Movies to AVOID

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Postby scrt_rbt_agnt » Mon Aug 27, 2007 9:21 pm UTC

the hot chick - i was forced to go see this with my girlfriend at the time when it was in theaters. it features rob schneider who plays a girl in a man's body (which happens by some magic earrings, wtf?). the only funny part in this movie was the urinal scene at the club. i wanted to leave the theater the whole time.


daredevil - this is possibly the worst movie i have ever seen and not liked. the entire movie made me want to expel my brain through my mouth, shove it back in and then chew it up. i wont even mention the terrible acting, but what really got me was the lack of an original soundtrack. every mildly interesting scene was ruined by some trite modern rock song playing loud and clear in the background. this movie is just 10 bad music videos strung together.

history of violence - bad plot. bad choice of sex scenes. i wasn't even entertained. i can't even believe that no one has mentioned this yet.
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Postby william » Mon Aug 27, 2007 9:54 pm UTC

scrt_rbt_agnt wrote:history of violence - bad plot. bad choice of sex scenes. i wasn't even entertained. i can't even believe that no one has mentioned this yet.

You lose the right to comment on movies. The sex scene wasn't meant to be tittilating.

That movie does have one glaring flaw aside from which it is awesome. The ending.
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Postby sunkistbabe1 » Mon Aug 27, 2007 9:58 pm UTC

scrt_rbt_agnt wrote:the hot chick

daredevil

history of violence - bad plot. bad choice of sex scenes. i wasn't even entertained. i can't even believe that no one has mentioned this yet.


No one could pay me to go see Hot Chick

Daredevil I liked... it wasn't as great as other comic book to movie adaptations, but it was ok. The rock music was very good... have you not listened to Evanscence before?

History of Violence - I found quite intriguing. I know some movies are not going to please everyone, but sometimes its nice to have a movie that doesn't have nonstop violence and shooting and has an actual plot and dialogue. Die Hard 4 was great for entertainment... with all the violence you didn't have to think much. But movies like History of Violence are a nice refreshing change.
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Postby william » Mon Aug 27, 2007 10:04 pm UTC

Interesting note about Die Hard: After the movie's release, there were tons of movie pitches along the lines of "Die Hard in an X". This mostly stopped after someone attempted "Die Hard in an office building" unaware that the original Die Hard was in an office building.
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Postby Jesse » Mon Aug 27, 2007 10:06 pm UTC

DareDevil normal, or Director's Cut?

Because the Director's Cut actually made sense, and was badass.

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Postby sunkistbabe1 » Mon Aug 27, 2007 10:35 pm UTC

Jesster wrote:DareDevil normal, or Director's Cut?

Because the Director's Cut actually made sense, and was badass.


Not sure if I saw the Director's Cut... I'll have to check the DVD we have at home later on.
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Postby Jesse » Mon Aug 27, 2007 10:39 pm UTC

If you haven't, then watch it. It changes certain things to make sense.

Like where in the Hollywood release he spent the night with Elektra instead of being a hero, in the Director's Cut he abandoned her to go be the hero.

Also, about half an hour's worth of extra footage to flesh out the story and characters, including a whole extra character and sub-storyline.

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Postby arachnophilia » Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:19 pm UTC

Jesster wrote:Like where in the Hollywood release he spent the night with Elektra instead of being a hero, in the Director's Cut he abandoned her to go be the hero.


speaking of elektra...

...actually, it wasn't quite as bad as i thought it would be. now that first fantastic four movie, wow was that bad. i think as a rule, we should just put:

comic book movies in general*
*excluding: (etc etc etc).

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Postby sunkistbabe1 » Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:22 pm UTC

arachnophilia wrote:
Jesster wrote:Like where in the Hollywood release he spent the night with Elektra instead of being a hero, in the Director's Cut he abandoned her to go be the hero.


speaking of elektra...

...actually, it wasn't quite as bad as i thought it would be. now that first fantastic four movie, wow was that bad. i think as a rule, we should just put:

comic book movies in general*
*excluding: (etc etc etc).


I thought the opposite... Elektra was awful. Fantastic Four was pretty good. I wouldn't go so far as calling it great, but i liked it ok.
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Postby Belial » Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:26 pm UTC

Comic book movies have been decidededly mixed for me, honestly.

Bad: Hulk, X-men 3, Ghost Rider, Elektra, Fantastic Four, Fantastic Four 2

Middling: Blade 3, Daredevil, 300, Spiderman 3

Good: Spiderman 1, Spiderman 2, X-men 1, X-men 2, Blade 1, Blade 2, Sin City
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Postby Jesse » Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:27 pm UTC

I completely agree with Belial's list.

Although I add Batman Begins to the Good.

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Postby Belial » Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:29 pm UTC

I *knew* I was forgetting something.
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Postby sunkistbabe1 » Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:47 pm UTC

Jesster wrote:I completely agree with Belial's list.

Although I add Batman Begins to the Good.


That had to be the best Batman movie ever! And one of my all time favs. Finally a non-cheesy remake!!!! Every other batman movie can just be tossed in the garbage and forgotten. :)
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Postby Traisenau » Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:09 am UTC

sunkistbabe1 wrote:
Jesster wrote:I completely agree with Belial's list.

Although I add Batman Begins to the Good.


That had to be the best Batman movie ever! And one of my all time favs. Finally a non-cheesy remake!!!! Every other batman movie can just be tossed in the garbage and forgotten. :)


Yeah... never mind the genius that was the original "Batman", Jack Nicholson was the greatest villain EVER because he is completely fucking insane already.

Batman Returns was okay, and I only like Batman Forever when Jim Carrey was onscreen.
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Postby scrt_rbt_agnt » Tue Aug 28, 2007 5:50 am UTC

sunkistbabe1 wrote:
Daredevil I liked... it wasn't as great as other comic book to movie adaptations, but it was ok. The rock music was very good... have you not listened to Evanscence before?



modern rock is not my cup of tea. evanescence put out a good demo back in the nineties before they came out on a major label. everything was produced correctly and didn't sound like the overproduced pile that it is today (basically linkin park, trapt, wtf is popular now i don't even know).

anyway. that's for the music thread. i don't really feel like getting into that.

also, i understand the sex scenes in history of violence were not for hotness, but i still think they were awful. there were absolutely no redeeming qualities about that movie. the story was predictable, and the ending was terrible.
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Postby sunkistbabe1 » Tue Aug 28, 2007 5:58 am UTC

I like Linkin Park, I find their stuff different than a lot of other stuff out there... but I listen to so much different music I wouldn't say I have a genre I listen to. But you're right, that's for the music thread.

Some people might not like A History of Violence because its not what they expect, but that is what I like most about it. I wouldn't even call that one of my favorite movies, but I did enjoy it. As for predictable, that's one characteristic I wouldn't use to describe it. (and ive watched a lot of movies) TV has become predictable, especially crime dramas. I prefer it when a producer will do something different or unusual in a movie, that sets it apart. We are in an age right now of endless remakes, and it's extremely refreshing to have something original.
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Postby LoonRadio » Tue Aug 28, 2007 3:47 pm UTC

Other bad comic book movies: Punisher (Dolph Lundgren version,) Superman III, Red Sonja, Swamp Thing...
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Postby Jesse » Tue Aug 28, 2007 5:26 pm UTC

Also, Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD, which starred David Hasslehoff as Nick.

"Nick, we thought you were dead!"
"I got better."

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Postby sunkistbabe1 » Tue Aug 28, 2007 6:32 pm UTC

Jesster wrote:Also, Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD, which starred David Hasslehoff as Nick.

"Nick, we thought you were dead!"
"I got better."


Oh me yarm, they made a movie out of that? With Hasslehoff!! hahaha, I can only imagine how bad that was.

Hubby still has a bunch of the original Nick Fury comics. He has 3 boxes in his closet of bagged comics from 30 to 40 years ago... including Xmen #2 i got him for christmas one year.
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Postby Malice » Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:51 am UTC

Jesster wrote:DareDevil normal, or Director's Cut?

Because the Director's Cut actually made sense, and was badass.


Quoted for Truth.

I love Daredevil, but until I saw the Director's Cut it was a mostly irrational love. Now I can appreciate it as a pretty good movie, too.

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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Will » Tue Oct 09, 2007 5:44 am UTC

If it hasn't been mentioned before: The Invisible. Longest hour and a half of my LIFE.
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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Narsil » Tue Oct 09, 2007 9:24 pm UTC

Ghost Rider was actually pretty good.

Provided you shut your brain firmly "off" beforehand. Seriously. No thought at all. And I guarantee you will enjoy it.
Granted, if even one neuron is on, the movie will seem like complete shit.
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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Jesse » Tue Oct 09, 2007 10:53 pm UTC

The Kingdom. I knew it was goign to be bad before I saw it. It was even more boring than I'd expected.

(NB: The only reason I even went in the first place is because it was Movie Night with my grandad, and it was the only thing on we hadn't seen other than Bratz).

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Re:

Postby someguy » Tue Oct 09, 2007 11:24 pm UTC

The Buddh—

You know what, actually? Do watch it. It's so bad it's just awesome.

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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby justinpizza » Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:20 pm UTC

I hate Anchorman with the fiery passion of my hateful little soul. It's pathetic when a film is funnier when quoted by friends than it is when you see it for the first time. I walked out out of the theater. To this day, it's the only film I've ever walked out on.

Will Ferrel(sp?) should stick to supporting roles. The only exception to this, as far as I'm concerned, is Stranger Than Fiction.

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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Victorkm » Thu Oct 11, 2007 4:57 pm UTC

justinpizza wrote:I hate Anchorman with the fiery passion of my hateful little soul. It's pathetic when a film is funnier when quoted by friends than it is when you see it for the first time. I walked out out of the theater. To this day, it's the only film I've ever walked out on.

Will Ferrel(sp?) should stick to supporting roles. The only exception to this, as far as I'm concerned, is Stranger Than Fiction.


Anchorman had the funniest thing I'd seen in a while in the Sex Panther jokes.

Aside from that though, you are pretty much right.

Also: Blades of Glory was really funny.

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Re:

Postby miraidesuka » Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:49 pm UTC

Belial wrote:Comic book movies have been decidededly mixed for me, honestly.

Bad: Hulk, X-men 3, Ghost Rider, Elektra, Fantastic Four, Fantastic Four 2

Middling: Blade 3, Daredevil, 300, Spiderman 3

Good: Spiderman 1, Spiderman 2, X-men 1, X-men 2, Blade 1, Blade 2

Truly Epic Win: Sin City


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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Narsil » Sun Oct 14, 2007 3:46 am UTC

Victorkm wrote:
justinpizza wrote:I hate Anchorman with the fiery passion of my hateful little soul. It's pathetic when a film is funnier when quoted by friends than it is when you see it for the first time. I walked out out of the theater. To this day, it's the only film I've ever walked out on.

Will Ferrel(sp?) should stick to supporting roles. The only exception to this, as far as I'm concerned, is Stranger Than Fiction.


Anchorman had the funniest thing I'd seen in a while in the Sex Panther jokes.

Aside from that though, you are pretty much right.

Also: Blades of Glory was really funny.

Will Ferrel films can only be appreciated in the company of friends, brain shut off. if you can accomplish that, they're genius. Thing thing is that they're *supposed* to be that stupid.
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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Rodan » Tue Oct 16, 2007 9:42 pm UTC

I agree with Belial's list, except I'd push all the Spider-Man movies down (worse) a notch.
And put Sin City in the Truly epic win level, though it did just copy the comics, but the comics were really, really good.

Ghost Rider was definitely bad. I'd have to be dead to have my brain turned off that much.
(One thing I notice, is that in the FF movies and Ghost Rider, the female leads are JUST for being pretty. In Ghost Rider, hot chick had her shirt unbuttoned just enough to show cleavage, and Jessica Alba has gotten naked (but obscured) in both movies (I laughed o hard at that scene in FF:2, because for one, the exact same thing happens to the guys, and they keep there clothes, unstable molecules wouldn't work that way, and she says "Why does this always happen to me?" All I could think was: because you're the hot one. Duh.)

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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Torvaun » Tue Oct 16, 2007 10:55 pm UTC

In the first F4, Johnny Storm lost his 'not fireproof' clothes when he started on fire. There has been no occasion where he has worn clothing other than the outfit and had it not burn.

I mean, yes, clearly hotness induces obscured nudity, but they at least tried to make some kind of effort to explain it.
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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Rodan » Tue Oct 16, 2007 10:59 pm UTC

Well, okay, see, Normal clothes burn. Their uniforms are made of unstable molecules. She happened to be wearing her uniform, and so the unstable molecules should have adapted.
There are not "invisible" UMs and "fiery"UMs, they're the same thing.
(Of course, I don't think there are ANY UMs in real life, but real life can go screw itself)

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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Torvaun » Wed Oct 17, 2007 12:48 am UTC

Hmmm. I don't recall, did Johnny have any trouble with his suit not turning invisible when he absorbed everyone's power? If not, then you are clearly right. Of course, there's the fact that he should have lost the flying and burning during that switch, just like he did every other time.

Wait, Reed didn't lose his suit to ignition when Johnny bumped into him in London. You win, clearly contrived pseudo-nudity with no in-story explanation.
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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Rodan » Wed Oct 17, 2007 1:37 am UTC

And Galactus was a cloud. That was just lame.

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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby BrotherPower » Wed Oct 17, 2007 1:44 am UTC

I'm very cautious about my movie choices. So I've dodged many bullets, but one of my biggest mistakes was Michael Bay's "Transformers."

I, originally, had no desire to see it. I thought, "No, I won't like it. I'll just want it to be like the cartoon, have a negative attitude about it, and I'll wind up not liking it no matter how hard I try."

I started reading up on it, and the general concensus was, "No, it's not like the cartoon, but it's a freaking giant robots action movie!"

So I thought, "Yeah, why not? Even it isn't like the cartoon, how can you mess up an action movie about giant robots?" I'll tell you how:

YOU FORGET TO INCLUDE THE GIANT ROBOTS.

I was stoked for the first ten minutes of the movie. The opening scene was awesome, wanton robot destruction. How could I ask for more?

Well, how about not making 90% of the movie "The zany cliche antics of Sam Witwicky, co-starring U.S. Army Propaganda?"

Michael Bay, this supposed monolith representation of popcorn summer film blockbusters, bombarded me with irritating, one-dimensional characters and an absolutely boring plotline. The short time I did get robot fight scenes, they sped by way too fast and used camera angles that just made the whole scene feel distorted and chaotic.

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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Kewangji » Wed Oct 17, 2007 1:02 pm UTC

Starship Troopers. I only saw the first one - horrible.
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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Joseph » Wed Oct 17, 2007 1:11 pm UTC

Kewangji wrote:Starship Troopers.

*snip*

There was boobs though.


The only positive I really took from that was the "pull up the shirt almost all the way and tease the kiss" move. Admittedly, that was badass.

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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Malice » Thu Oct 18, 2007 12:03 am UTC

Rodan wrote:(One thing I notice, is that in the FF movies and Ghost Rider, the female leads are JUST for being pretty. In Ghost Rider, hot chick had her shirt unbuttoned just enough to show cleavage, and Jessica Alba has gotten naked (but obscured) in both movies (I laughed o hard at that scene in FF:2, because for one, the exact same thing happens to the guys, and they keep there clothes, unstable molecules wouldn't work that way, and she says "Why does this always happen to me?" All I could think was: because you're the hot one. Duh.)


What you have to realize is that Hollywood's long term memory lasts only about 30 years. (It's short-term memory is something like a week, but that's beside the point.) We're starting to roll over into the 80s in terms of proper nostalgia, as evidenced by the "Halloween" remake--the slasher genre invented in the 80s has come full circle and is now getting spit out again.

The 70s is when comics made their transition in the public eye from "stuff for children" (said perception reaching its height in the 50s with the McCarthy-esque Comics Code, a great artistic setback for the medium, and the creation of Mad Magazine) to "stuff for teenagers". This latter happened because of the 70s comics collecting bubble, which (in terms of public perception) was less important in economic terms and more important in terms of straight-out collecting--that fevered, manic urge to have every single issue of Gammaman, including the gold-embossed collectors edition with the upside-down plane.

Whence the stereotype of the pimply, obsessive, sweating, anti-social, glass-wearing, comics-reading nerd.

This age demographic is Hollywood's bread and butter since about the same period (marked by 1977, the last year a film like Annie Hall about middle-aged, neurotic, romantic New Yorkers could beat out Star Wars for best picture). Hence, by the time the 70s/80s nostalgia period comes around, we get a spate of comic adaptations (mostly superheroes, but with a few other types mixed in...), aimed precisely at the same demographic which overpowered the comics medium (in the public perception).

Like any stereotype, it has some basis in truth; like any stereotype, however, it is deeply insulting and also extremely damaging to the medium.

The result, then, is Daredevil. An okay superhero movie. The Director's cut elevates it to "pretty good". What's one of the major differences? In the director's cut of the movie, Jennifer Connelly's character (Elektra) is a love interest--not only that, but a tragic one, because the possibility of love enters the main character's life and then, through evil, is taken away. This sets up a beautiful parallel between what happens to her and what happened to his father when he was a kid--tied up neatly by the fact that the same man is ultimately responsible for both losses.

In the theatrical version. they added a steamy sex scene by the fireplace. Why? Cause she was hot and that's what Hollywood believes comic readers come to see.
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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Rodan » Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:08 am UTC

I still hope that one day comic book movies (besides Sin City) will be awesome.
Maybe Iron Man or Watchmen will be... maybe... >sigh<

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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby Mecks » Thu Oct 18, 2007 9:32 am UTC

Rodan wrote:I still hope that one day comic book movies (besides Sin City) will be awesome.
Maybe Iron Man or Watchmen will be... maybe... >sigh<


Watchmen better well be good.

Iron Man will be great, though. I know this because of a recently added rule to my Big Book o' Movie Rules. Here is a short excerpt from this lengthy tome in my head. The first applies to Iron Man, the others are shown for the purposes of reinforcing its credibility.

Big Book o' Movie Rules wrote:
-- If it stars a post-drug rehab Robert Downey Jr., it will probably be good.
-- If it stars Steve Buscemi, it will probably be good.
-- If it was written by Charlie Kaufmann, it will probably be good.
-- If it was directed by Clint Eastwood, it will probably be good.


Extracting even such a small list as this from the Big Book o' Movie Rules leaves me physically and mentally exhausted, so I will be unable to defend it for the next, oh, 36 hours.
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Re: Movies to AVOID

Postby LoonRadio » Thu Oct 18, 2007 11:13 pm UTC

Malice wrote:In the director's cut of the movie, Jennifer Connelly's character (Elektra) is a love interest--


I wish Jennifer Connelly was in Daredevil. Alas, it was Jennifer Garner.
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