Boy Thread: put a hat on ur butt

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Jan 24, 2008 3:56 pm UTC

I like using my eyes as well, but yeah.. read it. Use a syringe to suck the words off the page and inject it straight into your eye-holes and work it in to your brainstem.
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby mrorange » Fri Jan 25, 2008 4:25 am UTC

for some reason that last image just appeared to me as an incredibly surrealist cartoon sequence...
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby EsotericWombat » Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:25 am UTC

parkaboy wrote:*eyes The Hero With a Thousand Faces, which has been sitting, neglected, on the shelf for some time* so thats what i've been missing, eh? hmm...

Belial wrote:Read it.

READ IT WITH YOUR FACE.


This is the second time in as many nights that I've had that book called to my attention. To the book repository!
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Aleril » Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:40 am UTC

I always found coffee to be unmanly, also red bull.

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Its all about the Spike.

Powerthirst joke in 10...9...8...7...
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby The Mighty Thesaurus » Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:43 am UTC

EsotericWombat wrote:To the book repository!


Just be sure to avoid the book suppository.
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Hawknc » Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:43 am UTC

MENERGY!

(One must always answer the call of duty)

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby EsotericWombat » Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:59 am UTC

Noted! Especially if I'm looking for an omnibus hardcover edition of, well, anything
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:07 pm UTC

Aleril wrote:I always found coffee to be unmanly,


Black Coffee is manly.

Coffee with crap in it, cappucinos and the like are neutral.

Cappucinos that take longer than a half second to order or have any form of whipped topping are unmanly.

Cappucinos with sprinkles require that you hand in your testicles at the nearest repository for a more deserving being.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby The Mighty Thesaurus » Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:09 pm UTC

Unless you somehow manage to smoke it.
LE4dGOLEM wrote:your ability to tell things from things remains one of your skills.
Weeks wrote:Not only can you tell things from things, you can recognize when a thing is a thing

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:13 pm UTC

Oh, well yeah... but that's the exception to everything. If you figure out a way to smoke them without dying, My Little Pony toys become incredibly manly.

If you don't figure out a way to do it without dying, everyone will just talk about how manly you were at your funeral.
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heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Izawwlgood » Fri Jan 25, 2008 2:55 pm UTC

Manly funeral: I want my corpse brought to the local pub and left on a table with open bar. I want to be packed in ice, and metal bracings placed behind my teeth so all the beers thats chilling around me can be opened with my now bottle opener mouth. Also, beer preserves corpses.

Instead of a 21-gun shot salute, I will accept any of the following: Volcano, space shuttle launch, 21 ninjas throwing daggers, 21 ronin standing silently, vaporization of my casket via plasma incinerator (or that big thing that crunches metal waste, I can be cubed and buried at a convienient 1x1ft dimention), or 21 wailing virgins.

Also, a mold-a-cock of my better years should be given to all attendees. (The mold-a-cock is perhaps the greatest thing of all time)
... with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet.

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Belial » Fri Jan 25, 2008 2:58 pm UTC

Manly Funeral:

I want my body laid out on a stone slab in front of a procession. At the height of the ceremony, I want to sit up, scream "Who are you fuckers kidding? I'm too hardcore to die!", break the necks of the two nearest mourners, and run off cackling into the sunset.
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Dream » Fri Jan 25, 2008 3:15 pm UTC

You guys are planning to die in such a way that leaves behind a body? Probably could have crammed some more manliness into your manner of death if there is some recognisable fragment of yourself left... except for death by shattered pelvis.
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Jan 25, 2008 3:33 pm UTC

I dunno.. I think death by self-decapitation with a rusty spoon is fairly manly.
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heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Dream » Fri Jan 25, 2008 4:03 pm UTC

Yeah, that's manly. Maybe you don't have to atomise yourself just to achieve the apotheosis of male. It just seems, more manly things could have been done in all those hours of spoon hacking. A dull axe would be manlier, because then you could alternate neck shots with chopping firewood for even more manliness.
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby MotorToad » Fri Jan 25, 2008 4:17 pm UTC

I've always been partial to the floating pyre send-off.

Checking Wikipedia (an act formerly known as "doing research," now archaic), I found this:
"In a Viking funeral, the pyre was built on a ship, which was usually shaped like a dragon's nose."

Although this isn't the type of funeral I'd want to wake up in the middle of. (Or, if ending that with a preposition bothers you, how about "in the middle of which I'd want to wake up.")
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Izawwlgood » Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:17 pm UTC

My corpse is as invulnerable in death as I am in life. Therefor, i will die the manliest death ever: Total organ failure, pissing and shitting blood, my mind sharp and angry, and both middle fingers held high and proud at that hooded bastard holding a sickle come to take me elsewhere. Or whoever around at the time. Whichever.

I also liked this:

"A committed existentialist is not sulking at the party, he's grinning at the gallows with a tip for the hangman, a rose for the prettiest girl in the mob, and tight fistful of whatever happiness he has managed to extract from a life in the mine."
... with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet.

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Belial » Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:21 pm UTC

"A committed existentialist is not sulking at the party, he's grinning at the gallows with a tip for the hangman, a rose for the prettiest girl in the mob, and tight fistful of whatever happiness he has managed to extract from a life in the mine."


I like that. What's it from?
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby EsotericWombat » Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:24 pm UTC

MotorToad wrote:I've always been partial to the floating pyre send-off.

Checking Wikipedia (an act formerly known as "doing research," now archaic), I found this:
"In a Viking funeral, the pyre was built on a ship, which was usually shaped like a dragon's nose."

Although this isn't the type of funeral I'd want to wake up in the middle of. (Or, if ending that with a preposition bothers you, how about "in the middle of which I'd want to wake up.")


Bullshit! As the boat burns around you you wake up, issue a deafeningly triumphant laugh, and sail the fucker off into the sunset. WHILE THEY'RE STILL SHOOTING ARROWS AT YOU
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Izawwlgood » Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:26 pm UTC

I have no idea actually. A friend showed it to me, and a google search reveals it nested in some dudes facebook profile. The rest of the text isn't entirely in the same vein, leading me to believe its snippeted from elsewhere.

Tipping your executioner is manly. So is screaming FUCK YOU at the world as the blade drops. But not maliciously. Malice is not manly.

Not actually being dead at your own funeral, and breaking the necks or mourners after emerging from a coma, as Belial said, is uber manly.

EDIT:
"GAH! YOU PARTED MY HAIR? WHO THE FUCK PARTED MY HAIR? YOU WILL PAY!"
... with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet.

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby null » Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:51 pm UTC

Has anyone seen Beowulf? Ending of that...spoilered.

Spoiler:
Beowulf dies fighting a dragon, during which he snares it with some sort of chain, cuts a hole in its throat while dangling from said chain, in mid-flight. Then protagonist is forced to chop off his own arm, to reach inside the dragons throat (avoiding the fire shooting up its oesophagus) to rip out its beating heart with his bare hands. Unfortunately, he then falls to his death when the dragon dies, but he still manages some last words while dying on the rocky beach below. Manly.

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Zak » Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:57 pm UTC

Only way it could have been manlier is if it wasn't CGI.
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Upsilon » Fri Jan 25, 2008 10:03 pm UTC

Or if it was recorded IRL by a witness.
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Zak » Fri Jan 25, 2008 10:13 pm UTC

Upsilon wrote:Or if it was recorded IRL by a witness. RAMBO!!

Fix'd
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Klye » Sat Jan 26, 2008 6:38 am UTC

Z.A.K wrote:
Upsilon wrote:Or if it was recorded IRL by a witness. RAMBO!!

Fix'd

So I heard that movie got 0 stars. I didn't know that was even a rating...

I guess it must be nothing but awesome action to get a rating that low*

*Either that or it just really sucks, but this being the man thread, that doesn't seem to fit too well...
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby xndrew » Sat Jan 26, 2008 6:40 am UTC

Z.A.K wrote:
Upsilon wrote:Or if it was recorded IRL by a witness. RAMBO!!

Fix'd

Rambo wouldn't be recording it, he'd be showing Beowulf how to do it with just his eyelids.

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Bakemaster » Sat Jan 26, 2008 6:51 am UTC

Belial wrote:Manly Funeral:

I want my body laid out on a stone slab in front of a procession. At the height of the ceremony, I want to sit up, scream "Who are you fuckers kidding? I'm too hardcore to die!", break the necks of the two nearest mourners, and run off cackling into the sunset.

...I love you?
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby ducknerd » Mon Jan 28, 2008 4:33 am UTC

Manly Funeral: Open-casket. Be cremated midway through. Have small fireworks carefully hidden within your corpse, so that nobody notices them from the outside.
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby EsotericWombat » Mon Jan 28, 2008 6:29 am UTC

ducknerd wrote:Manly Funeral: Open-casket. Be cremated midway through. Have TNT carefully hidden within your corpse, so that nobody notices them from the outside.


Fix'd
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby El Senor Fruit Swing » Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:48 pm UTC

I almost killed myself the most manliest way to die ever.
Spoiler:
A year ago, I decided to make a burger a manly burger 2.5 pounds of beef I named it
DAS UBER BURGER
(echo effect and dramatization of the name).
Me being a man like lots of manly seasoning on my meat lots of manly flavor like: season salt, A1, Dublin Meat Seasoning.
As I poured on the seasoning and flavor. I added bacon and BBQ sauce. To top it all off, smoked onion. Now my burger sat complete, but to top it off I added more flavor (mistake) the flavor I added was the grease it was cooking in I poured some of it back on the burger..
I sat down to eat, took a bite and the flavor poured in my mouth. I took another bite and another ! Then it hit me a numbness shooting up my left arm and to my face!
The burger was to manly, to much salt to much grease. I almost passed out in-fact I might have blacked out one minute I'm taken a bite the next thing I know I'm face first in my burger cup spilled on the floor, bacon on my face...I couldn't handle it. Maybe I saved a pic. So much *shudders* I failed :(


WARNING: This thread contains material not suitable for children (or those with faint heart.)
Raiku wrote: Oh, I 'Falcon Punched' a tree for the hell of it, and it's still quite bloody...

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby tylerwylie » Mon Jan 28, 2008 3:48 pm UTC

El Senor Fruit Swing wrote:I almost killed myself the most manliest way to die ever.
Spoiler:
A year ago, I decided to make a burger a manly burger 2.5 pounds of beef I named it
DAS UBER BURGER
(echo effect and dramatization of the name).
Me being a man like lots of manly seasoning on my meat lots of manly flavor like: season salt, A1, Dublin Meat Seasoning.
As I poured on the seasoning and flavor. I added bacon and BBQ sauce. To top it all off, smoked onion. Now my burger sat complete, but to top it off I added more flavor (mistake) the flavor I added was the grease it was cooking in I poured some of it back on the burger..
I sat down to eat, took a bite and the flavor poured in my mouth. I took another bite and another ! Then it hit me a numbness shooting up my left arm and to my face!
The burger was to manly, to much salt to much grease. I almost passed out in-fact I might have blacked out one minute I'm taken a bite the next thing I know I'm face first in my burger cup spilled on the floor, bacon on my face...I couldn't handle it. Maybe I saved a pic. So much *shudders* I failed :(


WARNING: This thread contains material not suitable for children (or those with faint heart.)

That was a great laugh. Is it true though?
Who are you and who am I
To say we know the reason why?
Some are born; some men die
Beneath one infinite sky.
There'll be war, there'll be peace.
But everything one day will cease.
All the iron turned to rust;
All the proud men turned to dust.

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Izawwlgood » Mon Jan 28, 2008 5:12 pm UTC

Eating hot grease is the only thing you could have done to up the awesomeness of that burger.

Incase no one's seen it:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net ... ly_suicide

But only the beginning, because hey, who doesn't like beans?
... with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet.

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby El Senor Fruit Swing » Mon Jan 28, 2008 6:21 pm UTC

tylerwylie wrote:
El Senor Fruit Swing wrote:I almost killed myself the most manliest way to die ever.
Spoiler:
A year ago, I decided to make a burger a manly burger 2.5 pounds of beef I named it
DAS UBER BURGER
(echo effect and dramatization of the name).
Me being a man like lots of manly seasoning on my meat lots of manly flavor like: season salt, A1, Dublin Meat Seasoning.
As I poured on the seasoning and flavor. I added bacon and BBQ sauce. To top it all off, smoked onion. Now my burger sat complete, but to top it off I added more flavor (mistake) the flavor I added was the grease it was cooking in I poured some of it back on the burger..
I sat down to eat, took a bite and the flavor poured in my mouth. I took another bite and another ! Then it hit me a numbness shooting up my left arm and to my face!
The burger was to manly, to much salt to much grease. I almost passed out in-fact I might have blacked out one minute I'm taken a bite the next thing I know I'm face first in my burger cup spilled on the floor, bacon on my face...I couldn't handle it. Maybe I saved a pic. So much *shudders* I failed :(


WARNING: This thread contains material not suitable for children (or those with faint heart.)

That was a great laugh. Is it true though?


Sadly yes I'm going to look for pics
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby EsotericWombat » Mon Jan 28, 2008 6:30 pm UTC

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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby El Senor Fruit Swing » Mon Jan 28, 2008 6:37 pm UTC

EsotericWombat wrote:http://www.slashfood.com/2006/06/25/food-porn-baseballs-best-burger/

You may have been outdone here.



I might not be on forawhile I just opened the link and "pr0n" is in the url and on the site.
:(
is the site safe and school appropriate (spell check) I don't want to go back there if it ain't.
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby EsotericWombat » Mon Jan 28, 2008 6:40 pm UTC

it's not porn. it's just saying that the foodstuff itself is to cuisine what porn is to cinema
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby El Senor Fruit Swing » Mon Jan 28, 2008 6:47 pm UTC

O thank you heh got worried
I dont want to spend the next 2 weeks in a small room..
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Mo6eB » Mon Jan 28, 2008 8:06 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
Aleril wrote:I always found coffee to be unmanly,


Black Coffee is manly.

Coffee with crap in it, cappucinos and the like are neutral.

Cappucinos that take longer than a half second to order or have any form of whipped topping are unmanly.

Cappucinos with sprinkles require that you hand in your testicles at the nearest repository for a more deserving being.


I don't drink coffee. I simply stare at myself in a mirror, until the sleepiness gets scared and runs away. I like sentences beginning with 'I'. I think this self-referential sentence doesn't belong here, but it bribed me with bacon. I.
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby bigglesworth » Mon Jan 28, 2008 8:08 pm UTC

El Senor Fruit Swing wrote:I almost killed myself the most manliest way to die ever.
Spoiler:
A year ago, I decided to make a burger a manly burger 2.5 pounds of beef I named it
DAS UBER BURGER
(echo effect and dramatization of the name).
Me being a man like lots of manly seasoning on my meat lots of manly flavor like: season salt, A1, Dublin Meat Seasoning.
As I poured on the seasoning and flavor. I added bacon and BBQ sauce. To top it all off, smoked onion. Now my burger sat complete, but to top it off I added more flavor (mistake) the flavor I added was the grease it was cooking in I poured some of it back on the burger..
I sat down to eat, took a bite and the flavor poured in my mouth. I took another bite and another ! Then it hit me a numbness shooting up my left arm and to my face!
The burger was to manly, to much salt to much grease. I almost passed out in-fact I might have blacked out one minute I'm taken a bite the next thing I know I'm face first in my burger cup spilled on the floor, bacon on my face...I couldn't handle it. Maybe I saved a pic. So much *shudders* I failed :(


WARNING: This thread contains material not suitable for children (or those with faint heart.)


Meh, I could've handled it. (I say this only to prevent my manhood from being dented.)
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Re: Man Thread: Erectile hyperbolic function

Postby Zak » Mon Jan 28, 2008 8:11 pm UTC

Ill do you one better and say that i actually have eaten one of those things.

Delicious heart failure.
*waggles eyebrows*


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