[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby esoteric » Tue Apr 15, 2008 5:10 am UTC

lorenith wrote:I've only had one opportunity to change a tire on my car, and some annoying old man of Asian decent came along and decided he'd do it for me because "it's a mans job."

Granted my puny self probably would have had some difficulty loosening the nuts, but I really would have much rather done it myself since I already knew how to do it...I mean it was one of the few things I remembered how to do exactly after being shown how 4 years ago, I feel like I was robbed a chance to actually carry out something I'd remembered for once. (Not to mention insulted by the "mans job" bit).

*grumble grumble grumble*

I guess I can't really complain about random friendly strangers though, even if two weeks later he shows up with his wife and harasses me in broken english for information about my new tires, and to write it down and tell him where exactly in this city I am not native to it is and how to get there.


What's with the racial overtones here? -poke poke-

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby Belial » Tue Apr 15, 2008 5:22 am UTC

Gharbad wrote:I even had to try once, and I failed to get the torque to get the nuts off.


Putting all your weight on the wrench helps. It's how I did it.
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby Moo » Tue Apr 15, 2008 6:45 am UTC

Thread split?
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.
Hawknc wrote:FFT: I didn't realise Proverbs 9:7-8 was the first recorded instance of "haters gonna hate"

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby eternal luna » Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:16 am UTC

GOD DAMN IT, sometimes I really hate some of these damn doctors. :evil:

Yesterday I went to my usual GP, and he said that he'd like to re-do the pap test because it wasn't at an ideal point in my cycle (PCOS- we never know where in my cycle I am until I start bleeding), but I was running late, so I let it go and said I'd be back in the next couple of days. I went back today, but he was off sick or something, so I just requested any doctor.

I'd been meaning to get tested for any possible STIs, as well as get my iron levels checked (vegetarian), and the conversation went like this:
Doctor - "Hi, how can I help you?"
Me - "Well there's three things, actually, I became a vegetarian about 4 months ago, and my dietitian mentioned that I should probably get regular iron tests."
Doctor - "That's fine, we can just do a blood test today."
Me - "I'd also like to get a pap test."

At this point she looks at me with an odd expression, turns back to the screen, then again to me and says: "You're 15."
Yes, thank you very much, I am aware of that.
"What on earth would you want with a pap test?"
Me - "Uhh... well... I need one."
Doctor - "No you don't, you can wait a couple of years."
Me - "But... I've been sexually active for a couple of years now-"
Doctor - "What else did you want?"
Me - "Um... an STI test?"
Doctor - "Why?"
Me - "Well, my partner asked me to."
Doctor - "How many partners have you had?"
Me - "Uh... I'm not too sure, but-"
Doctor - "It's highly unlikely you'll have any of the ones we do blood tests for, so I won't do that. And if you had herpes or warts, you'd see it. I can however give you the urine test for chlamydia."

Gah. I was too exhausted to fight back. I think I'll just call ahead and make sure my usual doctor is there next time, he seems to have some idea what he's doing.
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby Moo » Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:33 am UTC

(eternal luna, did you see my earlier post about the health risks and PCOS?)

Can't you make a complaint about this doctor and somehow keep it confidential!? Probably not, I guess, but that is very frustrating. Write an anonamous letter to their boss (sorry, when I'm angry I get childish). Grrrrrrrrr.
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.
Hawknc wrote:FFT: I didn't realise Proverbs 9:7-8 was the first recorded instance of "haters gonna hate"

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby eternal luna » Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:46 am UTC

I did see it, and was planning to bring it up with my parents tonight at dinner, but they didn't come home :?
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby lorenith » Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:51 pm UTC

esoteric wrote:
What's with the racial overtones here? -poke poke-


Racial over tones? He was Asian, him and his wife didn't speak very good English, did not understand it so well, and were being authorative with me about everything they wanted from me as if I could provide it when I made it known I couldn't povide it myself. That's no more Racial than "hey that guy was [race] and couldn't speak or understand English" it was a statement of fact. Ontop of that I don't appreciate having what I'm trying to do commandeered from me because "It's a mans job".

I normally don't mind dealling with people with bad English or understanding of, but having to deal with my obnoxious international student of a roommate (and all her noisy friends) who generally only allows me 4-5 hours of sleep on average, and is as a rule completely inconsiderate of me and the people living on either side of me regarding noise level at times.

Right now I'm a little on edge and would rather be left alone by everyone, let alone a pair of people that acts like I'm somehow expected to be able to meaningfully communiate quickly and effectively with them, and act like I'm a woman so I can't possibly do certain things anyway.

Just because I happen to look of Asian/Pacific Islander decent does not mean I can speak any language of Oceania or Asia, and just because I'm female doesn't mean I can't change the damn oil, the tire, or understand the concept that the donut on my car is smaller than the other tires and needs replacing.

I may have felt less annoyed with him on later encouters if he hadn't implied I couldn't change the tire because I'm female. I hate that, it's an easy way to piss me off and cause me to resent you forever, is to imply I can't do something souly based on my Sex.

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby DJorgensen » Tue Apr 15, 2008 2:55 pm UTC

Belial wrote:
Gharbad wrote:I even had to try once, and I failed to get the torque to get the nuts off.


Putting all your weight on the wrench helps. It's how I did it.

And here, I just have no problem when using a tire iron to change tires. 8)
I don't really have an advantage with weight.

Though when the oil pan plug ceased and became stripped, that gave me a couple of hours of trouble. I eventually did get it off on my own but managed to really kill my back off in the process.
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby Jessica » Tue Apr 15, 2008 5:52 pm UTC

Belial wrote:
Gharbad wrote:I even had to try once, and I failed to get the torque to get the nuts off.


Putting all your weight on the wrench helps. It's how I did it.


They were rusted on pretty well.
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby shidobu » Tue Apr 15, 2008 6:09 pm UTC

Belial wrote:
Gharbad wrote:I even had to try once, and I failed to get the torque to get the nuts off.


Putting all your weight on the wrench helps. It's how I did it.


My sister (who is a rather small person) keeps a length of metal pipe alongside her tire-iron in her car so that she has the extra leverage to make sure she can remove lug nuts when necessary. (if it isn't clear, the pipe goes over the end of the iron and acts as a handle extension. longer handle = more torque at the nut)

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby dourcynic » Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:57 am UTC

lorenith wrote:Racial over tones? He was Asian, him and his wife didn't speak very good English


Irony must be in season.

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby zahlman » Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:13 am UTC

eternal luna wrote:GOD DAMN IT, sometimes I really hate some of these damn doctors. :evil:
Doctor - "It's highly unlikely you'll have any of the ones we do blood tests for, so I won't do that. And if you had herpes or warts, you'd see it. I can however give you the urine test for chlamydia."

Gah. I was too exhausted to fight back. I think I'll just call ahead and make sure my usual doctor is there next time, he seems to have some idea what he's doing.


If it makes you feel any better, I got basically the same routine from a walk-in clinic, based on only having had sex a couple of times; and I'm male and 26. And FWIW, I felt somewhat more at ease as a result.

(Blood tests are for what... HIV, syphilis, anything else?)

parkaboy wrote:funny, about that. we just read a story that was published in the early 70s by a known feminist that got other feminists PISSED AS HELL because it implied that maybe there was some biological reason males turned out to be the more dominant gender. of course, it was her goal to rile people up so... mission accomplished i guess. I can't for the life of me remember what the story was though. I'll look it up tomorrow.


My reaction to this depends on the meaning of "dominant" in this context.
Belial wrote:I once had a series of undocumented and nonstandardized subjective experiences that indicated that anecdotal data is biased and unreliable.

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby lorenith » Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:32 am UTC

dourcynic wrote:
lorenith wrote:Racial over tones? He was Asian, him and his wife didn't speak very good English


Irony must be in season.


People that fail at reading whole posts must be in season too.

I don't see it as racial considering it's no difference then maybe my grandfather saying "so this white guy that couldn't speak or understand tagalong very well was harassing me today, even though I told him I couldn't help, but he kept harassing me and talking down at me for some reason."

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:25 am UTC

eternal luna wrote:GOD DAMN IT, sometimes I really hate some of these damn doctors. :evil:

Yesterday I went to my usual GP, and he said that he'd like to re-do the pap test because it wasn't at an ideal point in my cycle (PCOS- we never know where in my cycle I am until I start bleeding), but I was running late, so I let it go and said I'd be back in the next couple of days. I went back today, but he was off sick or something, so I just requested any doctor.

I'd been meaning to get tested for any possible STIs, as well as get my iron levels checked (vegetarian), and the conversation went like this:
Doctor - "Hi, how can I help you?"
Me - "Well there's three things, actually, I became a vegetarian about 4 months ago, and my dietitian mentioned that I should probably get regular iron tests."
Doctor - "That's fine, we can just do a blood test today."
Me - "I'd also like to get a pap test."

At this point she looks at me with an odd expression, turns back to the screen, then again to me and says: "You're 15."
Yes, thank you very much, I am aware of that.
"What on earth would you want with a pap test?"
Me - "Uhh... well... I need one."
Doctor - "No you don't, you can wait a couple of years."
Me - "But... I've been sexually active for a couple of years now-"
Doctor - "What else did you want?"
Me - "Um... an STI test?"
Doctor - "Why?"
Me - "Well, my partner asked me to."
Doctor - "How many partners have you had?"
Me - "Uh... I'm not too sure, but-"
Doctor - "It's highly unlikely you'll have any of the ones we do blood tests for, so I won't do that. And if you had herpes or warts, you'd see it. I can however give you the urine test for chlamydia."

Gah. I was too exhausted to fight back. I think I'll just call ahead and make sure my usual doctor is there next time, he seems to have some idea what he's doing.



This, This Shit Right Here?

This is what we in the business like to call FUCKING BULLSHIT.

DO NOT, EVER, TAKE SHIT FROM A DOCTOR.
Yes, they have a medical degree, yes, they know the ins and outs of the human body... but if those fuckers don't learn how to LISTEN when their patient talks, they don't deserve the money they make, end of story. When you DO see your real doctor, be sure to tell him how this idiot screwed up, at length. He should make sure that this second doctor gets a good hard asshole-tearing, and if he doesn't, then he's doing it wrong too.

The tests you were asking for were elective for you... So if you bloody well ask for one, you get it. If she doesn't want to take time out of her busy schedule to give you what you've asked for, kick her the fuck out of your room and get the nurse to bring you someone else. Feel free to shout. She'd deserve it. Do not let doctors fuck you around just because you're young. Screw that shit.

Damn I hate it when doctors don't listen.
Heyyy baby wanna kill all humans?

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby Moo » Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:45 am UTC

.. which is shockingly (and seemingly internationally) often.
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.
Hawknc wrote:FFT: I didn't realise Proverbs 9:7-8 was the first recorded instance of "haters gonna hate"

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby Jessica » Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:33 pm UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:Damn I hate it when doctors don't listen.

Oh god, I hear you there.
Personally, I've had a pretty good time with doctors... pretty good. Sometimes they were quacks, but the worst they did was instead of trying to figure out what the problem was, told me to eat better. So yeah, that wasn't great.

But, a friend of mine lives in near constant pain because of gallstones. She's had them for a year. Her doctor just won't schedual the tests, or the referral or anything so she can have her gallbladder removed. She has to take non-morphine based painkillers which are habit forming and give her hallusenations. All because her doctor is a retard.
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby DJorgensen » Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:06 pm UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:Damn I hate it when doctors don't listen.

Yeah I am getting infuriated at mine now. I hate to feel the need to come down hard on him, but its gotta happen. He had better return my call today....
I just can't stand sitting here twitching anymore (literally, as a bit of a side effect of spironolactone, and for the sake that I'm just swimming in anxiety).
I feel like I am painted into a corner, and I absolutely cannot stand being in control of things - especially my own life...
Ug. This is no fun... :"(
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby Sebeka2 » Wed Apr 16, 2008 4:33 pm UTC

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby Moo » Wed Apr 16, 2008 5:23 pm UTC

I am so lucky, my mom took me to a gyn immediately when she realised my irregular periods weren't normal and he was great. He just so happened to be an expert in hormones and told me that most other doctors are sadly behind the times when it comes to PCOS diagnosis. He was lovely. Also, my mom is not the sort of person who objected to me being put on the pill at 16 for this reason.

I'm looking forward to being able to going to go see him for a checkup when I visit home in December especially since Hubby and I have been talking about kids maybe next year... oh my that is a Big Scary thought...
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.
Hawknc wrote:FFT: I didn't realise Proverbs 9:7-8 was the first recorded instance of "haters gonna hate"

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby parkaboy » Wed Apr 16, 2008 5:30 pm UTC

sooo i've decided to hop on down to a planned parenthood next week to discuss BC options. I'll probably just go pill route, as i've used it before and its not a problem for me... but i've never even been NEAR one of these places... i assume they know their stuff, and the website i've scoured looks pretty awesome but i still like to get firsthand experiences... anyone ever been? had tests or exams done? know what kind of BC they generally suggest, or do they really take it case by case?
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby Sebeka2 » Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:09 pm UTC

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby PictureSarah » Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:15 pm UTC

In my experience, if you don't have a kind of BC in mind that you'd like, they'll suggest the pill with the lowest possible dose of hormones. Which is good. One thing to be aware of, if they are not being very forthcoming with information about side effects and such, ask them. Repeatedly. With emphasis. They didn't volunteer any side effects of the Depo Provera for me, and when I asked about them, they told me they were very rare and probably would be nothing to worry about. It ended up being catastrophic for me. All my other experiences (annual exam, pill prescription, NuvaRing prescription, HPV vaccinations, pregnancy test) they've been really good and helpful. The only other complaint I have is that once in a while I'll have anti-abortion protesters outside holding signs and yelling at me on the way in.
FWIW, I recommend the NuvaRing. Less side effects than the pill because the hormones are released locally, can't forget to take it, because you just leave it in for three weeks, and periods are pretty short and less heinous than they could be.
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby sophyturtle » Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:20 pm UTC

I had a flat. Was changing it. A guy pulls over and asks if I need help. I say no. He stands there watching me take of the tire. I go to the truck to get the spare.

AND Bam! What do I see when I get back but him in front of where I was, taking the spare from me to finish.

This is why I get snippy... I let him finish it. I should have yelled at him.
I am sure he thought he was being nice, but I already told him I was all set...
I want to get to a place where I am neither conforming nor rebelling but simply being.

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby parkaboy » Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:32 pm UTC

It was nice of him to stop and offer help, but he should have gone away when you said you were fine. Still, it was sweet of him to help ANYway, if not incredibly annoying (i can change my own flats too and a small number of other car type dealies, and i got annoyed when my dad tried to help)
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby sophyturtle » Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:36 pm UTC

It gave me time to smoke a cigarette, which is nice.
I want to get to a place where I am neither conforming nor rebelling but simply being.

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Wed Apr 16, 2008 7:30 pm UTC

parkaboy wrote:sooo i've decided to hop on down to a planned parenthood next week to discuss BC options. I'll probably just go pill route, as i've used it before and its not a problem for me... but i've never even been NEAR one of these places... i assume they know their stuff, and the website i've scoured looks pretty awesome but i still like to get firsthand experiences... anyone ever been? had tests or exams done? know what kind of BC they generally suggest, or do they really take it case by case?


The PP near me is a pretty big place, and I've been there a few times for IUD-related issues, so I haven't talked to them specifically about HBC, but they seem pretty well-rounded. If you want to you will see a real human doctor for a real human doctor's appointment, and they should not be weird and just give you a standard answer- I have had every visit consist of a female doctor listening to my concerns and helping me out in a very effective way. And cheaply, too...

But if yours is like mine, try not to make eye contact with the protesters. Fools.
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby Belial » Wed Apr 16, 2008 7:34 pm UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:But if yours is like mine, try not to make eye contact with the protesters. Fools.


Or pick (a male) one and say:

"Well, yesterday, you told me to abort our baby. If you can't make up your mind, this relationship is over."
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They/them

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby parkaboy » Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:06 pm UTC

NICE.

although protesters don't bother me. i'll stop and have a chat with them and see if i can grasp WHY they are so upset, on an individual basis, outside of the hive mind (no offense, bees)
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby sophyturtle » Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:20 pm UTC

I keep meaning to volunteer for them (PP). I think they do good things.
Plus I know non-violent restrain, you know, to deal with protesters without jail... (non-violent in the no marks or real damage way, but the discomfort and embarrassment factor for most people larger than me when I restrain them, fun for me...)
I don't like protesters of my rights.

And for the doctors being nice, I find doctors in clinics are much more comfortable with questions than those in more stuffy places because the ones getting paid less tend to be there more to help people then to schedule as many as possible for the most profit.
I want to get to a place where I am neither conforming nor rebelling but simply being.

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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby gmalivuk » Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:43 pm UTC

sophyturtle wrote:I keep meaning to volunteer for them (PP). I think they do good things.

I was actually thinking about looking into clinic escorting, since I'm pretty free during the daytime anyway and that's something I did when I was in college. Meaux, do you know if the PP or any other clinics nearby could use that sort of help?
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby ascendingPig » Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:51 pm UTC

PictureSarah wrote:In my experience, if you don't have a kind of BC in mind that you'd like, they'll suggest the pill with the lowest possible dose of hormones.

Really? Because my doctor didn't just put me on the pill for regulation, she was also hoping to actually prevent nasty cysts and regulate my hormones, which meant she had to give me one with the right hormones to balance me out (Yazmin for me).
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby gmalivuk » Wed Apr 16, 2008 9:02 pm UTC

parkaboy wrote:outside of the hive mind (no offense, bees)

Also no offense to me and Meaux and Belial and Girl and Will (and hopefully Helen), I hope, since Meaux decided that the lot of us would have to be called the Hive Mind when we're all living together (or at least maybe those of us who are clones of each other, based on postings on here).
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:54 pm UTC

I used to volunteer with the Planned Parenthood on Commonwealth Ave, they still email me. It's a good thing to do, and easy.
They need clinic escorts especially on Saturdays when the protesters all show up. But since it's Boston, they're prettymuch low-key protests compared the stuff you usually see on the news, and I'm pretty sure they just made the buffer zone larger so it's not particularly dangerous or anything.
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby eternal luna » Thu Apr 17, 2008 12:32 am UTC

Gah. I told my mother that I need to talk to her and dad about the pill, but I didn't want to talk to just her about it- and what does she do? She completely avoids me since. I'm really struggling to understand this, it's like they're saying "Just as long as you're not having safe sex."

I went to my doctor and got a prescription for a pill that probably won't have the same agonising-headache-all-day-long effect, and when I come home the next day, she asked me what it was, and, when I replied, promptly threw it in the bin.

Can someone please give me list of problems they know are associated with PCOS? I don't really trust wikipedia or a bunch of the sites out there. I need to corner them about this tonight, because this is just getting ridiculous.

Edit: To be slightly fairer, I think she's avoiding the issue so that my dad doesn't freak out and have a heart attack or something. I don't know, that seems to be her excuse a lot lately.
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby parkaboy » Thu Apr 17, 2008 12:51 am UTC

gmalivuk wrote:
parkaboy wrote:outside of the hive mind (no offense, bees)

Also no offense to me and Meaux and Belial and Girl and Will (and hopefully Helen), I hope, since Meaux decided that the lot of us would have to be called the Hive Mind when we're all living together (or at least maybe those of us who are clones of each other, based on postings on here).


That's who i meant. the first time i heard "Hive Mind" i thought "that house will be COVERED IN BEES!" so now i just think of the collective you as "bees".
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Thu Apr 17, 2008 1:36 am UTC

I always imagine a deep, low, ominous hum in the background when i think of us all living together.
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby parkaboy » Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:33 am UTC

that sounds very soothing, actually. like the hum of a clothes dryer, only spooky. I will probably take random naps there a lot.
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby Moo » Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:53 am UTC

Eternal Luna, maybe the most authoritive source to take to your parents is a doctor? I don't suppose you could get your mom to come with you to your doctor to talk about PCOS? Or get him to write them a letter?
Otherwise head on over to a bookstore, there are many books about PCOS. I don't have any, so I can't make any recommendations, but my neighbour has tons of helpful ones that I've borrowed from time to time.
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby Belial » Thu Apr 17, 2008 2:54 pm UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:I always imagine a deep, low, ominous hum in the background when i think of us all living together.


......you realize I'll have to go record a beehive, and set something up to play the recording in the living room 24/7, right?
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Re: Woman thread - Is it as good for you as it is for me?

Postby gmalivuk » Thu Apr 17, 2008 2:58 pm UTC

Belial wrote:
Meaux_Pas wrote:I always imagine a deep, low, ominous hum in the background when i think of us all living together.

......you realize I'll have to go record a beehive, and set something up to play the recording in the living room 24/7, right?

Hell, Tom didn't say anything to us about insect pets, did he? I say we just get one of those transparent indoor beehives (with tubes running to the outside) like they have in museums and stuff. Free honey for everyone!
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