Web Novels: Oktober and Pandora Tainted

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Vak Beacon
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Web Novels: Oktober and Pandora Tainted

Postby Vak Beacon » Sat Oct 24, 2009 6:59 pm UTC

Hello dear forum that I never post on! How are you? So, basically, I've got a little project I've been working on for the past few months I'd like to pimp to you guys. See, I'm a writer, and as fun as writing is, I've reached basically the peak of what I can achieve on my own. Recently, I've become acutely aware of my need for an audience to harshly criticize and rip apart my writing. I guess I'll stop beating around the bush here and just give the link, here you go.

I'm painfully aware of how taboo it is to 'advertise' sites, especially your own site, on other websites, so forgive me if this type of thing is not allowed, though I honestly am trying to start a valid conversation here. Let me just give you a primer on VAKinc. It's kind of a conglomerate of my various literary endeavors, currently, only two novels are included, though I imagine that list will expand as time goes on. Pandora Tainted is a conventional novel, which I am releasing slowly, chapter by chapter. Oktober, on the other hand, is a new approach I'm taking to writing. It's a web novel, updated weekly, and as such it's told in a very unconventional format. Each chapter is told four times, once from each character's perspective. Sounds straightforward, except that there are a few, significant discrepancies in their stories. This was the concept I based the novel on, and I've basically taken that and run with it, turning it into an American road novel with a loose grounding in reality.

Alright, I'm done shamelessly prostituting my work. Thoughts, comments?

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Kewangji
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Re: Web Novels: Oktober and Pandora Tainted

Postby Kewangji » Mon Oct 26, 2009 7:25 pm UTC

Why .pdf-files? Made me go "ah don't wanna bother" because I don't like reading .pdf-files. But maybe that's just me.
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Vak Beacon
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Re: Web Novels: Oktober and Pandora Tainted

Postby Vak Beacon » Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:10 pm UTC

Kewangji wrote:Why .pdf-files? Made me go "ah don't wanna bother" because I don't like reading .pdf-files. But maybe that's just me.


Only Pandora Tainted is in PDF format. Oktober is displayed plainly on the website. The reason I provided .pdfs is because they can be transferred on to various devices, including Kindles, making it easier for people to read it on the road, should they choose to.

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Kewangji
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Re: Web Novels: Oktober and Pandora Tainted

Postby Kewangji » Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:27 pm UTC

Ah okay. I've read the first chapter of all four participants, and I quite like it. Will definitely continue reading.
Things you can improve:
Jones doesn't seem British, he spells colour without the u, and to me he seems to be writing like an American would. Could be just me. Sometimes (I only noticed it in Preface and Nick's chapter) you miss colouring a k. I assume the typos were at least semi-intentional.
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mypsychoticself
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Re: Web Novels: Oktober and Pandora Tainted

Postby mypsychoticself » Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:08 am UTC

Have you been to the "your art..." section of the boards? You may get more feedback there.
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jakkle
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Re: Web Novels: Oktober and Pandora Tainted

Postby jakkle » Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:14 pm UTC

yes, your jones character does not seem particularly english - 'busted' rather than 'broken' is massively american, as is the way you wrote the date. someone who had not been in the US for very long would still write it the english way, surely? i.e. dd/mm/yy. also possibly 'bill' instead of 'check', 'aeroplane' not 'airplane'. other than that, it seemed pretty good, sort of house of leaves-ish.
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