Cooking disasters

Apparently, people like to eat.

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AngrySquirrel
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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby AngrySquirrel » Tue Aug 18, 2015 9:20 am UTC

So lactose-free kesam is really disguisting and kind of has the consistency of sandy rubbery hairy slightly old yoghurt.
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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby PAstrychef » Fri Aug 28, 2015 12:16 am UTC

Sometimes meringue just goes bad. Trying to make some Italian meringue at work, the whites have a nice solid foam-add the hot syrup and it's all over-foamy liquid with no structure. I suspect that someone use my pastry brush for something greasy and it contaminated my syrup when I cleaned the sides of the pot. It took three tries to get enough for my cupcakes.
Then my ganache got left on a burner by mistake and sorched. Eight pounds of ganache, in the trash. And I got damn near nothing done for tomorrow.
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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby Moo » Fri Aug 28, 2015 8:45 am UTC

that almost makes me want to cry
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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby mia johnson » Fri Nov 06, 2015 6:12 am UTC

Hi,
I don't think anything has to be wrong for someone to think that donuts and liquor might be a good idea.

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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby CelticNot » Wed May 25, 2016 5:08 pm UTC

Arise! ARIIISE!

This past weekend I tried making Cantonese-style beef brisket stew. Really great recipe.

The problem is that this particular stew was designed to be very low-liquid... and I live at 2200 feet, which is shorthand for never trust the recipe, a fact I always forget. The liquid ended up burning off, and thanks to the sugar content, half of the radish and beef caramelized to the non-stick wok, then turned to charcoal.

What I managed to salvage was surprisingly tender and tasty, but damn am I mad at myself.

Relatedly, does anyone know a good resource for recipe conversions when cooking at a high altitude?
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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby freezeblade » Wed May 25, 2016 6:31 pm UTC

https://www.exploratorium.edu/cooking/i ... -3-03.html

I noted this when I visited a friend who lived above 3000 feet. I'm a sea-level-liver myself, and I find the whole thing frustrating, although It'd be fun to try out yeasted breads, I could get some great oven spring at lower pressures.
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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby poxic » Wed Dec 20, 2017 12:45 am UTC

So apparently gingerbread flavour "Cake in a Mug" mixes are not designed to be baked in hockey-puck-sized foil pans in a toaster oven at 350F for nine minutes.

I added an extra tablespoon of water because the batter wasn't getting thoroughly dampened, but that was also probably not how it was designed. Top burnt, middle raw, bottom and edges delicious with some rum-n-butter icing.

I have a Christmas Spice cake left to try. I may knock it down to mini cupcake sizes and lower the temp to 300. Because actually putting the batter in a mug and then in the microwave, like the box says, is too hard or something.

I am way too stubborn when cooking sometimes. (The smoke alarm occasionally agrees.)
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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby AngrySquirrel » Wed Dec 20, 2017 8:17 am UTC

Tried to make vegan and gluten free cupcakes (people have allergies yo). It did not turn out well. I don't know what happened but they tasted like soap? Very accepting of vegan sweet pastry recipes that does not end up like soap.
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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby Quercus » Wed Dec 20, 2017 8:24 am UTC

AngrySquirrel wrote:Tried to make vegan and gluten free cupcakes (people have allergies yo). It did not turn out well. I don't know what happened but they tasted like soap? Very accepting of vegan sweet pastry recipes that does not end up like soap.

I've not tried the cupcake version but this recipe is very similar to an amazing vegan + gluten free chocolate cake that my partner makes. It's got some slightly obscure ingredients in, but worth it IMO.

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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby AngrySquirrel » Wed Dec 20, 2017 8:30 am UTC

Quercus wrote:
AngrySquirrel wrote:Tried to make vegan and gluten free cupcakes (people have allergies yo). It did not turn out well. I don't know what happened but they tasted like soap? Very accepting of vegan sweet pastry recipes that does not end up like soap.

I've not tried the cupcake version but this recipe is very similar to an amazing vegan + gluten free chocolate cake that my partner makes. It's got some slightly obscure ingredients in, but worth it IMO.

Those obscure ingredients are so expensive tho. :/
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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby Quercus » Wed Dec 20, 2017 6:03 pm UTC

AngrySquirrel wrote:Those obscure ingredients are so expensive tho. :/


Yeah, tell me about it! It's a pretty general problem in vegan and/or gluten free cooking unfortunately (I'm somewhat less dairy-free than I want to be right now, purely for financial reasons).

If it helps, soya milk will work instead of almond, you can probably forget the oat flour and just go for all (store-bought) gluten free blend, sugar syrup can sub for the maple syrup (ideally brown sugar), and vegan margarine instead of the vegan butter (or get coconut oil from an Asian or middle-eastern food shop - way cheaper than the stuff from health-food shops). The only expensive ingredients that are absolutely necessary are the ground flaxseed and the gluten free flour blend. Beyond that you can play around with stuff. Of course YMMV with what's available locally - I'm lucky to be in a super multicultural city and most expensive unusual ingredients are actually some other food culture's cheap staple.

Edit: you could probably sub chickpea juice (3 tbsp per egg equivalent) for the flaxseed actually - just the water from a (non-salted) can of chickpeas. Flaxseed is marginally better in sweet baking in my experience, but then I eat the stuff every day anyway for the omega 3 and soluble fibre content so I don't have to factor in the cost of buying a whole bag of it.

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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby PAstrychef » Wed Dec 20, 2017 6:11 pm UTC

Oat flour can be made in a blender from rolled oats. I’ve never tried it with steel cut oats, but it should work.
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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby freezeblade » Wed Dec 20, 2017 6:46 pm UTC

Of note on those "gluten free flour mixes" at the store, most I have seen available are not vegan, containing milk powder (Bob's Red Mill and Cup4Cup, for example, both have it). There is definitely the issue with vegan/gluten free being more expensive.

Butter replacements I've had good luck with using Extra Virgin Coconut oil combined with vegetable shortening in about a 50/50 ratio.

Sugar syrups replacing maple I'd suggest using a 2:1 (sugar:water) ratio by weight, with the sugar component being half brown, half white, and putting a pinch of creme of tarter (or a squeeze of lime) to invert the sugar somewhat during a short (less than 5 mins) simmer. Honey works as well, but is kinda pricey too.
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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby Quercus » Wed Dec 20, 2017 6:57 pm UTC

freezeblade wrote:Of note on those "gluten free flour mixes" at the store, most I have seen available are not vegan, containing milk powder


Ah! Didn't know that - the first and only one I've cooked with (Dove's farm) is vegan, so I just assumed they were all like that

freezeblade wrote:Sugar syrups replacing maple I'd suggest using a 2:1 (sugar:water) ratio by weight, with the sugar component being half brown, half white, and putting a pinch of creme of tarter (or a squeeze of lime) to invert the sugar somewhat during a short (less than 5 mins) simmer.


Oooh, good tips. Thanks! I'll make a note of this.

freezeblade wrote:Honey works as well, but is kinda pricey too.


Also, non-vegan, depending on your particular vegan's view on insects

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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby Ginger » Sat Dec 23, 2017 7:30 am UTC

One time I was making some mozzarella sticks in the oven... and I left the oven on with the spatula still on the hot tray where I placed the mozzarella sticks. So the spatula melted to the tray and we had to get rid of it. Oops! :( And then when one of my brothers made brownies he put in way too much salt and I ate a few bites and then had to secretly give the rest away because it was that bad. Icky.
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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby PAstrychef » Fri Apr 20, 2018 1:25 am UTC

Not quite a disaster, but-
I had a quart of liquid I had braised some lamb in that I was planning to use to cook some more lamb for dinner. So I put it to thaw in the pot for my instant pot, which I filled with hot water. Once the braise had thawed I pulled it out of the pot and poured it into the outer case of the instant pot, through which it promptly poured right onto the counter. I salvaged about a third of the liquid, washed out the pot and set it to dry. Then I made spaghetti carbonara for dinner instead.
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Re: Cooking disasters

Postby Zohar » Fri Apr 20, 2018 2:19 am UTC

Ugh, I hate when I plan to do something and it just doesn't seem to work because of distractions or just random mistakes. I'm sure the carbonara turned out good though.
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