[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Tue Dec 27, 2011 3:06 am UTC

I got a really nice down coat that is VERY warm and still stylish last year at JCPenney's after-Christmas sale. It was 70% off. I can't remember how much I paid for it...probably around $60? Overstock.com often has some great deals, and they have cheap shipping and relatively painless return policies.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Tue Dec 27, 2011 4:11 am UTC

This purple coat is on sale. There may be some issues with availability. Try your local store?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Amie » Tue Dec 27, 2011 5:21 am UTC

Spoiler:
I can't take this anymore. There's not a single day that passes without me worrying about my skin, my huge tummy and jobs. I've been trying really hard to take care of my skin and nothing seems to be working. Still no luck with jobs and consequently, money is still a big fucking issue so I can't see a doctor about it. I have problems with motivation and the like so exercising happens very rarely, with great effort. I don't have the energy to keep going anymore. All I get from anyone I have talked to is "Stop whining and just DO the stuff you need to do." If I could, I would. I wouldn't be feeling like shit. I am not the kind of person who tells people I'm in pain, normally. The few times that I do, it is received with such hostility that it surprises me. These are people who have whined to me about their problems incessantly. They're also people who don't have to deal with their brains being shit all the time.

I feel like one day, I will grow really tired of all this and do something stupid. The only thing keeping me alive is my relationship. I know I should be able to sustain myself without depending on something or someone but I'm too weak right now and I don't know what to do.

I just needed to ramble. If you've had the patience to read through this crap, thank you. Really.

/ramble
Summer is miles and miles away, and no one would ask me to stay.
And I, should contemplate this change... to ease the pain.
And I, should step out of the rain... turn away.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby mochafairy » Tue Dec 27, 2011 6:43 am UTC

*hugs and yummies for Amie, if you want them*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Tue Dec 27, 2011 2:10 pm UTC

Amie:
Spoiler:
It's okay to need people every once in a while. Yeah, maybe it's unhealthy as a long, long term solution, but it is definitely good to turn to people (especially in a relationship) when you need them and get help from them. I'm sorry to hear that your family has made this hard for you, but hopefully your SO will help you see that not all people are like that. Use this bit of happiness to get your bearings and maybe get your feet under you. It's what loved ones are for!


*also hugs if you want them*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Amie » Tue Dec 27, 2011 5:42 pm UTC

Thank you both.

Meridian - not my family. People you'd call friends.
Summer is miles and miles away, and no one would ask me to stay.
And I, should contemplate this change... to ease the pain.
And I, should step out of the rain... turn away.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Tue Dec 27, 2011 5:56 pm UTC

Amie wrote:Thank you both.

Meridian - not my family. People you'd call friends.

Well, I wouldn't call them that. Then again, I'm distinctively abrasive when faced with that kind of bullshit.
Spoiler:
People don't really go to heaven when they die. They are taken to a special room and burned.
- Sherlock
torontoraptor wrote:Internet is a zombie, and it is eating our brains.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Tue Dec 27, 2011 6:30 pm UTC

::hugs to Amie::
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Wed Dec 28, 2011 4:08 am UTC

hugs to all.

my zits are driving me nuts. I can't get rid of them, and I really don't want to deal with going to the doctor... any suggestions?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Wed Dec 28, 2011 6:50 am UTC

Hugs for everyone.

Spoiler:
My ladybits, in particular the clitoris and bits about an inch in any directions, are quite painful on touch and slightly swollen. It's the 3rd day of period, and I had sex yesterday which didn't hurt but was a little dry. Pressure from my jeans is painful. Any ideas what this is? It's happened before but it doesn't usually hurt like this. Think it's hormones and rough use? Ow.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Jesse » Wed Dec 28, 2011 7:40 am UTC

meridian wrote:Amie:
Spoiler:
It's okay to need people every once in a while. Yeah, maybe it's unhealthy as a long, long term solution, but it is definitely good to turn to people (especially in a relationship) when you need them and get help from them. I'm sorry to hear that your family has made this hard for you, but hopefully your SO will help you see that not all people are like that. Use this bit of happiness to get your bearings and maybe get your feet under you. It's what loved ones are for!


*also hugs if you want them*


Spoiler:
Also, your SO is totally here for you whenever you need him.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby suffer-cait » Wed Dec 28, 2011 8:34 am UTC

Cathy wrote:Hugs for everyone.

Spoiler:
My ladybits, in particular the clitoris and bits about an inch in any directions, are quite painful on touch and slightly swollen. It's the 3rd day of period, and I had sex yesterday which didn't hurt but was a little dry. Pressure from my jeans is painful. Any ideas what this is? It's happened before but it doesn't usually hurt like this. Think it's hormones and rough use? Ow.

Spoiler:
my experience tells me it is that you had too dry sex. sometimes when i over stimulate my clit it feels weird doing anything the next day.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Wed Dec 28, 2011 5:32 pm UTC

Good night's sleep = it's better now. Yay. I just dislike when my ladybits do things without my consent. :?

Doing wedding planning. Yesterday we did a flower consultation, and my bouquet is gonna have this:

Bride's bouquet: free-form hand-tie banded in white satin with white knot-tie and pearl pins-using light blue tipped hydrangea, Volkenfrieden delphinium, blue muscari, High and Pure rose, white lisianthus, white stock, lavender sweetpeas, and a touch of white freesia Mostly white with touches of shades of blues and lavender

They had little notecard books of alll the different flowers by colors. It was kind of fun.

Today is napkins and tablecloths and stuff. Somehow, that doesn't sound quite as fun. :(
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Wed Dec 28, 2011 6:03 pm UTC

It's not. The table linens cost more than the friggin' chairs and tables. We ended up going with the plain ivory colored table clothes, because the pretty ones were so damn expensive, but we got pretty napkins in like 4 different colors and mixed them all up. I think it looked ok?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Thu Dec 29, 2011 10:31 pm UTC

weight trigger warning
Spoiler:
So, when I went to my gyno she "had to tell me" that I am overweight - almost obese by bmi. I told her whatever, because I'd like to see "normal" people do 25 hour grueling trips underground, hiking with miles of elevation change in an afternoon, keep up for 1 game of capoeira, etc. and tell me I'm not in shape. She just kinda shruged and said "I have to say it, but yeah I agree if you can do all that you are fine, more than I can do!" but it got me to thinking there must be more accurate ways to measure. I mean if I cut off my hips and boobs, I would be fine I am quite sure. And after all, BMI is based on men who don't have either, typically, and the typical male is the basis for it.

I found the BAI, which overall seems a more sound concept and plugging in myself and some friends who are for sure healthy but considered overweight/obese by BMI, we come out normal by BAI. So I thought I'd share it with the Women Thread here, and maybe ya'all can make some use of it if anyone like doctors, give you shit. It is new, came out this year (2011) I do believe.

Interestingly enough, my BMI is 29. Which like I said is almost obese. My BAI is 21.8%, and I should be 21-33% so I'm actually almost considered underweight by BAI! Which, with my body shape and bone density/size and muscle mass makes more sense.

Of course, it's just another attempt at some standardization which is prone to error, but I just thought since it seemed to be working much more logically for myself and some female friends, perhaps it would work better for some of you too. And then would be handy to shove in doctor's faces if they give you shit. Which let's face it, it's always fun to come back with SCIENCE to doctors who give you shit...like taste of own medicine, haha.

For visual reference of what I am...here. Currently 190lbs, 5' 7"
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Plasmic-Turtle » Mon Jan 02, 2012 7:36 am UTC

Happy New Year my lovely women and friends!
Did everyone have a good Christmas and New Years? What did y'all get up to?

Amie: more hugs!
Cathy: bouquet sounds gorgeous! How did napkins and tablecloths go?
Snug: cheers for info! I'd heard body adipose was a better health indicator (like hell am I brave enough to check it though) but didn't know they had an index for it out now, that's cool.

Spoilered for childish whining...
Spoiler:
I also came on here to bitch about PMS, as unproductive as it is, as this is the only place I can really bitch about it. I had PMS last night during which I yelled and swore at my 7 yr old niece about her snarky back-chatting difficult teenager attitude (I've since apologised and explained), but it seems to have continued all today even though shark week started about 10am-ish, with periodic bouts of snapping at people followed by crying and feeling really down. Brother-in-law seems pretty fed up with it too. It's piled on top of other issues which I think is why I'm finding it so tough: I'm recently back in the country after a 3 month overseas exchange and facing serious back-to-reality blues, and I'm also living under my parents roof again (where the clutter is so full on that every room and corridor is single-file) for a month or so, and recently broke up properly with the man I'd been seeing the past 2 yrs. It's a recipe for disaster really: pregnant (often feeling ill) sis, often sarcastic brother-in-law, naggy attention-needing 7 yr old niece, overly motherly and sensitive mum, unwell elderly dad, aspergers brother, cat that constantly begs for food and an irritable impatient PMS-ing me all under one roof in a not very big and super-cluttered house...! Maybe if I drink lots of gin it'll go away?


EDIT: Insufficient gin available :(

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Amie » Mon Jan 02, 2012 2:23 pm UTC

Amy: *hugs* That'll be something I can tell people who call me fat, thank you!

Plasmic Turtle: *hugs* I'm sorry you went though all of that awful stuff. Alcohol is what I've been drowning my sorrows in too. If I weren't slightly inebriated currently, I'd tell you that it's not a wise thing to do but the intoxication temporarily feels soooo good :(
Summer is miles and miles away, and no one would ask me to stay.
And I, should contemplate this change... to ease the pain.
And I, should step out of the rain... turn away.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Mon Jan 02, 2012 7:55 pm UTC

existential_squirrrel wrote:hugs to all.

my zits are driving me nuts. I can't get rid of them, and I really don't want to deal with going to the doctor... any suggestions?


Cetaphil daily wash with a 3%-10% peroxide cream before bed. I've seen this regime do miracles.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Vaniver » Mon Jan 02, 2012 8:28 pm UTC

lucrezaborgia wrote:Cetaphil daily wash with a 3%-10% peroxide cream before bed. I've seen this regime do miracles.
Of course, make sure to do a controlled trial.
I mostly post over at LessWrong now.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Mon Jan 02, 2012 8:57 pm UTC

Vaniver wrote:
lucrezaborgia wrote:Cetaphil daily wash with a 3%-10% peroxide cream before bed. I've seen this regime do miracles.
Of course, make sure to do a controlled trial.


I wonder what would happen if you did differing strengths of peroxide cream in stripes on one's face...

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Tue Jan 03, 2012 12:13 am UTC

Plasmic-Turtle wrote:Happy New Year my lovely women and friends!
Did everyone have a good Christmas and New Years? What did y'all get up to?

Cathy: bouquet sounds gorgeous! How did napkins and tablecloths go?

It went quite well, actually. My parents are paying for a package at a nearby hotel that includes a lot of things at below-market prices (if we searched for them ourselves, that is). This way we didn't have to pay any extra for the renting of the linens and they'll set it all up for us. My mom and a friend and I went to the linens warehouse and chose tablecloths, overcloths, napkins, chair covers, and bows for the backs of the chairs. I like what we got!

One of the FOUR walls of cloths, not including the bazillions of drawers.
Image

What we finally chose.
Image
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Tue Jan 03, 2012 3:03 pm UTC

Raaar. I'm not pregnant hi5? (not that I have any reason to believe I could be pregnant.)

(Okay, aside from all things uncomfortable about menstruating, this is a good thing because it seems like I am on track for having a period free visit from Crushbuddy in February. Wooo!)

In other news, second month of NuvaRing continues to regulate Shark Week. I don't know if my PMS symptons are better yet, but they seem to be shorter, so that's an upswing. I am tentatively saying that my over all mood stability is ... more so stable. I did have a couple irrational outbursts in the last few days, but it seems like it's only the last few days. I am having more headaches, but I am tracking these. (The worst one was after I took out the ring, so I don't think it is a concern for bloodclots.) Seasonal depression is kind of heavy though. My best friend (who may still be in labor for 65 hours at this point) recommends a lamp, but the one she recommends is something like $250.

(sorry, my brain broke. 65 hours of labor...)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Tue Jan 03, 2012 9:22 pm UTC

[quote="meridian"the one she recommends is something like $250.[/quote]

You can make them yourself for much cheaper but they won't look so pretty.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Plasmic-Turtle » Wed Jan 04, 2012 1:12 am UTC

Amie, thanks for hugs! They were much appreciated. The only bad things that had happened though were PMS and a break-up, but PMS can make every other little thing in life so much harder to cope with! So glad it's now over :)
Cathy, love your choice! Can't wait to see a pic or so (if you're willing to share!) of the proper event, with all these little pieces having come together.
Meridian, is this some kind of specialty lamp or something, to cost that much? If so, how's it different from any ordinary lamp, could you link to it? And errrrrrgh, 65 hours....

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Wed Jan 04, 2012 3:26 am UTC

Here's the link. It's the discount site version. I still don't have the cash for this and am not convinced it is working.

It's supposed to help simulate daylight as that is what most people are lacking in larger quantities during the winter months.

(oh, and she's up to 75 hours now. what the crap.)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Wed Jan 04, 2012 3:30 am UTC

AND THEY HAVEN'T DONE A CAESARIAN YET

WTF IS WRONG WITH THEM

:shock:


/sympathy aaaarrrrgghhhhhhh
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Wed Jan 04, 2012 3:35 am UTC

meridian wrote:(oh, and she's up to 75 hours now. what the crap.)


Labor means a lot of different things to different people. It's not uncommon for labor to be that long if you count the really early stages of contractions.

poxic wrote:AND THEY HAVEN'T DONE A CAESARIAN YET

WTF IS WRONG WITH THEM

:shock:


/sympathy aaaarrrrgghhhhhhh


If she's not been in overly active labor and the baby isn't in distress she'll most likely be fine. Some people have low intensity labor for days.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Wed Jan 04, 2012 4:09 am UTC

lucrezaborgia wrote:
meridian wrote:(oh, and she's up to 75 hours now. what the crap.)


Labor means a lot of different things to different people. It's not uncommon for labor to be that long if you count the really early stages of contractions.

poxic wrote:AND THEY HAVEN'T DONE A CAESARIAN YET

WTF IS WRONG WITH THEM

:shock:


/sympathy aaaarrrrgghhhhhhh


If she's not been in overly active labor and the baby isn't in distress she'll most likely be fine. Some people have low intensity labor for days.

A past coworker of mine was in labor for 86 hours with her first child. She told me all about it at the time, but it's been many a year and googling isn't bringing up the terms. However familiar I am with this process, but I can still marvel and wince. My friend K has a whole team of medical advisors at this point, including a doula. She and the baby are fine and the husband is reporting with no vocalized concern.

(Though, I'm surprised the hospital hasn't pushed for a caesarian for the business aspect of the medical industry.)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Wed Jan 04, 2012 5:31 am UTC

lucrezaborgia wrote:
Vaniver wrote:
lucrezaborgia wrote:Cetaphil daily wash with a 3%-10% peroxide cream before bed. I've seen this regime do miracles.
Of course, make sure to do a controlled trial.


I wonder what would happen if you did differing strengths of peroxide cream in stripes on one's face...


I'm a chemistry major... but I'm not about to subject my face to that kind of testing :shock:
I already use a 10% benzoyl peroxide cream in addition to multiple facial cleansers, including stuff with salicylic acid.
stupid zits...
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Wed Jan 04, 2012 5:52 am UTC

Plasmic-Turtle wrote:Cathy, love your choice! Can't wait to see a pic or so (if you're willing to share!) of the proper event, with all these little pieces having come together.

Thanks! I will certainly keep the Women's Thread informed, it's tons of fun to tell people I (kinda sorta) know and get bunches of happy. The wedding isn't until March, but since I'm at school in a different city... well, some things you have to do in person.

Aaaaaaagh at child labor! I admit, I plan to take painkillers thankyouverymuch. I read something that said "The doctors told me that I didn't get a medal at the end for doing it without medication." I'm not particularly fond of the childbirth variety pain! I have enough trouble with period cramps! Also, hi fives all around, I'm not pregnant either, haha.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Ashlah » Wed Jan 04, 2012 3:05 pm UTC

existential_squirrrel wrote:
lucrezaborgia wrote:
Vaniver wrote:
lucrezaborgia wrote:Cetaphil daily wash with a 3%-10% peroxide cream before bed. I've seen this regime do miracles.
Of course, make sure to do a controlled trial.


I wonder what would happen if you did differing strengths of peroxide cream in stripes on one's face...


I'm a chemistry major... but I'm not about to subject my face to that kind of testing :shock:
I already use a 10% benzoyl peroxide cream in addition to multiple facial cleansers, including stuff with salicylic acid.
stupid zits...

Just an anecdote, and I know everyone's skin is different, but my boyfriend and I both had much better luck with our skin after cutting salicylic acid wash out of our routines. We use this one now. Worth a try (if you haven't already). The harsh washes end up making me produce more oil, and then more acne.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Wed Jan 04, 2012 5:27 pm UTC

Ashlah wrote:I already use a 10% benzoyl peroxide cream in addition to multiple facial cleansers, including stuff with salicylic acid.
stupid zits...

Just an anecdote, and I know everyone's skin is different, but my boyfriend and I both had much better luck with our skin after cutting salicylic acid wash out of our routines. We use this one now. Worth a try (if you haven't already). The harsh washes end up making me produce more oil, and then more acne.[/quote]

That wash is practically the same as Cetaphil Daily Wash.

I was always told to specifically not mix salicylic acid with peroxide so maybe that is another issue? Maybe also dial back on the cream intensity?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby sophyturtle » Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:11 pm UTC

I know I am wicked late, but I wanted to toss in a 'I love it' for the menstrual cup. I went away for NYE and did not have my Keeper, or enough glad rags. I had to go find tampons, and they did not have OB. I found it was fine when druck, but when sober I really noticed the whole 'I am going to expand to be a long flat boxy thing' the tampon did. My Keeper is so much better, going around my uterus/cervix instead of poking at it.

Indeed.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:49 pm UTC

I think, for me, acne treatments don't do squat unless I also stay hydrated, get enough sleep, and wash my face with a washcloth every day. And, paradoxically, keeping my face moisturized in the winter. I wish I'd done more of that when I was in high school - the benzoyl peroxide didn't do anything and I'm left with copious acne scars.
Last edited by podbaydoor on Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:51 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:50 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:I think, for me, acne treatments don't do squat unless I also stay hydrated, get enough sleep, and wash my face with a washcloth every day.


Washing makeup tools is also a must.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:52 pm UTC

Since I don't wear makeup most of the time, it's never been an issue. I do have gentle makeup remover for the few occasions when I do.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cassi » Wed Jan 04, 2012 8:43 pm UTC

I have this lightbox, and it really does work wonders (when I bother to use it, anyway). I am pretty sure I would have spent 99% of the winter of my first year of uni in bed without it, which probably makes it worthwhile even if I have been pretty terrible at actually using it more recently...
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:24 pm UTC

In case anyone was morbidly curious, my friend was in labor for 93 hours and produced a 9lb, 10oz, 22in offspring.
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People don't really go to heaven when they die. They are taken to a special room and burned.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Hawknc » Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:39 pm UTC

Cassi wrote:I have this lightbox, and it really does work wonders (when I bother to use it, anyway). I am pretty sure I would have spent 99% of the winter of my first year of uni in bed without it, which probably makes it worthwhile even if I have been pretty terrible at actually using it more recently...

Is there something to that lightbox that makes it more than a couple of ~5000K fluorescent tubes with a diffuser? Because in a pinch I could put something like that together from the hardware store for under $20. Obviously that one's been proven to work, but I'd be interested to see if I could DIY something similar myself or if there is something unique about the lights they use.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Thu Jan 05, 2012 8:35 pm UTC

Hawknc wrote:Is there something to that lightbox that makes it more than a couple of ~5000K fluorescent tubes with a diffuser? Because in a pinch I could put something like that together from the hardware store for under $20. Obviously that one's been proven to work, but I'd be interested to see if I could DIY something similar myself or if there is something unique about the lights they use.


No. All you need are several 10,000 lux lights and make sure whatever contraption you use can be placed so the light shines down from above.

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