Awesome Teacher Quotes

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby raspberryicicle » Thu Feb 25, 2010 10:46 am UTC

Monika wrote:Who or what is marathea?


It's with a 'g', making it Magrathea.

It's from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, a planet where the inhabitants designed and built planets (including Earth, and Earth mark II).

Very good book, I recommend reading it :) (Well. It's a radio play, tv show and movie too.)

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Thu Feb 25, 2010 12:09 pm UTC

I have listened to it as an audio book. Forgot the wor(l)d Magrathea, though. But I remember the fjords are particularly difficult and artistic :) .
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby feedme » Thu Feb 25, 2010 4:15 pm UTC

Monika wrote:IBut I remember the fjords are particularly difficult and artistic :) .


Haha, for some reason that was always my favorite part of that book. A little tiny note about how creative it was and how he won an award for them. Brilliant.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Chen » Thu Feb 25, 2010 6:26 pm UTC

Our easter European differential equations teacher was talking about how you didn't need to always use complex methods of solution for some types of equations:

Teacher: Its like situation back home. You don't use cannon to kill sparrow, you use shotgun...no wait, slingshot is better. Yes slingshot used to kill sparrow. So yes, solve equations that way not other way.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Thu Feb 25, 2010 6:43 pm UTC

There is a German proverb about shooting sparrows with canons.


On an unrelated note, some people tried to shoot Captain Jack Sparrow with canons 8) .
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby H2SO4 » Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:16 am UTC

There is a German proverb about shooting sparrows with canons.

You mean about how AWESOME it is?
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Fri Feb 26, 2010 9:50 am UTC

Hm, no, not exactly :lol:
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Grop » Fri Feb 26, 2010 10:06 am UTC

A quick search for the English equivalent about nuts and hammers made me find an other funny one:

Sparare ad una mosca con un cannone

Apparently in Italian they shoot flies with canons.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Secateurs » Fri Feb 26, 2010 2:16 pm UTC

Occasionally they also use bazookas instead of cannons.

This is more groan-inducing than anything else. My chem teacher gave us a revision booklet last lesson on macroscopic properties of matter. The title on the front: 'What's the Matter?'

Oh, and in physics: "What's the force that gets you out of bed in the morning? Your mother. Yes, that's right, your mother is a force... of nature."
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Fri Feb 26, 2010 3:19 pm UTC

Secateurs wrote:The title on the front: 'What's the Matter?'

Ah, the pain, the pain! :lol:

And he's right on mothers, too 8)
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Erggh » Sat Feb 27, 2010 8:24 pm UTC

Calculus teacher, the day before a somewhat hard test: "Calculus is not worth suicide. Most of the time."

Anatomy teacher, while learning the components of blood and how to scrub it out of clothes for some reason: "Now, in the event of the zombie apocalypse, you will be prepared to clean the blood out of your clothes successfully. That is, if you actually survive."

Also, my Pre-Cal teacher would insist on putting (CAT) into equations instead of x, so it would always be "the sin(CAT) or the cos(DOG)." He also told us that he used to chase the cats around his house and shoot them for fun, because they annoyed him. And this was the teacher who would, if someone fell asleep, shake them out of their desk onto the floor.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby hawkmp4 » Wed Mar 03, 2010 4:18 am UTC

Grop wrote:A quick search for the English equivalent about nuts and hammers made me find an other funny one:

Sparare ad una mosca con un cannone

Apparently in Italian they shoot flies with canons.

That is, indeed, an odd phrase ;)
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Secateurs » Wed Mar 03, 2010 12:54 pm UTC

We have double periods of maths every so often. On these days, usually two people organise a cake to be eaten halfway through. Today, when we were eating, our teacher says "You know what we should call these double periods, right?"
Class: "No, what?"
Teacher: "Cake-ulus!"
I think he and my chem teacher have been talking.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Wed Mar 03, 2010 2:11 pm UTC

Secateurs wrote:We have double periods of maths every so often. On these days, usually two people organise a cake to be eaten halfway through. Today, when we were eating, our teacher says "You know what we should call these double periods, right?"
Class: "No, what?"
Teacher: "Cake-ulus!"

When he's right, he's right :lol:

I can't even get myself to groan at this terrible pun :wink:
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby pseudoidiot » Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:10 pm UTC

Monika wrote:
Secateurs wrote:We have double periods of maths every so often. On these days, usually two people organise a cake to be eaten halfway through. Today, when we were eating, our teacher says "You know what we should call these double periods, right?"
Class: "No, what?"
Teacher: "Cake-ulus!"

When he's right, he's right :lol:

I can't even get myself to groan at this terrible delicious pun :wink:
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Vieto » Wed Mar 03, 2010 11:31 pm UTC

pseudoidiot wrote:
Monika wrote:
Secateurs wrote:We have double periods of maths every so often. On these days, usually two people organise a cake to be eaten halfway through. Today, when we were eating, our teacher says "You know what we should call these double periods, right?"
Class: "No, what?"
Teacher: "Cake-ulus!"

When he's right, he's right :lol:

I can't even get myself to groan at this terrible delicious pun :wink:
fix'd


I'll take... that radian!

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby KFRelic » Thu Mar 04, 2010 12:21 am UTC

For some reason, we were talking about basket ball in my 7th grade math class.
Math Teacher: I think they shoot the same way in all countries
Some Kid: What about Afghanistan?
Math Teacher: In Afghanistan, I think they shoot like this. (Shapes his arms as if holding a rifle)

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby kernelpanic » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:03 am UTC

KFRelic wrote:For some reason, we were talking about basket ball in my 7th grade math class.
Math Teacher: I think they shoot the same way in all countries
Some Kid: What about Afghanistan?
Math Teacher: In Afghanistan, I think they shoot like this. (Shapes his arms as if holding a rifle)

Not funny, just ignorant and xenophobic.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby H2SO4 » Thu Mar 04, 2010 11:47 am UTC

I'd say funny in a shocking sort of way. Like, "I didn't expect that to come from a teacher's mouth!" kinda funny.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Chen » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:59 pm UTC

kernelpanic wrote:
KFRelic wrote:For some reason, we were talking about basket ball in my 7th grade math class.
Math Teacher: I think they shoot the same way in all countries
Some Kid: What about Afghanistan?
Math Teacher: In Afghanistan, I think they shoot like this. (Shapes his arms as if holding a rifle)

Not funny, just ignorant and xenophobic.


Seems pretty funny to me. The standard of using one word's meaning in another, more shocking, context for humor's sake. I mean there is a war going on in Afghanistan, so I expect there is a reasonable amount of shooting (of guns) that goes on.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Thu Mar 04, 2010 5:04 pm UTC

Vieto wrote:
pseudoidiot wrote:
Monika wrote:
Secateurs wrote:We have double periods of maths every so often. On these days, usually two people organise a cake to be eaten halfway through. Today, when we were eating, our teacher says "You know what we should call these double periods, right?"
Class: "No, what?"
Teacher: "Cake-ulus!"

When he's right, he's right :lol:

I can't even get myself to groan at this terrible delicious pun :wink:
fix'd


I'll take... that radian!

Uh, what?

Is that a pun, too? :? :?:



kernelpanic wrote:
KFRelic wrote:For some reason, we were talking about basket ball in my 7th grade math class.
Math Teacher: I think they shoot the same way in all countries
Some Kid: What about Afghanistan?
Math Teacher: In Afghanistan, I think they shoot like this. (Shapes his arms as if holding a rifle)

Not funny, just ignorant and xenophobic.

Totally funny and neither ignorant nor xenophobic.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby feedme » Thu Mar 04, 2010 5:07 pm UTC

Monika wrote:
Spoiler:
kernelpanic wrote:
KFRelic wrote:For some reason, we were talking about basket ball in my 7th grade math class.
Math Teacher: I think they shoot the same way in all countries
Some Kid: What about Afghanistan?
Math Teacher: In Afghanistan, I think they shoot like this. (Shapes his arms as if holding a rifle)

Not funny, just ignorant and xenophobic.

Totally funny and neither ignorant nor xenophobic.



I guess it could be considered ignorant/xenophobic, but if your teacher was comfortable/cool enough to do that during class, it's just funny.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby kernelpanic » Fri Mar 05, 2010 12:58 am UTC

feedme wrote:
Monika wrote:
Spoiler:
kernelpanic wrote:
KFRelic wrote:For some reason, we were talking about basket ball in my 7th grade math class.
Math Teacher: I think they shoot the same way in all countries
Some Kid: What about Afghanistan?
Math Teacher: In Afghanistan, I think they shoot like this. (Shapes his arms as if holding a rifle)

Not funny, just ignorant and xenophobic.

Totally funny and neither ignorant nor xenophobic.



I guess it could be considered ignorant/xenophobic, but if your teacher was comfortable/cool enough to do that during class, it's just funny.

You're right, I guess it depends on the teacher, but most teachers couldn't pull that off.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby hintss » Fri Mar 05, 2010 5:10 am UTC

SS teacher spent 10 minutes comparing native americans to Navi :-)

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby squareroot » Fri Mar 05, 2010 6:01 am UTC

My science teacher was on a rant (required by the school system) about why you should always use the metric system; why it's so relevant to life; why it's so "pure"; how it uses only a few base units, unlike the imperial system. I asked why we didn't just use the Planck length, and units derived from that. He asked me, with an expression like someone explaining addition to a three year old, "But how would we decide how long the plank would be, hmm?" And he actually meant it. X-(
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby boring bore » Fri Mar 05, 2010 6:35 am UTC

hintss wrote:SS teacher spent 10 minutes comparing native americans to Nazis :-)

How I almost read that. Good thing I didn't, because even though the "SS" would have worked out interestingly, it wouldn't make much sense to put Native Americans in there...

squareroot wrote:My science teacher was on a rant (required by the school system) about why you should always use the metric system; why it's so relevant to life; why it's so "pure"; how it uses only a few base units, unlike the imperial system. I asked why we didn't just use the Planck length, and units derived from that. He asked me, with an expression like someone explaining addition to a three year old, "But how would we decide how long the plank would be, hmm?" And he actually meant it. X-(

Why would you want to use Planck units when your teacher was talking about systems that were "relevant to life"? Planck units are way too extreme.

But yeah, I don't know why your science teacher would be that way...what grade are you in?
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby hintss » Fri Mar 05, 2010 8:09 am UTC

SS = social studies

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby boring bore » Fri Mar 05, 2010 8:12 am UTC

Well, of course I know that. I'm just saying that the way it was written left it open to different interpretations.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Secateurs » Fri Mar 05, 2010 9:39 am UTC

Hilarity in physics today (not a quote, more of a story)

Teacher tries erasing something on the board. Marker is left on the board.
"Hold on, I'll just get my trusty whiteboard cleaner..."
He attempts to spray it. It doesn't spray. He ends up pouring some onto a cloth and wiping the board with the cloth. He then continues to write on it.
A few minutes later, he needs to erase something again. He uses the whiteboard eraser, and ends up smudging the ink over the board.
"Well, this works better anyway." He gets the cloth soaked in whiteboard cleaner, and cleans it off. "Oh, look, I even have a holder for it," he says, and places the cloth on his head. He attempts to write on the board, but the marker doesn't work.
"Let's move over to the other board." It doesn't work on this one either. He proceeds to make that annoying squeaky sound when you write with a marker on a whiteboard while saying "Warning! Warning!"

Finally, he gives up and walks out of the room. "I'm just going to look for my dignity now."
(About ten minutes later, he mentioned that the stuff on the cloth was making his head itchy.)
Monika wrote:
Vieto wrote:
Secateurs wrote:We have double periods of maths every so often. On these days, usually two people organise a cake to be eaten halfway through. Today, when we were eating, our teacher says "You know what we should call these double periods, right?"
Class: "No, what?"
Teacher: "Cake-ulus!"
I'll take... that radian!
Uh, what? Is that a pun, too?
I'd say yes, as in taking a circular sector (slice) of the cake.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Fri Mar 05, 2010 2:47 pm UTC

hintss wrote:SS teacher spent 10 minutes comparing native americans to Navi :-)

I read this as "Social Studies teacher spent 10 minutes comparing native Americans to the Navy." and kept scratching my head.

Needed a while to remember that apparently there are blue beings in Avatar that are called Navi.

Secateurs wrote:
Monika wrote:
Vieto wrote:
Secateurs wrote:We have double periods of maths every so often. On these days, usually two people organise a cake to be eaten halfway through. Today, when we were eating, our teacher says "You know what we should call these double periods, right?"
Class: "No, what?"
Teacher: "Cake-ulus!"
I'll take... that radian!
Uh, what? Is that a pun, too?
I'd say yes, as in taking a circular sector (slice) of the cake.

Oh, thanks :) .

And your physics teacher is crazy.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Secateurs » Sat Mar 06, 2010 1:17 am UTC

He really is. Every year I manage to get one teacher who manages to totally embarrass themselves in front of our class at least twice a week. It keeps the class interesting, though.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby squareroot » Sat Mar 06, 2010 6:18 am UTC

boring bore wrote:
squareroot wrote:My science teacher was on a rant (required by the school system) about why you should always use the metric system; why it's so relevant to life; why it's so "pure"; how it uses only a few base units, unlike the imperial system. I asked why we didn't just use the Planck length, and units derived from that. He asked me, with an expression like someone explaining addition to a three year old, "But how would we decide how long the plank would be, hmm?" And he actually meant it. X-(

Why would you want to use Planck units when your teacher was talking about systems that were "relevant to life"? Planck units are way too extreme.

But yeah, I don't know why your science teacher would be that way...what grade are you in?


When I say "relevant", I mean they're based on units that "make sense". Things like 1,000th of the distance from the equator to the north pole, the mass of water at room temperature at sea level, things like that. So it's all based on numbers that are "universal"... at least on earth. That is, as opposed to something like the amount of electricity in an outlet or something. That's why I mentioned Planck units, because they're more universal. This is 8th grade science class, btw.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Sat Mar 06, 2010 9:34 am UTC

sqrt, what's that thing Image in your sig? Is it text, does it say anything?
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby H2SO4 » Sat Mar 06, 2010 1:51 pm UTC

squareroot's sig wrote:Prove the Riemann Hypothesis. Tell me, give me the rewards, and I'll explain how I made this small text. I'm a timeroot. Alex@gmail.com
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Sat Mar 06, 2010 3:41 pm UTC

:shock:
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby squareroot » Sat Mar 06, 2010 3:53 pm UTC

Hey! Don't spoil it!

P.S. - You read it wrong, it says "I'm at timeroot.alex@gmail.com".
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby H2SO4 » Sun Mar 07, 2010 1:14 am UTC

There definitely isn't an "at" in there. It's just "a", though I can see where I got the email wrong.

Quick! Back on topic!

Physics professor:
- "Newton's Third Law is not true. Well, not in sociology. You do an action by accident, and your roommate reacts in a completely non-equal way."
- "If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it reproduces, it's biology. If it's wrong, it's physics."
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Lemminkainen » Sun Mar 07, 2010 1:45 am UTC

One math professor on being asked for some assistance on a homework assignment:

"The homework is there for your exercise, not for mine."

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby kernelpanic » Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:35 am UTC

Lemminkainen wrote:One math professor on being asked for some assistance on a homework assignment:

"The homework is there for your exercise, not for mine."

I had a teacher that would help you on your homework but if he felt he did too much for you he started giving the marks not for you, but for him. He rarely got above 20%, but once he did practically the entire exercise for a guy and said "this is the first time I give myself an A+! Great!".
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Hit3k » Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:49 pm UTC

In an astronomy lecture today our lecturer was showing us an animation involving the sun moving across the sky.
Its not exactly the most riveting of animations. Not exactly up there with Avatar; although the plot might be better.
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