Awesome Student Quotes

hintss · Postby **hintss** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 7:38 am UTC

Whelan wrote:
hintss wrote:also, we were outside at lunch, and were telling lame jokes, and i said:
"did you know gullible is written on the ceiling?"
It actually is in my Common room, and the school library.

I have it on the wall of my bedroom. I'm known as the type of person who would write it on the ceiling, so its fun tricking people like that.

The Scyphozoa · Postby **The Scyphozoa** » Sat Sep 25, 2010 3:22 am UTC

hintss wrote:
Whelan wrote:
hintss wrote:also, we were outside at lunch, and were telling lame jokes, and i said:
"did you know gullible is written on the ceiling?"
It actually is in my Common room, and the school library.

I have it on the wall of my bedroom. I'm known as the type of person who would write it on the ceiling, so its fun tricking people like that.

Oh so it is... aw, you stole my lungs.

Dason · Postby **Dason** » Sat Sep 25, 2010 1:18 pm UTC

hintss wrote:
Whelan wrote:
hintss wrote:also, we were outside at lunch, and were telling lame jokes, and i said:
"did you know gullible is written on the ceiling?"
It actually is in my Common room, and the school library.

I have it on the wall of my bedroom. I'm known as the type of person who would write it on the ceiling, so its fun tricking people like that.

"What's that? You're choking? I bet this is just you trying to trick me. You can't play me for a fool again! See you tomorrow!"

Carlington · Postby **Carlington** » Mon Sep 27, 2010 9:22 am UTC

The Scyphozoa wrote:
hintss wrote:
Whelan wrote:
hintss wrote:also, we were outside at lunch, and were telling lame jokes, and i said:
"did you know gullible is written on the ceiling?"
It actually is in my Common room, and the school library.

I have it on the wall of my bedroom. I'm known as the type of person who would write it on the ceiling, so its fun tricking people like that.

Oh so it is... aw, you stole my lungs.

Oh boy, I can't wait to eat this bagel!

Nicad · Postby **Nicad** » Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:55 am UTC

In my high school American History class:
Teacher: "Ok, I assume I don't have to tell you who the first president was."
Me: "Ralph Nader!"

Jahoclave · Postby **Jahoclave** » Fri Oct 01, 2010 4:11 am UTC

"Look, if you want to know what your grade is, look it up in the Oxford English Failtionary under 'F'"

hintss · Postby **hintss** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 2:48 am UTC

teacher lights bunsen burner
class is amazed
teacher remembers that we didn't have open flames in middle school

also, in my friends DV class, someone stole a video camera. while he was in line for his backpack to be searched,
"I stole it! *pulls out banana* wait, I put it back. never mind!"

That was also the day he brought a bunch of transformers, some claymation stuff and some other stuff. The teachers response was funny

Ostrich_Option · Postby **Ostrich_Option** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 3:45 am UTC

Our high school had one unique specimen of a student. His honorary nickname that he accepted wholeheartedly was "Big Hit." How he got this nickname is not well-suited to this thread.

Anyways, he is well-known for saying some great gems:

"My hands are like unicorns: sometimes they are there, sometimes they aren't."

In Advanced Chem he gets up from his desk during a slow part of class and starts to what looked like rowing with an invisible oar. Half-laughing our teacher asked Big Hit what he was doing. He replied "I'm rowing around the room." He kept doing this for another 5 minutes and proceeded to sit down and resume classwork.

I've never quite understood him.

manictheatrefan · Postby **manictheatrefan** » Wed Oct 06, 2010 10:49 pm UTC

In Social Studies class:

Spoiler:

masakatsu · Postby **masakatsu** » Wed Oct 13, 2010 6:26 pm UTC

After the first lecture of Graduate-Level Manageral Economics class:

"Wait a minute, you mean this economics stuff actually does make sense and isn't academic masturbation?"

The Scyphozoa · Postby **The Scyphozoa** » Thu Oct 14, 2010 11:44 pm UTC

"Where is nicotine on the periodic table?"

(This was right after a paper we had had told us the chemical formula for nicotine.)

TheChewanater · Postby **TheChewanater** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:01 am UTC

Teacher: That's right, your body produces lactic acid.
Student: So... what happens if you're lactose intolerant?

animeHrmIne · Postby **animeHrmIne** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 2:49 am UTC

The Scyphozoa wrote:"Where is nicotine on the periodic table?"

(This was right after a paper we had had told us the chemical formula for nicotine.)

Nicotine is on the periodic table, though. NiCoTiNe. Nickel, Cobalt, Titanium, Neon.

Sorry, I like spelling words on the periodic table. Like Unicorn, Uranium, nickle, cobalt, radon. =D

Macbi · Postby **Macbi** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 7:59 am UTC

And Chocolate!

Ouch.jars · Postby **Ouch.jars** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 1:41 pm UTC

Whelan wrote:
hintss wrote:also, we were outside at lunch, and were telling lame jokes, and i said:
"did you know gullible is written on the ceiling?"
It actually is in my Common room, and the school library.

It's also on the ceiling on one of the classrooms of the school I'm going to next year (I attended a transition day).

hintss · Postby **hintss** » Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:41 am UTC

someone decided that silver nitrate makes great temporary tattoos. The teacher's expression while he was staring at the girl while she had no idea he was watching was funny

etotheix · Postby **etotheix** » Mon Oct 18, 2010 6:06 am UTC

"So, uh, how do you enter a matrix in MATLAB?" -The night before a relatively large fluids homework was due.

If you've never used MATLAB, it's essentially a high level programming language that is very matrix-centric. Entering a matrix in MATLAB is literally the first thing you learn.

314man · Postby **314man** » Sat Oct 23, 2010 2:55 am UTC

In high school, about an hour after school in the halls (so almost empty).

Me: "Does anyone ever fall for distractions like 'Look over there! A distraction!'?"
Friend: (just mocking cause I'm in math) "Oh no! Someone is dividing by 0! Run!"
Random girl walking by: "Oh me yarm WHERE!!??"

Still can't believe that happened haha. Her reaction was so genuine

hintss · Postby **hintss** » Sat Oct 23, 2010 3:22 am UTC

My friend is in chemistry. there wasn't much to do. he pulls out his ukulele and starts playing the FUN song from spongebob, with the whole class singing

B.Good · Postby **B.Good** » Sat Oct 23, 2010 4:50 am UTC

Last year in calc 2 when we got our tests on arc length and polar coordinates back (I thought I did average at best on the test)
Me: -Gets test back and saw that I got a 91%- "HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!"
Yes, I actually yelled that in class.

the.coding.eye · Postby **the.coding.eye** » Fri Oct 29, 2010 5:47 pm UTC

(Teacher points to two points on the whiteboard talking about the Mean Value Therom in Calc 1)
Teacher: What type of line should I draw?
Me: A straight one?!

What can I say? It's not my fault Calc is at eight in the morning. Besides, it was a Monday.

Chuff · Postby **Chuff** » Sat Oct 30, 2010 6:18 am UTC

the.coding.eye wrote:(Teacher points to two points on the whiteboard talking about the Mean Value Therom in Calc 1)
Teacher: What type of line should I draw?
Me: A straight one?!

What can I say? It's not my fault Calc is at eight in the morning. Besides, it was a Monday.

I'm doing that right now too!

Completely different:

My Physics Teacher, Paraphrased wrote:Yeah, so I really recommend the Princeton Review AP Physics book. I mean, it's not the bible, but it's very good.
[pause]
Unlike the Bible, it's true.

He is openly Atheist, and very trusting that we'll keep our mouths shut. Also, he knows we know he's not serious, and pretty much the entire class is agnostic or atheist, anyways. But yeah, it was hilarious.

RLabs · Postby **RLabs** » Sun Oct 31, 2010 2:18 am UTC

My school has a bash.org-style page here, but here are some highlights:

// In AP Physics, while Raamin and Dr. Dell were arguing about something...
Dr. Dell: I bet mine is longer than yours
// He starts to unbuckle his belt
Students: !!!!!!!
Dr. Dell: Mine is 44 inches.
// He pulls out his belt and shows everyone

Spoiler:

Monika · Postby **Monika** » Sun Oct 31, 2010 9:57 am UTC

RLabs wrote:My school has a bash.org-style page here, but here are some highlights:
...
// From the late 90s, but classic nevertheless...
Mr. McFaden: *walking through a chattering class, very quietly* Sex.
Class: *keeps talking, does not notice*
Mr. McFaden: *still very quietly* Extra credit.
Class: *perks up* Did you say extra credit? What?
Mr. McFaden: From a biological standpoint, that's just WRONG.

...

We have seen that one in this thread before. Same school?

Also, your linky leads to a picture, not to a "bash.org-style page".

RLabs · Postby **RLabs** » Sun Oct 31, 2010 4:29 pm UTC

Fixed the link. Also that is pretty cool; we have a few xkcd comics posted around the syslab so I guess some of us post here?

hintss · Postby **hintss** » Mon Nov 01, 2010 7:37 am UTC

5 xkcd readers AFAIK. probably more

Meem1029 · Postby **Meem1029** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 12:36 am UTC

This one is actually from me, so I may think it's more awesome than it really is.

While arguing about whether statistics was good or not wrote:Friend: But statistics is actually easy and useful.
Me: Exactly, and that's why it shouldn't count as math!

I think my friend is going to be a bio major...

Also, another friend and I spent a while arguing about the Scrabble dictionary. She was trying to say it was wrong because it had words in it that she didn't think counted as being in the English language.

Monika · Postby **Monika** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 1:56 pm UTC

Meem1029 wrote:This one is actually from me, so I may think it's more awesome than it really is.
While arguing about whether statistics was good or not wrote:Friend: But statistics is actually easy and useful.
Me: Exactly, and that's why it shouldn't count as math!

I like it.

(I studied math (and computer science).)

joshz · Postby **joshz** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:43 pm UTC

Monika wrote:
Meem1029 wrote:This one is actually from me, so I may think it's more awesome than it really is.
While arguing about whether statistics was good or not wrote:Friend: But statistics is actually easy and useful.
Me: Exactly, and that's why it shouldn't count as math!

I like it.

(I studied math (and computer science).)

(And LISP?)

Monika · Postby **Monika** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 5:01 pm UTC

Scheme only. I hate it. And not because of the parentheses.

Internetmeme · Postby **Internetmeme** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:21 am UTC

To my Chem teacher this morning:

Student: No offense, and I tried to save you, but you died in my dream last night.

Monika · Postby **Monika** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 7:42 am UTC

And how did the teacher die in the dream?

Internetmeme · Postby **Internetmeme** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 10:20 pm UTC

I didn't ask, and didn't hear him. Most of the class at least chuckled, though.

Internetmeme · Postby **Internetmeme** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 4:56 am UTC

Quote O'The day:

Girl behind me- "I just don't understand why this period is so long!"
Girl across the room- "Ew!"

The girl behind me was referring to the length of classes.

chridd · Postby **chridd** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 5:02 am UTC

Internetmeme wrote:Girl behind me- "I just don't understand why this period is so long!"

I don't either__ I wonder if it's something about the font__

The Scyphozoa · Postby **The Scyphozoa** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:04 am UTC

"No, 9/11 did NOT cause the Civil War!"
(For non-Americans, these are the date September 11 2001 and the Civil war in the 1860's.)

hintss · Postby **hintss** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 5:56 am UTC

me: "HERESY!!" (after teacher introduced new concept)

B.Good · Postby **B.Good** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 7:08 am UTC

English Professor: How do you define a man?
Me: Someone who can kill a bear with his bare hands. Pun intended.

Same professor: A lot of the metal guys are seen as quite masculine, but Rob Halford of the band Judas Priest is actually a homosexual.
Me: He's so manly he is only attracted to other men.

I was mostly making fun at the discussion we were having because masculinity could mean so many things to so many people that it is ultimately pointless, which I think the professor caught onto pretty quickly.

ndkid · Postby **ndkid** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 10:44 pm UTC

In Band Class:
Band Teacher: "Ok, so it says here 'molto expressivo', does anyone know what that means?"
Student: "Isn't that a type of coffee?"

Odd_nonposter · Postby **Odd_nonposter** » Sun Nov 28, 2010 12:11 am UTC

My High school calc class consists entirely of four guys, three of which have known each other quite closely since 6th grade. Memes are abound.

Reviewing homework one day...
J: Yeah, I didn't get that derivative because... I just got scared and ran.
Me: I actually got that one. All you have to do is calm down and apply the chain rule.
G: Note the first part of that order.

"Dude, just calm down and apply the chain rule." is now a meme between us.

After an exceedingly frustrating lesson...
*G grimaces, balls up his fists, and begins pounding on his textbook.* [This kind of outburst is not exactly unusual between the four of us]
*Everyone turns their heads toward him nonchalantly*
G:*moans* It can hurt me, but I can't hurt it !

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