Awesome Teacher Quotes

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BiancaBlack
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby BiancaBlack » Wed Jun 11, 2008 2:32 pm UTC

First family law lecture:

"There is no such thing as if a marriage ends, there is only when a marriage ends. Divorce or death, that's where you're all headed"
This one time at, er, space camp...

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby rockin2the70s » Wed Jun 11, 2008 9:35 pm UTC

My AP US History teacher also taught AP Euro History, and they made shirts with some of his quotes on it:
10. When something goes wrong with Technology, I usually panic (He was something of a technophobe-he once tried to put a DVD in a VHS slot)
9. Someone Left the kids unsupervised, and the next thing you know, someone has a lance through his head
8. One of the generals committed suicide on the battlefield, not a good way to start a war
7. So the flies get on the rats, and the next thing you know, everyone is dead, I’m not sure of the details
6. Inflation was pretty bad, imagine yourself as a 45 year old German guy, with about 100,000 marcs saved up for retirement, with all the inflation, you could retire for about 5 seconds
5. Yeah, we never went over that, but it was on the test, tough question eh?
4. As I was saying, before I so rudely interrupted myself
3. Curt-“you can’t do that”
Dwalk- “actually, Curt, I can do anything I want”
2. “Well, I walked into a garage and ‘acquired’ them”
-Mr. Walker on books
1. “I would imagine a moose would have a hard enough time navigating a castle stairway, and with a BAC above .08%, that’s downright dangerous…”
-Mr. Walker on Tycho Brahes Moose


My chem teacher freshman year once said "If you're late once, you're tardy. If you're late again, you're retardy"
Why are we here?
Because we're here, roll the bones.
Why does it happen?
Because it happens, roll the bones.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Freya » Fri Jun 13, 2008 11:42 pm UTC

My CUP Social Sciences Lecturer:

I have been told that you have all come here because you are cabbages. Hence, it falls to me to turn you into something else. Zucchinis, perhaps.


Every time I see the 'Zucchinis' line in Heroes I laugh.

My...fifth form science teacher, I think?

Okay, good! Not actually correct, but good!

[spilling copper sulfate] And I'm pouring it...everywhere. Don't worry, it's only toxic.


For the second half of fifth form, we got a different science teacher...

You're working too hard! Stop it!


My sixth form history teacher...

Yes, New Zealand's relationship with Britain is a bit like your relationship with your 21 year old son. You know, they move out of home, become independent...until they call you one day, asking for money.


My fifth form English teacher...

You all know what to do if I fall on the ground because my hearts not working, right? I mean, don't just stand there, get help. But not the principal. Anybody but the principal. I don't want Doc Mart to be giving me the kiss of life.

[on the foreshore and seabed debate] Yes, because people who break out of prison are going to be wearing large hats saying 'I've just broken out of prison!'

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby omega » Sat Jun 14, 2008 1:03 am UTC

You know, I am a theorist. I don't want to be bothered, and I'm bad with, practical things like implementations or technology or so. This shows in the following.
I once was at a conference in the US, and as you all know, the coffee they make there is bad so I wanted to brew myself a cup of tea. I put water and a teabag in a mug, put the mug in the microwave and was trying to figure out how to turn the damn thing on for five minutes.
Then, I noticed it was the room safe.
There you go. I'm a theorist. I won't tell you much about the practice in this lecture.

Prof for Intro to Theoretical CS

And this enzyme plays a very important role in the... err.. the... in the Stoffwechsel...

Biochemistry prof whose English ... left room for improvement ... and who tried to give a lecture in English nonetheless. (Stoffwechsel is german for metabolism)

...the positive electron cloud here...

Inorganic Chemistry teacher. We jokingly claimed she wrote her PhD thesis about the importance of antimatter in complex chemistry afterwards. (She wasn't a bad chemist tho, just not the best teacher.)

So let's multiply this vector with 3... 3*3 is 9, clearly... 3*0 is 0... 3*4 is... err... is... uh... is... 10...

"Math" for Scientists teacher.

Well, the drama has a happy ending... okay, everyone dies, but still...

German teacher in secondary school

If we all could kill without being punished, there'd be way less teachers in the world.
[pause]
And way less students.

Philosophy and ethics teacher in secondary school.

So, imagine we're all vectors, and I am a combination of 4*Thomas - 2*Esther + 1*Andy + 5*Daniel, so I'm unnecessary and you can leave me out, as I can be combined out of you guys. And if I can't be created by a combination of all of you I am morally superior to you or so but that doesn't exist in mathematics.

Attempt of a secondary school math teacher to explain linear combination of vectors.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Bad » Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:11 pm UTC

"What the fuck are you guys doing?"

Bio teacher upon catching several students using the computers to look at porn during class.


He got in trouble... but he was cool.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Mr. Beck » Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:36 pm UTC

Bad wrote:"What the fuck are you guys doing?"
Bio teacher upon catching several students using the computers to look at porn during class.
He got in trouble... but he was cool.


Reminds me of my own story- 8th grade physics teacher:
If you're going to do a google search for "penis", at least do it when I'm not standing right behind you.

The kid literally jumped a foot in the air.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Freya » Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:53 pm UTC

There was a teacher at my school who, every spell he taught, would arrange for something to explode. Even if he was covering for classes that weren't science, he made things explode.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Julie » Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:59 am UTC

My AP econ teacher was telling us about ratemyprofessor.com on the last day of school. He was telling us how he picked his college classes based on the lack of a final, easiness of teachers, et cetera and that he used this site a lot (he's a new teacher). Anyway, he was telling us how he got bad professors professors...
"So, I got raped by my professors because I didn't use this site..." and then he realized what he'd said.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby JayDee » Sun Jun 15, 2008 4:33 am UTC

Freya wrote:There was a teacher at my school who, every spell he taught, would arrange for something to explode. Even if he was covering for classes that weren't science, he made things explode.
So you go to Hogwarts then?
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Mr. Beck » Sun Jun 15, 2008 4:35 am UTC

Mr. Beck has another one!
My Humanities teacher, Scott Key, used to preface every PowerPoint presentation he gave with a few relevant quotes.
"When I have money I buy books, and if there is any left over I buy food and clothing"
-Erasmus

"When I have money I buy Broadband, and if there is any left over I renew my Netflix subscription"
-Scott Key, with apologies to Erasmus

(Who was Erasmus anyway?)

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby JayDee » Sun Jun 15, 2008 5:13 am UTC

Mr. Beck wrote:(Who was Erasmus anyway?)
If you are actually asking this (rather than it being part of the quote) it's this guy.
Desiderius Erasmus wrote:Ad Graecas literas totum animum applicui; statimque, ut pecuniam accpero, Graecus primum autores, deinde vestes emam.
The Mighty Thesaurus wrote:I believe that everything can and must be joked about.
Hawknc wrote:I like to think that he hasn't left, he's just finally completed his foe list.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Freya » Sun Jun 15, 2008 5:44 am UTC

JayDee wrote:
Freya wrote:There was a teacher at my school who, every spell he taught, would arrange for something to explode. Even if he was covering for classes that weren't science, he made things explode.
So you go to Hogwarts then?


Yes, every spell. That's what we called them over in NZ and, more specifically, at my school Onslow.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby kinigget » Sun Jun 15, 2008 7:52 am UTC

my CP Physics teacher was amazing:
so I thought about buying an electric eel to help teach electricity, I thought it would be great because you could chuck stuff into the tank for it to eat and watch it do it's thing, then explain how it worked. And then I found out that electric eels grow to about ten feet long and you can't actually keep one as a pet.


there was also her fascination with wombats and even the word "wombat"
just say it "wombat!"


I also had an english teacher who told us one day that his perfect world had been ruined because he had left his room, and then proceeded to re-enact the conversation that took place between him and the principle
"mr. Atherton!"
(cringe) "yes?"
"I want you to teach (something relating to government, I forget exactly what it was)"
"but I'm an anarchist, do you really want me teaching these kids government?"

apparently that last line didn't get him out of it.

this next one is really more of an event that happened in my environmental science class one day, you should know that the teacher for that class loved music and had speakers all over the room.
so class is proceeding normally one day, I think we were doing a lab, and then all of a sudden I hear a soft thumping noise, the thumping gets louder and the room gets quieter as more people stop what they're doing and start listening. So the thumping is now really loud and then suddenly an earth shattering roar tears through the classroom, now by this point we are all too stunned to speak, so the teacher explains that for every class he likes to pick a day at random to turn his subwoofers all the way up, and play part of Jurassic Park.
I loved that class, that was also the class where the teacher demonstrated why you shouldn't squirt the squirt bottles at each other by turning off the lights, squirting one of the squirt bottles onto the floor, and then lighting the puddle, there was alcohol in the bottle.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Mr. Beck » Sun Jun 15, 2008 6:43 pm UTC

JayDee wrote:
Mr. Beck wrote:(Who was Erasmus anyway?)
If you are actually asking this (rather than it being part of the quote) it's this guy.
Desiderius Erasmus wrote:Ad Graecas literas totum animum applicui; statimque, ut pecuniam accpero, Graecus primum autores, deinde vestes emam.

It was part of the quote, hence it being in the quote box.

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby ShaKri » Mon Jun 16, 2008 11:56 pm UTC

One of the Maths lecturers likes to describe Proof by Induction as "Teaching an advanced race of aliens,that have never encountered stairs, how to climb stairs"

(something to do with if you teach them how to step up the first step.. then teach them to go from one step to another... and let them work on it for a bit... they will get there)
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Master Gunner » Tue Jun 17, 2008 3:55 am UTC

Can't believe I've forgotten my Chemistry teacher for so long.
Every Friday he'd end his class with:
Mr. Gerhardt wrote:If you choose to drink and do drugs, don't drive!

Of course, he'd often mix it up, leaving such gems as:
Mr. Gerhardt also wrote:If you choose to drive, drink and do drugs!

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Mercy » Tue Jun 17, 2008 7:01 am UTC

I have an awesome Mathematical Analysis II professor. He is rather loud and possesses this towering build of a fearsome elderly man. He is just unbelievably amusing though. The first lecture he gave us, he spent 15 minutes on talking about the pros and cons of drowning kittens and then concluded that he is a) a blubbering idiot and b) we should really try to keep awake during his lecture.

I also received a handful of flowers the first time I showed up for a colloquium and the second time he took a good 5 minutes to tell the class how I appear to be so full of life and energy, that every time I step into the classroom he feels like a leech, sucking away my energy. When I finally got my grade from this man (a C), he looked to the large collection of people present, working their asses off for their exam, and said "And I'd like to remind you all that this grade is not for her cleavage, but that she is really worth the C." A C was widely considered as a roaring success in his class. Also, I was excused from 2 colloquiums for telling him what date it would be on the following Tuesday and before I got my grade signed I had to go buy him a black pen.
Sorry for the musings, I'm quite fond of that professor.

Anyway:

"I hope you don't say 'yes' that easily in church, but think a little bit beforehand!"

While considering a exam paper with the student who had written it. "Why do you want to be called an engineer....a poet would be much more suiting."

"To a drunkard, this is 60¤, but to an engineer, this is pii/3!"

There are plenty more, will add as I remember them. :>
"I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem." -- Ashleigh Brilliant

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby AKAnotu » Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:33 am UTC

Mercy wrote:The first lecture he gave us, he spent 15 minutes on talking about the pros and cons of drowning kittens
Maybe he just plays dwarf fortress?
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Vaniver » Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:23 am UTC

AKAnotu wrote:Maybe he just plays dwarf fortress?
But if you drown them, it's harder to get at the sweet sweet kitten flesh! It's far better to drop them off a tall tower or into a pit (or, better yet, both) or just have the butcher slaughter them.
I mostly post over at LessWrong now.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Hyena » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:10 am UTC

I have a science teacher who barely takes us seriously, but he's pretty good. after getting slightly ahead of the entire yeargroup (by a week adn a half) he decided that we would be mucking around with liquid nitrogen for a few lessons. which we proceeded to do. :twisted:

Today, he was trying to explain how to explain something (there's a definition somewhere). The official way of doing it is to "relate cause to effect"
so, cause and effect. for example, umm (looks around room, sees a friend of mine clicking a pen absentmindedly) YOU! so lets say, the effect is me throwing you out of the room. the cause is you being really damn annoying!
but we can go further, like cause: you annoying me, effect: massive amounts of pain for you. and there can be another effect, me getting sued, so on and so forth.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Themata » Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:43 pm UTC

Hyena wrote:I have a science teacher who barely takes us seriously, but he's pretty good. after getting slightly ahead of the entire yeargroup (by a week adn a half) he decided that we would be mucking around with liquid nitrogen for a few lessons. which we proceeded to do. :twisted:

Today, he was trying to explain how to explain something (there's a definition somewhere). The official way of doing it is to "relate cause to effect"
so, cause and effect. for example, umm (looks around room, sees a friend of mine clicking a pen absentmindedly) YOU! so lets say, the effect is me throwing you out of the room. the cause is you being really damn annoying!
but we can go further, like cause: you annoying me, effect: massive amounts of pain for you. and there can be another effect, me getting sued, so on and so forth.


I love our science class. A lot.

Solo is a legend.

Same teacher was debating with a girl in our class about how to pronounce her name for about 10 minutes. He's Greek and claims the name is Greek, she says it's Spanish. Was great.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby DarkLordofSquirrels » Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:26 pm UTC

My intro physics teacher freshman year had all sorts of great stuff.

(Example of a turning car to illustrate non-inertial frames) "Try and do a free-body diagram in the frame of reference of the car. You've got the force of gravity going down, normal force from the ground pointing up, and now this mysterious 'door-suck' force. Whenever you turn right, you get sucked hard to the left. Whenever you turn left, you get sucked hard to the left." (Dramatic pause) "THERE IS NO DOOR SUCK FORCE."

"If you don't turn in homework on time, then it will be late..."

(Adding vectors) "So then we add this guy to this guy... (stops dead, perplexed) Or they could be girls... doesn't matter, they're vectors."

"When you think about it, do we really need to mess around with all these little test charges? NO!
...unless you really like them."


My organic lab instructor, 55-ish woman, was telling us about how to assemble the various glass apparati.
"OK, so you see that there are MALE pieces and FEMALE pieces. The vacuum grease always goes on the MALE parts. Then you insert it into the female parts, and twist it around a bit to make sure you get a good seal. Always make sure to grease up before attaching anything to a round-bottom flask. You guys always giggle >_>"

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Lenary » Wed Jun 18, 2008 9:44 pm UTC

two ones, i think
the first, though strictly not a teacher quote goes like this
we were discussing insomnia and things that make noises in the night, and kirsty goes into a rant about how foxes make so much noise. 3 guys, myself included decided to have our own convo, and then one starts listening to kirsty's conversation when it's ending and asks "Kirsty raped a fox?"... now that brings a lot of meaning to "foxy lady"

and in a more recent class(today) an it and geog teacher (world renowned geographer) was talking to us about how to format our essays in Word. one boy stops paying attention, and he notices, so he tells the story:
you know why it's bad to not pay attention in my classes? (NO) well, there was this one time a boy stopped concentrating in a class, so to get back his attention, i (said teacher) started to undress. to my annoyance, the class stayed silent, and the boy carried on oblivious. thankfully someone corpsed as i was taking off my trousers and he finally paid attention. and that's why you should not switch off in class, because it's a bad sight.
(the guy was not so sure about this)
Oh, it certainly is
(we all laughed)
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Mercy » Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:27 am UTC

My Prelaw professor:
"I could be working as a Mob attorney right now, making insane amounts of money, but someone has to teach you guys too."
He was a horribly ostentatious man. Brr.

Intro to Physics professor:
"And remember, if you ever jump out of a moving vehicle, jump in the opposite direction of it's movement, you'll break less bones."
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby RockoTDF » Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:17 am UTC

"I can't ask the rat 'was that good for you, too?" - On Morgan's Canon and animal behavior

"Predator drones are like multimillion dollar nintendos for killing people" - On differing skills of pilots and aircraft, expertise seminar

"Nobody here is an expert cattle judge, right?" - Expertise seminar

Same prof, there are many more but they require a lot of set up or i can't remember them now.
Just because it is not physics doesn't mean it is not science.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Emmaskillz » Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:02 am UTC

One I heard just now that made me chuckle.

Chem teacher: 'Nature is not kinky.'

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby setris » Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:52 pm UTC

I once walked by the AP Bio class and heard the teacher say, for about the hundredth time going by her tone, "Would you stop playing with the outlets?!"

And back in seventh grade, some kid wanted to get out of class and go to the nurse. It was something small, a cut or something, but he was an idiot and decided to convince the teacher anyway. The response he got as the teacher was filling out the nurse slip: "Alright, whatever, I'll send you down. You know, under where it asks for the reason, I should write 'boo-boo'. I think I will. I'll write 'boo-boo'. Here you go, boo-boo." This became the kid's nickname for the next two years.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Emmaskillz » Fri Jun 27, 2008 10:38 am UTC

setris wrote:And back in seventh grade, some kid wanted to get out of class and go to the nurse. It was something small, a cut or something, but he was an idiot and decided to convince the teacher anyway. The response he got as the teacher was filling out the nurse slip: "Alright, whatever, I'll send you down. You know, under where it asks for the reason, I should write 'boo-boo'. I think I will. I'll write 'boo-boo'. Here you go, boo-boo." This became the kid's nickname for the next two years.


AHAHAHAHAHHAHAH that's fantastic :lol:

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Ortho » Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:31 pm UTC

Someone in my year made a lecturer quotes web page, mostly focused on the Maths lecturers. Lesson: maths lecturers are all insane, especially the russian ones.

Priceless Lecturers' Quotes

Some of my favourites: (I wasn't there for all the ones on teh web site, but I think I was for most of these)

"We all know that this is certainly not true, but let's just pretend it is."

"Well, this proof doesn't work for x=3, but it doesn't really matter, and neither do I care."

"Hmmm ... doesn't seem to hold for x=1, but let's not worry, we'll just get rid of that. You know it's true!"

"The real projective plane is a rather cuddly surface."
And with that, he passed around a model of one that he'd knitted earlier!

"Bourbaki is a celebrated, but imaginary, French mathematician."

"You thought you were in a pure mathematics course, but here's a real world application!"

"Of course, this works for other values of two."

And they're all from the same lecturer!

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby cwoodin » Sat Jun 28, 2008 10:32 pm UTC

The choir director at school is famous for "awkward moments"

Here's one of the famous ones -

This summer I started 2 new piano students. After their 2nd lesson was finished we found their mom and baby sister sitting on the floor outside of room 212 with a BIG bag of Cheetos, snacking away. Since it was ONLY their 2nd lesson, it was still really awkward talking to their mom! Luckily, it was only about to get more awkward. As we're talking, they ATTACK the Cheetos bag. As luck would have it, out comes (our choir director) from the men's restroom. I didn't know what to do...could I handle TWO awkward situations at once!? As he prances by, he does his usual "Oh hi! *chuckle chuckle* Hi!" thing, then notices the Cheetos. "OH! Are those...CHEETOS!?" he asks. "YES!!! MMMMM!!!!" the kids say. "Oh ya...those are...oh ya. Those are good!" he says. He's about 4 feet away from us, then suddenly STOPS, turns around, and comes back, eyeing the Cheetos the whole time! Meanwhile, the mom and I are trying to decide if we should keep having our awkward convo or have one with him. He comes back and stands next to me and keeps saying "ya, those are good...my favorite snack!" So the mom says, "well....do you WANT some?" "Oh no...well, ya! I do!" So he bends down, grabs a handful while the kids have their hands in the bag, laughs, tells me "gotta get some while you can get some!" and walks off happily. I wanted to hide!
He said he never tells a lie!
He was lying about that.

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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Alpha Omicron » Sun Jun 29, 2008 7:20 pm UTC


Quoted for hilarity.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby o0o0xmods0o0o » Sun Jun 29, 2008 8:03 pm UTC

My 8th grade history teacher, "And on the ships the sailors wore sea-men jackets made of blank material."
She didn't realize the implication of what she had said until after the students were laughing hysterically.

My 10th grade Math teacher was pretty weird, she would often stop mid-sentence and say "Opps, I burped!" which I found odd.
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Shakleton » Mon Jun 30, 2008 8:41 pm UTC

Alpha Omicron wrote:

Quoted for hilarity.


Quoted for "You are so right, Sir"

"Are there any chemists in here?"
*silence*
"Ah, I can say what I want then: we physicists don't mess around; anything heavier than helium is a metal."
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horselovergurl
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby horselovergurl » Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:35 pm UTC

My Calculus teacher, on my birthday, sang to me what her parents sang to her for her 6th birthday.

"Happy birthday...
Sin and sorrow in the air,
people are dying everywhere,
but happy birthday.


My Calc teacher again, while talking about how she was hit by a car when she was 8.

Her: It was kinda fun, all those people bringing me things! We didn't have a tv at home, but there was one in my room, so I got to watch all these shows. And they brought me food whenever I wanted! The hospital people were really nice! I really enjoyed it. You guys should try it sometime!
My friend: Getting hit by a car?
Her: (happily) Yeah! It's kinda fun! You know, other than the...pain...


My math teachers are always so hilariously quotable. I remember my Pre-Calc teacher said a lot of contradictory things, so it was hilarious.

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scowdich
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby scowdich » Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:53 pm UTC

Ah, the Viking birthday dirge. Semi-standard lyrics can be found here, courtesy of the SCA. You really need a drum to do it properly.
Happy birthday...happy birthday...
May your candles burn like cities in your wake...

evanmccaleb
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby evanmccaleb » Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:55 am UTC

Ah I have a pretty good one back from high school.

In AP Calculus class:

Airheaded girl in over her head: Mr Staten what is Calculus good for? Why do we need to learn this?

Mr Staten: Well because Calculus saves lives.

Girl: It does?

Mr Staten: Yeah, it keeps stupid people out of Medical school.

jimmus mcbobbus
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby jimmus mcbobbus » Wed Jul 02, 2008 6:54 am UTC

We have a teacher who goes off on some random tangents, he's a biology/chemistry teacher.

One day we were doing titrations, and he told us about this indicator that we were using being one of the strongest diarrhea inducers on the planet.

Then he said about a teacher who no one liked.

Then he implied that this chemical found its way into this teachers drink.

And he wasn't seen for two months.

Tenth Speed Writer
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby Tenth Speed Writer » Wed Jul 02, 2008 7:10 pm UTC

I'm going to miss my math teacher from last year, so much.

"Well, that's the general idea of mathematics. If you don't know what something is, you write a definition for it!"



This carried on through the year.


Calculus: A really fun way to find things that are too big or too small to matter.
Why e^(i * pi) = -1: It just does. Shut up.
Trigonometry: More about triangles than you ever wanted to know, part three.


Although I'm guilty of a few occasions in class myself.
Not the thread to go into detail on it, but my favorite boils down to "Yes, there are EIGHT letters in the word 'fishing', and I will defend that to the death."





I also have my 10th grade English teacher, whom I had to fight tooth and nail against to prove that "The Pledge of Allegiance was not written in 1790 with the words 'Under God' already in it."

And this past year, one which really sums up what my AP American Lit. course was like:

"Oh, some times I just... love watching you all suffer."



Then, there was my Chemistry professor, who summed up his course equally well-
Me: "But.. that's physically impossible."
Him: "Well, I control the universe and the laws of physics. Now shut up and work the problem."
Civil Engineering Major, University of Alabama.
"Yessir, I reckon 'em 'ere cent'rl s'port beams'll hol' up a'right..."

Mallet über alles!

BlackRiven
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby BlackRiven » Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:15 pm UTC

Today in Combinatorics: The teacher was analyzing an example using recursion. He defined the stop conditions and to clarify things did a demonstration for some specific values, where he discovered that he missed a border case for the stop conditions.
Student: "Aren't you supposed to be able to see that beforehand?"
Teacher: "Do you want me to ask you that after the exam?"

History teacher in highschool:
Teacher: "...and so Hitler met with Stalin to discuss the partition of Poland and said: 'give me 2 kg of tomatoes, and 5 kg of cucumbers'"
Everybody: "...-what?"
Teacher: "Did you write that down? Stop copying everything I say word for word."
He always tried to get us to learn to summarize instead of copy.

Calculus 1: From the lecturer in charge
"Last year there was the student strike, and so we were very forgiving in the test results, and now every day all the Calculus 2 teachers, including my wife, come to me to complain about the students I passed on to them."
This one is funny more because of the mental image than the actual words.

In Digital Systems: Somebody asks the lecturer what a Minterm is, the lecturer replies: "Do you know what 'min' is?" Min is sex in Hebrew. Everybody started laughing, and the quote appeared in the student paper. Next year the same questions is asked, and the teacher replies: "last year my answer to that question got me quoted in the student newspaper, so this time I'm going to explain what a Maxterm is instead."

Unknown, taken from the student newspaper: "The gravity in this classroom is pretty low, it takes a long time for things to sink in."
Calculus ist krieg!!!!!factorialfactorial11

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niteice
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Re: Awesome Teacher Quotes

Postby niteice » Fri Jul 04, 2008 5:47 am UTC

BlackRiven wrote:History teacher in highschool:
Teacher: "...and so Hitler met with Stalin to discuss the partition of Poland and said: 'give me 2 kg of tomatoes, and 5 kg of cucumbers'"
Everybody: "...-what?"
Teacher: "Did you write that down? Stop copying everything I say word for word."
He always tried to get us to learn to summarize instead of copy.


Ooh, I had a history teacher that pulled things like at at least once a unit. For example, he told us that Caligula held lavish parties in the Senate with his horse and copious amounts of cocaine; eventually the Senate politely asked him to knock it off.
GENERATION 4294967292: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum, negate the generation, and convert it to a 32-bit unsigned integer. Social experiment.


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