Awesome Student Quotes

The school experience. School related queries, discussions, and stories that aren't specific to a subject.

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screech
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby screech » Mon Jul 20, 2009 12:44 am UTC

Oddly enough, this was in Journalism. It came off talk about the moon landings.

Student 1: One side of Mercury is boiling and the other's freezing.
Student 2: So it's liveable?
Student 1: No-
Student 2: Like around the middle?
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snowyowl
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby snowyowl » Mon Jul 20, 2009 9:30 am UTC

I knew this list would come in handy.
Translated from French (yes, I go to school in France), some quotes from my maths class (students and teachers combined, sorry):
  • There is a wining strategy in chess: play against <student>.
  • This sum is equal to 0 if and only if you multiply it out.
  • The teachers here give some very good Fs.
  • "Elliptic curve" is one word with a space in the middle.
  • We have never had any students who have won <prize> three times. Actually, we still don't have any.
  • This proof is sponsored by the chalk manufacturers.
  • I'm not going to write this down, but if I did it would be interesting.
  • We've had the exact same food last week. The menus are written to mod 7.
  • Well, 25 is nearly infinite...
  • Right, turn to question [imath]5+\frac{1}{\sqrt{\pi}}[/imath]
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Monika » Mon Jul 20, 2009 12:10 pm UTC

snowyowl wrote:This proof is sponsored by the chalk manufacturers.

:lol: If I were still studying math and CS, I'd need a sign with that for math lectures.
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DeathIsTheEnd
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby DeathIsTheEnd » Tue Jul 21, 2009 2:32 pm UTC

I phrase we started using a lot in maths.
Just diff it.

Please note it wasn't actually my idea.

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby TheQ » Tue Jul 21, 2009 4:13 pm UTC

In AP Bio earlier this year we were watching an APEX video about animal behavior. It starts details a certain mating behavior where the male exposes himself to the female and thus successfully attracts her. I turned to my friend behind me and said "Dude, i've tried that and it doesn't work like that...".

the sad part is that half the class probably thought i was serious. I guess i give off a creepy vibe or something.

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby genghis007 » Tue Jul 21, 2009 4:22 pm UTC

This guy at college, I'll call him Cifor, is a legend :P

Teacher..."ok guys go on your 5 minute break"
We all leave the room...
Cifor...."Guys we should get back to class"
Dan..."wtf...its only been 10 seconds"
Cifor..."oh..well how am i supposed to no bitch"


Cifor is searching for pictures on google images.
Teacher - "Ed! What is that"
Cifor - "She's stripping"
Teacher- "You're as bad as Arun"
Cifor - "At least this is a girl... bitch"

Teacher "what are the primary colours of light"
Cifor - "the rainbow"

Teacher "So how do you use a camera?"
Cifor "Click the button!!!"

Cifor is being a muppet as always
Matt - Shut up
Cifor - Thats what your mum said to me last night when i was sleeping with her

"Sweat patches are sexy"

"Cows are sexy because they're naked"


There are so many more but I can't remember them
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby HarleyQuinn » Wed Jul 22, 2009 2:02 am UTC

*During Marching Band*

Conductor: Ok, there seems to be some confusion about where on the line you should stand. In this part of the state, we place the balls of our feet on the line, got it?

Upperclassman: Heard that everyone? Put your balls on the line!
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby ceram89 » Sat Jul 25, 2009 2:27 am UTC

In the middle of Health class, an acquaintance of mine decided to try and enlighten me with new found scientific knowledge. He ask me: "Hey! Did you know that life on earth is going to end in 11 billion years?" I was already doubting him, but allowed him to continue. "In 11 billion years another galaxy is going to collide with ours and pull the earth out of the sun's orbit, then all life on earth will end." I ask: "What will happen when the sun expands into a red giant and vaporizes the earth in 5 billion years?" He answered: " The light from the sun will gently push the earth away and bask it in eternal light." I was baffled.

The worst part is, this kid managed to get a 5 on his AP Statistics test.

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby The_Duck » Wed Jul 29, 2009 2:59 am UTC

"Fuck the lasers, Torey, I'm going for your throat!"
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby 01000011 » Sat Aug 01, 2009 11:04 am UTC

"There's sad, there's pathetic and then... there's me."
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby kapojinha » Sat Aug 01, 2009 11:10 am UTC

I think I will steal that for my signature. Thank you.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Zelda007 » Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:03 pm UTC

First day back and I've already got one. This was in my Web Design class. I expect many more to come from here.

Teacher: What does CPU stand for?
Student 1: Computer Processing Unit
Student 2: Central Processing Unit
Teacher: Correct [Student 2]
Student 3: Is it really? I always thought CPU just stood for computer. Like how TV stands for TV.

I had to restrain myself on that one. I don't know if I belong in that class anyway. It's full of people who have a hard time passing school. Very few of them actually seem to want to learn web programming.

I was hoping for someone in Astronomy to ask if we were studying Astrology. To my dismay, no such thing happened.
Image

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby 01000011 » Tue Aug 11, 2009 5:19 pm UTC

Zelda007 wrote:I was hoping for someone in Astronomy to ask if we were studying Astrology. To my dismay, no such thing happened.


I'm starting the astronomy module after the summer. I've already had someone ask me 'Oh is that like the starsign predict the future thing?' No. It is not.
But I can see most people in my class (It's a mixed ability class) asking that.

kapojinha wrote:I think I will steal that for my signature. Thank you.


Feel free, I don't mind :D
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby IHOPancake » Thu Aug 27, 2009 1:06 am UTC

A freind said jokingly
The office of alumni affairs is in alumni house. That's where you go if you want to have an affair with an alumni
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Midnight » Thu Aug 27, 2009 1:31 am UTC

Teacher: "really, as far as taboo goes, the real no-no in all cultures is incest"
Shawn: "no dude, incest is totally socially acceptable"
uhhhh fuck.

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby eSOANEM » Thu Aug 27, 2009 9:55 am UTC

Midnight, had your teacher ever heard of ancient egypt?

I can't remember any other examples but I'm pretty certain there are some fairly prominent historical figures who agreed with shawn.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Monika » Thu Aug 27, 2009 10:07 am UTC

In ancient Egypt incest was forbidden, too. The only exception were the kings. As they were gods they were only allowed to marry gods, so incest was the only option.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby eSOANEM » Thu Aug 27, 2009 12:40 pm UTC

well there is that but it wasn't completely taboo there. And of course there's all the notorious going-ons of the Victorian era European monarchs.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby kapojinha » Thu Aug 27, 2009 12:58 pm UTC

Midnight wrote:Teacher: "really, as far as taboo goes, the real no-no in all cultures is incest"
Shawn: "no dude, incest is totally socially acceptable"


What about the royal families in Europe?
They all inter-married..
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby eSOANEM » Thu Aug 27, 2009 1:59 pm UTC

The royal families were famously incestuous. All the families were all related to each other (perfectly reasonable) but then they still insisted on only marrying other European Royals.

Granted it's not as closely related as the pharoahs though.

Also, going back to Egypt, in a very well cited article on wikipedia (sorry to bring it up as 'evidence') and having followed up the citations on the subject (http://www.jstor.org/pss/2804054) it seems clear that it was not actually confined to the pharoahs but was actually quite widespread.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Monika » Thu Aug 27, 2009 2:03 pm UTC

kapojinha wrote:What about the royal families in Europe?
They all inter-married..

They neither married their siblings nor their parents/children.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby kapojinha » Thu Aug 27, 2009 2:30 pm UTC

Monika wrote:They neither married their siblings nor their parents/children.


Incest doesn't necessarily have to be between siblings or parents/children.

in⋅cest
–noun

1. sexual intercourse between closely related persons.
2. the crime of sexual intercourse, cohabitation, or marriage between persons within the degrees of consanguinity or affinity wherein marriage is legally forbidden.

Note: Though each society has its own system for determining the range of people who fall into this category, every society has an incest taboo of some sort.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Monika » Thu Aug 27, 2009 3:17 pm UTC

We were talking about how all societies have rules against incest. As only a few societies have rules against marrying cousins and nieces/nephews/uncles/aunts, it was obviously refering to the close sense of sibling marriage and parent-child marriage.


BTW: when one set of identical twins and another set of identical twins marry, the children of the couples are legally allowed to get married (except where cousin marriage is outlawed, I don't know of countries where this is currently the case) - but they are gentically just as closely related to each other / similar as full brothers and sisters! Kind of creepy.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby 3_of_8 » Fri Aug 28, 2009 9:48 am UTC

Well, I got a couple of good quotes from my school.

In last year's history course:
Teacher: And there was this one man who was so powerful that he even became a threat to Barbarossa. And his name was?
Student: Barbarossa.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Age of Empires II


In my physics course:
Teacher: Next time, we'll watch a film about the theory of relativity. We won't get through with it in one lesson, it's 60 minutes long.
Student: Is that for an observer at rest?


In my English course: (as a foreign language)
Teacher shows a picture of a woman and asks whether she'd be a good politician or not.
Student 1: She´s black.
Teacher: Well, that's not a real reason why she's a good politician.
After a few more reasons:
Teacher: Okay, let´s count the reasons. I only count black as half.
Student 2: I´m so gonna quote that out of context...


On the hallway:
Student 1, totally gutted, just having done an RE test:
"Man, God is shite."
Student 2: (atheist) I've been telling you for three years.


On the hallway:
A couple of students go through the hallway and have a crate of beer with them, a teacher sees it.
Teacher: Well, actually, you're not allowed to have something like that with you in school. But if I get two bottles, I haven't seen anything.
He takes two bottles and takes a look at them.
Teacher: Are you insane? That's alcohol-free!


in my social studies course:
Female student: ...and the you people who don't have a job and no perspectives, they get pregnant.
Male student: Well, mainly the women.
Last edited by 3_of_8 on Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:51 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Walter.Horvath » Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:20 pm UTC

3_of_8 wrote:
On the hallway:
Student 1, totally gutted, just having done an RE test:
"Man, God is shite."
Student 2: (atheist) I've been telling you for three years.

Shi'ite or shit? *confused*

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Whelan » Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:44 pm UTC

Probably shit, seeing as shite is a British way of saying it without swearing that doesn't make sense.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby 3_of_8 » Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:52 pm UTC

Yes. Just pretend I wrote "God sucks.", if you're American.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Monika » Fri Aug 28, 2009 10:31 pm UTC

I thought all this shite beach heck gosh darn stuff were American and not British. And those'd just say "bollocks".
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Peanutchair » Sat Aug 29, 2009 10:10 am UTC

Sex Education.

Teacher: ... of course, masturbation is a factor for boys and many will experiment with it.
Benny: But it doesn't work!

I swear to God he actually said it.

History.

[We're watching The Pianist and we've been silent the whole time, then you see an RPG]
Whole class: RPG! RPG! COD4 YEAH! COD4!
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Monika » Sat Aug 29, 2009 11:12 am UTC

A role play game? :?:
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby 3_of_8 » Sat Aug 29, 2009 2:00 pm UTC

Maybe a rocket-propelled grenade? Or an RPG-7 anti-tank weapon?
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Walter.Horvath » Sat Aug 29, 2009 6:00 pm UTC

Peanutchair wrote:Sex Education.

Teacher: ... of course, masturbation is a factor for boys and many will experiment with it.
Benny: But it doesn't work!

I swear to God he actually said it.

Wow, that's never ever ever mentioned in my district's Sex Ed class...

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Monika » Sat Aug 29, 2009 8:16 pm UTC

Nor in mine. It was just: how to procreate, how not to procreate, how not to die of Aids.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Walter.Horvath » Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:36 pm UTC

A student walked into our first period today after getting a schedule changed. Our class is non-CIS (one of the magnets at our school), so they were trying to separate all of the students to the corresponding classes. Anyway, she walks in, lets the teacher know that she's been transferred, and someone at the back of the room shouts, "Hah, you're stupid!"

If only he realized it before saying it a few more times.

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Monika » Wed Sep 02, 2009 8:06 pm UTC

What does "non-CIS" mean?

And does this quote make more sense when I know this? :confused:
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby thicknavyrain » Wed Sep 02, 2009 8:25 pm UTC

This is possibly the most offensive thing I've ever heard out loud but here goes anyway. I'm not naming either student.

[Student 1 is collecting milk bottle caps as part of a charity scheme to get wheelchairs]

Student 1: So, I finished my poster for the Milk Bottle Cap drive

Student 2: "Milk caps for wheelchairs". That's not very catchy...

Student 1: Well, I was going to call it "Plastic for spastics" but that seems really out of order.

Student 2:...

Student 1: Let's never tell anyone about this.

Of course, I heard all of this. You should note, student 1 is a wonderful person (s/he was trying to do something for charity after all) just occasionally very inconsiderate.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Walter.Horvath » Wed Sep 02, 2009 9:54 pm UTC

Monika wrote:What does "non-CIS" mean?

And does this quote make more sense when I know this? :confused:

Not CIS

:)

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby The_Mandalore » Fri Sep 04, 2009 4:14 am UTC

My friend came up with the best reason marching band should be considerd a sport:

"If Marching Band isn't a sport, then why does your mom still F*** me?"



GO BAND!!

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby animeHrmIne » Fri Sep 04, 2009 5:08 am UTC

Walter.Horvath wrote:
Monika wrote:What does "non-CIS" mean?

And does this quote make more sense when I know this? :confused:

Not CIS

:)
Yeah, I'm reasonably certain that Monika was asking what CIS meant. Reasonably certain. =P

Also, I'd like to know, too. :D
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby brakos82 » Fri Sep 04, 2009 6:44 am UTC

We had a sub in U.S. History one time, and he said he went to Kent State. He asked the class where that was, so I simply said "Kent." (which happens to be a nearby town)

Now, if I could just remember the several hundred quotes from AP Calc last year... :|

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