Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

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Leonard, Part 5
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Re: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Postby Leonard, Part 5 » Fri May 30, 2008 8:28 pm UTC

I had to fast forward through several scenes in this film because I hated it so much and just wanted it to end. I read the books as a child and even then was able to see the completely obvious Christian propaganda, so I was prepared to have to sit through that, but I forgotten just how much stupid crap there was to Narnia. Too many talking animals (really, ONE is too many) and
Spoiler:
Santa showing up to give children WEAPONS
it was all too childish for me. And added to the top of that was the fact that the film was boring and I didn't care about any of the characters. I'll likely skip the rest of the series.
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Re: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Postby JayDee » Sat May 31, 2008 1:47 am UTC

Leonard, Part 5 wrote:
Spoiler:
Santa showing up to give children WEAPONS
I gotta say, as a kid that would have made Christmas awesome.
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Re: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Postby tzar1990 » Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:40 am UTC

Okay... I just got back from watching Prince Caspian, and I have to say, I'm disappointed. It seems like the directors took the book, looked at it, and decided to spice it up to make it have MOAR ACTIONS AND T3H ROMANCE!!1shift+1Seriously though, it's like they just didn't care. Some of the worst bits (in my opinion)

-Peter being tempted by the White Witch's offer of power. Caspian being tempted I can understand, him having only heard of her, but peter knows exactly what she was and did.
-The night attack. Honestly, it was just random action for the sake of action. If they wanted to show the heroes losing a battle, they could have used the one where the giant attacked at the wrong time... You know, the one that actually happened in the book!
-The Susan/Caspian romance. As far as I can tell, they seemed to have added this just to please the squealing fangirls who think Caspian is hot. In some ways, it bothers me more that the pairings in my sig, because I can just avoid anything that stupid if I ever decide to visit FF.net's Narnia section again.
-They made Susan into a strong action girl. I admit that I like her new personality better, it'll make it her behavior in later books (you know, the whole forgetting Narnia thing) hard to explain. Plus, they took away her aversion to killing, which I thought was a realistic personality trait for her to have.
-They made Miraz and his lot unnecessarily evil. He was implied to be a cruel dictator in the books, but he didn't attack during a truce, tell his men to fix the duel in his favor, or order his generals to execute their men for failure.
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Re: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Postby annals » Wed Jun 04, 2008 6:21 am UTC

Did anyone really expect the movies to be good? Disney is evil. They ruined all the old fairytales they could get their hands on, and now they're moving on to more modern ones.

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Re: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Postby Rowsdower » Sun Jun 08, 2008 2:24 am UTC

The movies are crap, but I've loved the books for, like, ever.
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Re: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Postby podbaydoor » Thu Jun 12, 2008 7:04 pm UTC

Joeldi wrote:2) They aren't making them out of order, they just skipped A Horse and his Boy because it's racist as hell.

It's not like C.S. Lewis was the first or last to create the fantasy exotic cruel dark-skinned culture in his world. At least he didn't have the obligatory gypsy caravan scene that shows up in every other goddamn fantasy adventure novel.

Re: Prince Caspian
I still haven't seen it, but based on what I've read and heard about it, Disney's magical touch has done no favors for it. I'll still go, if only to ogle Peter Mosely, but I'll probably be disappointed.
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Re: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Postby cj-maranup » Fri Jun 27, 2008 8:26 pm UTC

The first thing that struck me about this was that unlike the older British film, I didn't feel an immediate & overpowering urge to choke the life out of Lucy... So thank the gods for the casting, or maybe I'm just more tolerant of whiny 8(?) year old girls than I was 10-15 years ago?

After that I happily suspended disbelief and went along for the ride. I guess it's not a spectacular film but I enjoyed the nostalgia enough & read in the bits they glossed over :)

As a continuity thing - the time past between The Lion etc & Caspian is supposed to be a year in England & ~1300 years in Narnia right? And the gap to Dawn Treader is within Caspian's lifetime in Narnia & how long in England? I thought Caspian was old in Dawn Treader but still not much time had past in England? Was there really a romantic subtext between Lucy & Caspian in Dawn Treader? I didn't think CS Lewis did romance... And that Lucy was a bit young!

I don't know if they'll manage more than 5 films, but it would be nice if they did the Magician's Nephew and maybe The Horse & his Boy (good point about the racism, but aren't the Telmarenes being depicted as ~mediterranean in Caspian?) after The Last Battle.

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Re: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Postby Quixotess » Sun Jun 29, 2008 6:31 am UTC

I'm pretty sure that the Telmarenes were supposed to have a Spanish accent--I thought they were being portrayed as conquistadors. Like, actual Spain.

Anyway, I'm a big fan of the Susan personality. CS Lewis was misogynistic as hell and I thought that Disney made the right change for once.

I don't know why everyone's going on about Prince Caspian. You know who's sexy? Peter is sexy! Extremely so! And frankly Edmund is sexy as well. There's something about these movies in general that just kind of... mmmmmmmmmm. It's distracting.

Did anyone notice the bear? The hilarious CGI bear that only had one line and then stood around looking awkward for the rest of the movie?
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Re: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Postby cj-maranup » Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:38 pm UTC

(Sorry if Monty Python quotes are passe here - I still like them...)So do I - LTB

Who has been messing with my font size? :( Explain yourself before I call for the comfy chair :evil:

I was thinking by making the telmarenes hispanic (were they sort of arabic in the books?) they could do the horse & his boy without being so overtly racist, but I guess I forgot about america & the mexicans, cubans etc... Don't mind me...

To be honest, I feel like a paedophile having an uncle merv at Peter & Edmund... Ben Barnes is at least a bit older!

Have they made Susan less sappy? Oh good, Lewis really was as bad as his buddy Tolkien for 1D female characters! I will even forgive them writing her back into The Last Battle for character continuity - I always despised her for preferring make-up & boys to Narnian adventure!

There's a really goofy bear in the book as well isn't there? Dammit I've got to go see this movie... More soon ;)

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Re: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Postby Zohar » Tue Jul 01, 2008 6:12 am UTC

That would be the Large Text Baron (LTB), an unknown mod (at least, unknown to me) that edits posters who put tiny, tiny text in their messages. And rightly so!
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Re: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Postby superglucose » Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:35 am UTC

Man this movie is so mediocre in the most remarkable way ever. I honestly can't remember a bigger emotional rollercoaster I've ever seen... observe:

Asland unfreezing the stone statues by gently breathing on them: "Holy shit that's AWESOME! And the animation!"

The stupid little girl pulling out her letter-opener and the dumbass grin on her face: "I am so wholly filled with shame for even considering watching this dumbass movie."

Phoenix sweeping over the battlefield: "Awesome!"

"For Asland!" : "Groooooooaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn"

The Fox outsmarting the wolves: "Dude, that fox is so kickass he deserves a friggen medal."

The blatantly sexist remark from Santa Claus : "Hmmm... offensive. Nice."

The comment about "always being winter, and never Christmas" : "Cool metaphor for something being cold and never warm... I like the idea of it never being a joyful time."

The speech the witch gave over Asland's body: "Oh me yarm Oh this is so stupid... can I go do something else now?"

It switched between epic and emberrasing more often and quicker than I thought humanly possible. Overall? I'd give it about a D. Better than a lot of the dumbass movies that hit theaters these days (looking right at YOU, remake of the 2004 box-office bust The Hulk) and more evidence that SOMEONE dear GOD had better release a decent ORIGINAL sword-and-sorcery movie. They won't make a bundle, they'll earn enough to buy the goddamn country.
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Re: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Postby jareturns » Thu Jul 03, 2008 11:56 am UTC

I really hated the Disney version actually, but loved the really old BBC series which was way more superior. I don't think I can even remember anything positive about the Disney movie, it was so bad that even Tilda Swindon and Dawn French couldn't save it. I haven't seen Prince Caspian yet, but I don't hold much hope for it.


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