"Ouch" moments in school

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nyeguy
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby nyeguy » Wed Dec 24, 2008 6:13 am UTC

LISStryfe wrote:When I taught, I gave everyone an "Ouch" moment, my first day picking up for a class in April when the teacher fell ill.

Please follow ALL directions!
Ignore all other directions and simply write your name on the provided line.

All you did was create a paradox. It is impossible to follow either the first instruction or the last one, where one must simultaneously do and not do every other instruction in order to settle both statements. That isn't clever, it's impossible.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Why Two Kay » Wed Dec 24, 2008 7:15 am UTC

Generally the first instruction is "Read all instructions before beginning." Which is what almost every standardized test says, yet nobody follows. Thus, those that read all instructions see the true instruction in the last slot and end up doing nothing while the rest of the class follows ridiculous instructions.

It was funnier when they tried it on me in 4th grade.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby LISStryfe » Wed Dec 24, 2008 4:12 pm UTC

nyeguy wrote:
LISStryfe wrote:When I taught, I gave everyone an "Ouch" moment, my first day picking up for a class in April when the teacher fell ill.

Please follow ALL directions!
Ignore all other directions and simply write your name on the provided line.

All you did was create a paradox. It is impossible to follow either the first instruction or the last one, where one must simultaneously do and not do every other instruction in order to settle both statements. That isn't clever, it's impossible.


it's not impossible at all - the last line is "Ignore all other directions" - if someone reads the whole thing first, they know exactly what to do. But a bunch of stressed out 9th graders, I found, did not take the time to do such a thing.

Why Two Kay wrote:Generally the first instruction is "Read all instructions before beginning." Which is what almost every standardized test says, yet nobody follows. Thus, those that read all instructions see the true instruction in the last slot and end up doing nothing while the rest of the class follows ridiculous instructions.

It was funnier when they tried it on me in 4th grade.


Thank you. It wasn't supposed to be a deep lesson, just a little icebreaker, get everyone's pomposity down. It failed, and it did kinda crush the that tiny ember of hope that I'd be an acceptable teacher.

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby nyeguy » Wed Dec 24, 2008 5:58 pm UTC

LISStryfe wrote:it's not impossible at all - the last line is "Ignore all other directions" - if someone reads the whole thing first, they know exactly what to do. But a bunch of stressed out 9th graders, I found, did not take the time to do such a thing.


But this assignment provided no indication to read all of the instructions before. And without prior information, it would not make sense to read every before answering the others because the questions in 99.9% of circumstances have no effect on the other questions. So any logical completion of that assignment would go through every question, reading it carefully, and then come to the end and realize maybe they weren't supposed to do the other questions.

Why Two Kay wrote:Generally the first instruction is "Read all instructions before beginning." Which is what almost every standardized test says, yet nobody follows. Thus, those that read all instructions see the true instruction in the last slot and end up doing nothing while the rest of the class follows ridiculous instructions.

It was funnier when they tried it on me in 4th grade.


Thank you. It wasn't supposed to be a deep lesson, just a little icebreaker, get everyone's pomposity down. It failed, and it did kinda crush the that tiny ember of hope that I'd be an acceptable teacher.[/quote]

Yeah, I didn't know that was the usual wording, that makes much more sense.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby BlackSails » Thu Dec 25, 2008 7:26 am UTC

The thing is, regardless of what instruction 20 says, there is no reason to obey it before instructions 1-19.

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby tricky77puzzle » Thu Dec 25, 2008 8:37 pm UTC

BlackSails wrote:The thing is, regardless of what instruction 20 says, there is no reason to obey it before instructions 1-19.


The point is, that you're supposed to read all of it in order, and if the last instruction says to ignore all the previous instructions, then that's what you do.

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby UnderRock » Fri Dec 26, 2008 4:02 am UTC

Ouch moment: My 3rd calc 1 midterm. I already knew the material, but, since the class is worth 5 credit hours, I made sure to study an extra few hours just to be safe. I understood the problems just fine, but the timing killed me: I understood how to do that related rates problem and that optimization problem, but I can't do it very quickly when I'm asked to write out an explanation for each step that I take. I'm a slow test-taker as it is, but I'm ridiculously slow when it comes to writing. I got a C with the curve (without it, it would be a D).

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby BlackSails » Sat Dec 27, 2008 5:10 pm UTC

tricky77puzzle wrote:
BlackSails wrote:The thing is, regardless of what instruction 20 says, there is no reason to obey it before instructions 1-19.


The point is, that you're supposed to read all of it in order, and if the last instruction says to ignore all the previous instructions, then that's what you do.



No.

The instructions for the test say to read everything. They say nothing about picking and choosing what instructions to do first. You do them in order. Instruction 20 gets done last. It just so happens that instructions 1-19 contradict 20. Even if given a choice between what instruction to do first, you should still do 1-19, because that way you satisfy 95% of the commands, rather than 5%. The test teaches completely ass-backwards lessons to students. The lessons students learn from the tests are:

1) The teacher can always find ways to take points off.
2) When given contradicting sets of directions, follow the one that results in the least work for you
3) Dont do instructions in order
4) School is about figuring out tricks on tests, not about learning things.

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby tricky77puzzle » Sat Dec 27, 2008 6:47 pm UTC

BlackSails wrote:No.

The instructions for the test say to read everything. They say nothing about picking and choosing what instructions to do first. You do them in order.


You don't do them in order, you read them in order. If the last instruction happens to tell you to ignore all previous instructions, or to undo them if they were already done, that pretty much nullifies the argument.

Instruction 20 gets done last. It just so happens that instructions 1-19 contradict 20. Even if given a choice between what instruction to do first, you should still do 1-19, because that way you satisfy 95% of the commands, rather than 5%.


But it just so happens that it's that last 5% that counts.

The test teaches completely ass-backwards lessons to students. The lessons students learn from the tests are:

1) The teacher can always find ways to take points off.
2) When given contradicting sets of directions, follow the one that results in the least work for you
3) Don't do instructions in order
4) School is about figuring out tricks on tests, not about learning things.


1. That's useful if you want to get a good grade. Some teachers are mean like that.
2. Actually, that's useful if you want to keep a level head. C'est la vie!
3. That's not the point of the test. The point was to read the instructions before doing anything. I doubt this was a real test.
4. So you're saying that children will learn a stereotype just by following one example? Sheesh.

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Monika » Sat Dec 27, 2008 7:01 pm UTC

LISStryfe wrote:It wasn't supposed to be a deep lesson, just a little icebreaker, get everyone's pomposity down. It failed, and it did kinda crush the that tiny ember of hope that I'd be an acceptable teacher.

Don't worry about it too much. One of my friends from uni who is a teacher says that's just the way it is, some classes will accept you and others don't, often for stupid reasons like the wrong color of socks. It says nothing about being a bad teacher. Now you know it's not a good ice breaker. Either you don't use it anymore, or you modify it ... maybe make clear that it is just a joke or practice quiz and will not be graded.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby tricky77puzzle » Sat Dec 27, 2008 7:17 pm UTC

Monika wrote:
LISStryfe wrote:It wasn't supposed to be a deep lesson, just a little icebreaker, get everyone's pomposity down. It failed, and it did kinda crush the that tiny ember of hope that I'd be an acceptable teacher.

Don't worry about it too much. One of my friends from uni who is a teacher says that's just the way it is, some classes will accept you and others don't, often for stupid reasons like the wrong color of socks. It says nothing about being a bad teacher. Now you know it's not a good ice breaker. Either you don't use it anymore, or you modify it ... maybe make clear that it is just a joke or practice quiz and will not be graded.

But make it clear afterhand; otherwise the joke is ruined.

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Monika » Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:52 pm UTC

One can still say before that it is a practice test and not being graded.

I have seen a similar test in Germany, beginning with "read all questions", question 1 "write your name", 2-19 or so with various nonsense but very different from the ones given above, and 20 "only do question 1", and a limited time to answer that is not sufficient to really do 2-19. It was never pretended to be an actual test ... worked anyway and was funny.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Zak » Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:57 pm UTC

Or just freak 'em the fuck out and say, "this test will count for 38% of your total grade this year ... Hope you studied over break!"
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby tricky77puzzle » Sun Dec 28, 2008 12:48 am UTC

Z.A.K wrote:Or just freak 'em the fuck out and say, "this test will count for 38% of your total grade this year ... Hope you studied over break!"


No, that's too mean. Just don't tell them anything beforehand; they don't need the extra pressure. (Yes, hypocrisy abounds, but by extra pressure I mean extra extra-pressure. You don't need to lie; only trick them.)

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby DrProfessorPhD » Tue Dec 30, 2008 1:00 am UTC

Just change the instructions to the typical test style "Read all instructions first"
At least then you solve that problem.

As for my own ouch moments, finding out I got a 76 on an midterm test I was sure I got a 90 on. At least it boosted my grade from a 72 to a 74. (I already had a D in that section of my grade, so the C on it boosted it and raised my grade by a bit).
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Neonfire » Wed Dec 31, 2008 2:00 pm UTC

For my first year Maths and Mechanics/Relativity exams all previous papers included all the key formulae for each question, my year was the first which didn't (without warning). my mark average is exactly 60%, enough to scrape a higher second class degree.

I find exams nerve wracking enough without random changes :?

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Ralith » Mon Jan 05, 2009 12:17 am UTC

This is probably a bit more literal than others, but..

Straw bridge contest. Have to hold over 3 kilos to get an A, the highest two groups get a cash prize.
We worked in groups of 3 or four, and held the straws together via paper clip hot-welding, using alcohol burners.
I grouped with a good, fairly intelligent friend of mine, and someone neither of us really knew.
Turns out, he was a pyromaniac. While we worked, he caught straws on fire and wasted our 60 straw supply. Purposely.
One of the straws he lit got a large flame, and he tried to blow it out. The fire did not go out immediately- before it went out, tiny, melted chunks of plastic straw got flung onto my arm. They were on fire. My roar of anger/pain was heard three rooms away, through solid stone walls.
It hurt.
Alot.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Daywraith » Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:02 pm UTC

Dam do I have a lot of these :(

Failed 5th form graphics with 49% (only course I have ever failed)
Worst part was the way they marked the course, the national exam was worth 60% and there was an internal section works 40% marked by the teacher. If your internal mark was more than 25% off your exam they ignored. I guess to avoid overly biased teachers. I had 75% on the internal so they dropped it L.

Honors year mid term thesis report.
I handed in a ten page report. It was marked by two lectures. One gave me 9/10 the other wrote 12 pages of criticism. Actually it was very useful in improving my thesis even if it was rather disheartening.

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby roflcopter » Sat Jan 17, 2009 6:55 am UTC

OH OH OH!!! I have two!!!

First one is a spanish class I was taking but then dropped, I hate spanish and don't get it at all... But I attended the first two classes then turned in the paperwork to drop it. The papers got lost somewhere along the line but I wasn't going to the class because I thought everything was fine. Well when midterm grades came out I had a 78% in that class and it was the second highest grade in the class!! :P All of my friends that were still taking it felt quite dumb.

And after doing that I switched schools two weeks before finals and none of the classes that I was taking were available at the new school so I was in Anatomy & Physiology, PreCalc, Literature, American Govt, and some other easy classes. Well I was only in these classes the week before finals and had to take the finals to get any credits for that semester. In that one week of being in the classes I managed to get no lower than a B on any exam and have one 97%... needless to say the teachers were quite impressed. :twisted:

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby IggyJack » Sun Jan 18, 2009 12:17 am UTC

I got a 5 out of 500 on a project once. I was just like shit, thats not even worth my time. Ha. :lol:
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby blackrose » Sun Jan 18, 2009 6:01 am UTC

In physics last semester, I got a 0/10 on a quiz. Total failure. Same thing happened in Calc 1 once as well.

I made it up by getting the highest in the dept on the next physics quiz, 13/10. Bonus for showing how much energy it would take to stop the Earth's rotation. hehe... In Calc I got perfect scores on most all of my quizzes, so no biggie.

It just goes to show that when I am going to fail at something, I do it spectacularly.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Why Two Kay » Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:06 am UTC

blackrose wrote:In physics last semester, I got a 0/10 on a quiz. Total failure. Same thing happened in Calc 1 once as well.

I made it up by getting the highest in the dept on the next physics quiz, 13/10. Bonus for showing how much energy it would take to stop the Earth's rotation. hehe... In Calc I got perfect scores on most all of my quizzes, so no biggie.

It just goes to show that when I am going to fail at something, I do it spectacularly.


I had to derive the acceleration on an Atwood machine before I knew what one was. I got a 0/5. 10 minutes into the lesson I understood it fully and could do the same for a perfect 5/5 without much effort. Oh well.

Interestingly enough, I missed that question on the practice AP Mechanics test I took.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Snicklefrits » Sun Jan 18, 2009 8:00 am UTC

In my junior year of high school I signed up to take the SAT's and then forgot about it... until the day of the test. Three hours after it started.

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby wst » Sun Jan 18, 2009 9:32 am UTC

I got 199/200 in a spelling test in year four.

The word I got wrong?

I

I spelt it Eye, that's my reasoning.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby TaintedDeity » Sun Jan 18, 2009 12:14 pm UTC

wst wrote:I got 199/200 in a spelling test in year four.

The word I got wrong?

I

I spelt it Eye, that's my reasoning.

I once did that in a spelling test.
I got all of the difficult words right like hypothesis and photosynthesis but the one word I got wrong?
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby tricky77puzzle » Mon Jan 19, 2009 2:00 am UTC

IggyJack wrote:I got a 5 out of 500 on a project once. I was just like shit, thats not even worth my time. Ha. :¡This cheese is burning me!:


How'd you get the 5? If you didn't do it at all, you'd get 0, no?

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Orca » Mon Jan 19, 2009 3:51 am UTC

Ouch moment, right before we were going to do our finals. I mean literally five minutes before the test starts, my mechanics teacher walks in and says "I've decided to make your finals worth 80% of your grade instead of the usual 45%. Have fun." Then left.
Needless to say, it did not help pre-finals anxiety.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby OCEAT » Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:57 pm UTC

Put it this way: the teacher wrote 'Ouchie.' on the first sheet.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby SPsnow02 » Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:52 pm UTC

OCEAT wrote:Put it this way: the teacher wrote 'Ouchie.' on the first sheet.


I ran out of time on a math test a few weeks ago and for the last question I put down some BS hopeing for partial credit and a big "UGHHHHHHHH"

When I got it back He made an arrow to the ugh and wrote "Yup... :( "
Rawr!

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby justrandomwords » Wed Jan 21, 2009 2:49 am UTC

Kilogolf wrote:my grade in AP physics this past semester.
so, after spending most of the semester with a D- (teacher curved it so it is impossible to get an F) I work my butt off and raise my grade 20% to end the semester with a C- in that class.
Good for me, right? nope, you see, my parents had known about my D- for the whole semester. They were still mad seeing my grade, even after I explained that I raised it 20% to get that C-.

And now, we've had about... 2 I think, test in that class, and I already have another D-...
what was I on when I signed up for that class?


Is it AP Physics C - Mechanics? That course literally ruined my entire junior year of high school.... -_-

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Aiko » Sun Feb 01, 2009 3:57 am UTC

Too many of these... *sigh*

My most recent involve a Adv. Pre-Calc H midterm. I'm not a math-y person, really. This class is a bitch. So I go in for extra help with a couple of questions for the teacher.
Me: Hi (insert introductiony stuff here). Can you explain to me the island-to-town problems? I really need help with those.
Her: Oh yes. Yes you do.
I ended up getting a 76 on the midterm. I was happy. My parents were not.

Last year in math I got a 98 on a big project. The 2 points I got off were because my circles (drawn painstakingly with compass and in different colors and everything she wanted) were not. fucking. ROUND. enough.
This isn't fucking art class. Dammmit... that's not such a bad one, but I wanted soso bad to be able to write down a 100% for something in that class.

My World History AP teacher makes a large part of the essays about the number of vocab words you use. I subscribe to the "I can say it like I speak and it will make more sense" school of writing. I got a 6/9 on my change over time in Russia essay, which was a damn good piece of writing. I got an 89% on the midterm (which is beyond belief. Yet my parents are stilll mad. Nevermind the fact that my brother got a 5 on the exam with a C- on the midterm last year, and that I'm the highest in both sections) because I wrote a good organizer (not even part of the rubric for the essay) and used bigful words to try to save my ass from having no idea what I was talking about.
ICCCCCCCCCCK.

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby TobiasBerenson » Sun Feb 01, 2009 5:38 am UTC

My ap english teacher told us to wright a poem, something controversial (Speaking of which, it was induced by Taylor Mali, youtube him) so i did. Something along the lines of irony on human condition, while all the others were something on abortion and racism. I used a few references to Speaker and Children of the mind, and nobody catches it. And this is the class that claims to be sci fi geeks. i get up to read it, and theyre blatant too, not just their, they are are out there and obvious. needless to say i felt bad. that was the whole point.

==================
my computer science teacher is a cool guy, fun and whatnot. to make the point of objects (java. ughh) he used squirrels. "Make a new squirrel, with red hair and two acorns". except he could never say acorn, so he says nuts. I want him to have 3 large beech nuts. *aside*giggle giggle giggle. so hes talking about recursion and he says "now in this method i make a new object, ball, richard (Me) be my new object".

I think he says nude, and begin to take of my jacket.

he loses his shit, and i put my pants back on. lots of fun.

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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Brooklynxman » Sun Feb 01, 2009 6:16 am UTC

I knew someone who got a 600 out of 1600 on the old SAT (minimum is 400, and just c was 800 I believe).

Also my CS class's medium grade on the final was (keep in mind most were taking it as a requirement for another major) was 50.
The lowest was 12.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Monika » Sun Feb 01, 2009 2:14 pm UTC

Brooklynxman wrote:I knew someone who got a 600 out of 1600 on the old SAT (minimum is 400, and just c was 800 I believe).

Also my CS class's medium grade on the final was (keep in mind most were taking it as a requirement for another major) was 50.
The lowest was 12.

In my US high school me and the other students in 12th grade got tested on our reading skills, the kind of test where results are given like "5.7" for 5th grade 7th month. One of my classmates scored P - for preschool / below kindergarten.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Sir_Elderberry » Sun Feb 01, 2009 2:53 pm UTC

Monika wrote:
Brooklynxman wrote:I knew someone who got a 600 out of 1600 on the old SAT (minimum is 400, and just c was 800 I believe).

Also my CS class's medium grade on the final was (keep in mind most were taking it as a requirement for another major) was 50.
The lowest was 12.

In my US high school me and the other students in 12th grade got tested on our reading skills, the kind of test where results are given like "5.7" for 5th grade 7th month. One of my classmates scored P - for preschool / below kindergarten.


Sounds like either testing error or a learning disability.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Monika » Sun Feb 01, 2009 3:12 pm UTC

Sir_Elderberry wrote:Sounds like either testing error or a learning disability.

Sounds like he can't read. What was surprising was that no one had noticed before.
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Sir_Elderberry » Sun Feb 01, 2009 3:38 pm UTC

Monika wrote:
Sir_Elderberry wrote:Sounds like either testing error or a learning disability.

Sounds like he can't read. What was surprising was that no one had noticed before.


Yes, but to me, if you can't read by 12th grade, there's something legitimately wrong there besides just "oh, he never learned to read."
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Dimetrodon
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Dimetrodon » Sun Feb 01, 2009 10:17 pm UTC

My friend knows someone who hacked onto the school grading system and changed his grade to a 40.0.
Yeah.
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Monika
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Monika » Mon Feb 02, 2009 8:45 am UTC

40.0 out of 4.0? ^^
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Maseiken
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Re: "Ouch" moments in school

Postby Maseiken » Mon Feb 02, 2009 1:48 pm UTC

LISStryfe wrote:
nyeguy wrote:
LISStryfe wrote:When I taught, I gave everyone an "Ouch" moment, my first day picking up for a class in April when the teacher fell ill.

Please follow ALL directions!
Ignore all other directions and simply write your name on the provided line.

All you did was create a paradox. It is impossible to follow either the first instruction or the last one, where one must simultaneously do and not do every other instruction in order to settle both statements. That isn't clever, it's impossible.


it's not impossible at all - the last line is "Ignore all other directions" - if someone reads the whole thing first, they know exactly what to do. But a bunch of stressed out 9th graders, I found, did not take the time to do such a thing.

Why Two Kay wrote:Generally the first instruction is "Read all instructions before beginning." Which is what almost every standardized test says, yet nobody follows. Thus, those that read all instructions see the true instruction in the last slot and end up doing nothing while the rest of the class follows ridiculous instructions.

It was funnier when they tried it on me in 4th grade.


Thank you. It wasn't supposed to be a deep lesson, just a little icebreaker, get everyone's pomposity down. It failed, and it did kinda crush the that tiny ember of hope that I'd be an acceptable teacher.

Pretty sure xkcd itself said it best.

"Communicating badly and then acting smug when you're misunderstood is not cleverness."
I'm all for pedantry in language, but not for the purposes of one-upping.
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