The worst film you've seen

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Vohu Manah
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Vohu Manah » Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:54 am UTC

Rodan wrote:Meet The Spartans.
I went in expecting a bad movie. I'd seen the trailer, and I already knew it was terrible, but the little voice in the back of my head would always whisper that I shouldn't judge a book by its cover, and maybe it was good. That was before I knew what a bad movie was. I was expecting it to be terrible, but I had no idea how terrible something could be, and it was not a fun experience.
There was literally weeping and gnashing of teeth.


Did you make it through the entire movie? You deserve a prize for that.

My least favorite movie would be A Series of Unfortunate Events. The books were okay, but the movie's writers took the original plot, fed it to seagulls , and used the wet mush left over to write the script.

House Arrest comes in second. Are your parents arguing? Don't try normal methods; just lock them in a basement and hope nobody notices. It's not like they'll strangle you when they get out or anything, right?
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Spacemilk » Thu Oct 15, 2009 3:49 pm UTC

wqdiia wrote:Ladyhawke. The soundtrack makes it impossible to watch.
I bought the DVD some months ago because I have vague memories of liking it when I was very young - it was one of those movies that I could remember scenes from, that I could remember loving at the time, but that I couldn't remember the name of or any of the actors or really what it was even about.

I shouldn't have watched it again, the film "Ladyhawke seen as a 7-year-old and remembering it 10+ years later" in my imagination was pretty awesome.

I was the same way as a kid! Loved that movie. I bought it a couple of years ago but I still have yet to watch it. I'm a little nervous that watching it again will ruin it... and now I see that I am probably right. :(
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby kinigget » Thu Oct 15, 2009 5:22 pm UTC

Vohu Manah wrote:House Arrest comes in second. Are your parents arguing? Don't try normal methods; just lock them in a basement and hope nobody notices. It's not like they'll strangle you when they get out or anything, right?


I remember watching that movie but couldn't remember why I would have seen it or where. Then I remembered that there used to be a show called dinner and a movie on some channel that I used to watch. It was an interesting show, like MST3K but with no riffing and a lot more cooking of interesting food.
does anyone else remember that show?
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Sockmonkey » Thu Oct 15, 2009 5:30 pm UTC

I remember the co-host Annebelle on Dinner and a movie was pretty hot.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Gears » Thu Oct 15, 2009 6:10 pm UTC

I don't watch many films, but I did see Gamer the other day. Oh my lanta that was a horrible movie.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby CombustibleLemons » Sat Oct 17, 2009 2:48 am UTC

Eragon me and my friend went to watch it because we liked the books but my god the people who made must of never read the book because there was at least 10x the normal movie/book difference.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jesse » Sat Oct 17, 2009 3:40 am UTC

Gears wrote:I don't watch many films, but I did see Gamer the other day. Oh my lanta that was a horrible movie.


I loved Gamer. It had shooting, blood, explosions, taking the piss out of internet people, dancing criminals and the villain was Dexter.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Amnesiasoft » Sun Oct 18, 2009 4:06 am UTC

Jesse wrote:and the villain was Dexter.

I'm sold.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby garak1a » Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:29 pm UTC

My best friend and I were at the Dollarama (the local chain of dollar stores where literally everything costs 1$) and picked up an old VHS of a movie called "Silence of the Heart." It was about a teenager who kills himself, and how his parents, little sister, girl he liked, and best friend all deal with it.

Oh, and the best friend was a 1980s CHARLIE SHEEN.

And the tape was of such poor quality that it was static-y the whole time and you had to have the TV at near-maximum to barely hear it.

Worst movie ever.


A close second is Hudson Hawk, starring Bruce Willis. A really random "thriller" involving people (terrorists, maybe, I don't remember) trying to get a crazy machine built by Leonardo da Vinci to do something evil. It really wasn't clear at all. And not at all interesting. My mother and I were like "Bruce Willis? Action? It MUST be good!" Nay.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby GhostWolfe » Mon Oct 26, 2009 5:52 am UTC

Do documentaries count? I watched A Complete History of my Sexual Failures, but about half way through I got bored and stopped paying attention.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Arachnid Tiger » Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:08 pm UTC

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0270846/

Apparently, its #1 on the bottom 100.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Anubis » Tue Nov 03, 2009 12:08 am UTC

Aetius wrote:I know The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences isn't as accurate as it could or should be, but I think it's fair to say that if you're putting up an Oscar nominated film as the "worst film you've ever seen," your opinion should be pretty much invalidated. Especially if it was nominated for Best Picture or Best Director (I'm looking at you Lost In Translation, Babel, and Mulholland Drive). Also if it's in the IMDB top 250, it also ruins your credibility (The Big Lebowski, The Presitge).


I beg to differ. By far the worst film I have ever seen is The New World. It's like it tried desperately to be high-brow, but then one night it drank a little too much Chateau Lafitte and woke up with its brows shaved completely off and a dick crudely drawn on its forehead.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby stephenmorphey » Wed Nov 04, 2009 8:51 am UTC

Hi, definitely the worst movie is "Epic Movie".

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Technical Ben » Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:02 pm UTC

Rodan wrote:Meet The Spartans.
I went in expecting a bad movie. I'd seen the trailer, and I already knew it was terrible, but the little voice in the back of my head would always whisper that I shouldn't judge a book by its cover, and maybe it was good. That was before I knew what a bad movie was. I was expecting it to be terrible, but I had no idea how terrible something could be, and it was not a fun experience.
There was literally weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Saw Disaster Movie recently, but knowing just how inherently awful it will be just makes it boring.

Runners-up: Manos: The Hands of Fate, The Spirit.


I was waiting for someone to mention Meet The Spartans. I was not brave enough to mention it first! It was dreadful. I was going to walk out of the movie so many times, but it was cold outside.
At the end it looks like the production company just gave up.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby GhostWolfe » Sat Nov 07, 2009 3:02 pm UTC

Okay, runner-up to the worst movie I've ever seen in my life: Dragonball Evolution. Now, granted, I knew what I was getting myself into when I started, but...

It's wrong. All wrong. All so, very wrong. Visually it's wrong. Goku's stance is all wrong. The dialogue was written by 5-year-olds. The acting is terrible - yes, even from Chow Yun-Fat. They got everything wrong.

...

I'm going to go put on some episode of Dragonball until I forget about this travesty.

/angell
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Woodsman » Sat Nov 07, 2009 4:53 pm UTC

I didn't expect it to be that bad, but I actually, physically gagged at "obsessed".
It's a monster of a film, and not in a good way. We joked about playing it on Halloween, because it's so much more horror-esque than any other film we could think of.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Linz » Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:25 pm UTC

For me, the worst movie I've ever seen (as far as movies with an actual budget) it would have to be "The Room."

It may be a little cliché and I know there's an entire cult following behind it but it's by far the worst movie I've ever seen.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby adanedhel728 » Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:40 pm UTC

I must admit, I'm extremely tempted to list some movies that I haven't actually seen, but that just look so incredibly stupid. For example, The Final Destination, or Final Destination, or whatever it's called. I haven't seen that movie, but I honestly, in my wildest dreams, cannot begin to imagine why anybody would ever, ever want to see a movie that just shows a bunch of people dying in horrible ways. I haven't even been able to get through the trailer. When it came on tv, I would change the channel or mute the tv and close my eyes. It's just disgusting.

I watched the first half of the first Saw movie and finally shut it off because it was so stupid and pointless. I know people like to say, "Oh, but it turns out there's a point at the end, it's about how you're supposed to appreciate life." Yeah, baloney. The "point" is only there so you feel enlightened about watching people get disemboweled. Does anybody seriously think that overly simplistic point got the movie five sequels?

I really hate 99.9% of all horror movies. I like them if they have a point, but I don't understand how people can just sit and watch people get killed all the time.

*spoilers about a movie that nobody here has likely seen*

Spoiler:
I have another one, though. I was up late one night and saw a B movie on the Lifetime Movie Network.... I should have known better. It involved one of the lesser known Baldwin brothers (Not Alec and not Stephen). It was called "The Haunting Within." It was a movie about a brother (the Baldwin) and sister who isolated themselves on a small private island off the coast of a small town to deal with her psychological problems. He was a psychologist trying to help her. She had a lot of problems, including seeing what she thought were ghosts. Through the whole movie it was clear that she was hallucinating. Then the end comes with the worst twist ever. A drama instantly becomes a ghost story-- She wasn't hallucinating! It was like Mr. Smith Goes To Washington if it ended with aliens landing.


I also really, really hated "Knowing." It has an extraordinarily well-constructed story and fantastic character development, but still managed to be one of the worst movies I’d ever seen. Why? Because it's just so depressing.

Oh, but I want to briefly say that G.I. Joe is up there as one of the worst movies made, but maybe not THE worst movie ever made. Off the top of my head, this is the worst movie I've seen that I can think of. I wanted to walk out, but there was two or three guys between me and the aisle, and it would have been a whole thing. Did anybody else notice that they could have taken out the first scene and it would have made absolutely no difference whatsoever to the movie?

Hmm, maybe I've gone on a rant for too long...

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby GhostWolfe » Sun Nov 08, 2009 2:07 am UTC

I watched Knowing last weekend and I was pretty disappointed. It can't hold a candle to my two nominees for worst movie, but at the end I kinda felt "well that was pointless".

I am a (little) bit of a horror fan. I like the Final Destination movies because they are so ludicrously contrived. It's fun to watch these crazy circumstances come together in the most unlikely of ways to end with over-blown gory death. I get a little squicked out by gore, I think might be part of the fun.

It's hard to explain why some people like things and don't like others. I can't stand mango. Everyone thinks I'm crazy, but I just don't enjoy the way it tastes. *shrugs*

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby rnbguru » Tue Nov 10, 2009 7:07 pm UTC

People might disagree but almost every Coen brother movie qualifies here for me. Probably the worst though had to be Raising Arizona. Just wanted to tear my eyes out.

However, seeing the Knowing posted here, that's got potential too.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Spacemilk » Tue Nov 10, 2009 9:25 pm UTC

I disliked "Knowing" because I felt it went too far and revealed too much at the end. It had excellent characters (although Nicholas Cage was a little 2D), it built the tension beautifully (to the point where I was freaking out at the part where they were outside in the dark)... and then it blew its load all over revealing it was an alien movie. Why not just leave us to guess?! Or do a better reveal - something, ANYTHING but that ending. It was flat-out absurd. I actually almost started laughing when I realized what was going on - that's how badly they blew that ending. Siiiigh.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Clumpy » Wed Nov 11, 2009 7:35 am UTC

Either The Burbs or the Hitchhiker's movie.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Amnesiasoft » Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:53 pm UTC

I just watched Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. That was pretty bad.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Naurgul » Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:05 pm UTC

In the recent past, from most cringe-worthy to least, Scar 3D, Felon, Law Abiding Citizen, and maybe Wanted. Not counting random films I just stumbled upon on TV, because my brain deletes them too fast and I can't keep track of them.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Pryomancer » Fri Nov 13, 2009 2:20 pm UTC

Any of the Genre Movie films. (Date Movie, Scary Movie but not the first one, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie etc).

They are just awful. It should have stopped with the original Scary Movie. They are a prime example of the movie industry milking something good because it's popular, at the expense of making a decent film.

Also, the Saw series is just pointless now.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Chavroux » Fri Nov 13, 2009 3:42 pm UTC

Arachnid Tiger wrote:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0270846/

Apparently, its #1 on the bottom 100.


Not without reason. Ms Doubtfire and The Trial of Billy Jack are still worse though.

TToBJ is 3 hours of pretentious hippie crap. After seeing this movie I was so offended that I wanted to hurt everyone that had something to do with this movie, and everyone that looks like (or whose name sounds like) someone that had something to do with it...

... gah, even thinking about that movie makes me mad.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby adanedhel728 » Sat Nov 14, 2009 3:30 am UTC

What kind of sucks is that a lot of people have listed movies I've really liked :P

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby The Locutus of Borgnine » Mon Nov 16, 2009 1:55 am UTC

New in Town is just bad. Not so bad it´s good, just bad. Which is weird, because it´s just some family-friendly trifle, but it was bad.

Jesus Christ Vampire Slayer is just uncategorizable. It was hilarious, but I also wanted to puke shards of my own pelvis up after seeing it.

Guy who thinks Empire Strikes Back and Two Towers are the weak members of their series, wow. Just. Wow.

Also don't get The Number 23 or Coen Brothers hate. Especially the Bros Coen. Their movies are technically accomplished, tightly scripted and don't have a single element that doesn't mean something. Except Ladykillers, that thing blows.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby headprogrammingczar » Mon Nov 16, 2009 2:57 pm UTC

The Number 23 revolved around an idiotic superstition that some random number actually means something, then the main character goes out of his way to see that number everywhere. The rest of your post is entirely correct though.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby ProZac » Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:40 pm UTC

People will likely hate me for this, but for me, easily Borat and Superbad. I didn't want to see Borat and was roped into it. It got a slight chuckle from me (when he threw the chicken on the ground). I literally buried my face in the couch when watching Superbad, as I couldn't bear it anymore. I'll admit though, I just hate watching ignorant people put themselves in awkward situations.

I also saw Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat movies mentioned. Those aren't bad, they're just 'deliciously cheesy'.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby thicknavyrain » Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:56 pm UTC

Get smart was a film that'll make you hurl,
The jokes are so corny your toes'll curl,
Poor acting, poor plot, nothing good to mention,
Of shitty comedy, it meets and overdoes every convention,
Honestly the time could have been better spent,
On trying to get my letter sent,
To the writer's office to say "Please take your face,
and smash it under an anvil and leave no trace".
Actually, that might have been way more funny,
Than that stupid shit on which I wasted my money.[1]
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby GhostWolfe » Tue Nov 17, 2009 12:50 am UTC

headprogrammingczar wrote:The Number 23 revolved around an idiotic superstition that some random number actually means something.
I interpreted that as a sign of how bat-shit insane he was >_>

/angell
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby diotimajsh » Tue Nov 17, 2009 3:07 am UTC

The Planet.

Oh God, it was so bad.

Kind of enjoyable on the "so-bad-it's-good" end of things, maybe.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby TechiesGoBoom » Sun Nov 22, 2009 5:29 am UTC

GhostWolfe wrote:Okay, runner-up to the worst movie I've ever seen in my life: Dragonball Evolution. Now, granted, I knew what I was getting myself into when I started, but...

It's wrong. All wrong. All so, very wrong. Visually it's wrong. Goku's stance is all wrong. The dialogue was written by 5-year-olds. The acting is terrible - yes, even from Chow Yun-Fat. They got everything wrong.

...

I'm going to go put on some episode of Dragonball until I forget about this travesty.

/angell


See when I watched this movie i tried to forget everything that i ever knew about Dragonball and instead convinced myself that this was just a stand-alone movie that had just happened to have characters with names similar to Dragonball. As long as watch the movie in this manner it is anctually kinda decent; afterwards i didn't feel as if i wasted my time. Same goes with The Hitchhiker's Guide and just about every other book turned movie.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby SQL Dave » Sun Nov 22, 2009 6:10 am UTC

The Happening.

Bad name. Bad (thoroughly predictable) main plot. Confusing/unfulfilling sub-plots. Community college level dialogue. Transparent-as-hell author's message ("Humans are bad, mmm'kay?"). I thought M. Night was capable of better (I fully expected, at the end when the citizens of whatever foreign country that is start to experience the same "Happening" as plagued America, to see the Robot Chicken version of Shyamalan pop up and say "What a twist!")

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby khariifa » Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:04 pm UTC

Bloodrayne II. This is the only movie I've ever had to turn off because it was so bad. Frankly, I'm surprised there isn't more Uwe Boll hate in this thread.
Gigli. Just painful.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Idhan » Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:23 am UTC

I'm not sure if this counts, because I think I only saw some of it, and it was on TV, but what about "The Class of Nuke 'Em High 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown"?

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby PatrickRsGhost » Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:05 am UTC

The Polar Express.

While the animation was awesome, albeit a bit choppy and not as realistic as Pixar or anything else Dreamworks has managed to pull out of their asses, the movie as a whole was quite possibly one of the most depressing, sociopathic holiday films I had ever seen. That sound heard was all of the fun and joy being sucked out of Christmas due to that movie. A ripple was created when air filled in the void. It wasn't just the ending that was depressing, but when the kids try to follow the music, and they end up in a train station that looks a bit run down, and a very popular Christmas song plays on a loudspeaker, but it sounds like the record is deteriorating, and even begins to slow down.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby DoctorSubmarine » Thu Dec 24, 2009 2:39 am UTC

The most painful filmgoing experience I've ever had (aside from Uwe Boll films, which seem to be a given among "worst movie ever" lists, and MST3K style films that are fun to watch with some good riffing) was by far Napoleon Dynamite. That film was so terrible, so god awfully BORING, that I wanted to reach through my television and slap the director. Right in the face. I don't think I've ever enjoyed a movie less than this one.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby mystic_aura » Thu Dec 24, 2009 10:40 am UTC

The Invisible. Most definitely.
I have no idea how I watched the entire movie.
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