dirty money

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

User avatar
parkaboy
who dwells between the borders of time
Posts: 5539
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 1:17 am UTC
Location: la-la land
Contact:

dirty money

Postby parkaboy » Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:05 pm UTC

not like, stolen money or drug money, although these could count as well...

but the actual dollars. GGGGROOOOSSSSS. I dont know about other countries but in America our money gets disgusting filthy. My brother needed his hands for something once and stuck a dollar bill in his mouth and i almost vomited at the thought of where else that dollar *might* have been before hand.

eeeeeeww.
Image

Back in our day we had to walk uphill both ways through the snow on fire without feet to get fucking terrible relationship advice from disinterested and socially maladjusted nerds. Belial

User avatar
fjafjan
THE fjafjan
Posts: 4766
Joined: Fri Oct 06, 2006 12:22 pm UTC
Location: Down south up north in the west of eastern west.
Contact:

Postby fjafjan » Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:27 pm UTC

eh people in general are too squeemish, the whole "Oh me yarm SOMEONE ELSE MIGHT HAVE TOUCHED IT" will quickly make you some OCD screwed up "as good as it gets" type.

frankly, money is delicious :D
//Yepp, THE fjafjan (who's THE fjafjan?)
Liza wrote:Fjafjan, your hair is so lovely that I want to go to Sweden, collect the bit you cut off in your latest haircut and keep it in my room, and smell it. And eventually use it to complete my shrine dedicated to you.

User avatar
wing
the /b/slayer
Posts: 1876
Joined: Tue May 29, 2007 5:56 am UTC

Postby wing » Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:27 pm UTC

I only worry about pennies.

'cuz, you know. Ass pennies.
I AM A SEXY, SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!
Akula wrote:Our team has turned into this hate-fueled juggernaut of profit. It's goddamn wonderful.

User avatar
Belial
A terrible sound heard from a distance
Posts: 30450
Joined: Sat Apr 15, 2006 4:04 am UTC
Contact:

Postby Belial » Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:29 pm UTC

eh people in general are too squeemish, the whole "Oh me yarm SOMEONE ELSE MIGHT HAVE TOUCHED IT" will quickly make you some OCD screwed up "as good as it gets" type.


Erm. No. Money is filthy. It's not just "someone might've touched this" so much as "someone may have had this up their nose doing blow" or "this could've been in some skeezy stripper's herpetic crotch"
addams wrote:A drunk neighbor is better than a sober Belial.


They/them

Princess Marzipan
Posts: 7717
Joined: Sun May 27, 2007 5:28 am UTC
Location: neither a road, nor an island

Postby Princess Marzipan » Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:33 pm UTC

wing wrote:I only worry about pennies.

'cuz, you know. Ass pennies.


Excellent reference. Join me in the crusade against the cyborgs?
"It's Saturday night. I've got no date, a two-liter of Shasta, and my all-Rush mixtape. Let's rock!"
"I am just about to be brilliant!"
General_Norris, on feminism, wrote:If you lose your six Pokémon, you lost.

User avatar
fjafjan
THE fjafjan
Posts: 4766
Joined: Fri Oct 06, 2006 12:22 pm UTC
Location: Down south up north in the west of eastern west.
Contact:

Postby fjafjan » Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:35 pm UTC

Belial wrote:
eh people in general are too squeemish, the whole "Oh me yarm SOMEONE ELSE MIGHT HAVE TOUCHED IT" will quickly make you some OCD screwed up "as good as it gets" type.


Erm. No. Money is filthy. It's not just "someone might've touched this" so much as "someone may have had this up their nose doing blow" or "this could've been in some skeezy stripper's herpetic crotch"

Well true, but some money is dirtier than others.
Now I am interested in a study to see how much money has gone through less than desirable venues...
//Yepp, THE fjafjan (who's THE fjafjan?)
Liza wrote:Fjafjan, your hair is so lovely that I want to go to Sweden, collect the bit you cut off in your latest haircut and keep it in my room, and smell it. And eventually use it to complete my shrine dedicated to you.

User avatar
parkaboy
who dwells between the borders of time
Posts: 5539
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 1:17 am UTC
Location: la-la land
Contact:

Postby parkaboy » Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:35 pm UTC

wing wrote:I only worry about pennies.

'cuz, you know. Ass pennies.


what?!
Image

Back in our day we had to walk uphill both ways through the snow on fire without feet to get fucking terrible relationship advice from disinterested and socially maladjusted nerds. Belial

User avatar
Belial
A terrible sound heard from a distance
Posts: 30450
Joined: Sat Apr 15, 2006 4:04 am UTC
Contact:

Postby Belial » Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:36 pm UTC

Now I am interested in a study to see how much money has gone through less than desirable venues...


Most one-dollar bills have some trace amount of cocaine on them, for one.
addams wrote:A drunk neighbor is better than a sober Belial.


They/them

User avatar
Insignificant Deifaction
Small Goddess
Posts: 3729
Joined: Fri Jun 29, 2007 2:14 am UTC
Location: Through the mother@#$%ing looking glass.

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:37 pm UTC

Belial said it perfectly. That was made of gross win.
Belial wrote:You are giving me the tools to sodomize my vast imagination, and for this I am grateful.

PM Me, if you care for a chat.

User avatar
Narsil
Ask me about my junk!
Posts: 2995
Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:59 pm UTC
Location: Columbus.

Postby Narsil » Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:38 pm UTC

Damn, now you have me wondering how many of my dollar bills have been next to some dude's sweaty ass at a gay strip club.

I don't want my money anymore.
Spoiler:
EsotericWombat wrote:MORE JUNK THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR

Mother Superior wrote:What's he got that I dont?
*sees Narsil's sig*
Oh... that.

User avatar
CorranH
A-dork-able
Posts: 1514
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2007 12:43 am UTC
Location: Stockton, CA
Contact:

Postby CorranH » Sat Aug 11, 2007 11:05 pm UTC

Belial wrote:
eh people in general are too squeemish, the whole "Oh me yarm SOMEONE ELSE MIGHT HAVE TOUCHED IT" will quickly make you some OCD screwed up "as good as it gets" type.


Erm. No. Money is filthy. It's not just "someone might've touched this" so much as "someone may have had this up their nose doing blow" or "this could've been in some skeezy stripper's herpetic crotch"


To be perfectly honest . . . This is true, but I still don't care. 99.9% of the time, 'gross' is irrational. It's whatever it means to you. I used to work as a cashier for Kohl's, I handled thousands of dollars worth of bills a day. Never washed my hands after getting off, before eating lunch, whatever. It just doesn't feel gross to me. And I never got sick from it. Yet, if I ever have to used a public toilet seat, even if there's nothing on it, or I wipe it off before using it, I still use a toilet seat cover? Why? No reason at all. I'm no more going to get sick from using an uncovered public toilet than I am from eating after handling money. But I do it because using the toilet without a cover feels gross to me.

To be honest, I used to be one of those annoying guys that would eat food that dropped on the floor or not wash my hands after touching money or whatever, and would tell people about how there's no rational reason to not do those things, talk about how immune systems need practice like anything else, tell them about how I never get sick, etc. Now though, I've knocked that shit off, because I finally realized that gross is totally subjective. And that, while rationality might be something to aspire for, happiness trumps it for small matters. Fact is, almost nothing we do is based on rationality. I like to walk through the left-most door in any set of multiple doors. Why? No reason. Just 'cause. But it makes me happier than walking through the right-most door, so I do it. Truth is, nine times out of ten, we do whatever we want, and even if it is 'rational', we're still only doing it because we want to, and 'it's rational' is only a . . . Well, rationalization.

So I do a good fair number of things that most people would consider 'gross'. But now that I've realized that gross (along with most everything else) is subjective, I'm less of a prick about it. If I'm about to cook something for someone else, and they want me to wash my hands first, or I'm doing the cooking and drop something on a clean floor or countertop, and they don't want to eat it, I no longer launch into some rant about how what they're asking doesn't make sense. I just say okay, and spend the twenty seconds to wash my hands to make them happy, or say okay and set the dropped food aside for myself. It may not make sense, but neither does most of the shit I do. So if it'll make them feel better, that's reason enough for me.
It's a muon, you cunt - Robin Williams

EvanED
Posts: 4331
Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2006 6:28 am UTC
Location: Madison, WI
Contact:

Postby EvanED » Sat Aug 11, 2007 11:19 pm UTC

Narsil wrote:Damn, now you have me wondering how many of my dollar bills have been next to some dude's sweaty ass at a gay strip club.

I don't want my money anymore.


I would be more than happy to take it off your hands for you. Consider it a public service. Would you like my address so you can mail it?

As for the grossness of it, you should watch George Carlin's Fear of Germs. (Lots of NSFW language of course.) I agree with the spirit, though not the extent or angryness of it. ;-)

User avatar
vrek
pigasm!
Posts: 281
Joined: Mon Nov 20, 2006 7:49 pm UTC

Postby vrek » Sun Aug 12, 2007 12:47 am UTC

Belial wrote:
Now I am interested in a study to see how much money has gone through less than desirable venues...


Most one-dollar bills have some trace amount of cocaine on them, for one.


Hey I must admit that I have never blown coke with anything less then a fifty!

User avatar
Maseiken
The Candylawyer
Posts: 2827
Joined: Sat May 19, 2007 11:13 am UTC

Postby Maseiken » Sun Aug 12, 2007 3:22 am UTC

Australian money is made out of the Jesus of paper.

It's stays fine, even when wet, repels firt, and folds so cleanly, and then when you unfold it it's fine...
So good, If I were sexually attracted to a form of currency, it would be the Aussie $5
(But I'm not, so it isn't...)
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

User avatar
Unforgiven
Posts: 162
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 8:48 am UTC
Location: Tokyo, Japan

Postby Unforgiven » Sun Aug 12, 2007 3:25 am UTC

If things like that would kill you, you'd be dead already. So don't worry about it.

Euro bills stay pretty clean though.
"Now we're at the museum. Do you think they'll have DDR in there too?"
"It's Japan. Of course they will."

User avatar
Hawknc
Oompa Loompa of SCIENCE!
Posts: 6986
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2006 5:14 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Postby Hawknc » Sun Aug 12, 2007 3:49 am UTC

Maseiken wrote:Australian money is made out of the Jesus of paper.

It's stays fine, even when wet, repels firt, and folds so cleanly, and then when you unfold it it's fine...
So good, If I were sexually attracted to a form of currency, it would be the Aussie $5
(But I'm not, so it isn't...)

That would be because it's made of plastic. ;) But yes, I agree, our currency rocks.

User avatar
Maseiken
The Candylawyer
Posts: 2827
Joined: Sat May 19, 2007 11:13 am UTC

Postby Maseiken » Sun Aug 12, 2007 3:52 am UTC

Hawknc wrote:
Maseiken wrote:Australian money is made out of the Jesus of paper.

It's stays fine, even when wet, repels firt, and folds so cleanly, and then when you unfold it it's fine...
So good, If I were sexually attracted to a form of currency, it would be the Aussie $5
(But I'm not, so it isn't...)

That would be because it's made of plastic. ;) But yes, I agree, our currency rocks.

*Shrug* I don't care what it's made of,
It is pure win to me
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

User avatar
SecondTalon
SexyTalon
Posts: 26516
Joined: Sat May 05, 2007 2:10 pm UTC
Location: Louisville, Kentucky, USA, Mars. HA!
Contact:

Postby SecondTalon » Sun Aug 12, 2007 4:05 am UTC

So, I'm the only one who's been known to pop change in his mouth when I need both hands for something?

Good to know. When the supervirus comes and my immune system kicks it's ass, I'll be laughing as I shovel your corpses into the communal fire. Probably because I'd have gone insane by that point.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

User avatar
PhantomReality
Posts: 329
Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 1:16 pm UTC
Location: The Chapel Thrill, NC
Contact:

Postby PhantomReality » Sun Aug 12, 2007 4:38 am UTC

Belial wrote:
Now I am interested in a study to see how much money has gone through less than desirable venues...


Most one-dollar bills have some trace amount of cocaine on them, for one.


Yo I gotta call BS on that one...nobody uses a single to snort blow. It's usually a Twenty or a Benny. And there isn't that much coke in the world...though "trace amounts" is misleading...perhaps I'm wrong though, where did you hear that?

(and Oh me yarm herpetic stripper crotch....EWWWWWW)
DROP ACID NOT BOMBS.

User avatar
Insignificant Deifaction
Small Goddess
Posts: 3729
Joined: Fri Jun 29, 2007 2:14 am UTC
Location: Through the mother@#$%ing looking glass.

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Sun Aug 12, 2007 4:55 am UTC

@SecondTalon: And you'll die alone, just like that fucked up sailor in your avatar
Belial wrote:You are giving me the tools to sodomize my vast imagination, and for this I am grateful.

PM Me, if you care for a chat.

User avatar
Vaniver
Posts: 9422
Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:12 am UTC

Postby Vaniver » Sun Aug 12, 2007 5:14 am UTC

Belial wrote:
Now I am interested in a study to see how much money has gone through less than desirable venues...


Most one-dollar bills have some trace amount of cocaine on them, for one.
I think the actual number is in the 25% range.
I mostly post over at LessWrong now.

Avatar from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, owned by Hasbro.

User avatar
SecondTalon
SexyTalon
Posts: 26516
Joined: Sat May 05, 2007 2:10 pm UTC
Location: Louisville, Kentucky, USA, Mars. HA!
Contact:

Postby SecondTalon » Sun Aug 12, 2007 5:25 am UTC

According to Snopes, it's 80%

This is due to the fact that if you use one bill for snorting blow, and later spend it, it contaminates every bill it comes in contact with. Every bill in your wallet, every bill in the till, ever bill that it meets in the back when it's counted.. and those bills spread the contamination, and so forth...

I'm not sure how far out it stops spreading, or if it ever really does.

Insignificant Deification wrote:@SecondTalon: And you'll die alone, just like that fucked up sailor in your avatar


Damn straight. When you get right down to it, doesn't everyone?
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

User avatar
TheTankengine
Our Fora-father
Posts: 3328
Joined: Tue Oct 17, 2006 2:09 pm UTC
Location: Louisville, KY
Contact:

Postby TheTankengine » Sun Aug 12, 2007 4:18 pm UTC

Every living creature on this earth dies alone.
be centered
be compassionate
be interesting

User avatar
Gordon
Dr. Banana
Dr. Banana
Posts: 3521
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2007 6:51 am UTC
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: dirty money

Postby Gordon » Sun Aug 12, 2007 9:22 pm UTC

apocralypse wrote:but the actual dollars. GGGGROOOOSSSSS. I dont know about other countries but in America our money gets disgusting filthy.


Seriously, I thought your money was clean? I always here things about money being laundered down there....

haha. I have nothing to contribute.
Meaux_Pas wrote:
RealGrouchy wrote:I still remember the time when Gordon left. I still wake up in the middle of the night crying and screaming his name.
I do that too, but for an entirely different reason.
RealGrouchy wrote:
Gordon wrote:How long have I been asleep?!
Our daughter is in high school now.

User avatar
wing
the /b/slayer
Posts: 1876
Joined: Tue May 29, 2007 5:56 am UTC

Postby wing » Sun Aug 12, 2007 9:24 pm UTC

TheTankengine wrote:Every living creature on this earth dies alone.
Thanks for the fucking depressing insight. Asshole.
I AM A SEXY, SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!
Akula wrote:Our team has turned into this hate-fueled juggernaut of profit. It's goddamn wonderful.

priapus
Posts: 73
Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 3:23 am UTC

Postby priapus » Sun Aug 12, 2007 9:31 pm UTC

..
Last edited by priapus on Mon Aug 20, 2007 6:36 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

zenten
Posts: 3799
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2007 7:42 am UTC
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Postby zenten » Sun Aug 12, 2007 10:50 pm UTC

When my kid is born, I am so letting them lick money.

User avatar
KicktheCAN
v "This used to be my penis!"
Posts: 940
Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 6:11 pm UTC
Location: Hangin' with Sir Dickwad at the Bubble Palace.
Contact:

Postby KicktheCAN » Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:54 am UTC

I never thought about it before, I may have to disinfect my money now.
pollywog is awesome, that is all.
Addendum: Sethicus is also cool to the maximum.

Akira: i prefer monster black-man cocks.
Hoags: It's getting all 2vreks1CAN in here

User avatar
PhantomReality
Posts: 329
Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 1:16 pm UTC
Location: The Chapel Thrill, NC
Contact:

Postby PhantomReality » Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:39 am UTC

Fuck snoopes seriously. I refuse to believe that, even in microscopic amounts, there is blow on every single i've ever laid hands on...or even most of them. Besides a paper bill only stays in circulation for like a month. There's just no way. Plus most people don't use bills, that's only if you're like "hey guys lets use a bill!" just to be cool. Most people use straws, or just snort it without anything. Even then a bill is only applicable when doing a line, and not a bump which is just as common. There's just no way.
DROP ACID NOT BOMBS.

User avatar
nyeguy
Posts: 580
Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2007 5:59 pm UTC

Postby nyeguy » Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:45 am UTC

PhantomReality wrote:Besides a paper bill only stays in circulation for like a month. There's just no way.


There is no way that is true. I just looked through like eight of my ones, and all but one of them was printed in 2003. When was the other one printed? 2001.

EvanED
Posts: 4331
Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2006 6:28 am UTC
Location: Madison, WI
Contact:

Postby EvanED » Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:55 am UTC

Same here. Five 2003 series (including one $5), one 2001 series, one 2004 series (a $20).

The Federal Reserve gives the lifetimes of bills as follows:

Code: Select all

$  1     21 months
$  5     16 months
$ 10     18 months
$ 20     24 months
$ 50     55 months
$100     89 months

User avatar
PhantomReality
Posts: 329
Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 1:16 pm UTC
Location: The Chapel Thrill, NC
Contact:

Postby PhantomReality » Mon Aug 13, 2007 5:51 am UTC

Fine fuck me running, it's still not possible for all the other reasons I described.
DROP ACID NOT BOMBS.

EvanED
Posts: 4331
Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2006 6:28 am UTC
Location: Madison, WI
Contact:

Postby EvanED » Mon Aug 13, 2007 5:57 am UTC

PhantomReality wrote:Fine fuck me running, it's still not possible for all the other reasons I described.


Which is countered by the evidence that... it is true, at least in some cities. Or are you saying that the likes of Argonne Nat'l Labs lies or did a bad job at testing?

User avatar
Unforgiven
Posts: 162
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 8:48 am UTC
Location: Tokyo, Japan

Postby Unforgiven » Mon Aug 13, 2007 6:45 am UTC

EvanED wrote:Same here. Five 2003 series (including one $5), one 2001 series, one 2004 series (a $20).

You know, I was going to check this myself, but unless they've hidden it really well, Yen bills don't appear to contain the year they were printed. :?
"Now we're at the museum. Do you think they'll have DDR in there too?"

"It's Japan. Of course they will."

pi-3 orionis
Posts: 100
Joined: Wed May 02, 2007 5:52 am UTC
Location: WA, US
Contact:

Postby pi-3 orionis » Mon Aug 13, 2007 6:47 am UTC

Chalk up another one for the "Nothing bad is going to happen if you lick a dollar."

I have an immune system for a reason.

User avatar
Arancaytar
Posts: 1642
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2007 12:54 am UTC
Location: 52.44°N, 13.55°E
Contact:

Postby Arancaytar » Mon Aug 13, 2007 6:57 am UTC

Belial wrote:
Now I am interested in a study to see how much money has gone through less than desirable venues...


Most one-dollar bills have some trace amount of cocaine on them, for one.


Wasn't that on Snopes?

Edit: Yes, and it's true. Funny how closely the "I saw this on Snopes" memory is associated with "this is BS" even when it shouldn't be.
"You cannot dual-wield the sharks. One is enough." -Our DM.
Image

lukkucairi
Posts: 269
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 9:33 pm UTC

Postby lukkucairi » Mon Aug 13, 2007 3:32 pm UTC

TheTankengine wrote:Every living creature on this earth dies alone.


except Broken Sword and Flying Snow.

Bugs
Posts: 67
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 3:22 pm UTC

Postby Bugs » Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:38 pm UTC

Hawknc wrote:
Maseiken wrote:Australian money is made out of the Jesus of paper.

It's stays fine, even when wet, repels firt, and folds so cleanly, and then when you unfold it it's fine...
So good, If I were sexually attracted to a form of currency, it would be the Aussie $5
(But I'm not, so it isn't...)

That would be because it's made of plastic. ;) But yes, I agree, our currency rocks.

Is it true that Aussie money has two little transparent polarising windows, so when you fold it in half they seem opaque? I remember reading about it somewhere (New Scientist IIRC) but can't remember whether it was real or just prototyped.

As for licking money: it's a slightly gross idea given how much time it spends in sweaty pockets or on the floor etc., but your immune system can cope.
If you're squicked by this sort of thing, try thinking about the taps and door handles in public toilets - it's amazing how inefficiently most people wash their hands. In fact, one of my undergrad lecturers did a study years ago to measure enteric (i.e. poo-transmitted) bacteria on fresh fruit and veg in supermarkets. The results had 200 students united in a loud "eeeeww!".
...or is it?

User avatar
TheTankengine
Our Fora-father
Posts: 3328
Joined: Tue Oct 17, 2006 2:09 pm UTC
Location: Louisville, KY
Contact:

Postby TheTankengine » Mon Aug 13, 2007 5:49 pm UTC

wing wrote:
TheTankengine wrote:Every living creature on this earth dies alone.
Thanks for the fucking depressing insight. Asshole.


lukkucairi wrote:
TheTankengine wrote:Every living creature on this earth dies alone.


except Broken Sword and Flying Snow.

You can go suck a fuck
be centered
be compassionate
be interesting

User avatar
Wilibus
Posts: 419
Joined: Thu Jul 12, 2007 9:21 pm UTC
Location: Regina, SK

Postby Wilibus » Mon Aug 13, 2007 6:55 pm UTC

How exactly does one suck a fuck?
"A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there."
-Charles Robert


Return to “General”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 15 guests