Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

It's only cool if no one's heard of it.

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Ati
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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby Ati » Sat Jan 03, 2009 6:42 pm UTC

Let me know if this one's been done before (didn't have time to read the whole thread; I swear I'll do it later).


There is, in fact, someone like you. All human being genomes are incredibly similar, to within a fraction of a percentage point.


Also, if you're in a hotel and can't leave, try and remember whether the name of the place started with a 'B'. If it did, try the windows and stay away from showers.
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Tag
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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby Tag » Sat Jan 03, 2009 6:50 pm UTC

Pavements are noted for their stationary nature, so any pursuit of them is likely to be both easy and unfulfilling.

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Tatsubei Yagyu
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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby Tatsubei Yagyu » Sat Jan 03, 2009 8:23 pm UTC

Tag wrote:Pavements are noted for their stationary nature, so any pursuit of them is likely to be both easy and unfulfilling.


That's gotta be one of my favorite ones, yet. I'll be back after putting my iPod on shuffle and activating my witty functio- OH it seem to already be on. ;)

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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby 1337geek » Sun Jan 04, 2009 4:01 am UTC

Tag wrote:Pavements are noted for their stationary nature, so any pursuit of them is likely to be both easy and unfulfilling.

Is that referring to "Follow the Yellow Brick Road" from the Wizard of Oz?
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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby Tatsubei Yagyu » Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:25 am UTC

1337geek wrote:
Tag wrote:Pavements are noted for their stationary nature, so any pursuit of them is likely to be both easy and unfulfilling.

Is that referring to "Follow the Yellow Brick Road" from the Wizard of Oz?


Nah, "Chasing Pavements," by Snow Patrol. Good song~

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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby Of Negligible Mass » Sun Jan 04, 2009 6:41 pm UTC

Ahem, I think that's "Chasing Cars" you're thinking of...

"Chasing Pavements" is *shudders* Adele
Don't like it?

... Neither did I

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1337geek
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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby 1337geek » Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:35 am UTC

I figured it was some new-ish pop song I'd never heard of. But ya never know....
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Sto Helit
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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby Sto Helit » Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:44 pm UTC

I would be surprised if the Coldplay ones hadn't been done before, but since I only managed to read through 13 pages of this thread, I'm not sure. These are just in case they haven't. The other two I'm almost certain have never been done.

Normal birds cannot fly at the speed of sound (hmm... maybe if you fired it from a cannon, or tied it to a rocket...).

If you ever ruled the world, I wasn't aware of it.

Four seasons in one day is not even remotely possible.

If raindrops keep falling on your head, then you really need to buy an umbrella. I believe Rhianna has one, maybe you can share.

(In a moment of despair as I began to question all of my favorite songs) Is Rasputin even real?!
Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby bigglesworth » Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:49 pm UTC

Generation Y. I don't remember the First Gulf War, but do remember floppy disks.

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Sto Helit
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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby Sto Helit » Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:36 am UTC

bigglesworth wrote:Yes?


Yay!
Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
Bill Bailey

You look just like you!
Eric Idle

…And one of them turned to me and said, 'Oh my God! Eric Idle!'
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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby arcana07 » Wed Jan 07, 2009 7:35 am UTC

Girls do not typically go for boys who are so easily manipulated by love that they, in fact, act like puppets.

You know, *you* could leave that young girl's life yourself. Just write her a letter explaining why, drop it in her mailbox, move, and change phone numbers. It's still the 1960s. You can escape this underage honey trap if she doesn't want to leave.

Listen, Johnny, don't waste your affection on some wannabe gold-digger, even if it's apparent she can't score with those rich guys. Find a good woman who will work with you and you two can achieve those riches and glories together!

To be more modern:

Not everyone has a schedule that allows for Sundays to be "fun days". They can be "I don't want to run days", but typically Sundays are days in preparation for the upcoming week, so that your Mondays don't have to be quite so manic.

You know, you could just find another hangout that doesn't have "that song" on the jukebox so that even if he *does* put a dime into said jukebox (or whatever amount it takes to play a song) you wouldn't run the risk of hearing it anymore.

Clark, look at you. You're f***ing GORGEOUS. Unless you happen to attract female jerks, I fail to see how you could have ever been in a relationship that ended with dreams being shattered and your feeling like you had to run away.

(I do in fact still love all of the above songs so perhaps this exercise was futile.)
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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby viscusanima » Thu Jan 08, 2009 8:13 am UTC

phlip wrote:
Chfan wrote:I'm currently not hurting, and I'm part of everybody.

/lame

Since the line is "Everybody hurts, sometimes", then yes, I agree with your rating.

So a counterexample would have to be a member of "everybody" who never hurts.


Someone with CIPA.

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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby wst » Thu Jan 08, 2009 7:25 pm UTC

I defy anyone, even a rockstar, to try to drive 15 cars at the same time.
Anything I said pre-2014 that you want to quote me on, just run it past me to check I still agree with myself.

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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby Torben » Thu Jan 08, 2009 8:15 pm UTC

I think it's quite clear a 7 nation army could hold you back.
1101010111111110001111001111111 - tell me if you get it...

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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby Dromtry » Sat Jan 10, 2009 7:10 pm UTC

I'm not a fan of large posteriors on a women. Sorry, Sir Mix-A-Lot.
~steve

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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby iddqd » Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:54 pm UTC

Since it's impossible to stop time, it marches on for everyone, not just for whom the bell tolls.

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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby Bennt » Sun Jan 11, 2009 3:22 am UTC

You can't take anything "for a car", much less a boat.

People are not happy when their heads are caving in.

Nightlights don't talk, and they cannot be a person's friend.

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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby Sir_Elderberry » Sun Jan 11, 2009 3:38 am UTC

Bennt wrote:People are not happy when their heads are caving in.


For that matter, snowmen do not have protective rubber skin.
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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby guyy » Sun Jan 11, 2009 7:21 am UTC

Sto Helit wrote:I would be surprised if the Coldplay ones hadn't been done before, but since I only managed to read through 13 pages of this thread, I'm not sure.


The second one is new, I think. But the best one of all is this, which contains the inexplicable lyric "tie yourself to a marshmallow." I mean, what?

Also, lights that ignite your bones will probably incinerate you, and should not be used for guidance.

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Sto Helit
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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby Sto Helit » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:47 am UTC

guyy wrote:
Sto Helit wrote:I would be surprised if the Coldplay ones hadn't been done before, but since I only managed to read through 13 pages of this thread, I'm not sure.


The second one is new, I think. But the best one of all is this, which contains the inexplicable lyric "tie yourself to a marshmallow." I mean, what?


Isn't it 'tie yourself to a mast'...? But 'tie yourself to a marshmallow' is definitely the better lyric, I have to say. It does sound a bit like it, though, doesn't it?
Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
Bill Bailey

You look just like you!
Eric Idle

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Michael Palin

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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby garren101 » Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:47 am UTC

There is no place over the rainbow for a rainbow is just the effect of the refraction of light though water in the air.
The sunrise has no circulatory system, and therefore you can not dream onto it.
An air-car that is two lanes wide would most likely be far too heavy to effectively chase a Ferrari 166 MM Barchetta.
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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby frogman » Thu Jan 15, 2009 4:35 am UTC

Sorry if any of these have been done, I read to about the 9th page when I came up with these.

There has been no scientific proof of a species of bird that can fly at the speed of sound.

I'm sure some of us will float on less than satisfactorily, assuming it is possible for humans to float.

If one's skin was whiter than sour cream they would certainly not have the melanin content in their skin to stand riding a Segway, or going to a Renaissance Faire, or any other outdoor activity for that matter.

Everything is not catching on fire. You would not be singing if this were so. You would be on fire. A more appropriate sentence would be "Most things are catching on fire".

I'm sure you can do other things at this time than make it up to me (or whoever the subject of your song is) somehow.

In one song, you state that Tom is a junkie, but in another you state that he is an astronaut. I think NASA probably preforms drug tests before takeoff.

The statement that a decrease of light in a situation helps the safety of said situation is probably wrong, as visually you can assess dangers better.

If you Raiders of molten core had no life, you would not be raiding molten core. You would be dead.
yeah yeah yeah

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Re: Let's ruin songs with knowledge!

Postby Ati » Thu Jan 15, 2009 5:14 am UTC

You may be a lumberjack, but you're certainly not okay. You have issues with gender identity, and should probably seek councilling and possibly gender reassignment surgery, after giving the matter much serious consideration.
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