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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 7:38 am UTC
by hintss
Whelan wrote:
hintss wrote:also, we were outside at lunch, and were telling lame jokes, and i said:
"did you know gullible is written on the ceiling?"
It actually is in my Common room, and the school library.

I have it on the wall of my bedroom. I'm known as the type of person who would write it on the ceiling, so its fun tricking people like that.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2010 3:22 am UTC
by The Scyphozoa
hintss wrote:
Whelan wrote:
hintss wrote:also, we were outside at lunch, and were telling lame jokes, and i said:
"did you know gullible is written on the ceiling?"
It actually is in my Common room, and the school library.

I have it on the wall of my bedroom. I'm known as the type of person who would write it on the ceiling, so its fun tricking people like that.

Oh so it is... aw, you stole my lungs.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2010 1:18 pm UTC
by Dason
hintss wrote:
Whelan wrote:
hintss wrote:also, we were outside at lunch, and were telling lame jokes, and i said:
"did you know gullible is written on the ceiling?"
It actually is in my Common room, and the school library.

I have it on the wall of my bedroom. I'm known as the type of person who would write it on the ceiling, so its fun tricking people like that.

"What's that? You're choking? I bet this is just you trying to trick me. You can't play me for a fool again! See you tomorrow!"

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 9:22 am UTC
by Carlington
The Scyphozoa wrote:
hintss wrote:
Whelan wrote:
hintss wrote:also, we were outside at lunch, and were telling lame jokes, and i said:
"did you know gullible is written on the ceiling?"
It actually is in my Common room, and the school library.

I have it on the wall of my bedroom. I'm known as the type of person who would write it on the ceiling, so its fun tricking people like that.

Oh so it is... aw, you stole my lungs.

Oh boy, I can't wait to eat this bagel!

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:55 am UTC
by Nicad
In my high school American History class:
Teacher: "Ok, I assume I don't have to tell you who the first president was."
Me: "Ralph Nader!"

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 4:11 am UTC
by Jahoclave
"Look, if you want to know what your grade is, look it up in the Oxford English Failtionary under 'F'"

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 2:48 am UTC
by hintss
teacher lights bunsen burner
class is amazed
teacher remembers that we didn't have open flames in middle school

also, in my friends DV class, someone stole a video camera. while he was in line for his backpack to be searched,
"I stole it! *pulls out banana* wait, I put it back. never mind!"

That was also the day he brought a bunch of transformers, some claymation stuff and some other stuff. The teachers response was funny

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 3:45 am UTC
by Ostrich_Option
Our high school had one unique specimen of a student. His honorary nickname that he accepted wholeheartedly was "Big Hit." How he got this nickname is not well-suited to this thread.

Anyways, he is well-known for saying some great gems:

"My hands are like unicorns: sometimes they are there, sometimes they aren't."

In Advanced Chem he gets up from his desk during a slow part of class and starts to what looked like rowing with an invisible oar. Half-laughing our teacher asked Big Hit what he was doing. He replied "I'm rowing around the room." He kept doing this for another 5 minutes and proceeded to sit down and resume classwork.

I've never quite understood him.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 10:49 pm UTC
by manictheatrefan
In Social Studies class:
Spoiler:
Teacher: at one time, there were more troops fighting the Luddites than there were fighting Napoleon.
Student: Napoleon Dynamite?
(he wasn't being intentionally funny.)

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 6:26 pm UTC
by masakatsu
After the first lecture of Graduate-Level Manageral Economics class:

"Wait a minute, you mean this economics stuff actually does make sense and isn't academic masturbation?"

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 11:44 pm UTC
by The Scyphozoa
"Where is nicotine on the periodic table?"

(This was right after a paper we had had told us the chemical formula for nicotine.)

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:01 am UTC
by TheChewanater
Teacher: That's right, your body produces lactic acid.
Student: So... what happens if you're lactose intolerant?

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 2:49 am UTC
by animeHrmIne
The Scyphozoa wrote:"Where is nicotine on the periodic table?"

(This was right after a paper we had had told us the chemical formula for nicotine.)


Nicotine is on the periodic table, though. NiCoTiNe. Nickel, Cobalt, Titanium, Neon.

Sorry, I like spelling words on the periodic table. Like Unicorn, Uranium, nickle, cobalt, radon. =D

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 7:59 am UTC
by Macbi
And Chocolate!

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 1:41 pm UTC
by Ouch.jars
Whelan wrote:
hintss wrote:also, we were outside at lunch, and were telling lame jokes, and i said:
"did you know gullible is written on the ceiling?"
It actually is in my Common room, and the school library.

It's also on the ceiling on one of the classrooms of the school I'm going to next year (I attended a transition day).

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:41 am UTC
by hintss
someone decided that silver nitrate makes great temporary tattoos. The teacher's expression while he was staring at the girl while she had no idea he was watching was funny

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 6:06 am UTC
by etotheix
"So, uh, how do you enter a matrix in MATLAB?" -The night before a relatively large fluids homework was due.

If you've never used MATLAB, it's essentially a high level programming language that is very matrix-centric. Entering a matrix in MATLAB is literally the first thing you learn.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 2:55 am UTC
by 314man
In high school, about an hour after school in the halls (so almost empty).

Me: "Does anyone ever fall for distractions like 'Look over there! A distraction!'?"
Friend: (just mocking cause I'm in math) "Oh no! Someone is dividing by 0! Run!"
Random girl walking by: "Oh me yarm WHERE!!??"

Still can't believe that happened haha. Her reaction was so genuine

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 3:22 am UTC
by hintss
My friend is in chemistry. there wasn't much to do. he pulls out his ukulele and starts playing the FUN song from spongebob, with the whole class singing

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 4:50 am UTC
by B.Good
Last year in calc 2 when we got our tests on arc length and polar coordinates back (I thought I did average at best on the test)
Me: -Gets test back and saw that I got a 91%- "HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!"
Yes, I actually yelled that in class.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 5:47 pm UTC
by the.coding.eye
(Teacher points to two points on the whiteboard talking about the Mean Value Therom in Calc 1)
Teacher: What type of line should I draw?
Me: A straight one?!

What can I say? It's not my fault Calc is at eight in the morning. Besides, it was a Monday.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sat Oct 30, 2010 6:18 am UTC
by Chuff
the.coding.eye wrote:(Teacher points to two points on the whiteboard talking about the Mean Value Therom in Calc 1)
Teacher: What type of line should I draw?
Me: A straight one?!

What can I say? It's not my fault Calc is at eight in the morning. Besides, it was a Monday.

I'm doing that right now too!


Completely different:
My Physics Teacher, Paraphrased wrote:Yeah, so I really recommend the Princeton Review AP Physics book. I mean, it's not the bible, but it's very good.
[pause]
Unlike the Bible, it's true.

He is openly Atheist, and very trusting that we'll keep our mouths shut. Also, he knows we know he's not serious, and pretty much the entire class is agnostic or atheist, anyways. But yeah, it was hilarious.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sun Oct 31, 2010 2:18 am UTC
by RLabs
My school has a bash.org-style page here, but here are some highlights:

// In AP Physics, while Raamin and Dr. Dell were arguing about something...
Dr. Dell: I bet mine is longer than yours
// He starts to unbuckle his belt
Students: !!!!!!!
Dr. Dell: Mine is 44 inches.
// He pulls out his belt and shows everyone

Spoiler:
// In physics class
Lawrence: Why do we use epsilon? K is so much better!
Dr. Dell: Take it back! Repeat after me: "epsilon naught is good, K is bad!"
Lawrence: No!
Dr. Dell: *Gets out some drill thing* I got this from Japan. It's a disciplinary device. You can't get it here 'cause it's illegal. *Puts it against a piece of paper, the paper lights on fire.*
Dr. Dell: SAY IT!! EPSILON NAUGHT IS GOOD!! K IS BAD!!


// From the late 90s, but classic nevertheless...
Mr. McFaden: *walking through a chattering class, very quietly* Sex.
Class: *keeps talking, does not notice*
Mr. McFaden: *still very quietly* Extra credit.
Class: *perks up* Did you say extra credit? What?
Mr. McFaden: From a biological standpoint, that's just WRONG.


// During AP Physics lecture
Students: What's that piece of rope dangling from the ceiling?
Dr. Dell: It's a noose.
Students: What's it for?
Dr. Dell: Actually, it's really cool, but I can only show you once.


Student: Dr. Glazer--
Dr. Glazer: I lost twenty dollars and my self respect!

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sun Oct 31, 2010 9:57 am UTC
by Monika
RLabs wrote:My school has a bash.org-style page here, but here are some highlights:
...
// From the late 90s, but classic nevertheless...
Mr. McFaden: *walking through a chattering class, very quietly* Sex.
Class: *keeps talking, does not notice*
Mr. McFaden: *still very quietly* Extra credit.
Class: *perks up* Did you say extra credit? What?
Mr. McFaden: From a biological standpoint, that's just WRONG.

...

We have seen that one in this thread before. Same school?

Also, your linky leads to a picture, not to a "bash.org-style page".

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sun Oct 31, 2010 4:29 pm UTC
by RLabs
Fixed the link. Also that is pretty cool; we have a few xkcd comics posted around the syslab so I guess some of us post here?

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 7:37 am UTC
by hintss
5 xkcd readers AFAIK. probably more

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2010 12:36 am UTC
by Meem1029
This one is actually from me, so I may think it's more awesome than it really is.


While arguing about whether statistics was good or not wrote:Friend: But statistics is actually easy and useful.
Me: Exactly, and that's why it shouldn't count as math!


I think my friend is going to be a bio major...

Also, another friend and I spent a while arguing about the Scrabble dictionary. She was trying to say it was wrong because it had words in it that she didn't think counted as being in the English language.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2010 1:56 pm UTC
by Monika
Meem1029 wrote:This one is actually from me, so I may think it's more awesome than it really is.
While arguing about whether statistics was good or not wrote:Friend: But statistics is actually easy and useful.
Me: Exactly, and that's why it shouldn't count as math!

I like it. :D

(I studied math (and computer science).)

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:43 pm UTC
by joshz
Monika wrote:
Meem1029 wrote:This one is actually from me, so I may think it's more awesome than it really is.
While arguing about whether statistics was good or not wrote:Friend: But statistics is actually easy and useful.
Me: Exactly, and that's why it shouldn't count as math!

I like it. :D

(I studied math (and computer science).)
(And LISP?)

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2010 5:01 pm UTC
by Monika
Scheme only. I hate it. And not because of the parentheses.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:21 am UTC
by Internetmeme
To my Chem teacher this morning:

Student: No offense, and I tried to save you, but you died in my dream last night.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 7:42 am UTC
by Monika
:lol:

And how did the teacher die in the dream?

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 10:20 pm UTC
by Internetmeme
I didn't ask, and didn't hear him. Most of the class at least chuckled, though.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 4:56 am UTC
by Internetmeme
Quote O'The day:

Girl behind me- "I just don't understand why this period is so long!"
Girl across the room- "Ew!"

The girl behind me was referring to the length of classes.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 5:02 am UTC
by chridd
Internetmeme wrote:Girl behind me- "I just don't understand why this period is so long!"
I don't either__ I wonder if it's something about the font__

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:04 am UTC
by The Scyphozoa
"No, 9/11 did NOT cause the Civil War!"
(For non-Americans, these are the date September 11 2001 and the Civil war in the 1860's.)

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 5:56 am UTC
by hintss
me: "HERESY!!" (after teacher introduced new concept)

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 7:08 am UTC
by B.Good
English Professor: How do you define a man?
Me: Someone who can kill a bear with his bare hands. Pun intended.

Same professor: A lot of the metal guys are seen as quite masculine, but Rob Halford of the band Judas Priest is actually a homosexual.
Me: He's so manly he is only attracted to other men.

I was mostly making fun at the discussion we were having because masculinity could mean so many things to so many people that it is ultimately pointless, which I think the professor caught onto pretty quickly.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 10:44 pm UTC
by ndkid
In Band Class:
Band Teacher: "Ok, so it says here 'molto expressivo', does anyone know what that means?"
Student: "Isn't that a type of coffee?"

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sun Nov 28, 2010 12:11 am UTC
by Odd_nonposter
My High school calc class consists entirely of four guys, three of which have known each other quite closely since 6th grade. Memes are abound.

Reviewing homework one day...
J: Yeah, I didn't get that derivative because... I just got scared and ran.
Me: I actually got that one. All you have to do is calm down and apply the chain rule.
G: Note the first part of that order.

"Dude, just calm down and apply the chain rule." is now a meme between us. :D

After an exceedingly frustrating lesson...
*G grimaces, balls up his fists, and begins pounding on his textbook.* [This kind of outburst is not exactly unusual between the four of us]
*Everyone turns their heads toward him nonchalantly*
G:*moans* It can hurt me, but I can't hurt it !