your headwear to ridiculous proportions (c.f. North Korea) and basically accessories - gold braid, medals, pomp and circumstance (c.f. Italy), brass or matt/felt buttons, assoicated metalwork, etc, etc.

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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby Midnight » Thu Feb 24, 2011 2:36 am UTC

Menacing Spike wrote:
Midnight wrote:...I dunno if I'd call Russia the "winner" of, say, any war after 1900. Maybe even 1850, but I honestly forget who won the Crimean war.
As far as death tolls in the past two hundred years or so, I'm pretty sure Russia caps the list.


Hey don't diss Russia. Zerg are based on macro, you know.

their supply is way lower than it should be. they ton a ton of room for expansion but nothing's producing.
If Russia had the density of Japan... jesus fuckin' christ there'd be like a trillion of them.
uhhhh fuck.

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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby Gears » Thu Feb 24, 2011 3:51 am UTC

uniforms.jpg

Point me in the direction of these women. (Me on left, Dad on right)
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Re: Uniform fetish advice

Postby Coffee » Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:30 am UTC

I was about to say! I've been in uniform for 11 years. Why don't I know any of these women?
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