[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby paulisa » Tue Jan 10, 2012 5:19 pm UTC

Thanks everyone for laying my fears to rest. Of course it's logical that both thigh size and hip width affect whether the thighs touch, but I've seen so many people writing that it's always gross that I've been wondering whether all the people I know are martians, because the vast majority has touching thighs and I think none of them are fat.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Tue Jan 10, 2012 6:11 pm UTC

Because of course, if they were fat, that would mean that they're gross. :roll:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Tue Jan 10, 2012 6:12 pm UTC

I think, for me, it's something that came with puberty, so I remember what it was like before and dislike it and find it annoying after that I am more tempted to put it in a bad light rather than just accept it as part of female body issues.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Wed Jan 11, 2012 12:59 am UTC

paulisa wrote:I've seen so many people writing that it's always gross


Maybe it's time to find new reading material? :?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby animeHrmIne » Wed Jan 11, 2012 5:35 am UTC

Spoilered for length.
Spoiler:
In the "things to do with thighs" department, mine are really obviously asymmetrical, which bothers me. For some body types, the widest part of the lower body is the hip, and for others it's the thigh. I have one of each, so when I wear long dresses, they literally fall from different parts of my body. Either would be fine with me, because skirts can drape well when falling from the hips down or the thighs down, but I can't wear maxi dresses because it's so disorienting. It's like there's a vertex at my left hip, and the left side of the dress drapes from there, but there's a vertex about 4 inches lower on my right thigh, and the right side drapes from there.

Hell, my entire body is asymmetrical in a really jarring way. Twice in the past week I've had people comment on the fact that the bridge on my glasses is completely slanted, asking if my glasses are crooked. No, the glasses are balanced on my face, my face is just crooked. One ear is significantly lower than the other, and one eye socket (and thus eye) is bigger. So in order for my glasses to cover my eyes in a way that I can see, they have to be slanted and the lenses skewed. They look fine at a glance -- the lenses frame the same parts of my face -- but the frames are really wonky.


/rant

I don't hate my body, I really don't. But it's annoying when it's so asymmetrical that people notice. And I really wish I could wear maxi-dresses.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby AngrySquirrel » Wed Jan 11, 2012 9:57 am UTC

Body image triggery + rambly and incoherent:
Spoiler:
My thighs touch and got stretch-marks. My bum is weird and does this thing where it separates into two parts, one tight lower part and one flabby upper-part. My hips are wide and creaky and somehow manages to be both bony and flabby at the same time. My back in general is a major issue, it dangles on the sides, there's a lump on my neck that makes me look constantly slumped and I've got a weird patch of hair on my lower back. My upper arms looks like I could wrestle a bull. I've got a double chin, flabby cheeks and so dark rings around my eyes that I look constantly sick. My tummy is crooked, slightly more bulgy on the right side than on the left. My knees looks like someone's chopped them apart and put them together again wrong and I've got constantly bruises everywhere. My legs are like timbers and I'll never look good in a dress. My boobs sag and hurt like hell if I'm not extremely careful about what bras I wear. My toes and fingers are all crooked and point in different directions, my hair looks constantly greasy and my teeth are yellow. And I've still not mentioned my skin, which has about as many different climates as the earth itself. There's no part of my body I'm happy about. From my freakishly small fingers, to my blood-shot eyes and crooked nose, not one part of me fits with what is considered even "good enough" by societal standards. And you know what? That's okay. Society has demonstrated again and again that it can not be trusted with image-judgements and my general well being, I'd be completely irrational to listen to it. Society is like the crazy old aunt that rambles incoherently at family gatherings and that everyone should ignore. There's not really anything I can do about all these things, so why should I join the annual pity-party of January and give in to the weight-loss hysteria that seems to consuming every media? I'm gonna eat this bowl of pudding and I'm gonna enjoy it, society, and you've already done everything you can do to stop me.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Wed Jan 11, 2012 5:58 pm UTC

AS I love the last two sentences. That needs to be on posters.

More on body imagry....
Spoiler:
Ive noticed lately that my boobs are different sizes. And they seem to be growing. Or my body shrinking. I was okay with my body, but these changes, while I like that I am getting more toned, I'm having relearn to like my body and everything seems out of proporition and unmatching. Like, I have tummy flab still, but only in the front. You can see the sides of my abs but then there are these two huge bumps, one above waist one below, of flab. It's like...let's tone but leave huge nerfballs of flab just attached to your stomach. Nothing seems to help. I had to get new bras. Went from a 38DD at the place I get bras at - layne bryant fit and support well at least other than the different size issue now - to a 36DDD. I like my boobs I guess, and since the Mirena for some reason I have some sensation so they seem less like a random part of my body someone glued on. But my lower back is starting to get sore more and more often. I do love my one underbust corset but its not quite the right size and the one I made doesnt quite have the support either - I need to invest in one with 24 bones I think for more support. But it does help a lot. My lower back - this is confirmed by a massage therapist who is really good and happens to be a friend of mine I see like once a year at caving events - has over the last years developed extra curvature. Apparently my posture is very good. But this extra curvature makes my lower back sore often, and pushes my stomach with the two random nerf balls out in front of me. If you look at me from the side, I swear it looks like someone forgot to align my upper and lower body. My top half sits *in front* of my legs.

I have learned to like my body and feel good about it, I really have, but I hate that it is throwing more curve balls at me to figure out. People have suggested breast reduction, but all that's going to do is mess up my proporition look, and I do like my curves I think they look good. And that's not going to fix how my spine developed either. Spine is supported by core muscles, so I do try to work on strengthening mine but that's doing a good job of also enhancing the nerfballs on my tummy! There has to be a solution to this.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Shro » Wed Jan 11, 2012 6:29 pm UTC

Not only do I analyze every part of my body, but my face as well:
Spoiler:
I could go on and on about how I don't like my teeth or how my right eye is slightly smaller than my left eye. Or about how my face is a bit too wide and a bit too round. And how my lips are also asymmetrical, probably partially owing to the positioning of my teeth. My body dysmorphia has been lessened somewhat, now that my goal is a more athletic body instead of just a smaller one. I have some ridic delts, yo.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Wed Jan 11, 2012 7:15 pm UTC

While we have bilateral symmetry for the most part, at least on the outside, none of us are really really symmetrical. I'd bet half a dollar that nobody in this thread has two boobs exactly the same size- or two feet exactly the same size, for that matter.
I noticed something really odd the other day, though. My friend is an attractive man, and while I can visually tell that his face is asymmetrical a little, it is really rather hard to put a point on it. Everyone has their 'good side' or something, right. But then I looked at his reflection in a mirror, from across the room and I could really tell. Like if you put a face backward your brain thinks it's someone else, or something.
Shro, you take tons of pictures... do you ever look at a reversed picture and think it looks a lot different?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby semicharmed » Wed Jan 11, 2012 7:28 pm UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:I noticed something really odd the other day, though. My friend is an attractive man, and while I can visually tell that his face is asymmetrical a little, it is really rather hard to put a point on it. Everyone has their 'good side' or something, right. But then I looked at his reflection in a mirror, from across the room and I could really tell. Like if you put a face backward your brain thinks it's someone else, or something.


Also, if you take a picture straight-on of someone's face, and then split it down the middle and mirror the halves so that you then have a face that's leftside-revservedleftside and a face that's reversedrightside-rightside... it looks really, really, really weird.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Ashlah » Wed Jan 11, 2012 7:35 pm UTC

I'm not Shro, but that is definitely a Thing. People often don't like pictures of themselves because they're used to seeing their reflection in a mirror. The You that you're used to seeing is not the you the rest of the world sees. I imagine this is part of the reason people often leave their webcams reversed. They prefer to look at the reflected version of themselves that they know.

In the case of this guy, you're used to seeing him straight on, so seeing his reflection was startling. But it's the exact opposite for him!

This perception stuff is really interesting to me :)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Wed Jan 11, 2012 7:54 pm UTC

Speaking of hating pictures of yourself, I found out a good tip this holiday (spoilered just in case it triggers someone)
Spoiler:
It's for getting rid of the double chin that seems to plague me in photos, which is weird because I'm on the cusp of normal/underweight but somehow it's in my neck. Anyway, apparently you should make sure you're looking down when someone takes a photo of you - just a slight tilt downwards so you're below the plain of the camera, whereas for some reason I was always looking up, even though I didn't notice it. The double chin vanished.

Also, apparently clenching your teeth is supposed to make you look more defined or something, but I'm less clear about that.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:01 pm UTC

semicharmed wrote:Also, if you take a picture straight-on of someone's face, and then split it down the middle and mirror the halves so that you then have a face that's leftside-revservedleftside and a face that's reversedrightside-rightside... it looks really, really, really weird.


Re: That thing.

While I'm sure these people are attractive normally, here's an example of the leftleft rightright symmetry in photographs of people you don't know.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aiea » Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:25 pm UTC

I hate my current body, still not the right size 2.5 years post pregnancy, still too fat, still too out of shape, still too broken, and the stretch marks on my thighs aggghhh!.

And in other semi-related news, still not pregnant, I was really hoping for a miracle and going 2 for 2 on getting pregnant on my first round of clomid, but no such luck this time. I just hope that it'll actually happen again. Though I guess pregnancy still isn't exactly ruled out 100%, but the test said no and it should be past time when the test would give a difinitive answer, so really doubtful.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Shro » Wed Jan 11, 2012 9:28 pm UTC

The pictures I post are usually pictures taken with a webcam, and the images are reversed. What you see as my right side is actually my left side and my "good side". When posing for a staged photograph, I always try to present my left side. I tend to like images of my right side less than pictures taken from the left. I can tell the difference between reversed and right side photos because of this.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:01 am UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:none of us are really really symmetrical.


This is why my fiance measures many different parts of the body when creating garb and does a lot of fittings. Any tailor or seamstress does this and high-end couture people will actually make molds of their clients bodies in order to make perfectly fitted clothing. Ready-to-wear clothing isn't reflective of these differences and shouldn't be used to determine what is normal.

Now what pisses me off about this in retail:

Men's suits are mostly made to be altered and don't even come with hemmed pants. Even cheap ones!

Women's suits? Hah! Good luck getting decent alterations on a woman's suit.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:09 am UTC

i tend to alter my clothes myself. This is not an ideal solution, mind.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:12 am UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:i tend to alter my clothes myself. This is not an ideal solution, mind.


Due to accidents and whatnot, one side of my body is higher than the other so he has to do some interesting work to even things out. It's not an ideal solution but it's better than thinking that you have to somehow alter your body to make the clothes fit.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby AnnaArmour » Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:53 am UTC

poxic wrote:I'm having a googlefail and can't find a picture I'm thinking about. It was some sort of "ideal woman's legs" thing from a few decades ago. The model had her feet together, and held a quarter between her legs in each of the four spots that touched: between the ankles, calves, knees, and upper thighs.

A little late, but this reminds me of an article I read a while back about how women's bodies were judged in 1950s beauty pagents. It all seems so arbitrary. :|

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby semicharmed » Thu Jan 12, 2012 8:01 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:Re: That thing.

While I'm sure these people are attractive normally, here's an example of the leftleft rightright symmetry in photographs of people you don't know.


That's exactly the page/project I was thinking of. And yeah, while I'm sure all of these people are attractive, there's something disturbing about the mirrored faces.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:45 pm UTC

semicharmed wrote:
SexyTalon wrote:Re: That thing.

While I'm sure these people are attractive normally, here's an example of the leftleft rightright symmetry in photographs of people you don't know.


That's exactly the page/project I was thinking of. And yeah, while I'm sure all of these people are attractive, there's something disturbing about the mirrored faces.

This reminds me of why I find CG people weird and unrealistic.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby NovaNatalia » Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:51 pm UTC

Hello all, I thought I'd (nervously) introduce myself here ... I'm Natasha from the LGBTIQQA thread. I don't really have much to say, but thought, since I'm a woman, it would be good to introduce myself here ... gah, it's hard to make a coherent sentence.

What I wanted to say was:
Hello ♥
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:53 pm UTC

natashatasha wrote:Hello all, I thought I'd (nervously) introduce myself here ... I'm Natasha from the LGBTIQQA thread. I don't really have much to say, but thought, since I'm a woman, it would be good to introduce myself here ... gah, it's hard to make a coherent sentence.

What I wanted to say was:
Hello ♥

Hello and welcome!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Jan 12, 2012 4:20 pm UTC

semicharmed wrote:
SexyTalon wrote:Re: That thing.

While I'm sure these people are attractive normally, here's an example of the leftleft rightright symmetry in photographs of people you don't know.


That's exactly the page/project I was thinking of. And yeah, while I'm sure all of these people are attractive, there's something disturbing about the mirrored faces.

Part of it has to be the hair, but.. you do get a sense as to how unsymmetrical people's heads are with a couple of them. Particularly the guy with the shaved head ends up looking like two different people, same with this guy's jawline.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Thu Jan 12, 2012 4:37 pm UTC

natashatasha wrote:Hello all, I thought I'd (nervously) introduce myself here ... I'm Natasha from the LGBTIQQA thread. I don't really have much to say, but thought, since I'm a woman, it would be good to introduce myself here ... gah, it's hard to make a coherent sentence.

What I wanted to say was:
Hello ♥

Hi! :D Welcome to the thread! Your avatar is supercute.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby suffer-cait » Fri Jan 13, 2012 4:30 am UTC

all people are supposed to have asymmetric faces. Symmetric faces are supposed to creep you out. Babies don't react well to symmetrical faces.

also, i think this person might actually look a lot like me.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Felstaff » Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:34 am UTC

Strangely, the black man in the photograph looks like a fairly handsome, normal chap, whereas the non-blacks look freaky. Similarly with the right-hand picture of the black woman. Perhaps negroid facial bone structure is naturally more symmetrical than caucasoid or capoid. (Not including the ears, which are clearly significantly different. Then again, I'm not sure ears would count when looking at bone structure)

I have a wonderfully asymmetrical face. One eyebrow is an entire centimetre above the other one, giving me a look of perpetual curiosity. One eye is slanted (barely noticeably) a few degrees moreso than the other, and my smile favours my left-hand side. My Timmy's Apple is slanted, like a leaning sack of potatoes

Here's a badly-symmetrised pic of me & Mrs. Felstaff (spoilered for freaky)
Spoiler:
symmetry.PNG
symmetry.PNG (25.99 KiB) Viewed 4800 times
symmetrycherlynn.PNG
symmetrycherlynn.PNG (58.48 KiB) Viewed 4799 times


Re: body imagery talk ITT. I has a sad that it's such an issue for many of you.
suffer-cait wrote:also, i think this person might actually look a lot like me.
Heh. Not even close. (your unibrow is far more prominent for a start, like a forehedge. Kidding. You're actually rather beautiful.) The right one looks like if Steve Buscemi played a hippie version of Dobby the House Elf .
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby dubsola » Fri Jan 13, 2012 10:04 am UTC

Angua wrote:Anyway, apparently you should make sure you're looking down when someone takes a photo of you - just a slight tilt downwards so you're below the plain of the camera

My wife always tells me to hold the camera higher so that it's looking slightly down on the subject. Seems reasonable.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby sophyturtle » Fri Jan 13, 2012 5:44 pm UTC

I had the chin problem because I (without thinking about it) would pull my head back (to make sure I was in the frame or something) and remembering not to tuck my chin helps.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Роберт » Fri Jan 13, 2012 6:30 pm UTC

Felstaff wrote:Strangely, the black man in the photograph looks like a fairly handsome, normal chap, whereas the non-blacks look freaky. Similarly with the right-hand picture of the black woman.

I noticed that, too. My guess for the cause was the cross-race effect. So I didn't mention in because I thought if I did, it would be almost as bad as me saying "all black people look alike to me" which is idiotic.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby paulisa » Fri Jan 13, 2012 7:44 pm UTC

Роберт wrote:
Felstaff wrote:Strangely, the black man in the photograph looks like a fairly handsome, normal chap, whereas the non-blacks look freaky. Similarly with the right-hand picture of the black woman.

I noticed that, too. My guess for the cause was the cross-race effect. So I didn't mention in because I thought if I did, it would be almost as bad as me saying "all black people look alike to me" which is idiotic.


I think another contributing factor is the hair. Some of the people have really asymmetric hairdos, so they look weird when mirrored in the middle. But shaved is shaved, and the black woman's hair looks almost the same on both photos. I wonder why there's no one with a middle-part in their hair.
Also, if it was mostly due to the cross-race-effect, the other non-caucasians would look ok to me, but they don't.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby sophyturtle » Fri Jan 13, 2012 8:22 pm UTC

For some of the faces I was not sure if it was really the center. Thinner faces and wider noses on opposite sides.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Роберт » Fri Jan 13, 2012 10:02 pm UTC

sophyturtle wrote:For some of the faces I was not sure if it was really the center. Thinner faces and wider noses on opposite sides.

I don't think it was centered for all of them, but they may have been working with crooked noses or whatever and they did the best split they could.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Fri Jan 13, 2012 10:30 pm UTC

Apropos of a subject that sometimes comes up here:

Spoiler:
softerworld1.jpg
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby suffer-cait » Sat Jan 14, 2012 1:01 am UTC

Felstaff wrote:
suffer-cait wrote:also, i think this person might actually look a lot like me.
Heh. Not even close. (your unibrow is far more prominent for a start, like a forehedge. Kidding. You're actually rather beautiful.) The right one looks like if Steve Buscemi played a hippie version of Dobby the House Elf .

try split me then, for comparason. I'm actually quite curious as i know, mostly, where my face is off. both sides, yeah?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Sat Jan 14, 2012 1:10 am UTC

My best bad job of it -- you'll see where the shadows make it kinda odd:

Spoiler:
suffercait_leftside.jpg
SC's left side mirrored
suffercait_leftside.jpg (66.66 KiB) Viewed 4633 times

suffercait_rightside.jpg
SC's right side mirrored
suffercait_rightside.jpg (56.26 KiB) Viewed 4633 times


Edit: hmm, I think I made the leftside one a bit too narrow. It looked right at the time.
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby natraj » Sat Jan 14, 2012 1:32 am UTC

Роберт wrote:
Felstaff wrote:Strangely, the black man in the photograph looks like a fairly handsome, normal chap, whereas the non-blacks look freaky. Similarly with the right-hand picture of the black woman.

I noticed that, too. My guess for the cause was the cross-race effect. So I didn't mention in because I thought if I did, it would be almost as bad as me saying "all black people look alike to me" which is idiotic.


i am not sure that is the cause because i am black and noticed the same, to some degree at least. only mild degree, though, because to me most all the picture looked mostly fine, only slightly odd. maybe i have bad facial processing powers altogether.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby eaglewings51 » Sat Jan 14, 2012 3:16 am UTC

About symmetry, I heard somewhere that no one has ears that are exactly the same height on their head. Everyone has one ear that's slightly higher than the other. I don't know how true that is though.

About altering clothes, that's the best thing! My mom sews a lot and sewed lots of clothes for me and my sisters when I was little. Well, I've had these two button-front plaid shirts (that I purchased from Delia's) for over a year and I love them but I rarely wore them because they're really baggy. They're button front but I couldn't get a smaller size because the smaller size was too tight on my arms (I have pretty muscular arms). I'm home from college for the semester and my mom helped me take them in at the darts on the front and back and now they fit me perfectly! And you can't tell at all from just looking at the shirt that we did that. If you can't sew, find a tailor.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby suffer-cait » Sat Jan 14, 2012 3:18 am UTC

poxic wrote:My best bad job of it -- you'll see where the shadows make it kinda odd:

Spoiler:
suffercait_leftside.jpg

suffercait_rightside.jpg


Edit: hmm, I think I made the leftside one a bit too narrow. It looked right at the time.

Ah,Ha! thanks! the second one looks pretty normal. also just remembered that i have had my brows waxed for the first time ever, and now wish i hadn't. also, don't look like that girl after all, i guess.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Sun Jan 15, 2012 6:12 am UTC

So...I finished my steampunk corset. Wish the details would show better in the photos but thats ok. And I need like a light tan/kaki kind of colour shirt for under it. Thinking more a blousy type...but hard to find without buttons all down the front which is uncomfy under a corset. Open to suggestions...has to be cheap though =) I have black boots for that skirt so I just gotta get the top.

CorsetSteampunk 4_1.jpg


CorsetSteampunk 3_1.jpg


CorsetSteampunk 2_1.jpg
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