Boy Thread: put a hat on ur butt

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Beacons!
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Beacons! » Sun Jul 06, 2008 10:42 am UTC

BomanTheBear wrote:Or maybe Laugh out with your staff out. Hang out with your wang out. Pig out with your rig out.

I could go all day.


Do
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Upsilon » Sun Jul 06, 2008 3:03 pm UTC

BomanTheBear wrote:Or maybe Laugh out with your staff out. Hang out with your wang out. Pig out with your rig out.

I could go all day.

"Rock out with your cock out."
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Beacons! » Sun Jul 06, 2008 4:16 pm UTC

JayDee do people often tell you how much your facial hair makes you look like the programmers from Homestar Runner?

http://www.hrwiki.org/images/6/6b/Graphics_Heyday.jpg
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby clintonius » Sun Jul 06, 2008 4:41 pm UTC

How is everyone leaving out "Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen?" I think that would be a phenomenal way to kick off the mix. I mean, seriously, "Do you want to see the bed in flames? Do you want to perish in skin and hair?" Yes. Yes I do.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Fat Tony » Sun Jul 06, 2008 9:40 pm UTC

sleepygamer wrote:If... if I ever meet a girl who will let me play that playlist during sex... I'm going to marry her.

Well... exaggeration. But you get my point.

Or just have a lot of sex with her.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby steewi » Mon Jul 07, 2008 1:36 am UTC

wing wrote:
sleepygamer wrote:How about we have a Rammstein sex playlist with Rein Raus, Links, Du Hast, and a few other goodies in there? I mean, who wants to be getting rein and raus of their partner to change the song? XD


Oh, I've already done this. This plays on random.
Mann Gegen Man (because EVERY makeout playlist needs a song about mansex)
Wo Bist Du
Te Quiero Puta! (take this one off if she knows Spanish and is easily offended)
Mein Teil (because EVERY makeout playlist needs a song about cannibalism)
Keine Lust
Ohne Dich
Amour
Spieluhr (because EVERY makeout playlist needs a song about necro-pedo-philia)
Zwitter (because EVERY makeout playlist needs a song about being a hermaprodite and fucking yourself)
Rein Raus
Nebel
Sehnsucht (because EVERY makeout playlist needs a song about fucking some girl while she's asleep so she doesn't notice)
Tier (because EVERY makeout playlist needs a song about incestuous pedophilia)
Buck Dich (because EVERY makeout playlist needs a song about buttsex)
Spiel Mit Mir (because EVERY makeout playlist needs a song about boy on boy incest?)
Weißes Fleisch
Seemann
Du Riechst So Gut (because EVERY makeout playlist needs a song entitled "You smell so good")
Das Alte Leid
Heirate Mich
Laichzeit (because EVERY makeout playlist needs a song about procreative incest and bestiality)
Stripped (this is actually kind of rare, and actually in English, and very cool and good)


Added note for Spiel Mit Mir

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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Account20151023 » Mon Jul 07, 2008 2:37 am UTC

Alright, here's a story for anyone who may think that gay men can't hold up to the shark-piledriving antics of heteros.

So I worked in this restaurant with a gay dude named John Roe. Not his real name, but I never learned what his parents named him. He was built like a pro wrestler, but about 5 foot 9. He always wore $300 silk shirts with amazing patterns on them, but they were partly translucent, and he always wore a wifebeater under them. He was a manager, by the way. One of three gay managers, all of whom were notable for something (one was the best banter partner I've ever had, one could pry open a bottle USING HIS FUCKING EYE).

Anyway, John Roe had me come to my town's gay bar one night during the summer I worked with him. Great music and all, but the ambiance was pretty wicked. So these three guys approach him and want him to go back to their place. No biggie, John Roe has been known to take on multiple partners at once. So he tells me he might not be back for a while. Slick.

I still kindof follow him so I can see how he lays down his game. When I get to the door of the place, I hear one of the guys say "we're gonna kick your faggot ass." I live in the south, and even though my town is way progressive, we still have old-south assholes who do this sort of asshole bullshit. John Roe is fucking jacked, but he was still outnumbered massively. So I whip out the butterfly knife I always carry on me and am about to come slay some bitches, but John Roe sees me, and puts his hand up. He then delivers the following line that made me wish that I too was gay:

"There are two things on this world that I love: sucking cock and kicking ass."

So I then watched John Roe demolish these guys. If there is a God, he turned a blind eye to the savage beating. At the climax, John Roe broke this dude's arm by kneeling on it. They scampered away like the coward-ass motherfuckers they were, and John Roe looked to me and said "How about another drink, dude?"

At that moment, I wished I was as much of a man as he was.

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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Rippy » Mon Jul 07, 2008 4:30 am UTC

Sir, I present to you one internet, in all its glory. And five internets to John Roe, whoever and wherever he may be.

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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby JayDee » Mon Jul 07, 2008 5:03 am UTC

Beacons! wrote:JayDee do people often tell you how much your facial hair makes you look like the programmers from Homestar Runner?
Um, so far that would be one.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby benjhuey » Mon Jul 07, 2008 5:10 am UTC

JayDee wrote:
Beacons! wrote:JayDee do people often tell you how much your facial hair makes you look like the programmers from Homestar Runner?
Um, so far that would be one.

What, because he has a mustache?
多么现在棕色母牛?

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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby backslash » Tue Jul 08, 2008 5:41 pm UTC

been dark for a while...just caught up.

wing wrote:I have cried not because of the death of a sporting legend, but because of a girl. Because I have emotion.

Dude. Girl problems are the suck. Just curious--don't want to open a messy can, as I don't know you and all--but did posting the Rammstein playlist help, or hurt?

BomanTheBear wrote:Or maybe Laugh out with your staff out. Hang out with your wang out. Pig out with your rig out.

I could go all day.

I saw what you did there. Especially funny with the new thread title.

Rippy wrote:There was this guy walking down the aisles and looking at products with one hand, and holding a baby in the other. He had his hand on the baby's front, and he/she was basically straddling his arm, much like how one would hold a football. I found this to be a very useful baby-hold.

Bonus points because he looked to have a fairly steady and safe grip on the baby.

Though he loses a few points because he was in the housewares section. (Though he could redeem this if it was an arrand for his wife and doing it could lead to sex)

benjhuey wrote:There's a reason football players use it.

Indeed. I used to carry both of my boys that way, and would pantomime enthusiastically spiking the ball in the endzone just to make their mom giggle. Nervous giggling, but giggling nonetheless.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Account20151023 » Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:26 pm UTC

Heh. I was hoping my double entedre wouldn't go unnoticed.

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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby pseudoidiot » Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:33 pm UTC

BomanTheBear wrote:Heh. I was hoping my double entedre wouldn't go unnoticed.


I'll double YOUR entendre. Couldn't help myself.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Account20151023 » Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:04 pm UTC

Man, if my entendre was in fact doubled, I wouldn't be safe to be around.

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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby bigglesworth » Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:26 pm UTC

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so he gives her one.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Account20151023 » Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:32 pm UTC

A woman walks into a bar.

Ouch.

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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Hoshi no Kabii » Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:07 am UTC

A bar walks into a forest.

You thought that was wacky? You should have seen where he was walking from!

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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Cooley » Wed Jul 09, 2008 1:10 am UTC

Wasn't he walking from your mom's house?

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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby justaman » Wed Jul 09, 2008 2:24 am UTC

From the sound of it, the bar was already coming from a forest: she doesn't trim, you know!

No?...too soon??
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby poxic » Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:55 am UTC

A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls a gun on him. The man thanks the bartender and walks out.

/old, need to find a new one
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby CVSoul » Wed Jul 09, 2008 9:53 am UTC

I had an interesting idea for a website, that would almost definitely be a pipe dream but would still be extremely cool.
The idea is a Man Point delivery system, say for example manpoints.com (might exist, I didnt check.) What it would be is a (HEAVILY MODERATED) forum, like a mixture of 4chan and the icanhascheezburger-sites, like the Fail Blog. (post a picture, anyone can vote on it.) You register, make a profile, get sucked into another social network, and then compete against other men online. For example, someone posts a boast about something manly (let me repeat: lots of mods) for a stereotypical example driving a large truck or felling a tree. Proof would be necessary, maybe a picture, maybe sufficient testimonials. After a guy makes his manly post, other men can give him man points, between -1 and 5.
This is all tracked with daily leaderboards, probably wiped each month. (points would remain in the account as a lifetime record.) Photoshopped pictures can recieve points if they're extremely hilarious; it's up to the community to decide.
Also, in an online shop, you can buy t-shirts, manly things like dumbell desk toys, and Man Point cards. These cards would be similar to an Xbox Live gift card-- you buy a pack of them, and give them to people that do something manly in real life. Then they scratch off the back and enter the code for bonus man points (between 5 and 25, maybe, higher since this involves paypal and witnesses).
If you get enough Man Points, you can trade them in for a free tshirt that says "Internationally Certified Man" in a very well designed font.

A wiki would probably be too unstable/insecure for this system.

The only real problems would be getting the community to start with and a principal investment.

I dunno. Probably couldnt happen, but it would be neat.

EDIT: manpoints.com turned into a clickable link. I'm afraid to hit it. so I'll just unlink it now.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby mrorange » Wed Jul 09, 2008 9:58 am UTC

CVSoul wrote:I had an interesting idea for a website, that would almost definitely be a pipe dream but would still be extremely cool.
The idea is a Man Point delivery system, say for example manpoints.com (might exist, I didnt check.) What it would be is a (HEAVILY MODERATED) forum, like a mixture of 4chan and the icanhascheezburger-sites, like the Fail Blog. (post a picture, anyone can vote on it.) You register, make a profile, get sucked into another social network, and then compete against other men online. For example, someone posts a boast about something manly (let me repeat: lots of mods) for a stereotypical example driving a large truck or felling a tree. Proof would be necessary, maybe a picture, maybe sufficient testimonials. After a guy makes his manly post, other men can give him man points, between -1 and 5.
This is all tracked with daily leaderboards, probably wiped each month. (points would remain in the account as a lifetime record.) Photoshopped pictures can recieve points if they're extremely hilarious; it's up to the community to decide.
Also, in an online shop, you can buy t-shirts, manly things like dumbell desk toys, and Man Point cards. These cards would be similar to an Xbox Live gift card-- you buy a pack of them, and give them to people that do something manly in real life. Then they scratch off the back and enter the code for bonus man points (between 5 and 25, maybe, higher since this involves paypal and witnesses).
If you get enough Man Points, you can trade them in for a free tshirt that says "Internationally Certified Man" in a very well designed font.

A wiki would probably be too unstable/insecure for this system.

The only real problems would be getting the community to start with and a principal investment.

I dunno. Probably couldnt happen, but it would be neat.

EDIT: manpoints.com turned into a clickable link. I'm afraid to hit it. so I'll just unlink it now.

this sounds awesome and actually potentially marketable. if there was ever a community that housed the talent to do this, here it is. So the call goes out, here is your charge, make it well MAN GEEKS, ASSEMBLE!!!
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby wing » Wed Jul 09, 2008 11:20 am UTC

Can we also issue the proverbial Man Card?
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Pearsquisher » Wed Jul 09, 2008 11:25 am UTC

clintonius wrote:How is everyone leaving out "Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen?" I think that would be a phenomenal way to kick off the mix. I mean, seriously, "Do you want to see the bed in flames? Do you want to perish in skin and hair?" Yes. Yes I do.


I speak some German, and "Wollt ihr" means "Do you want" but the "you" is plural. So that would be a question that you ask two ladies, not one.

Now I know what you're thinking, isn't the plural the formal form, like in French. No. Saying "they" is formal in German, not "you (plural)". So it would be "Wollen sie". However, you would use the formal tense to proposition sex anyway?

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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby zangief470 » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:46 pm UTC

try BUMP DOWN and CUTTING UP, by Barc for great shaving. The respective lotion and shaving cream do wonders for my stubborn skin and I'd say they'd work for pretty much anyone else. No razor bumps, redness, itchiness, just straight up smooth skin for me.

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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Dobblesworth » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:51 pm UTC

Pearsquisher wrote:
clintonius wrote:How is everyone leaving out "Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen?" I think that would be a phenomenal way to kick off the mix. I mean, seriously, "Do you want to see the bed in flames? Do you want to perish in skin and hair?" Yes. Yes I do.


I speak some German, and "Wollt ihr" means "Do you want" but the "you" is plural. So that would be a question that you ask two ladies, not one.

Now I know what you're thinking, isn't the plural the formal form, like in French. No. Saying "they" is formal in German, not "you (plural)". So it would be "Wollen sie". However, you would use the formal tense to proposition sex anyway?

Slight correction: when using the polite form it goes to Sie (capitalised S regardless of placement)
And who says the blokes in Rammstein aren't manly enough to take 2 or more women (IN BED!) at the same time?

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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Philwelch » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:58 pm UTC

They may be, but unless you are as well it shouldn't be in your sex playlist.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby steewi » Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:09 am UTC

Dobblesworth wrote:And who says the blokes in Rammstein aren't manly enough to take 2 or more women (IN BED!) at the same time?


It's Rammstein - not necessaily exclusively women...

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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby CVSoul » Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:31 am UTC

mrorange wrote:this sounds awesome and actually potentially marketable. if there was ever a community that housed the talent to do this, here it is. So the call goes out, here is your charge, make it well MAN GEEKS, ASSEMBLE!!!


Hmm. someone agrees with me!
How can we get the word out? I'm not sure as to what to do with these forums, for instance, but if I were to make a new thread, or if someone else were, would you folks post?

I say, this is only one step further than WetRiffs; there's nothing that these people cant do.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby Awia » Sat Jul 12, 2008 6:02 am UTC

CVSoul wrote:
mrorange wrote:this sounds awesome and actually potentially marketable. if there was ever a community that housed the talent to do this, here it is. So the call goes out, here is your charge, make it well MAN GEEKS, ASSEMBLE!!!


Hmm. someone agrees with me!
How can we get the word out? I'm not sure as to what to do with these forums, for instance, but if I were to make a new thread, or if someone else were, would you folks post?

I say, this is only one step further than WetRiffs; there's nothing that these people cant do.


This idea sounds awesome, it needs to be organised as soon as possible, if you create a new thread, I'm sure we can get it done.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby wst » Sat Jul 12, 2008 10:16 am UTC

benjhuey wrote:There's a reason football rugby players use it.

(About baby holding)

Fix'd- I just had to. Football players get a yellow card for holding the ball :P <cue typical rugby football debate sooooorry>
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby 3fj » Sat Jul 12, 2008 3:17 pm UTC

One could also do a project Euler-esque basic manpoint challenge.
Say... x amount of challenges that everyone can do to prove their manhood, and either get in the community or unlock the ability to receive points for other verified acts of manliness.
(where x is a reasonable amount depending on what it is used to determine)

added bonus; extra line of defense against spammers/wankers.

well not necessarily wankers. Masturbate over 10 times in a day could be an "honor challenge"
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby wst » Sat Jul 12, 2008 3:39 pm UTC

3fj wrote: Masturbate over 10 times in a day could be an "honor challenge"

However, you lose points if you're paid to do it 10 times a day or more.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby 3fj » Sat Jul 12, 2008 7:04 pm UTC

wst wrote:
3fj wrote: Masturbate over 10 times in a day could be an "honor challenge"

However, you lose points if you're paid to do it 10 times a day or more.


or at all? notable exception: sperm bank.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby wst » Sat Jul 12, 2008 8:30 pm UTC

3fj wrote:
wst wrote:
3fj wrote: Masturbate over 10 times in a day could be an "honor challenge"

However, you lose points if you're paid to do it 10 times a day or more.
or at all?

As the honour is only from 10 or more times, that amounts to the same thing.
Spermbanks are honourable. So is donating blood. But only if you do both at the same time.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby 3fj » Sat Jul 12, 2008 9:22 pm UTC

only if the nurse helps you do both? :wink:

[EDIT] after typing this and posting, im reminded of the prostate stimulation that happens to stifler... or whatever stifler plays in one of those "were teens and were kerazy!" films.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby LE4dGOLEM » Sat Jul 12, 2008 9:36 pm UTC

You'd better do the masturbation first, I wouldn't want to try doing so with less blood than normal.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby 3fj » Sat Jul 12, 2008 9:43 pm UTC

LE4dGOLEM wrote:You'd better do the masturbation first, I wouldn't want to try doing so with less blood than normal.

by that logic, if you pumped more blood into you, you'd get a raging erection?

Someone try this.
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Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby joff » Sun Jul 13, 2008 4:42 am UTC

wst wrote:However, you lose points if you're paid to do it 10 times a day or more.

The other situation where that might happen, is if you were a porn star. I think you gain man points for that....
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benjhuey
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Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2007 2:35 am UTC
Location: A collection of rocks

Re: Man Thread: s/size/how you use it/

Postby benjhuey » Sun Jul 13, 2008 4:50 am UTC

wst wrote:
benjhuey wrote:There's a reason football rugby players use it.

(About baby holding)

Fix'd- I just had to. Football players get a yellow card for holding the ball :P <cue typical rugby football debate sooooorry>

I see what you did there, implying regional differences in terminology.

I'm actually surprised that went uncontested for so long. You other Aussies/Brits/Generally-Everybody-Else fail.
多么现在棕色母牛?


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