Twilight?

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Alder
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Alder » Fri Jan 16, 2009 11:51 pm UTC

Kendo_Bunny wrote:I'm also writing my reactions to the book, and so far have only been able to stomach one chapter. If anyone's interested in reading, I'll post them.

Pleaseplease! I haven't gone near it, and it's still provided me with more laughter than almost anything else in the last month...:D
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Kendo_Bunny » Sat Jan 17, 2009 6:10 am UTC

For why it's taking so long, please remember a three things: One, I'm in college, taking seven courses, two of which are graduate level, and all of them involve immense amounts of reading. Two, the writing in Twilight makes me hurt in my happy place, and it takes awhile to muscle through. Three, I have things to do (things with the boyfriend, planning a baby shower, welcoming a new baby into the family, helping my best friend and her husband move, setting my own place in order, etc.)

So, these chapter notes may take awhile. But for now, here are my real time impressions of Chapter 1:

Preface: Juvenile, heavy-handed. Immature writing, telling, not showing. “I stared without breathing across the long room” 0-0

Chapter 1:
Bella: is a spoiled, whining bitch. Seriously. Escaped? Oh, woe. It’s cloudy up there.
Erratic, harebrained mother? Wide childlike eyes? How did this ditz get custody if her witless, clumsy beyond reason teenage daughter takes care of her?
“Neither of us was what anyone would call verbose”- oh, Bella, you lying bitch. "Talkative" and "verbose" do not mean the same thing. If the only sentence I said all day was "The rancorous insufflation of Boreas is markedly gelid this forenoon", I would not be talkative, but I would be verbose.
“Charlie, to his face”- disrespectful little punk. What's Charlie ever done to her, beyond living in a small town? Oh, right, that's a sin, because Bella needs to be a princess in a sunny castle.
“My clothes were too permeable”- Unless she's talking about her Hazmat suit or her deep sea diving equipment, how about “My clothes were too light”? How’s that for not being verbose?
“Blocking painful, unnecessary things”- because hanging out with Indians is soooo icky. Almost like getting raped.
“Wow. Free.”- I can hear your enthusiasm, you little snot. Your father is bending over backwards for you, and all you can do is complain that there's too much greenery about.
Typo page 6- Conversation capitalized incorrectly
“Now my horrific day tomorrow would be just that much less dreadful”- Drama queen. I was a pessimist at 16 too, but honestly? She’s laying it on way too thick.
“I tried not to dwell too much on that fact”- because sharing a bathroom is much like being sent to work in the salt mines.
“Ivory-skinned, slender, but soft”- yeah, right, you’re an ugly hag. A girl who really thought she was ugly would have said ‘fish-belly white’, 'scrawny', or ‘flabby’
“Never in harmony with me”- okay, that would be good telling in a more self-aware book. Bella is the center of the universe: she is a grade A speshul snowflake, and she thinks everyone needs to conform to her.
How dare my own father display pictures of me! A whole mantel full of pictures of his only child, like he was *EW!* related to me or something!
“Jacket, biohazard suit” *eyeroll*
Grammar mistakes on describing the school
Yes, Bella, everyone in town is talking about you, because you’re so speshul
“She brought several sheets to the counter to show roe” ???
“No one was going to bite me” I see what you did thar
Ugh, how dare this boy be friendly!? He’s all ugly and stuff. There's actually a bit of good description of him physically- "hair like an oil slick". That's good- you can see that it's black and get the feeling that it's also greasy. But good God, does she have to judge him on what he looks like the second she meets him? SMeyer keeps telling us that Bella's so mature, but then contradicts herself constantly.
What sense of humor? That wasn’t being sarcastic, that was being bitchy (She makes a crack about being half albino, because she's so unnaturally pale)
And Adoraklutz strikes! On page 10, where she shows herself to be a close-minded bitch again. Yawn, English is boring. Man, I hate math and anyone who teaches it.
God, how come these people are so pushy? They keep trying to talk to me! And ew, they’re all ugly. I mean, this girl has BIG HAIR!
And the Cullens sit there, totally ignoring everything, looking as sullen and rebellious and James-Dean-like as possible
“Unpopular names”? Seriously?
“Jealousy” because everyone is jealous and spiteful towards pretty people. It has nothing to do with them being mean and snobbish. You totally understand that, because you're totally the hot shit in this school, despite being so ugly and woefully misunderstood.
“A clear case of sour grapes” Yeah, nothing to do with them being snobs
Adoraklutz, page 12
Typo page 13 “The phra seif”
Oh, he’s thrilled, anyone would be to walk next to YOU!
“Forks was literally my personal hell on Earth”
“He didn’t appear to notice the sound of my entrance”. How about "He didn't seem to hear me come in". Man, Bella, you take verbose to new levels.
“He argued in a low, attractive voice” -_-
Random insert on how crazy handsome he is and how is voice is like velvet. His personality has already made him ugly

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Re: Twilight?

Postby Jessica » Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:58 pm UTC

Done. Finally.
Thank god, I'm free.
OH GOD THE PAIN.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby markstonia » Tue Jan 20, 2009 8:30 pm UTC

Kendo Bunny I'm beggining to agree with you, only because all of the girls I know are fanatical about Twilight, Its driving me crazy. But I still think the book is good but I am no longer going to slag anyone off.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Alder » Tue Jan 20, 2009 11:10 pm UTC

Good review, KendoBunny.

Send more!
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Kulantan wrote:I feel a great disturbance in the Fora, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and then kinda trailed off to a grumble.

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Re: Twilight?

Postby Faranya » Wed Jan 21, 2009 4:12 am UTC

The only person I actually know who has read it was a 13 year old girl.

She said it was totally ridiculous and a waste of time.

Coming from the target demographic, I'll take it as a reliable review. I'll continue my being-only-subtly-aware-of-its-existence position.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Mysidic » Thu Jan 22, 2009 12:34 am UTC

Faranya wrote:The only person I actually know who has read it was a 13 year old girl.

She said it was totally ridiculous and a waste of time.

Coming from the target demographic, I'll take it as a reliable review. I'll continue my being-only-subtly-aware-of-its-existence position.


I don't think it's horrid, but I've heard way too many fans discuss it as well-written. It's not the strength of the novels, and as noted up there they need more editing...but it'll pass, like any fad.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Kalin » Thu Jan 22, 2009 1:51 am UTC

Twilight broke my heart. Originally, I was pretty much the only person in the school who read for fun. I was thrilled when I saw other people reading, and I said, "Hey, if you guys like books, you should definitely read Ender's Game/1984/Catch-22/etc." But no. They're not interested in reading. They're interested in swooning over Edward Cullen.

So I read the books. All of them.
I'm 13, male, and I hated them. The plot of Twilight was on par with Super Mario game plots.

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Re: Twilight?

Postby Joskanathan » Thu Jan 22, 2009 2:46 am UTC

The main flaw I see in the series is the poorly developed characters. They're so bland.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby markstonia » Mon Jan 26, 2009 1:58 pm UTC

Twilight Is begining to lose its sazz, loads of people watched the film then read the book which is really annoying.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Pa-Patch » Mon Jan 26, 2009 2:13 pm UTC

markstonia wrote:Twilight Is begining to lose its sazz, loads of people watched the film then read the book which is really annoying.

Wait, does this mean we have Twilight fans who act superior to other Twilight fans because they, like, read it before it was cool?
Oh dear.

And, uh, what does sazz mean? The internet failed to tell me.

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Re: Twilight?

Postby Trumpkin » Mon Jan 26, 2009 7:29 pm UTC

Pa-Patch wrote:And, uh, what does sazz mean? The internet failed to tell me.

Fo shizzle mi nizzle
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Re: Twilight?

Postby SuperMii » Mon Jan 26, 2009 8:30 pm UTC

I Agree With markstonia, for reasons as he explained. So many people are watching the film and reading the book, its just getting a little bit boring. wonder what the new craze will be.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby markstonia » Mon Jan 26, 2009 9:03 pm UTC

Sazz is a common word down my way, it means its touch, its feeling.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Kag » Mon Jan 26, 2009 9:48 pm UTC

Oh, you mean zazz.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Trumpkin » Mon Jan 26, 2009 9:50 pm UTC

Just chilax my shizzles, no need to get aingsty down on the flipside.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Ysabeau » Tue Jan 27, 2009 2:29 am UTC

Zazz is probably slang for pizzaz.
Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed the review, KendoBunny. More, more! While I agree with the people who disapprove of Twilight, they usually don't have very good answers as to why they dislike it other than, "Oh me yarm stfu about Edward he's a pansy cos he sparkuls," which is pretty much as intelligent as the people on the opposite side of the spectrum worshipping him. It's very gratifying to find a review which has more thought put into it than that.

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Re: Twilight?

Postby Kendo_Bunny » Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:33 am UTC

Chapter 2: Much longer because the chapter was stupidly long.

“that was nattering” That word… it doesn’t mean what you think it means. And God, Bella, can you be any more of a bitch about “ugly” people? What’s wrong with Eric, besides the fact that he looks like he plays chess? She’s awfully anti-intellectual for someone so “smart”
“It was worse because Edward wasn’t in school”. You shallow, superficial little girl. Why do you want him around? He’s proven himself to be a total dickweed. He’s the Oh me yarm HAWTEST GUY IN SKOOL!!!11, but he’s mean. He’s a snob and a jerk, and acts like you’re covered in garbage. So why are you mooning about him? Did you read the book jacket first and realize that you’re supposed to fall in love with him?
Typo- page 16. The terminator isn’t capitalized
Typo- page 16 Golden Retriever is a proper name
So, you don’t want attention, but you do want people to fawn over you? You look down on Mike for being a nice guy and showing you around, while wondering where the guy who was mean to you could possibly be. There’s an empowering message for young girls- ignore the nice guy, the jerk’s better!
“Overly friendly”? She’s already making plans on how to blow off the person trying the hardest to make friends with her. This after complaining that no one was going to like her- she was going to have no friends, she never fit in anywhere, she was in for a lonely time. I can see why she didn’t have any friends in her old school: Bella is self-centered and self-absorbed, besides being rude. She doesn’t want anyone to be friendly and she certainly makes no effort to be friendly, so how exactly was she expecting to make friends?
So far I know how ugly everyone besides Edward is, and how Mike isn’t too ugly, but she still doesn’t want to be around him, but he’s too good-looking for all the other ugly people in this town. She goes on and on about how ugly people are- proving herself to be the ugliest one of all. It’s the Holden Caulfield of shallow teenage girls.
“pleased to find that I had successfully evaded my retriever friend for the moment.” And she says she wants to have friends? Really, this just reinforces what I was saying before: Bella does not want friends.
“So I requested that I be assigned kitchen detail for the duration of my stay. He was willing enough to hand over the keys to the banquet hall.” More unreliable narrator. She’s told us she isn’t “verbose”.
“I gunned my deafening engine to life” she’s going to kill that engine doing that
“It didn’t look as if it had bought them any acceptance here” MAYBE BECAUSE THEY’RE CLIQUISH SNOBS!?!
“I couldn’t imagine any door that wouldn’t be opened by that degree of beauty” and then slammed shut when people realize that the Cullen kids are snobby and mean
“I unloaded all the groceries, stuffing them in wherever I could find an open space.” She said earlier that there was no food in the kitchen. Minor, but consistency, please?
Further establishing her mother as a nitwit- she can’t imagine that her daughter wouldn’t immediately check her e-mail (though it was rather inconsiderate of Bella not to call when she landed safely) and then she can’t remember where her own shirt is. I suppose this is supposed to establish Bella as “mature” and “level-headed”, but it doesn’t make her look more competent when she’s being contrasted with a bubble-brained moron.
Page 18, first mention of Bella actually reading a book. She’s told us she has, but she has yet to show anything that would suggest she has. Then again, she’s hardly spoken to anyone, near as I can figure, which makes me wonder why everyone is still so desperate to be friends.
“Who else, I thought to myself” Why does she act like her father’s an idiot? Can’t this girl have been given one iota of respect for either of her parents?
Her mother being an imaginative cook- "I was surprised, and sad, that he could remember that far back". Not all of us have the attention spans of goldfish, Princess
Minor inconsistency: on page 17 she said she was marinating “a steak”. On page 18, she’s cooking “steaks”. Yeah, it’s nitpicking, but it just seems lazy that no one noticed that.
“A lot of the nurses at the hospital have a hard time concentrating on their work with him around." Um… aren’t there any female doctors? How about male nurses?
“Edward Cullen didn't come back to school.” How does he manage not to get in trouble for truancy? Hell, I got in trouble for truancy after officially transferring to homeschool, so how does he get off just leaving school for weeks at a time? Is it because he’s so goddamned sexy that every woman in the school just winks at his absences? Actually… I don’t think a woman has been mentioned in school, aside from the secretary. There are no female teachers.
“I was invited, and I had agreed to go, more out of politeness than desire” Bella doesn’t want friends: she lied to us right off.
“I did drive to the library Saturday, but it was so poorly stocked that I didn't bother to get a card; I would have to make a date to visit Olympia or Seattle soon and find a good bookstore.” Unless that library had no books at all, then there’s really no excuse not to get a card. In a more self-aware book, this would be good showing. It’s showing us that Bella is pessimistic, unwilling to make an effort, and unwilling to try new things. It shows she is disdainful of “small town hicks” who would be satisfied with a small library, and her longing to go to a big town.
"Ew." Snow. There went my good day.” Bella is awfully closed to new experiences. Maybe that’s why she wants to glue herself as an unchanging corpse to Edward Cullen’s side for eternity- then she would never have to face any sort of change.
"Besides, I thought it was supposed to come down in flakes — you know, each one unique and all that. These just look like the ends of Q-tips." BUT NOT EVERYONE CAN BE A SPESHUL SNOWFLAKE LIKE YOU, BELLA!!!
Typo, page 20: “appatently”
Second typo, page 20: “I waited for them to get their food”. Why is get italicized? Are they supposed to be understanding their food through meaningful conversation?
“Twice Mike asked, with unnecessary concern, how I was feeling.” Yeah, how dare he assume that my sudden change in mood and my announcement that I felt sick means I feel sick? Who does he think he is, my friend or something?
“only they looked more like a scene from a movie than the rest of us.” Get it? Because everyone else is ugly and they're really, really, ridiculously good-looking.
“I raised my head enough to make sure that she did, contemplating violence if she resisted.” Resisted? Who the hell do you think you are, giving orders like that? You aren’t the goddamn Batman, Sweet Cheeks.
“pulled my hood up, secretly pleased.” This is more dopey than anything. If it’s cold enough to snow and that snow to pile up fast enough in one morning to have snowball fights all day, that’s not rain. That’s sleet, and driving is going to be hellish.
“even so, he looked like he'd just finished shooting a commercial for hair gel. His dazzling face was friendly, open, a slight smile on his flawless lips.” Again with the description of how insanely beautiful she is. She was scared to death of him 10 minutes ago because he was so mean to her. She was considering skipping class to not have to sit next to this jerk. And here she is describing his beauty. Not shallow at all.
"Oh, I think everyone knows your name. The whole town's been waiting for you to arrive." Say what, now? Even in small towns, that doesn’t happen. I’m surprised SMeyer didn’t say that the town held a parade in her honor.
"But I think Charlie — I mean my dad — must call me Isabella behind my back” Well, not like you have a right to complain about the behind-the-back-name-calling. Also, did she not clarify during her first roll that she prefers ‘Bella’?
“I looked up to see him smiling a crooked smile so beautiful that I could only stare at him like an idiot.” *sigh* So completely based on his wonderful personality!
"Do you mind if I look?" he asked as I began to remove the slide. His hand caught mine, to stop me, as he asked” I see that as being kind of sexist on his part. He’s assuming that she has no idea what she’s looking at- if he thought she was right, he’d just ask if he could look too, not grab at her.
“His fingers were ice-cold, like he'd been holding them in a snowdrift before class” He’s a corpse. He should be room temperature.
“glanced at it cursorily” That last word… couldn’t she have found a better one? Why not say ‘briefly’?
“I would have written it while he looked, but his clear, elegant script intimidated me. I didn't want to spoil the page with my clumsy scrawl.” Early establishment- EDWARD IS BETTER THAN ME!!!
Also, this scene where they finish labeling slides really fast does not show that Bella is good in school or smart. She’s already studied this material. So has Edward. It shows that they don’t have lousy memories, but it doesn’t show that they’re smart.
“a strange ocher, darker than butterscotch, but with the same golden tone.” Those are all different colors. Pick one.
“Or maybe Forks was making me crazy in the literal sense of the word” What have you had to complain about? Everyone in school adores you!
“Mr. Banner looked at me now; his expression was skeptical.” Because girls aren’t good at science. According to SMeyer, this guy wants to jump Bella too.
"Well," he said after a moment, "I guess it's good you two are lab partners." Don’t most teachers like pairing up a weaker student with a stronger one, so they can both learn something?
“"Why did you come here, then?"
No one had asked me that — not straight out like he did, demanding.” Establishing dominance early in the relationship.
"And you don't like him," Edward surmised, his tone still kind.
"And your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him." He said it as an assumption again, not a question.” Edward likes telling, not talking. It’s clear he’s being thrown off by getting even a detail wrong.
"You put on a good show," he said slowly. "But I'd be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let anyone see.” Suffering? What does this coddled brat know about suffering?
"I didn't think so," he murmured smugly.” I’m in charge here, after all.
"Am I annoying you?" he asked. He sounded amused.” Yeah, it’s funny to make all kinds of assumptions about a girl you’ve never spoken to and annoy her.
“But my thoughts were unmanageable.” What?
“Mike skipped quickly to my side and picked up my books for me. I imagined him with a wagging tail.” How dare he be nice? He’s not GORGEOUS!
“stung by his assumption.” So, it’s okay for Edward to think that you can’t do the work, but not for Mike?
“I stared straight ahead as I passed the Volvo, but from a peripheral peek, I would swear I saw him laughing.” Watching you nearly kill other students with your clumsiness is funny!

In chapter 2, Edward and Bella have one conversation. I'm keeping a tally.

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Re: Twilight?

Postby markstonia » Tue Jan 27, 2009 2:00 pm UTC

Why are you having a go at Bella, Bella is a charcter in a book she can't hear you, you idiot. Have a go at Stephanie Meyer the author who is a real person.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Izawwlgood » Tue Jan 27, 2009 2:24 pm UTC

I for one find kendo's reviews hilarious. Keep at 'em.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Alder » Tue Jan 27, 2009 2:24 pm UTC

Kendo_Bunny wrote:Chapter 2: Much longer because the chapter was stupidly long.

Thank you for part two! :D
A couple of my favourites:

“glanced at it cursorily” It's very clumsy use of the word. "gave it a cursory glance" would make more sense.

"a peripheral peek" A what? Is that even English? I sort of get what she was trying to say but...

And the bit about snow...yes, each individual flake looks different - under a microscope...!!
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Re: Twilight?

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Jan 27, 2009 2:48 pm UTC

markstonia wrote:Why are you having a go at Bella, Bella is a charcter in a book she can't hear you, you idiot. Have a go at Stephanie Meyer the author who is a real person.
Knock it off with the personal insults. You have done nothing in this thread but be abusive towards others. Stop it.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Trumpkin » Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:36 pm UTC

Mike sounds like a bit of a suck-up. Still, anything beats Cullen by the sounds of things.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby natraj » Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:41 pm UTC

Oh, man, Kendo. This is great. I don't have the patience to outline things example by example like this, but you are really covering a whole lot of what I hated about this book.

(Also the typos were ridiculous. And that italicized get happens a whole lot throughout the books. There was something else that was continually italicized, too, that I don't remember but always got confused about.)
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Kendo_Bunny » Tue Jan 27, 2009 6:29 pm UTC

I'm realizing that if Bella were written the same way by a different author, she'd be fascinating. Still hateful, but fascinating. Here we have a girl who is deathly afraid of change- so afraid that she'd rather be completely miserable all the time than have one thing different. She is unwilling to make an effort, because that would involve change. She also has a martyr complex, making her revel in her misery and keeping her from facing the truth about herself.

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Re: Twilight?

Postby Trumpkin » Tue Jan 27, 2009 6:33 pm UTC

I wonder if Meyer has the same personality as Bella.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Chai Kovsky » Tue Jan 27, 2009 6:46 pm UTC

natraj wrote:(Also the typos were ridiculous. And that italicized get happens a whole lot throughout the books. There was something else that was continually italicized, too, that I don't remember but always got confused about.)
I read this book on a pdf file from eSnips or ScribD or something so as not to put any money in SMeyer's pocket (I would have used the library, but there was a 3 week waiting period for each book). I thought the italicized "get" was a fuckup in the file and that these typos were a function of someone who transcribed the whole book and messed up occasionally. These are part of the printed book as well?!

Kendo_Bunny wrote:I'm realizing that if Bella were written the same way by a different author, she'd be fascinating. Still hateful, but fascinating. Here we have a girl who is deathly afraid of change- so afraid that she'd rather be completely miserable all the time than have one thing different. She is unwilling to make an effort, because that would involve change. She also has a martyr complex, making her revel in her misery and keeping her from facing the truth about herself.
I completely agree. This could actually have been a very interesting premise if dealt with by somebody more mature than I was when I wrote an LotR fanfic at 13. A more self-aware story would have been a fascinating read. Then again, I say the same of the latter Star Wars movies.

Trumpkin wrote:I wonder if Meyer has the same personality as Bella.
I'm not sure if she would be quite as snobby about either appearances or intelligence; that seems an artifact of Bella being, even in the early stages, slightly Mary Sue (the Mary Suification doesn't become blatant until later in the book and goes into overdrive in the fourth book). Because she's slightly better-than-life in those respects, she looks down on people who aren't quite of her "status." Now that I think of it, she succumbs totally to the idea that appearance (and to a very small degree, academic achievement) dictate a social hierarchy she must follow. She disrespects Mike et al because they are less attractive than she, but when she happens upon people more attractive, she submits to them utterly with her "I am not woooooorthy" attitude. It's possible SMeyer shares these traits, but they're surely not this overt.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby mewshi » Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:33 pm UTC

Kalin wrote:Twilight broke my heart. Originally, I was pretty much the only person in the school who read for fun. I was thrilled when I saw other people reading, and I said, "Hey, if you guys like books, you should definitely read Ender's Game/1984/Catch-22/etc." But no. They're not interested in reading. They're interested in swooning over Edward Cullen.

So I read the books. All of them.
I'm 13, male, and I hated them. The plot of Twilight was on par with Super Mario game plots.


Super Mario has a plot? o.o

Wow.

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Re: Twilight?

Postby Trumpkin » Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:48 pm UTC

It's way better then Twilight. Does Cullen dispatch his enemies by jumping on their heads? I think not.
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Kalin » Wed Jan 28, 2009 4:59 am UTC

mewshi wrote:
Kalin wrote:Twilight broke my heart. Originally, I was pretty much the only person in the school who read for fun. I was thrilled when I saw other people reading, and I said, "Hey, if you guys like books, you should definitely read Ender's Game/1984/Catch-22/etc." But no. They're not interested in reading. They're interested in swooning over Edward Cullen.

So I read the books. All of them.
I'm 13, male, and I hated them. The plot of Twilight was on par with Super Mario game plots.


Super Mario has a plot? o.o

Wow.


Sure.
1. Mario loves Princess.
2. Princess gets in a pickle. (In Twilight, this happens after 200 pages of filler.)
3. Mario saves Princess.

My point is that the plot in Twilight is so bare and shallow, it's almost nonexistent.

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Re: Twilight?

Postby Alder » Wed Jan 28, 2009 12:02 pm UTC

Chai Kovsky wrote:I read this book on a pdf file from eSnips or ScribD or something so as not to put any money in SMeyer's pocket (I would have used the library, but there was a 3 week waiting period for each book).

Chai, you are my heroine of the week. I am not worthy...

I've been wanting to read it, but really, really didn't want to buy it new, and folk don't seem to be throwing it out yet. :D
Just found it on eSnips. (Squeeee! It's Youtube with words!!!) Thankyouthankyouthankyou...
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Kendo_Bunny » Wed Jan 28, 2009 12:19 pm UTC

I'm reading it online (which is how I get direct quotes), but a friend who owns the books confirmed that get is usually italicized for no apparent reason.

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Re: Twilight?

Postby Alder » Wed Jan 28, 2009 12:58 pm UTC

I'm part way through chapter one right now, and I've had to open a Word file to complain in, just to protect my own sanity. I can't believe how badly written it is. It's...appalling.

And yet - somewhere - I suspect there's a decent story trying to get out. I have an urge to rewrite it just for my own satisfaction, tiny little things could make it so much better. And Bella could be almost likeable, and fallible.

Two things in particular so far - the bathroom bit that KendoBunny mentioned in her first review. Why not just say that she wasn't used to sharing a bathroom, and the thought of sharing it with a guy was embarassing. Instead of all that "I went to the communal bathroom to clean up" as if she was in jail?!!

And when the curly-haired girl - who sits next to her in two classes, and walks her to lunch, but she doesn't know her name :roll: - is talking to her about the school and the teachers: "I couldn’t remember her name, so I smiled and nodded as she prattled about teachers and classes. I didn’t try to keep up" followed by "I forgot all their names as soon as she spoke them" when she introduces her friends to Bella. She didn't even try to keep up? With this girl who's trying to be helpful and friendly to a stranger? What a whiny brat! Why not something about how it was all too much information, and she couldn't keep up - which would make her an overwhelmed nice person, instead of.....Bella.
Plasma Man wrote:I might have to get rid of some of my breadbins.

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Re: Twilight?

Postby Kendo_Bunny » Wed Jan 28, 2009 6:28 pm UTC

My theory is Bella is deathly afraid of change, but she also has a monstrous martyr complex. Her fear of change is why she wants to glue herself as an unchanging corpse to another unchanging corpse for eternity. SMeyer is obsessed with youth and immortality because she's afraid of aging and death. So is Bella. Bella is afraid to try new things and she's afraid to try to improve her life in any way. However, because of her martyr complex, her fear of difference can just be used to fuel the misery that she craves. She's the most maligned creature on the planet because she refuses to make an effort. If she did make an effort, then she couldn't wallow in self-pity, and she would have to face the possibility of change in herself.

I've come to the conclusion that the only thing she loves more than Edward's beauty is that he is completely static. He's incapable of changing anything, hence why he would choose to go to high school for a century, rather than learning on his own. Hence why he never changed his speech patterns, even with a century to do so (although his speech isn't terribly old-fashioned, Bella just says it is).

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Alder
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Alder » Wed Jan 28, 2009 10:06 pm UTC

Gah. I've been ill today, so pretty much read Twilight till it was done. My brain is turned to mush.
Plasma Man wrote:I might have to get rid of some of my breadbins.

Kulantan wrote:I feel a great disturbance in the Fora, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and then kinda trailed off to a grumble.

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Re: Twilight?

Postby teamcorndog » Thu Jan 29, 2009 1:11 am UTC

Thank you KendoBunny and everyone else; I feel like this is a Twilight support group. I tried to read the first book after all the hype got to be too much to ignore, and I found it so disappointing. I barely read half of it before mentally puking. Yet I keep finding people who looooove the whole series. It gives me a lonely feeling :( But now I have this thread to turn to to make me feel better. Yay!

Also, tangent, I swear I read a book with a similar plot (hot new girl in town meets vampire in high school, semi-creepy hijinks ensue) when I was younger, but I can't remember the name of it. I think I'll try a Google search for it...but the interwebs are pretty clogged with Twilight guck so I'm not expecting success. It just drives me crazy because IIRC that book was much more interesting and well-written, but seemed to be marketed as a trashy vampire romance novel for teens and got no attention from anyone.

EDIT: I found it! The series is called "The Vampire Diaries". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Vampire_Diaries I really think SMeyer got ninja'd by this.

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Chai Kovsky
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Chai Kovsky » Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:18 am UTC

What are the publication dates on that book? Some of her stuff seems so derivative that it seems less "ninja'd" than "plagiarized."
Spoiler:
kellsbells wrote:¡This Chai is burning me!
Chai Kovsky wrote:I can kill you with my brain.

That is all.
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Delayra wrote:Yet another brilliant idea from Chai!

I <3 Pirate.Bondage!

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Re: Twilight?

Postby Kag » Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:48 am UTC

1991 for the first one.
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Chai Kovsky
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Chai Kovsky » Thu Jan 29, 2009 6:06 am UTC

O_O

Yeah, she jacked it.
Spoiler:
kellsbells wrote:¡This Chai is burning me!
Chai Kovsky wrote:I can kill you with my brain.

That is all.
superglucose wrote:In other words: LISTEN TO CHAI.
Delayra wrote:Yet another brilliant idea from Chai!

I <3 Pirate.Bondage!

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Trumpkin
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Re: Twilight?

Postby Trumpkin » Thu Jan 29, 2009 10:51 pm UTC

That's what SHE said.
Washington: You have to be the most immature soldiers I've ever met.
Grif: Your face is immature.
Washington: Shut up!


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