10,000 B.C.

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Durandal
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10,000 B.C.

Postby Durandal » Sun Mar 09, 2008 5:59 pm UTC

GOD this was awful. Don't go see it. Don't get me wrong, from the previews it looks really cool, but this movie cannot be described as anything else other than a reverse euphemism for mentally challenged.

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Mr. Beck
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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Mr. Beck » Sun Mar 09, 2008 8:52 pm UTC

Saw it Friday night, and yes it was awful. However, it's so awful it's actually kind of good. Look at 10,000 BC as a comedy, and you will find that you'll have a pretty fun time.

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Clumpy
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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Clumpy » Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:20 am UTC

I've heard stories of the audience openly mocking and shouting at the film. If I went during a slow showing with some of my slacker friends, it might be fun.

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Nath
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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Nath » Mon Mar 10, 2008 2:24 am UTC

Durandal wrote:GOD this was awful. Don't go see it. Don't get me wrong, from the previews it looks really cool, but this movie cannot be described as anything else other than a reverse euphemism for mentally challenged.

The previews made me cringe. Does that mean I'll like the movie?

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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Nimz » Mon Mar 10, 2008 9:02 am UTC

I saw a billboard for this movie and thought, "Looks like an updated version of One Million B.C.".



Then I noticed the pun.
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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby PatrickRsGhost » Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:57 am UTC

Haven't seen it yet. Probably don't want to.

When I first saw the previews some time ago (I think I went to see the re-release of Poltergeist) I remember my mom complaining that it looked like they had done a movie version of the Clan of the Cave Bear series.
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Delalyra
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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Delalyra » Mon Mar 10, 2008 3:40 pm UTC

Well, at least it's over nine thousand. If nothing else.

*ducks*

The first thing I thought when I read a synopsis was, "it looks like Apocalypto, only without all those sexy glottal stops." Yeahhhh.
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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Kizyr » Mon Mar 10, 2008 6:38 pm UTC

I didn't want to bother seeing it. Not because it looked awful, but because I knew if I did, I'd be bugged by any anachronisms in the film.

I'll watch the similar-themed Discovery channel documentary instead. Far better. KF
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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Masterwabbit » Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:01 am UTC

Personally, from watching the previews, I thought it would be a 300 ripoff of sorts. No plans to see it from the preview.

After reading these comments, apparently I was wrong on the 300 aspect, but right on deciding not to see it. Here's hoping Vantage Point's a lot better.

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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby cathrl » Tue Mar 11, 2008 9:39 pm UTC

PatrickRsGhost wrote:Haven't seen it yet. Probably don't want to.

When I first saw the previews some time ago (I think I went to see the re-release of Poltergeist) I remember my mom complaining that it looked like they had done a movie version of the Clan of the Cave Bear series.


There already is a movie version of Clan of the Cave Bear.

It stars Daryl Hannah dressed in a lot of paint and a very small amount of fur, and is (in)famous for having a "script" entirely in grunts, subtitled in English.

I watched ten minutes of it once. It was hilariously bad.

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Mighty Jalapeno
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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Tue Mar 11, 2008 9:46 pm UTC

I think my favorite review of the movie was:

"Historical accuracy is for losers."

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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Graham Finch » Wed Mar 12, 2008 4:32 am UTC

As soon as I saw Roland Emmerich's name tagged on it, I avoided it like a W32.

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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Blubb3r3ng3l » Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:05 pm UTC

On the plus side... do the 'any time something historically inaccurate happens, take a drink' would kill you before the movie went on too long.
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Kizyr
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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Kizyr » Fri Mar 14, 2008 3:29 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:I think my favorite review of the movie was:
"Historical accuracy is for losers."

Lately, I'm getting the impression that Ice Age was more historically accurate. KF
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Thousand
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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Thousand » Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:21 pm UTC

Mammoths. In. The. Motherfucking. Desert.

*brain explodes*

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Durandal
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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Durandal » Sat Mar 15, 2008 3:21 pm UTC

Kizyr wrote:Lately, I'm getting the impression that Ice Age was more historically accurate. KF

O RLY?

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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Sour Apple » Sat Mar 15, 2008 7:27 pm UTC

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. That was aaaaaaaaaaawful. The choice was between Chaos Theory and 10,000 BC and he had the money and I thought it would be all right, aside from being ridiculous, but it wasn't. It really wasn't. Not even the soundtrack redeemed it, which can occasionally happened with movies. Some shots looked blatantly stolen from the Lord of the Rings, like, "Hey, listen, we're running a little short, can we borrow some of those sweeping vista views, man?" like a neighbor asking for sugar or something.

I don't know. I just. That was two hours wasted of my precious life when I could have been doing something, anything, more productive. Eating my shoelaces, for example. Or wrestling a bear. I mean, what the shit.

I am a fairly harsh movie critic, but this was worse than normal to the point where EVERYONE can appreciate how bad it is, and I think it may have given me heart problems. And the worst part is when I think about how much money was spent on this and how mainstream it is when there's perfectly good indie films made for much less than no one appreciates.

Blech. I think the film is summed up in my observations of people around me at the theater. A fat guy behind me had one hand in his popcorn and was snoring loudly. Two girls left a third of the way through. I should have done either of these things in order to be content with this movie.
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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby Master Gunner » Sat Mar 15, 2008 10:34 pm UTC

From the start I was expecting a fantasy film, and in that context, it wasn't that horrible. Of course, I'm fairly easy to please with movies most of the time. Seriously though, "Historical Fiction" simply does not exist in Hollywood, as exemplified in this film. Shift them into a fantasy setting though, and they get a lot better, even with the amount of anachronisms and wtf moments (like mammoths in the desert).

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Re: 10,000 B.C.

Postby laranzu » Sun Mar 16, 2008 10:02 am UTC

Just seen 10,000 BC. It was dreadful, in an almost fascinating way. Almost.

Opening scene ripped off from Conan. Giant birds behaving like velociraptors. Scorpion King style coalition of freedom fighting African tribesmen. Hunters who apparently kill one (1) mammoth per year to feed the entire tribe.

Is it just me, or was there an awful lot of emotional male bonding going on? The hero supposedly carries the female lead in his heart forever, blah, blah, but kissed her exactly once by my count. Heck, the evil slave catcher paid her more attention.


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