[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby sophyturtle » Thu Jan 05, 2012 9:14 pm UTC

meridian wrote:In case anyone was morbidly curious, my friend was in labor for 93 hours and produced a 9lb, 10oz, 22in offspring.
Wow. Labor is one of the scariest things ever. Props to her.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Thu Jan 05, 2012 9:15 pm UTC

Also, 9 lbs 10 oz! Holy Crap!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Thu Jan 05, 2012 10:15 pm UTC

PictureSarah wrote:Also, 9 lbs 10 oz! Holy Crap!

Agreed!! I was 6lb 8oz... and I wasn't that small.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Hawknc » Fri Jan 06, 2012 4:05 am UTC

lucrezaborgia wrote:
Hawknc wrote:Is there something to that lightbox that makes it more than a couple of ~5000K fluorescent tubes with a diffuser? Because in a pinch I could put something like that together from the hardware store for under $20. Obviously that one's been proven to work, but I'd be interested to see if I could DIY something similar myself or if there is something unique about the lights they use.


No. All you need are several 10,000 lux lights and make sure whatever contraption you use can be placed so the light shines down from above.

http://www.psycheducation.org/depressio ... herapy.htm

That was a very interesting read, thanks. I'm a bit wary of some of these lightboxes as very few discuss colour temperature, which is important to simulating sunlight, and measuring lux is only relevant if you're a uniform distance away from the lightsource. But that's a good starting point for doing more research into it. :)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby semicharmed » Fri Jan 06, 2012 9:34 am UTC

PictureSarah wrote:Also, 9 lbs 10 oz! Holy Crap!


Very much holy crap! I think I was in the high 6/low 7s range, as was my sister and neither of us were particularly tiny.

Also, my mom's a nurse on the mother-baby floor (wing? ward? unit?), and she and her colleagues will sometimes put the biggest and smallest newborns in the nursery next to each other. She says it makes the small ones look like peanuts and the big ones look like 6 month olds.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Apparently Anonymous » Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:50 pm UTC

I can't find my mooncup, so I had to get tampons : < Worst period in a while.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Fri Jan 06, 2012 5:02 pm UTC

PictureSarah wrote:Also, 9 lbs 10 oz! Holy Crap!



Geeezzz Louise! I was only 5 pounds, and hungry when I was born
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Fri Jan 06, 2012 5:36 pm UTC

Yay for safe delivery! Dang that is a long time :shock:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Fri Jan 06, 2012 8:32 pm UTC

Corsets! Lots of corsets! All for $35! They're having a sale! This is awesome!

http://www.corsetdeal.com/
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby KestrelLowing » Fri Jan 06, 2012 8:47 pm UTC

existential_squirrrel wrote:
PictureSarah wrote:Also, 9 lbs 10 oz! Holy Crap!



Geeezzz Louise! I was only 5 pounds, and hungry when I was born


Aw dang, all of you are making me feel like a freaking beast! I was 10lbs 3oz, and was technically 2 weeks early! But, yay for healthy babies!

On an unrelated note, why are so many females so insane? Specifically when it comes to relationships? I have a boyfriend and am straight, so this doesn't directly affect me, but I'm always saddened when I learn about females 'testing' their boyfriends, or what-have-you. Also, what's with the cattiness?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Fri Jan 06, 2012 9:49 pm UTC

1) Socialization
2) Females are not insane, that's an insulting societal narrative that has done a lot of harm when it comes to dismissing legitimate relationship issues.

There are plenty of examples of men "testing" their female partners. It's just not called that because it doesn't slot into the narrative. People are horrible to each other.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Plasmic-Turtle » Fri Jan 06, 2012 10:04 pm UTC

Haha your mother must have been very very thankful that you were early Kestrel!
My poor sis reckons she gets hyperemesis - rather than just the usual morning sickness she feels ill right throughout the pregnancy, and gets very very sick: she's currently about 17 or 18 weeks, has lost 5 kg from her pre-pregnancy weight due to vomiting and still feels nauseous pretty much constantly. Sounds like hell.

Kestrel is there something in particular that's happened recently in terms of female cattiness or boyfriend 'testing'? I've never purposefully 'tested' any partners nor am I aware of any friends who have, although I think being in a relationship with me is possibly testing enough as it is!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Fri Jan 06, 2012 10:08 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:1) Socialization
2) Females are not insane, that's an insulting societal narrative that has done a lot of harm when it comes to dismissing legitimate relationship issues.

There are plenty of examples of men "testing" their female partners. It's just not called that because it doesn't slot into the narrative. People are horrible to each other.

nah, nah. just women. Especially the ones with mental illness.
Srsly kestrel, you just did that, in this thread. i am going to make this face at you and then move on.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby sophyturtle » Fri Jan 06, 2012 10:18 pm UTC

I second the face.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby studyinserendipity » Sat Jan 07, 2012 2:12 pm UTC

ACK SURPRISE SHARK WEEK!!!

Seriously that was ridiculous. No warning signs (moodiness, cramps, bloating), and about 2-3 weeks earlier than I expected, given the length of my last cycle. Thank goodness there were a couple tampons left in the 'communal work tampon box' and that I was wearing old underwear and black pants.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby semicharmed » Sat Jan 07, 2012 9:39 pm UTC

studyinserendipity wrote:ACK SURPRISE SHARK WEEK!!!

Seriously that was ridiculous. No warning signs (moodiness, cramps, bloating), and about 2-3 weeks earlier than I expected, given the length of my last cycle. Thank goodness there were a couple tampons left in the 'communal work tampon box' and that I was wearing old underwear and black pants.


That's the worst!

My last surprise! Shark Week! was conveniently enough the day of my (mandatory) mid-(Peace Corps)-service medical exam. Which means I had to reschedule - and figure out - a second trip to the PC office/medical unit in Kyiv (a 12 hour train ride from my nearest train station). Only to then find out from my mom that Drs can totally do gyn exams during a period, the only thing it really affects is the required urine sample.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby KestrelLowing » Sun Jan 08, 2012 3:54 pm UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:
podbaydoor wrote:1) Socialization
2) Females are not insane, that's an insulting societal narrative that has done a lot of harm when it comes to dismissing legitimate relationship issues.

There are plenty of examples of men "testing" their female partners. It's just not called that because it doesn't slot into the narrative. People are horrible to each other.

nah, nah. just women. Especially the ones with mental illness.
Srsly kestrel, you just did that, in this thread. i am going to make this face at you and then move on.
ಠ_ಠ


No, that's the problem! I know that what I said was waaaaay overgeneralizing, but it's so frustrating! It seems as if females, in general, never actually say what they mean, and frankly it's really annoying. I keep seeing my guy friends being so frustrated that they cannot ask what's really going on with the women in their life - they're just supposed to 'know'. Frankly, I have that problem too and it's probably why I can count the number of female friends I have ever had on one hand.

I'm sorry for the bad use of the word 'insane' when I really meant aggravating.

What can I do to (A) show that not all females are like that (without automatically being seen as 'the outlier') and (B) help other females to see that being vague, or not telling your boyfriend what they actually want is just damaging to relationships and to the general perceptions of females everywhere!?

Yes, that question came from personal frustration that has just kind of built up over the years and finally snapped when I heard of yet another one of my male friends walking on eggshells because he had done something to upset his girlfriend and when he asked about it, she said 'nothing' with a sigh.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Sun Jan 08, 2012 4:58 pm UTC

You can't help being seen as an outlier, because you're angry at a social perception whose utility is borne out again and again through interpersonal drama and if you haven't got any at the moment, you're 'special'. It's nice for the guys to be able to look at you and declare you 'special' or 'outlier' or 'not insane' but really it's probably just circumstantial.
It seems that females never say what they mean? I mean, I can't help you with that. it seems to me that's a bullshit statement. I think a lot of the women I know say what they mean. especially those who are in positive, constructive romantic relationships. If you're seeing non-stop misrepresentation perhaps it says more about the kinds of relationships you are exposed to than the kinds of women.
We are also pretty often taught to shut the fuck up about what we want so basically, if you want to try to encourage other females to be explicit and to try to get what they want by asking plainly for it or demanding it, you might want to start by talking about how it's OK for them to want anything at all. It's a better tack than 'hey stop being a crazy female'.
You're annoyed because your male friends are expressing a lack of understanding in their female counterparts and it's the same things over and over again. That doesn't actually mean it's the ladies' problem. If I'm gonna give someone a 'nothing' answer, it's because I really don't think that expressing my opinion or desire will actually get me anything.
I wonder how many other people think that way too.

but what the fuck do i know i haven't taked my meds yet today


AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby charolastra » Sun Jan 08, 2012 6:09 pm UTC

My least favorite kind of surprise shark week is the Custer's Last Stand that sometimes happens post-sexytimes.

Spoiler:
I told the boy that we were good in the nethers (he doesn't care but I feel uncomfy) and then fantastic sex and then HOMG IT'S SILENCE OF THE LAMBS DOWN HERE. That hasn't happened in a long time - and never with such gusto. Normally once I stop bleeding, it's stopped. Maybe a bit of spotting. This was kind of ridiculous. Eep.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Ashlah » Sun Jan 08, 2012 6:11 pm UTC

You might also want to remember that that exact sentiment has been drilled into your head since you were a child ("women are crazy/impossible to understand"), so when you see "evidence" of it in your own life, you're much more likely to attribute it to their sex. Whereas when men in your life do the exact same thing (and I'm sure some of them do, as all people can be difficult to understand and don't always communicate clearly), you're more likely to attribute it to the individual ("This guy is impossible to understand"), rather than to his sex ("Men are impossible to understand.")

It's something that all people struggle with when they start trying to fight back against the sexist/gender binarism bullshit we've been socialized to believe.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby charolastra » Sun Jan 08, 2012 6:20 pm UTC

Ashlah wrote:You might also want to remember that that exact sentiment has been drilled into your head since you were a child ("women are crazy/impossible to understand"), so when you see "evidence" of it in your own life, you're much more likely to attribute it to their sex. Whereas when men in your life do the exact same thing (and I'm sure some of them do, as all people can be difficult to understand and don't always communicate clearly), you're more likely to attribute it to the individual ("This guy is impossible to understand"), rather than to his sex ("Men are impossible to understand.")


That's not my experience. When talking to other women, I hear "boys are crazy" or "boys are stupid" or "boys are *insert disparaging adjective about their lack of sensitivity as demonstrated by one or two men at this point in time*" very often. In no way are women as a whole singled out more than men in my social interactions.

We're all mad here...

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Sun Jan 08, 2012 6:40 pm UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:I think a lot of the women I know say what they mean. especially those who are in positive, constructive romantic relationships. If you're seeing non-stop misrepresentation perhaps it says more about the kinds of relationships you are exposed to than the kinds of women.

We are also pretty often taught to shut the fuck up about what we want so basically, if you want to try to encourage other females to be explicit and to try to get what they want by asking plainly for it or demanding it, you might want to start by talking about how it's OK for them to want anything at all. It's a better tack than 'hey stop being a crazy female'.


Definitely agree on that! "Game players" is what I call people who expect their SO to be mind-readers and I stay far far away from players of both sexes. Of course, it's not a perfect term. I wouldn't say that "game players" are necessarily playing games for the fun of manipulation. "Game players" also seem to expect that the stereotype is the Truth and act in ways that reinforce it over and over. Then there are all those "men from mars" crap relationship books and other contrived shit that reinforces it even further for this particular set. One of my ex's used to be a "game player" and would do all kinds of stupid shit to pay me back for whatever he was angry at me about because I didn't just know...and if I didn't just know then I must obviously not love him because anyone who loved him would know things before he did and all that other silly Hollywood romance crap.

Sorry...I'm rambling and am going through my waking routine...

Another thing I think is an issue is that effective communication does not come naturally to everyone. In my own life, I've spent the past few years changing my speaking style because I am a poor verbal communicator. DH is a good verbal and written communicator as long as he does not have to figure out the social undercurrent in the room. He can't always tell when someone is angry and he definitely can't always tell when I am angry or upset. So, we've had to work it out where we tell each other when we are upset about something and we don't wait for the moment to build up either. It has to happen NOW or else we don't remember the context very well and it's not effective to talk about it at a much later time.

If I'm gonna give someone a 'nothing' answer, it's because I really don't think that expressing my opinion or desire will actually get me anything.


We've banned "nothing" answers in our relationship. Your mileage may vary of course and sometimes there really is no reason to argue at a certain time, especially if you know it will go in circles. On the flip-side...you never really know what will happen and if you find yourself constantly giving a "nothing" answer then maybe it's time to reevaluate the relationship. I don't believe that is a healthy relationship if you can't talk about things or you fear that if you do talk about something you will be dismissed or something equally negative.

Other than that, I use this tool a lot: http://www.anythingtostopthepain.com/i- ... ion-skill/

No, I'm not borderline/ES. Done a lot of personal reading on it and I found this skill (and others from DBT) to be very valuable outside of dealing with someone with BPD.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Ashlah » Sun Jan 08, 2012 8:15 pm UTC

charolastra wrote:
Ashlah wrote:You might also want to remember that that exact sentiment has been drilled into your head since you were a child ("women are crazy/impossible to understand"), so when you see "evidence" of it in your own life, you're much more likely to attribute it to their sex. Whereas when men in your life do the exact same thing (and I'm sure some of them do, as all people can be difficult to understand and don't always communicate clearly), you're more likely to attribute it to the individual ("This guy is impossible to understand"), rather than to his sex ("Men are impossible to understand.")


That's not my experience. When talking to other women, I hear "boys are crazy" or "boys are stupid" or "boys are *insert disparaging adjective about their lack of sensitivity as demonstrated by one or two men at this point in time*" very often. In no way are women as a whole singled out more than men in my social interactions.

We're all mad here...

Oh, I'm not at all saying generalizations don't happen to all groups, and the whole attribution thing is going to vary based on the specific stereotype. I just think this particular stereotype (about being the difficult/impossible to understand sex) is often about women. "Boys are stupid" or "All men suck" are ones I hear most often about men (and my disagreeing with that sentiment one time was, amazingly, one of the things that drove a friendship apart. But I digress.)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby KestrelLowing » Mon Jan 09, 2012 2:45 am UTC

Ashlah wrote:
charolastra wrote:
Ashlah wrote:You might also want to remember that that exact sentiment has been drilled into your head since you were a child ("women are crazy/impossible to understand"), so when you see "evidence" of it in your own life, you're much more likely to attribute it to their sex. Whereas when men in your life do the exact same thing (and I'm sure some of them do, as all people can be difficult to understand and don't always communicate clearly), you're more likely to attribute it to the individual ("This guy is impossible to understand"), rather than to his sex ("Men are impossible to understand.")


That's not my experience. When talking to other women, I hear "boys are crazy" or "boys are stupid" or "boys are *insert disparaging adjective about their lack of sensitivity as demonstrated by one or two men at this point in time*" very often. In no way are women as a whole singled out more than men in my social interactions.

We're all mad here...

Oh, I'm not at all saying generalizations don't happen to all groups, and the whole attribution thing is going to vary based on the specific stereotype. I just think this particular stereotype (about being the difficult/impossible to understand sex) is often about women. "Boys are stupid" or "All men suck" are ones I hear most often about men (and my disagreeing with that sentiment one time was, amazingly, one of the things that drove a friendship apart. But I digress.)


Yeah, that could be a significant reason why I did just jump to "ALL FEMALES BE CRAZY!!!" (I'm feeling a bit more normal now - I think PMS is finally done for this cycle - another thing I really hate. Never had a problem until recently and I feel like I'm just contributing to that idea that females are crazy, because I certainly feel like it) Stereotype shown in real life --> insert 'girls suck at math' comic.

Oh, and Meaux_Pas - I think you brought something to mind. I really don't have much interpersonal drama at all, and never really have. I can think of a total of one time when there was actually 'drama' between me and another person. I don't really know why - maybe because I am quite an introvert and therefore just don't have that many people I interact with. That seemingly endless drama is really what I'm upset about. I don't get why people can't just sit down and figure it out! Or stop being around that person.

I think my major frustration is possibly out of a lack of social understanding on my part. For me, groups of guys are sooooo much easier to understand.

Once again, I apologize for saying things the way I did, especially in a safespace.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Belial » Mon Jan 09, 2012 2:38 pm UTC

KestrelLowing wrote:Once again, I apologize for saying things the way I did, especially in a safespace.


Responding to report: Oh, looks like it's handled. Uhhh...please don't let it happen again?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby sophyturtle » Mon Jan 09, 2012 7:39 pm UTC

On the DBT skills, oh wow do I like them. I kinda feel like finding them changed my life.
Beyond the interpersonal communications ones that are helpful to everyone, I have PTSD and some of the other skills are lifesavers.

I highly recommend looking into it if you have difficulty with negative self thoughts, interpersonal communication, and a lot of other issues.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Mon Jan 09, 2012 8:43 pm UTC

sophyturtle wrote:On the DBT skills, oh wow do I like them. I kinda feel like finding them changed my life.
Beyond the interpersonal communications ones that are helpful to everyone, I have PTSD and some of the other skills are lifesavers.

I highly recommend looking into it if you have difficulty with negative self thoughts, interpersonal communication, and a lot of other issues.


I've been learning some of the skills to help a friend who has BPD and I never ever expected it to be so helpful in my life in general. It probably helps that I'm the kind of person that everyone feels comfortable talking to so incorporating "radical acceptance" wasn't a huge stretch for me, but I was carrying some resentment about certain peoples actions and it wasn't helping me in my interactions with them. The tool I linked to is a great start once you've got "radical acceptance" down pat.

As a bipolar person, I kinda wonder why these kinds of skills are never discussed by my treatment team. Medication certainly goes a long long way but it would have been nice to have this kind of structured therapy. I don't find general talk therapy to be any use.

If you have a loved one or a close friend who has BPD, I highly suggest finding the nearest DBT-FST group.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby paulisa » Mon Jan 09, 2012 9:40 pm UTC

And now for something completely different...

Body issues!

Spoiler:
So I sometimes read about how people whose upper thighs touch when their feet are together are gross and fat and whatnot. This keeps bugging me, because I must be doing it wrong, but if my ankles and knees (bones) are touching when I'm standing up, most of the stuff in between is touching too. If the knees are touchging but the tops of the thighs aren't, doesn't that imply that the knees are the thickest part of the upper leg? I can't think of anyone (male or female) who fits that.

Also, I think I'm doing the BAI-measurements mentioned a while ago wrong: I get somewhere near 45, with a BMI of 23.2. I measured around the widest part of my bum, which is aber 7cm below the tops of the hip bones. Maybe my hips are just weird.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby felltir » Mon Jan 09, 2012 9:46 pm UTC

I believe they are referring to this gap. (Probably NSFW)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby doogly » Mon Jan 09, 2012 11:16 pm UTC

I think it's more common to be standing not with your ankles and knees together. Like, if you have your feet apart the usual amount for your stance. So maybe nothing at all touches. I think that is the situation being talked about more than felltir's thing.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Tue Jan 10, 2012 2:32 am UTC

paulisa wrote:So I sometimes read about how people whose upper thighs touch when their feet are together are gross and fat and whatnot.

No, they're not?

I'm having a googlefail and can't find a picture I'm thinking about. It was some sort of "ideal woman's legs" thing from a few decades ago. The model had her feet together, and held a quarter between her legs in each of the four spots that touched: between the ankles, calves, knees, and upper thighs. The model also didn't have the vaguely obscene-looking gap at the top that felltir's pic shows, iirc. (Which gap, by the way makes, me think that the model in felltir's pic is very underweight. She's also exaggerating the gap by leaning forward.)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby GraphiteGirl » Tue Jan 10, 2012 3:06 am UTC

I've heard maybe two very thin women say something negative about thighs rubbing together. I think most women's thighs do press together near the top, and it's just something that isn't discussed or acknowledged, so a lot of us feel shame about it, which is so unwarranted.

I've started wearing those "control undergarments" under skirts, because they produce less visible lines than bike shorts, whilst still alleviating thigh rubbing. Does anyone else here do that?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Tue Jan 10, 2012 3:48 am UTC

My thighs have rubbed together at the top since I was 12. (it wears holes in pants in a really annoying way.) They still do, even though I've lost weight and I think I am looking reasonably fit, but I uh, have big thighs. No lie there. They touch, that's how they are. I can, however, stand in that same way and have said gap between my legs- but i certainly can't do that all the time. Part of it is anatomy, part of it is posture.

And yes, undershorts for biking are a win.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Tue Jan 10, 2012 4:13 am UTC

Thighs...mine touch. this was actually something my mom told me from a child...that her thighs touch and she used to be made to feel fat for it, but a lot of people's do and I should never feel bad for it. So...yay mom for doing something right! To me it seems normal because of that being how I was brought up to think. And I do think a lot of people's do. If you just watch people walk a lot of people's upper legs touch. The thing that annoys me is is it makes shorts ride up between my legs while walking. Anyone else have that problem? do anything to stop it? Its basically a large reason why I stopped wearing shorts. But Im moving south soon and I doubt I will want to wear pants all summer long. :/
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Tue Jan 10, 2012 4:26 am UTC

Sungura wrote:The thing that annoys me is is it makes shorts ride up between my legs while walking. Anyone else have that problem? do anything to stop it? :/


Try form fitting pants that are tapered at the bottom and go almost to the knees.

Incidentally, my fiance is a skinny bastard whose thighs don't touch when standing.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby animeHrmIne » Tue Jan 10, 2012 6:06 am UTC

My highs don't touch when I'm standing. Part of the problem is that I roll my arches in a bit, forcing everything else apart, but even standing correctly on the outsides of my feet, only my ankles and knees touch comfortably, and definitely not the bones of my knees. It's actually a bit of an issue in yoga, when we're instructed in standing positions to squeeze our calves and thighs together and the most I can achieve is a little bit of my upper thighs (in fact, pretty much where that gap is in felltir's picture), and that's if I roll my legs outward. In fact, as long as my legs are straight and I'm standing no matter which ways I turn them there is a gap about a hand's length long that will not close.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby semicharmed » Tue Jan 10, 2012 7:22 am UTC

If I'm standing with my feet together/ankle bones touching, most of my upper & lower legs touch each other; there's only a few gaps. If I stand with my feet shoulder-width apart, only my upper thighs touch. They have since I was little and that's always the first part of my pants to wear out. Under skirts, some people swear by a little bit of deodorant on each thigh where they touch, which will cut down the friction. I was in New Orleans for university, and usually just made sure to lotion my whole legs, which kept the rubbing/chafing to a minimum.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Tue Jan 10, 2012 7:31 am UTC

semicharmed wrote:that's always the first part of my pants to wear out.


If anyone has a solution to this I'm all ears!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Tue Jan 10, 2012 3:10 pm UTC

As far as shorts go, the only way I've been able to wear them is to make sure that they are lower than the widest part of my thigh and then either rolled tight or hemmed closely so that they don't ride up. if they are meant to be baggy or loose fitting, they have to go down to my knees. Generally, I just don't wear shorts, except for spandex shorts under all of my skirts, because I haven't been able to wear a skirt without chafing violently since '99. I envy people who can just wear panties and that's it.

Though, I have to state that the last few months has been really good for my self-body-image thing. Crushbuddy's influence has built on what my ex tried to tell me and I'm really starting to accept and maybe love my size. Exercise and being active in general is helpful too, as I just feel stronger in general, even if I'm flat out exhausted a lot. I flat out ignore scales, BMI, and BAI because making my body about numbers is simply going to make me neurotic.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby KestrelLowing » Tue Jan 10, 2012 4:13 pm UTC

I think that 'thigh touching' really has two components - how wide your actual thighs are and how wide your hips are. If you've got narrow hips, I don't see how you couldn't have your thighs touching! I've got quite wide hips, so my thighs do touch if my knees are together but when I'm standing with my feet shoulder width apart, they don't. Really, you can be healthy and depending on where your fat deposits go, how wide your hips are, and how wide your thighs are, and you may still have legs that rub together when you walk. It's really just a body shape thing - not a body size.


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