Awesome Teacher Quotes

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby feedme » Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:45 pm UTC

Hit3k wrote:In an astronomy lecture today our lecturer was showing us an animation involving the sun moving across the sky.
Its not exactly the most riveting of animations. Not exactly up there with Avatar; although the plot might be better.


Haha, that's awesome.


In my Dynamics/Kinematics class we were doing some example of a golf club hitting a golf ball and showing how insane the acceleration was (in this example it was something like 4660 g's)...then our prof threw a bit about how if you're like TIger Woods and see your wife coming after you with a golf club, you better run like hell.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby rrwoods » Mon Mar 08, 2010 8:59 pm UTC

sqrt's sig wrote:Image

Neat trick, but the colors are in a different order on my monitor
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby TheChewanater » Mon Mar 08, 2010 9:41 pm UTC

H2SO4 wrote:There definitely isn't an "at" in there. It's just "a", though I can see where I got the email wrong.

Here's what it says for realz:
sig.gif
sig.gif (1.26 KiB) Viewed 6646 times

sig.gif
sig.gif (562 Bytes) Viewed 6646 times
ImageImage
http://internetometer.com/give/4279
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby squareroot » Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:48 am UTC

rrwoods wrote:
sqrt's sig wrote:Image

Neat trick, but the colors are in a different order on my monitor

Wait! Are you saying that's supposed to be white? Because on my screen it's full of different colors... I thought it was just an artifact. HAVE I BEEN SIGNING A LIE?!??! :cry: :cry:
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby lulzfish » Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:25 am UTC

squareroot wrote:
rrwoods wrote:
sqrt's sig wrote:Image

Neat trick, but the colors are in a different order on my monitor

Wait! Are you saying that's supposed to be white? Because on my screen it's full of different colors... I thought it was just an artifact. HAVE I BEEN SIGNING A LIE?!??! :cry: :cry:

It's mostly magenta on mine, with some green.
I'm using a normal RGB vertically striped LCD monitor.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby TheChewanater » Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:41 am UTC

lulzfish wrote:
squareroot wrote:
rrwoods wrote:
sqrt's sig wrote:Image

Neat trick, but the colors are in a different order on my monitor

Wait! Are you saying that's supposed to be white? Because on my screen it's full of different colors... I thought it was just an artifact. HAVE I BEEN SIGNING A LIE?!??! :cry: :cry:

It's mostly magenta on mine, with some green.
I'm using a normal RGB vertically striped LCD monitor.

I already decrypted it, if you want to see it with your own eyes.
ImageImage
http://internetometer.com/give/4279
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby lulzfish » Tue Mar 09, 2010 4:50 am UTC

TheChewanater wrote:
lulzfish wrote:
squareroot wrote:
rrwoods wrote:
sqrt's sig wrote:Image

Neat trick, but the colors are in a different order on my monitor

Wait! Are you saying that's supposed to be white? Because on my screen it's full of different colors... I thought it was just an artifact. HAVE I BEEN SIGNING A LIE?!??! :cry: :cry:

It's mostly magenta on mine, with some green.
I'm using a normal RGB vertically striped LCD monitor.

I already decrypted it, if you want to see it with your own eyes.

Yeah, but he said something about white, since your version is all-white. But the original is magenta because of the red and blue subpixels being used.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby TheChewanater » Tue Mar 09, 2010 5:58 am UTC

It is white because I simply made each pixel three pixels in a row and made their values the RGB values for the pixel. For example, a red pixel because a white pixel and two black pixels, whereas a green one becomes a black one, a white one, and another black one, and a blue pixel becomes two black pixels and a white one.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby lulzfish » Tue Mar 09, 2010 8:11 am UTC

Yeah, so I was reassuring squareroot that his monitor wasn't totally messed up, it was supposed to be magenta.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Hit3k » Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:24 pm UTC

TheChewanater wrote:
H2SO4 wrote:There definitely isn't an "at" in there. It's just "a", though I can see where I got the email wrong.

Here's what it says for realz:
sig.gif

sig.gif

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Secateurs » Wed Mar 10, 2010 9:55 am UTC

No points for guessing which teacher this was. (Physics, see previous posts.) We were discussing geostationary satellites in class.

Teacher: "So you send a satellite up to see what your neighbour's up to, maybe they're acting a little shady. And then you discover that they're making nuclear weapons."
*Small pause for discussion*
Teacher: "Except, oh, it turns out the photos were really low resolution and they were actually making the world's biggest sausage."
Student: "What the hell are you on?!"
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Hit3k » Wed Mar 10, 2010 11:59 am UTC

Secateurs wrote:No points for guessing which teacher this was. (Physics, see previous posts.) We were discussing geostationary satellites in class.

Teacher: "So you send a satellite up to see what your neighbour's up to, maybe they're acting a little shady. And then you discover that they're making nuclear weapons."
*Small pause for discussion*
Teacher: "Except, oh, it turns out the photos were really low resolution and they were actually making the world's biggest sausage."
Student: "What the hell are you on?!"

Australian physics teachers: Making students wtf since 1788.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Ulto » Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:54 am UTC

AP European history teacher

"THE DUTCH ARE AWESOME"

"Did you know that Antonie Philips van Leeuwenhoek was from Zimbabwe?"

" .... and so that's what led to the election of Mussolini in Italy, or as I will further refer to him as, Big Sexy."



Honors Trig teacher this morning

*over loud speaker

Secretary: Mr. K, could you send Scott to the building #3 office?

Mr. K: (into Microphone) No, hes not coming

Secretary: Do I have to inform <Principals name here>?

Mr. K: GO AHEAD! BRING IT ON!

*Speaker turns off

Mr. K: Well, good luck dealing with that one Scott. See you tomorrow.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby VDOgamez » Fri Mar 12, 2010 3:01 pm UTC

Not a teacher, but school staff during class:

PA: "Attention students and faculty: We are having a tornado drill. Please escort your students to a tornado-safe zone, and assume the position! Wait..." *Speaker bursts into hysterical laughter* *Most of the school starts laughing, too* *I snap my lab gloves back*

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Fri Mar 12, 2010 9:00 pm UTC

Was this not in a tornado area, or what was so funny? And what about the lab gloves?
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby hintss » Fri Mar 12, 2010 10:54 pm UTC

tornadoes can move around. wheres the tornado safe zone?

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby pseudoidiot » Fri Mar 12, 2010 11:01 pm UTC

I'm guessing the part that got everyone laughing was the "assume the position" which could be taken as a euphemism.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Whelan » Fri Mar 12, 2010 11:16 pm UTC

"So, who haven't I spoken to today? Jin!I'm going to be having gin tonight. *pause* Oh me yarm NOT LIKE THAT! *some minutes later, once she'd stopped literally crying with laughter* I should start writing my letter of resignation."
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:13 am UTC

pseudoidiot wrote:I'm guessing the part that got everyone laughing was the "assume the position" which could be taken as a euphemism.

For?
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby H2SO4 » Mon Mar 15, 2010 1:08 pm UTC

Monika wrote:
pseudoidiot wrote:I'm guessing the part that got everyone laughing was the "assume the position" which could be taken as a euphemism.

For?

Urbandictionary is your friend when it comes to euphemisms such as "assume the position"
Assume the Position wrote:assume the position: To tell someone to get down on all fours (hands and knees) preferably when they are naked. The person who is being told assumes they will be receiving something soon.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:14 pm UTC

Okay ... but how do the lab gloves factor in?

Hm, maybe I should not want to know.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Cynical Idealist » Mon Mar 15, 2010 6:11 pm UTC

Monika wrote:Okay ... but how do the lab gloves factor in?

Wiki explains all.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby feedme » Tue Mar 16, 2010 4:59 pm UTC

Ulto wrote:*over loud speaker

Secretary: Mr. K, could you send Scott to the building #3 office?

Mr. K: (into Microphone) No, hes not coming

Secretary: Do I have to inform <Principals name here>?

Mr. K: GO AHEAD! BRING IT ON!

*Speaker turns off

Mr. K: Well, good luck dealing with that one Scott. See you tomorrow.



Ahahaha, did Scott or the teacher end up in trouble?
I had a teacher who did something similar to that, and then go back to teaching world history like nothing happened.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby hintss » Wed Mar 17, 2010 5:04 am UTC

same social studies teacher as earlier

student A throws pencil at Student B's face
student B: teacher! He threw a pencil at my face!
teacher: well, student B, you need to not get hit in the face with a pencil!

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Secateurs » Wed Mar 17, 2010 9:14 am UTC

hintss wrote:same social studies teacher as earlier

student A throws pencil at Student B's face
student B: teacher! He threw a pencil at my face!
teacher: well, student B, you need to not get hit in the face with a pencil!
Haha. My Maths teacher would probably take the alternative 'stop getting in the way of student A's pencils' route.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby rigwarl » Wed Mar 17, 2010 5:11 pm UTC

that sounds pretty dangerous

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby minno » Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:01 am UTC

(When some students were pushing for being able to talk to friends during a quiz)

You get to talk to as many friends as I have. NONE!
If you fight fire with fire, you'll get twice as burned.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby rdnetto » Sat Mar 20, 2010 6:29 am UTC

I had one awesome physics teacher who was in the habit of yelling out "WOAH! DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!!!" everytime he saw a right-angled isosceles triangle. He also wrapped his hand in newspaper then dropped a brick on it in order to demonstrate impulse & momentum to us.
His crowning achievement was pulling out (and starting) a chainsaw in a math class to demonstrate how to find the volume of composite solids. Every class in the building could hear him. The best part was my math teacher's response - "They're in Further Maths. They're special."
(Further Math was the easiest math you could do at Year 12 [the equivalent of Year 9 math really] and we were in the Specialist Math class, which was the hardest)

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby kernelpanic » Sat Mar 20, 2010 3:12 pm UTC

rdnetto wrote:(Further Math was the easiest math you could do at Year 12 [the equivalent of Year 9 math really] and we were in the Specialist Math class, which was the hardest)

I love the euphemisms.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Sat Mar 20, 2010 3:23 pm UTC

rdnetto wrote:the habit of yelling out "WOAH! DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!!!" everytime he saw a right-angled isosceles triangle.

:lol:
My husband tutors kids, mostly in math, I will suggest this to him :D .
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby eSOANEM » Tue Mar 23, 2010 9:51 pm UTC

Physics teacher, in the middle of marking a paper (some people almost everyone weren't wasn't listening): So the answer is... Would anyone else like some cake? I'd like some cake.

*walks off and returns with cake*

Those of us who were listening and got cake: om, nom nom.


And no, the cake wasn't a lie.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby kernelpanic » Wed Mar 24, 2010 11:14 pm UTC

In my school, we have 4 sports teams: Blue, Yellow, Red and White. I'm with the whites, and in a team gathering a teacher shouted "We are the whites! We are the best! Wait, that didn't come out right... Just forget I said that, OK?"
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby hintss » Tue Mar 30, 2010 12:28 am UTC

more of a dumb student quote, but I asked a teacher what a certain paper looked like, she told me to look at a particular person's paper, because that was what he was working on, he sees me and tells me to stop copying his answers.

the teacher point out that his paper was blank.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Levi » Tue Mar 30, 2010 2:24 am UTC

My Physics professor wrote:People don't like math because it's about getting the right answer.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby TheChewanater » Tue Mar 30, 2010 2:32 am UTC

The other day, two students had to present their current event discussion things, but one of them was absent, so the teacher decided to do one himself to take up the time. He said:
Okay, I'm going to do a really boring current even to make [[student]]'s seem more exciting in comparison. Now, how many of you have heard of Obama's health care reform?
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Tue Mar 30, 2010 9:08 am UTC

Levi wrote:
My Physics professor wrote:People don't like math because it's about getting the right answer.

Interestingly a recent survey in Germany showed math to be the second most liked subject after PE. I would not have thought that.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby ImTwenty » Tue Mar 30, 2010 12:56 pm UTC

My professor is 79 and looks like Mark Twain. He lectures from the back of classroom.

My favorite of his quotes is:

Why does Jesus look like someone I did acid with in the 60's?

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Monika » Tue Mar 30, 2010 1:47 pm UTC

Why does he lecture from the back of the classroom?

And Jesus sure looks like a hippy in popular depictions.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Turtle_ » Tue Apr 06, 2010 1:19 pm UTC

Teacher (holding up a paper): Why do you guys turn in crap like this?
Students (worried): Why? What's wrong with it?
Teacher: What? I was talking about the stuff on the edge. (When you tear a piece of paper out of a notebook and there are little pieces stuck on the side)
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby TheChewanater » Tue Apr 06, 2010 7:06 pm UTC

This was at a rehearsal for a musical I neglected to attend.

*band is playing*
*lights go out*
*band director stops*

Music Director: Why'd you stop playing.
Band teacher: I'm... I'm scared.
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