[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby Noc » Tue Oct 21, 2008 1:47 pm UTC

"Godwin's Finger?"
Have you given up?

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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby bigglesworth » Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:01 pm UTC

dubsola wrote:I don't even like it when people point their fingers at other people. Y'know, when someone is yelling at someone else and accentuating their words with finger pointing. Worse still, poking in the chest.

It's meant to be indimitating, and makes me think: "If you can't make your point without raising your hand, you automatically lose".


If they're yelling, they're already trying to be intimidating with their voice. If you looked at their face, you would see them trying to look intimidating, subconsciously. It's another bit of body language to use the hands. In other words, you're saying that being visibly angry and losing your temper about something makes you wrong. And I think that the sentiments expressed further up this thread disagree with that.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby dubsola » Tue Oct 21, 2008 4:31 pm UTC

bigglesworth wrote:If they're yelling, they're already trying to be intimidating with their voice. If you looked at their face, you would see them trying to look intimidating, subconsciously. It's another bit of body language to use the hands. In other words, you're saying that being visibly angry and losing your temper about something makes you wrong. And I think that the sentiments expressed further up this thread disagree with that.

I see what you're saying, but disagree. It is possibly to be angry without intending to intimidate someone, subconsciously or otherwise. And I'll hazard that pointing in someone's face is always intentional.

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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby Moo » Tue Oct 21, 2008 4:33 pm UTC

I'm so sorry, I know you guys are totally having a valid serious discussion, but I am overcome by mirth at the idea of someone whose finger keeps unintentionally pointing in someone's face. "I'm sorry, it does that". It's been a looong day and the coffee at work ran out yesterday (send help!!!!)
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby bigglesworth » Tue Oct 21, 2008 4:44 pm UTC

dubsola wrote:I see what you're saying, but disagree. It is possibly to be angry without intending to intimidate someone, subconsciously or otherwise. And I'll hazard that pointing in someone's face is always intentional.


Without quite meaning to, in the past I have pointed my finger against a family member I was arguing with. Intentional? Not really. A "heat of the moment" thing. Not in someone's face, but yeah. And yes, it is possible to be angry without losing your cool. But not everyone can remain calm, all of the time.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby crowey » Tue Oct 21, 2008 4:59 pm UTC

I find calm angry is often more scary than shouty angry.

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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby Jessica » Tue Oct 21, 2008 5:03 pm UTC

crowey wrote:I find calm angry is often more scary than shouty angry.

True. I... well, I like to see shouty angry because then I know that the other person feel something, and, well, they might not be logical, but they're boiling over.

calm angry is... well, rational. It's subdued. It looked like the person isn't really feeling anything, but you can still see the anger in there. It's the kind of anger that really could mess with someone.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby H.E.L.e.N. » Tue Oct 21, 2008 5:39 pm UTC

dubsola wrote:
bigglesworth wrote:If they're yelling, they're already trying to be intimidating with their voice. If you looked at their face, you would see them trying to look intimidating, subconsciously. It's another bit of body language to use the hands. In other words, you're saying that being visibly angry and losing your temper about something makes you wrong. And I think that the sentiments expressed further up this thread disagree with that.

I see what you're saying, but disagree. It is possibly to be angry without intending to intimidate someone, subconsciously or otherwise. And I'll hazard that pointing in someone's face is always intentional.


I kind of side with dubs -- getting physically in someone's face is when you start sliding from 'angry' to 'physical threats' and the latter makes everything worse.

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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby cephalopod9 » Tue Oct 21, 2008 6:31 pm UTC

This thread has taken some odd turns...
I don't have much to add, as I tend to not interact with people more than is strictly necessary (being just shorter than the average line of sight, kind of pudgy and not bathing help too) so I can't talk much about unwanted attention.
Never really been in a fight either.

But in other news, Yay for nice sales assistants and reasonably replaced merchandices. So long as I don't think to much about why I'm buying a $50 garment for the purpose of reshaping my breasts, things are good.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby Jessica » Tue Oct 21, 2008 7:38 pm UTC

I want a nice warm trenchcoat for winter. I should look for one.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby hestia » Tue Oct 21, 2008 8:27 pm UTC

Interestingly enough, a friend of mine just experienced what I insist was an assault and I wish some of our mutual friends would read this section of the thread. Her ex boyfriend had been trying to get her to have a conversation with him about how he still loves her even though he is dating someone else or something like that and at the end of the discussion he stormed off, came back, and slapped her across the face and said "this is what it feels like every time you walk in the room" and stormed off again. I was happy to find out that the school reacted as soon as they knew and escorted him off campus, had a judicial board hearing and made him switch the classes he was in with her and kicked him out of her housing program. What was so odd though was so many people said things like "It didn't hurt? Well, it was just a crime of passion, not such a big deal" and things like that. It was actually really hard for my friend not to think of herself that way. Right, it didn't hurt her very much at all, but it was still wholly inappropriate. I was really surprised to hear about this happening at my little school with my group of friends who all tend to be rather feminist minded folks. I suppose it just goes to show what everyone has been saying, bad shit can happen anywhere, even among seemingly decent people. I am just glad the school reacted, unlike my middle school experiences, gosh, it did not seem to matter how many times I reported what the popular boys said to me, the administration never seemed to care.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby crystal_owl » Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:20 pm UTC

Girlies, I am having a mahoosive essay crisis! :( Need to finish this one for tomorrow morning, then write another (much more complicated one) by Friday morning. Why, why, why did I come to Oxford??? As you can tell by the fact I'm posting here instead of writing an essay, I lack motivation for my studies... stupid outrageous workload. *grumble*
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby crowey » Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:26 pm UTC

Ah, it's not Oxford unless you're having an essay crisis :wink:
Good luck with it (my best essay ever was started at 3am the day it was due.....) :)

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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby crystal_owl » Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:29 pm UTC

I think I may give up for now, and get up early to finish it...schleepy times are calling!
You're right though, essay crises are a central part of the Oxford experience - it's just not an experience I particularly want to have!
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:11 am UTC

I personally think undue stress is a detriment of our education systems.

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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby hermaj » Wed Oct 22, 2008 11:29 am UTC

Me too, actually, my braids come out pretty wonky. And I was so excited about my hair being long enough to braid.

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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby dubsola » Wed Oct 22, 2008 11:42 am UTC

bigglesworth wrote:Without quite meaning to, in the past I have pointed my finger against a family member I was arguing with. Intentional? Not really. A "heat of the moment" thing. Not in someone's face, but yeah. And yes, it is possible to be angry without losing your cool. But not everyone can remain calm, all of the time.

I'm saying you should *try* to. And if you lose your cool to the point of doing that, you need to stop, cool off, and come back.

Jessica wrote:calm angry is... well, rational. It's subdued. It looked like the person isn't really feeling anything, but you can still see the anger in there. It's the kind of anger that really could mess with someone.

Let's take a few examples:
1. I am angry that a parking inspector is giving me a ticket. I can either go apoplectic and either amuse him or her, or scare him or her and make his or her day worse. Either way, I'm not really gaining anything, I don't like adversely affecting other people's days, and the ticket is not worth it anyway. If it were a cop, I could be arrested or harassed, which a lot of them do when you don't submit to their authoritah, and so I'd prefer to keep my cool and disparage them more subtly, if I want to. Not in a way that would get me arrested.
2. I am arguing with a family member, because he has said something racist. I know he doesn't respect yelling, so I'll try to keep my cool. I am visibly angry, though. Can't help it.
3. I am arguing with my Italian boss, who, from past experience, only really takes notice when people are passionate. So I'll be passionate. But there's no need for pointing - that crosses the line, as helen has pointed out.
4. I am having a "row with the misses" (no, I'm not serious). She knows when I'm upset, and I don't want her to ever feel intimidated by me. So I try to keep my cool.

Yeah. No pointing, y'all. Also, shouty angry can be hilarious, when it's not directed at you (and sometimes when it is). Think Dr. Kelso from Scrubs.

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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby crystal_owl » Wed Oct 22, 2008 1:31 pm UTC

If braiding is what we call plaiting here in the uk, then just keep practice is the key! It took me quite a while to get the hang of, but now I'm really good at it, and plait my hair all the time, sometimes in a normal plait, sometimes in french plaits, which are harder.

Wet hair is easier to plait than dry hair, as it's less flyaway and easier to grip, so if you're having trouble then wash your hair (or just wet it, I suppose) and plait it when it's towel dry. I often do this and sleep with it in plaits, so when I take it out the next day it's nice and wavy.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby dragon » Wed Oct 22, 2008 1:50 pm UTC

Huh. I'd always interpreted "braid" to mean a more complex plait, that takes more hair up with each motion. Internet says this is actually a french braid, and that braid and plait are interchangeable.

Anyway. I can plait my own hair with some difficulty, and would like to be able to french braid it also, but so far can only make it work on others.

Speaking of which, one of my male friends has the most marvelous hair! Long and straight and quite healthy, down past his bottom. And he doesn't mind a select few playing with it. :D







Delicious misinterpretations.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby bigglesworth » Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:06 pm UTC

dubsola wrote:
bigglesworth wrote:Without quite meaning to, in the past I have pointed my finger against a family member I was arguing with. Intentional? Not really. A "heat of the moment" thing. Not in someone's face, but yeah. And yes, it is possible to be angry without losing your cool. But not everyone can remain calm, all of the time.

I'm saying you should *try* to. And if you lose your cool to the point of doing that, you need to stop, cool off, and come back.


And I agree with you. I *do* try to keep my cool. I'm almost always successful in that, and it was an isolated incident.

But the fact that I lost my cool did not make me "lose". My feelings about the way they treated me were not invalidated by the fact that I pointed a finger.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby sophyturtle » Wed Oct 22, 2008 4:43 pm UTC

Problem with shoes!
I have been wearing these shoes for about 1 hours and already have blisters and skin that my shoes thought I did not need so they removed it. It's not like they are new, but it seems my feet may have grown in the past 7 years...
Stupid shoes. Stupid not having another pair to save my feet with. I have bandages, but they too are being removed. At least now that I am in my office I would have to walk around for a while.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Wed Oct 22, 2008 4:49 pm UTC

Moleskin? That's my favorite solution.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby Rinsaikeru » Wed Oct 22, 2008 4:56 pm UTC

Moleskin is great stuff. My biggest problem is that my heel is narrow so any dress shoe that doesn't have a mary jane or t-strap is likely to chafe. I do have some great dance shoes with nice straps (or the one pair of lace up wedges I have). I need a secure heel strap that can be tightened.

I have tried adding padding to the back of shoes with little success. I think strappy shoes are just the way to go for my feet.

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Has anyone around bought a garter belt/stockings? I'm considering (because I really hate pantyhose) I'd like some purchase tips if there are any. Alternatively--advice on procuring and putting on pantyhose without fuss or laddering and without my howls of frustration. Also...why do they always roll down at the top..it'd be so lovely if pantyhose would just STAY. Grargh...
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby existential_elevator » Wed Oct 22, 2008 5:04 pm UTC

I find stockings ladder far more quickly than tights [pantyhose, I guess] do, largely because of the way in which they're fastened to the garter. The tricky thing really is getting everything in the right size and length that the garter isn't visible [unless, well, you want it visible, which is also a valid concern - but I'd still suggest a subtlely side- slitted skirt over a short one]. You will have movement restriction if the straps don't have enough slack.

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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby Jessica » Wed Oct 22, 2008 5:19 pm UTC

I wish I knew how to braid my own hair. I've tried and tried, and... just can't do it.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby Rinsaikeru » Wed Oct 22, 2008 5:22 pm UTC

I tend to wear longer skirts (probably just above to just below knee length on average). I see what you mean about stocking length to garter strap length ratio though--that could be motion restricting.

I have trouble getting pantyhose to stay up though. I really hate the control top ones too. :P

I tend to wear high waisted skirts with button down shirts tucked in (kinda 1940sish if i can manage it). This requires tucking the shirt INTO the pantyhose. Yes, I know that sounds kinda weird but it really helps the look. Trouble is that the shirt won't usually stay or the pantyhose start rolling at the top. Maybe I'm using the wrong brand/type. *sigh* I thought a garter might help the problem.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby existential_elevator » Wed Oct 22, 2008 5:30 pm UTC

Jessica wrote:I wish I knew how to braid my own hair. I've tried and tried, and... just can't do it.

It's like doing it to someone else...but inside out, if that makes sense. Braid other people lots, and then use a mirror on you and pretend you're someone else. They'll be rubbish at first, but you'll get there. Took me a good few years. Even now I make them quite uneven. And forget french plaits, I assume you need some kind of degree for that.

Rinsaikeru wrote:I tend to wear high waisted skirts with button down shirts tucked in (kinda 1940sish if i can manage it). This requires tucking the shirt INTO the pantyhose. Yes, I know that sounds kinda weird but it really helps the look. Trouble is that the shirt won't usually stay or the pantyhose start rolling at the top. Maybe I'm using the wrong brand/type. *sigh* I thought a garter might help the problem.


It sounds like you might be wearing a size too big. This is going to sound crazy, but I wear age 11-12 tights, because, well, they actually fit where a size s/m won't hold up. A garter might help, but from the sound of the look it might not sit high enough for you to tuck the shirt in right? I mean, I am very pro stockings+suspenders, because they make you feel sexy as hell, but they are really quite awkward and time consuming sometimes.

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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby Rinsaikeru » Wed Oct 22, 2008 5:41 pm UTC

I might try that, because the labels on pantyhose are very vague--who knows what size I should be wearing...though the size I currently buy is damned hard enough to get into as it is. Maybe I should buy one size up and one size down and do a test trial on the subject. I suppose the rolling could also be because they're too small...maybe? As shaping ones are tighter (though I loathe them) they might be a shirt tuck in solution.

I'll have to get garters anyway though, cuz they sure are sexy as hell. :P
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Wed Oct 22, 2008 5:47 pm UTC

I turned to garters because I have this pantyhose rolling down problem as well. Unfortunately my legs are so fat I generally can't find any that really fit my height (or perhaps I should say shortness) and my weight at the same time. The only things that seem to work are low-rise tights from the Gap.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby Rinsaikeru » Wed Oct 22, 2008 6:02 pm UTC

I lost weight in the past couple years because i sorted out that I'm gluten intolerant..so sizing is always very confusing for me as a rule.

The pantyhose here seem to be sized by letter with some sort of spreadsheet on the back explaining what the heck the letters mean. Right now I'm getting the size C but I'm taking e_e's suggestion that it might be a size thing and trying a B and D to see where I ought to be--ignoring the size chart. :P
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby Delalyra » Wed Oct 22, 2008 7:47 pm UTC

I think GirlTM posted some tips about garters in this thread once... *rummages* Yes, here. Have at it!
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby sophyturtle » Wed Oct 22, 2008 7:53 pm UTC

I have a garter belt like thing, in that it has the straps and such to hold them up. It also has like 25 eye-hooks and cannot be worn with something that would in any way not cover my stomach. Of course, I tear through things (even my fishnets have runs in them) to the point it is mostly just sitting in my dresser waiting for me to buy womanly under garments.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby Moo » Wed Oct 22, 2008 8:05 pm UTC

Can't you just tuck your shirt into your undies? That's what I used to do with school shirts. Or maybe I understand the desired effect totally wrong :) I kinda skimmed.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby Rinsaikeru » Wed Oct 22, 2008 10:21 pm UTC

My underwear doesn't go up high enough. o_o

I tend for bikini or low rise underpants...or boyshorts. Other than that Moo, the suggestion would be a sound one.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby GhostWolfe » Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:31 am UTC

Hair braiding is just practice. Then again, I had a lot of My Little Ponies as a kid, so I got a lot of practice in early.

I wrote this guide, but my hair still isn't long enough for photos.

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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby PictureSarah » Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:43 am UTC

On other people I can do double french braids, french braids that come up from the bottom of the head and end up in a bun on top, french braids that look like hearts on the back of the head...On myself, nope. No french braids. Most I can manage is regular pigtails or a braided ponytail or bun.
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby GhostWolfe » Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:48 am UTC

PictureSarah wrote:french braids that come up from the bottom of the head and end up in a bun on top.
I want to do this on my hair, but I *really* don't have the patience to hang upside down for long enough. >_>

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Flying Betty
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby Flying Betty » Thu Oct 23, 2008 2:09 am UTC

Ooh, that looks like fun! I will have to try this out when I'm not on the phone.
Belial wrote:The future is here, and it is cyberpunk as hell.

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cephalopod9
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby cephalopod9 » Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:09 am UTC

Rinsaikeru wrote:I have glow in the dark nail polish! er...yeah unrelated, but still really exciting.

That stuff is so fun! I haven't been able to find it in a long time, where did you get it from? Now that I think about it, I don't know where the bottle I had came from.
Also fun, cutting stensils out of masking tape.

Braids are fun too. I keep meaning to do more with my hair then braided pigtails... four piece braids are neat. Although I don't like styles that pull my hair straight back, so I don't often go for french braids.
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EeveE
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Re: Woman thread - NO HOMERS CLUB

Postby EeveE » Thu Oct 23, 2008 7:14 am UTC

cephalopod9 wrote:Braids are fun too. I keep meaning to do more with my hair then braided pigtails... four piece braids are neat. Although I don't like styles that pull my hair straight back, so I don't often go for french braids.


Braids are fun, and cute. I wish I could braid my hair and not look like I am 12 >_<
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