[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby poxic » Thu Feb 04, 2010 1:04 am UTC

Yeah, my body issues are mostly shame about being hairy. Women in this culture are judged more harshly for not being clean-shaven (or waxed) than for just about any other "imperfection". Having central European genetics in me somewhere, and an age-related aversion to all the fecking hassle of de-hairing myself, this is an issue. >.<
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby suffer-cait » Thu Feb 04, 2010 3:15 am UTC

/me has been skinny dipping
/me is comfortable naked around friends if they are comfortable with it
/me is sorry and will leave now
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby LL Cool J » Thu Feb 04, 2010 3:21 am UTC

Don't be sorry! I'm fairly comfortable too, if the situation is right.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby crickets » Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:10 am UTC

Heh, it all depends on how tired i am.
Proof: Once upon a time, at about four AM after i hadn't slept in two days, my neighbor in residence and a few other girls on my floor convinced me to participate in topless photos, with strategically placed hands. This was when i had many, many visible scars, and i still did it cause i was pretty much dead in the brain. And then i had to help a drunk girl do up her bra. Then the boys participated, so that was... slightly more comfortable-making. Then there was the episode with the drinking game....

As it stands, my roommate has seen me naked a /lot/. Mostly cause i'm always hanging out naked and she likes to come in my room without knocking. I wander around Denby's house naked all the time, or at least pants-less.

I wouldn't say i'm comfortable naked in large groups, but most of the time if there are other naked people and everyone assures me that they won't find me disgusting due to my extreme tubbiness, i'm pretty comfy.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby sophyturtle » Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:24 am UTC

I have been retty comfortable with different states of undress for a long time. At 15 I went to a women's music festival with my mom and her wife and sent most of one day in my bikini bottoms. It was kinda cool standing in a pond topless talking to a naked woman about her tattoos and her grand kids.

Bodies are pretty neat, and for a good portion of high school I spent time making it so my friends would at least feel comfortable skinny dipping with me in mom's hot tub. I was very proud of a friend of mine who would not even look at herself naked in the mirror when she took off her towel and hopped in with nothing on.

It can be scary, but once you are naked it can be very pleasant if you don't think about the fact other people are wearing clothing.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Rinsaikeru » Thu Feb 04, 2010 7:06 am UTC

My comfort level regarding being naked has changed a lot over the years for me to be as comfortable with it as I am now. I get more and more comfortable in my own skin as I get older for some reason. In highschool and even into university I always covered up when I changed--working as a camp leader during that time I realized that my own body issues were making the little girls more self conscious when we were changing for swim time, so I deliberately stopped being bashful about it. It worked really well too.

(Mostly cuz stalls are limited and if we had to wait for every kid to change in one we'd be there all day--so not only good body image stuff but efficient!!)

Now, I find I'm completely comfortable changing though I wouldn't say I hang around anywhere naked--except bubble baths and my bedroom. I've changed in mixed groups for dance events--though with haste...oh no costume change go! (Which means you change so fast you were never actually naked...)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby natraj » Thu Feb 04, 2010 12:56 pm UTC

In high school I was totally odd because I felt really, horribly self-conscious about changing in front of people -- even more so than the actual being naked part. One of my friends had parties a lot where people would hang out in the hot tub but clothes were not allowed in his hot tub (hanging out in or around it was, obviously, not required, but if you were gonna get in you had to be naked) and for a long time I wouldn't get in at all, but then when I started getting in, I would go to the bathroom, take off my clothes, then go outside and get in to the hot tub. Then get out, put my towel back on, and go back to the bathroom to put my clothes back on. Everyone thought I was very amusing that way.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Jessica » Thu Feb 04, 2010 1:11 pm UTC

So, it's been almost a month since the operation, and I'm doing pretty damn well, I must say. The pain is very very low, and only generally comes around from awkward positioning of my body, or contact with the nipples. It still makes me happy to see myself in the mirror. Makes me feel like a real* woman.

Sorry for the topic change, but the stripping was getting uncomfortable for me. It's silly, but it makes me feel bad that I really am not comfortable being naked. The only person I've ever been comfortable naked in front of is my current girlfriend. Even past people I've had sex with I didn't feel comfortable really naked in front of them.

*by that I mean, I am a real woman, I just feel like my outside matches how I feel my inside does
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Zohar » Thu Feb 04, 2010 1:20 pm UTC

I'm glad to hear you're happy with your boobs. I understand the shame about nakedness thing. I was incredibly worried before I joined the military, because of joint showers. I was especially afraid I might get an erection or something, but that never happened. It's good you found someone you feel comfortable in front of, Jessica.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby LL Cool J » Thu Feb 04, 2010 1:23 pm UTC

That's awesome, Jess! Breasts are kind of fun.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Jessica » Thu Feb 04, 2010 1:31 pm UTC

They are pretty fun, that's for sure :)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby crowey » Thu Feb 04, 2010 1:39 pm UTC

yay for new boobs! I'd wanted to ask but I wasn't sure if it was prying a bit...Anyway, I'm glad the op went well and hopefully the rest of the healing will be quick.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Sungura » Thu Feb 04, 2010 1:41 pm UTC

Yay Jessica! :) *hugs*

Yeah...I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable naked in front of people. When I was giving my kitty, Misty, a bath one time (once he got cancer he started to not care for his fur so much) he clawed the side of my breast and made a HUGE and decently deep scratch running from the side up close to the i forget the name of the region by the nipple that has a different colour to it. I washed it out best I could, trying to not scream (that did really hurt, the first time I have ever really felt anything in that area! 'Twas not pleasant!)but it did get infected sadly I am pretty sure because I kept it bandaged all the time, or at nights trying to let it breathe some it would get rubbed against my shirt and get little fuzz bits in it and such. It ended up the way I got it to heal was by sleeping topless. And...even with the door to my room closed, since I sometimes listen to music or whatnot, I don't always hear knocks on my door, and I had my brother and my mom both walk in on me totally topless a few times and they always freaked out. So...yeah. Not exactly great. I feel a little better about my body since then - at least the top half - but that is just if it is me and no one else. Being self-concious to start with, and then having the privacy invaded and then subsequent freak-outs, not really that great for naked self esteem.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Jessica » Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:04 pm UTC

doogly wrote:On a scale of Mr Rogers to Fascism, how mean do you think we're being?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby blue_eyedspacemonkey » Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:14 pm UTC

12. Never let yourself or anyone that you know be a in any type of business (bar, store, restaurant, gas station)
What does that even mean? I don't think it's English. Also, yes. Very anger inducing.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Sungura » Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:19 pm UTC

It seemed like the blog commented on things? I went looking for the original. I found I was wrong....holy moly. Spoiler'd in case of triggers.

Spoiler:
I mean, some good ideas there for rape prevention (yes, try to be aware of your surroundings, yes if you sit in your car lock the doors, yes if you walk at night try to stay in lighted areas, stuff like that, duh you should try to keep yourself safe, sucks that anyone has to worry about it, but we do) but how on earth is it just at women and not everyone? And some of those are just stupid. Like
Women are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT, it may get you raped, or killed
Um, what? Because we know guys can't be sympathetic at all.

the physical defence stuff?
The number one, best target you can aim for is, of course, the groin. A good knee strike to the groin will ruin his day.
Um, dude, what do you think a guy would likely expect? That is everyone's first instinct. And also, adrenaline, etc, you quite likely might not get a reaction at all. There is slim to never a one-strike-fixes-all solution. And FYI - groin strikes hurt women too. And, if the effect is to get them to fold/double over, you actually want to strike above the groin at belt level for guys, slightly below that for gals, due to hip structure/centre of balance. And if you are going to knee them, why not just go for the pubic bone? They don't even say how to use your knee. There are ways to do it so you don't hurt yourself.

*rage* at this:
(This sounds gross, but the alternative is your fault if you do not act.)
Um. NO.


Umm...and totally different topic question...
Spoiler:
So I think I noted before when talking about the cup I managed to half-rip my hymen by accident. Is it...normal to still be sore, like, today? 4 days later? If it wasn't so slushy outside I'd be wearing skirts because my jeans - the pressure from them when I sit even, makes things acheysting hurt. Should I be concerned? Anything I can do to help? I tried taking a few different pain meds I have around, none seemed to help at all other than make me sleepy.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby crickets » Thu Feb 04, 2010 8:20 pm UTC

In regards to that list: It's not so much that all of the tips are bad, many of them are just phrased in an extremely misogynistic manner. The first few are actually pretty legit safety tips for anyone who lives in a high crime area. You are more likely to be attacked if you appear vulnerable, if you go places where predatory people are likely to be, and if you don't notice things around you. A lot of the car related tips aren't terrible either, especially if you're like me and don't know what to do if your car breaks down.... I mean, yeah, some of them are pretty hideous, but the comments made by the blogger make it sound a whole lot worse. The points Sungura made pretty much sum up that yeah, it was obviously written by a dude who has scare-tactics on the brain, which isn't really the best method.

Also, @Sungura:
Spoiler:
The first time i engaged in digital penetration with someone, i was in pain for two or three days and i didn't even have a hymen at that point, i don't think. Hot water bottles/hot pads are your friend, just not too hot. Nice warm bath etc... From the sounds of things, your hymen is pretty substantial, so it may be sore for a while. Take some midol/pamprin/sharkweek pain killers, and if it still hurts after a week go see your gynocologist, just in case something else down there isn't healing properly.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Sungura » Thu Feb 04, 2010 9:56 pm UTC

crickets wrote:Also, @Sungura:
Spoiler:
The first time i engaged in digital penetration with someone, i was in pain for two or three days and i didn't even have a hymen at that point, i don't think. Hot water bottles/hot pads are your friend, just not too hot. Nice warm bath etc... From the sounds of things, your hymen is pretty substantial, so it may be sore for a while. Take some midol/pamprin/sharkweek pain killers, and if it still hurts after a week go see your gynocologist, just in case something else down there isn't healing properly.

Spoiler:
Yeah, it is. Okay, warm baths and such. I tried those pain killers, didn't help that I could note. I don't have a gyno. :/ I try to avoid doctors at all costs - usually not too hard with my science background. Okay, I'll wait and see. Probably doesn't help that it is still shark week so it is still getting jostled 2x/day.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Cassi » Thu Feb 04, 2010 10:40 pm UTC

To add to that:
Spoiler:
Never particularly had a hymen as far as I can remember, but definitely had general soreness for a couple of days after having sex the first time, and can still have a day of slight soreness if it's been a while, so think that probably is pretty much par for the course for at least a bit, unfortunately. Can't add anything in terms of helping with the pain that crickets hasn't already said though...
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Sungura » Thu Feb 04, 2010 11:44 pm UTC

Spoiler:
Well, thanks. I'll just hope it goes away soon. I like the cup a lot! But this better not happen every shark week I want to use it. :(
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Cassi » Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:07 am UTC

It should definitely improve, especially once you have a few weeks off.

Ugh, I need to get around to making an appointment to get my IUD checked, because I was meant to after 6 weeks and it's been more like 12, and I Shark Week's due like the end of next week, so I should try to get an appointment for the beginning of the week and get it out of the way...really hate doctors though. D:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby suffer-cait » Fri Feb 05, 2010 7:12 am UTC

Sungura wrote:Um, dude, what do you think a guy would likely expect? That is everyone's first instinct. And also, adrenaline, etc, you quite likely might not get a reaction at all.
just as first hand evidence i have totally kicked a guy in the nuts, damn hard, and ran, as fast as i could, in fear of atleast seriously intense pain. only to be tackled from behind by a very angry friend
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Sungura » Fri Feb 05, 2010 2:19 pm UTC

suffer-cait wrote:
Sungura wrote:Um, dude, what do you think a guy would likely expect? That is everyone's first instinct. And also, adrenaline, etc, you quite likely might not get a reaction at all.
just as first hand evidence i have totally kicked a guy in the nuts, damn hard, and ran, as fast as i could, in fear of atleast seriously intense pain. only to be tackled from behind by a very angry friend
Right, that is the other thing that can happen, you really piss them off. Good point.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Izawwlgood » Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:44 pm UTC

My girlfriend isn't really comfortable with locker room nudity; I personally find it kind of humorous and relaxing.

What bugs me is when the old men talcum their balls a few feet from my face. I imagine that translates pretty directly to women locker room habits.

I used to use the University gym facilities more, and was always struck at the number of professors I'd see walking around totally naked. I understand it's just a brand of comfort with your own body, that is a good thing, but were I in their shoes (or, flops) I'd be concerned with running into students who were uncomfortable with such a thing. I dunno, academics tend to not give a shit about lots of social norms, and I've given up on trying to understand them.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Esperite » Fri Feb 05, 2010 7:33 pm UTC

I am very uncomfortable with nudity; I'm uncomfortable even at changing in underwear for school gym. I'd uae a stall, but that would be even more awkward =\. I'm also uncomfortable if other people do it, but thankfully that is not a regular occurance. And yeah, I can't see myself ever really getting comfortable with that. Maybe I will, but I can't see it happening.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Osha » Fri Feb 05, 2010 8:19 pm UTC

I'm not at all comfortable getting nude around other people.
When media and people stop using the scenario of someone like me getting naked around other people as about the most awful, scary, horrifying, and perverted event in the world... maybe then I'll think about it.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Flightless_bird » Fri Feb 05, 2010 8:42 pm UTC

I am shy about nudity, But I don't mind underwear in locker rooms. The worst thing is when people who have no problem with being nude are like right in front of me which makes me very uncomfortable.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby podbaydoor » Fri Feb 05, 2010 9:22 pm UTC

I used to be very very self-conscious and uncomfortable with nudity. I think from ages 6-18 I don't think I was ever nude except to shower, ever - I didn't even get totally naked to change clothes (though when the weather is freezing cold, this is always a good idea).

I've gradually grown more comfortable with myself, and in locker rooms I've decided to adopt the "old woman" attitude - namely, who really gives a damn? I don't have anything that anybody in that room hasn't seen before.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby meridian » Fri Feb 05, 2010 10:07 pm UTC

I'm shy about nudity only if I think about it, mainly because my mind directly links nudity with sex. I remember being twelve and going to the pediatrician and being all freaked out that the doctor would see my baby buds of breasts and sexualize me. I had to nervously request one of the paper shirts to make sure they were sufficiently covered. Art has helped me. (mainly because I can stare at a painting or a model in class without it being considered awkward.) Being in theater helped. Getting the hell away from conservatism helped. Being around naked people ended up helping too. Funny story:

My brother took his church group on a camping trip at the Great Sand Dunes with the notition that because they don't have shower facilities and .. well, water in that great sandy place, we should go to a hot springs near by to re-moisturize, if you will. I had heard about hot springs before in Colorado, but assumed my brother would have checked the place out a bit before dragging his bible study on down. It completely did not phase me though (possibly because I didn't sleep a wink the night before) when the guys in the group started whispering about the hiker they saw in the woods or the two guys up the path. When we went in and registered, there was even a jar of free condoms at the desk. The entire resort was basically a nudist colony. I have never seen so many men in sarongs before - especially ones folded up to look like a miniskirt. Oh, and lots of naked people too - of all body types. Little kids all the way up to grandparent hippies.

It was strangely... liberating. I didn't strip down and join in deference to my group, but I think I might if I ever return.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Cassi » Fri Feb 05, 2010 11:51 pm UTC

I've gone back and forth quite about about how comfortable I am in terms of changing in front of others. From 12-14ish, I was pretty much completely comfortable changing for PE without doing the whole thing of trying not to let anyone ever see any bit of skin or underwear or anything, but that's because we all were. But when I moved, everyone was suddenly completely self-conscious and changed really quickly and it got me towards being pretty much the same.

Since then I've realised I'm pretty comfortable with my body, and gauge my level of being dressed on how comfortable the people around me are. It affects just what I wear around the house too...if I'm having a lounging around day, I'll tend to wear short cotton shorts and a vest top, which means you can see most of my legs and, if the top's white, the colour/design of my bra...but it was only after about a year of living with my housemates and us all becoming more comfortable with each other (the holiday in Egypt with most of them probably helped too) that I stopped putting on my dressing gown when I left my room.

To be honest, I'd be comfortable walking around in just my underwear, but I know my housemates wouldn't be, which would then make me uncomfortable. And I think I've kind of rambled. I guess the point is that I'm comfortable as long as I don't feel I could be making others uncomfortable...
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Rinsaikeru » Sat Feb 06, 2010 12:19 am UTC

Cassi, I think that describes pretty much how I feel about it too. I'm comfortable enough in my own skin that what makes me more or less likely to change/be half naked is the other person's comfort level.

I'm most comfortable around the other girls in my dance troupe--but we get changed around each other lots. But I've also got lots of techniques for changing without ever having taken anything off.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby LL Cool J » Sat Feb 06, 2010 12:28 am UTC

I went to school with a girl who would get on the bus in her pjs every morning and change on the way to school, without us ever seeing her in her underwear. She had some pretty impressive skills, doing that on a moving bus.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Plasmic-Turtle » Sat Feb 06, 2010 2:29 am UTC

That sure is impressive... but why would she change on the bus? Surely if you've got enough time to gather up your uniform you have 2 seconds to get into it at home?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Izawwlgood » Sat Feb 06, 2010 4:06 am UTC

So, BC question that my girlfriend and I can't settle;
She's on the nuvaring, and is convinced that after Shark Week, when a new ring is inserted, that she has to wait a week before the protection against pregnancy kicks in. I'm under the impression that that only applies to the first week when one first starts using the ring.
So what we're wondering is, if she's been on the ring for 3 months, and takes one out in the third week, for a week, and puts a new one in, she's covered the entire time, yes?
And yes, I'm checking elsewhere on the internets... Just figure I could get a quick answer here.
EDIT: Neat word filter :D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby namaize » Sat Feb 06, 2010 5:32 am UTC

As far as I know, it's kinda like the pill in that you're not on hormones for a week but you're still covered contraception-wise (but you have to wait a week when you're starting the hormones). Does that help? I'm not sure what you mean by the 3rd week; isn't the usual use in for 3, out for 1? I think I've heard you can just leave them in 4 weeks at a time to skip periods, too.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Enuja » Sat Feb 06, 2010 1:21 pm UTC

Just like with any other BC, the nuvaring comes with an information insert that says you're protected the whole time (including the fourth week without a ring and the first week on a new ring). Here (pdf) is the drug information and patient information (pages 5 & 6 are the usual patient information, but it's really nice to have the first four pages, too). Proper use of the nuvaring is to take out the ring for the fourth week (after three weeks in) and put in a new ring at the same time the next week. If you leave the nuvaring in for more than four weeks, or out for more than a week, then you have to worry about backup methods. I assure you, drug contraceptive methods don't require abstention or backup methods as a part of the method. With perfect use, the nuvaring has about a 2% pregnancy rate in one year, so using a backup method all of the time is a perfectly reasonable choice, but being protected all of the time is the entire point of taking drug contraceptives.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby PictureSarah » Sat Feb 06, 2010 5:45 pm UTC

Indeed, she is covered for the entire cycle, and doesn't need to wait a week. I've been using the NuvaRing for a combined total (a break in between) of about 2.5 years, and have had lots of sex immediately following Shark Week, and never had a pregnancy scare. BUT, I have fertility issues anyway, so I'm probably not a good example.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Isotope_238 » Mon Feb 08, 2010 10:18 pm UTC

I am not at all comfortable being naked or even partially undressed in front of people. It's not body issues; I like the way I look. I just prefer to keep my clothes on. For marching band, I preferred to change in the middle of the bandroom instead of using the crowded girls' changing room. I just wore a t-shirt and tights under my jacket and pants I knew no one was looking at me; they were all running around trying to find their hats/pants/gloves/jackets/plumes/horns.
I think I'm more uncomfortable with people looking at me than with being unclothed in front of them.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Cute Corpse » Tue Feb 09, 2010 5:33 am UTC

wow these threads have a lot of pages. Whatever tho..

ok... i kinda have this problem so here it goes. im preggers and i have no idea how i got pregnant or who the father is. what the hell? i found out this morning and tried like 5 sticks. damn sure too. can't tell my parents.... fucking will kill me! so im just gonna have to abort it.

i know none of you can do a damn thing for me about this, but it sorta helps that im venting it out.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby suffer-cait » Tue Feb 09, 2010 7:46 am UTC

how old are you?
check with your dr or insurance, they may clear it up for you. my insurance covers two abortions and they won't even tell my parents or print it on any bill, cause there is nothing they charge us if i pay the 15$ appointment fee. you may get lucky and have something similar.
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