BULLIES ;_;

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Thrice Great
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BULLIES ;_;

Postby Thrice Great » Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:54 am UTC

If you've been bullied in the past, feel free to share your story here.
Last edited by Thrice Great on Tue Jan 27, 2009 3:25 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Sungura
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Sungura » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:26 pm UTC

1) Ignore them. Bullies bully because of the reaction they get.
2) Make fun of yourself. Seriously. It freaks them out and they'll leave you alone. I don't know what mmmbop is so I shall give this example:
Bully: "hahaha you have a huge nose!"
Person being picked on: "haha yeah I totally know that. But you know what? It makes it really easy to smell that there is cake being served in the cafeteria today. *big idiotic grin goes here*"
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby TheKrikkitWars » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:58 pm UTC

Repeatedly do the Hammertime routine, every time they make a jibe, they'll soon become scared of you for reasons not fully understood.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby syckls » Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:54 pm UTC

Sungura wrote:Make fun of yourself. Seriously. It freaks them out...

TheKrikkitWars wrote:Repeatedly do the Hammertime routine, every time they make a jibe, they'll soon become scared of you for reasons not fully understood.

You must have some pussy bullies. As far as I know, such tactics would not only fail to stop the bullying, but irritate other people who would then be more likely to join in.

My advice? IGNORE THEM IGNORE THEM IGNORE THEM. Any time you acknowledge what they do or say, you admit that you are worthless. If you don't believe it already, you have to at least pretend that they are trash, that you are better than them and that they are not worth your thoughts. You may be seen as arrogant for using this tactic, but this is infinitely better than being seen as a target. After 2+ years of torment in middle school, this is what finally allowed me to feel good about myself and escape the bullying for good.

Alternatively, you might try making fun of the bullies, but only if you are supremely confident in your comedic skill. This tactic can very easily backfire and leave you much worse off.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Allenr » Fri Jan 23, 2009 5:06 pm UTC

The last time a bully messed with me was in 6th grade. After school he was harrasing me, so I walked across the street, he followed and I tackled him into the sidewalk. Then calmly walked back onto school property.

Never got any crap from him again.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Lunawarrior0 » Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:46 pm UTC

I have one phrase that will cover pretty much anyone who is trying to pick on you, as long as they aren't beating you up: Don't feed the trolls.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby BlackSails » Fri Jan 23, 2009 10:11 pm UTC

I have one phrase that will cover pretty much anyone who is trying to pick on you, as long as they aren't beating you up: Don't feed the trolls.


I have one that will work when they are beating you up.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby TaintedDeity » Sat Jan 24, 2009 6:22 pm UTC

Seriously, ignore the fuck out of them. They want a reaction, don;t give them a reaction. They walk off because they are bored.
Quite coincidentally me and some friends were followed around town today for about 10 minutes, while they were shouting insults at all of us.
We didn't shout back, didn't respond and didn't even make eye contact. We sat on a bench, they sat nearby for about 5 minutes silently and then left.

The only time you should even acknowledge their existence is if they become physical with you and then only respond enough to get them off you or to get away.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Generic Protoplasm » Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:09 pm UTC

I have my own way to deal with those people, even though there aren't many left.

I fire back something awkward sounding and sexually suggestive and they are usually too stupified to say anything back.

For instance (actually happened):
I make some joking gesture to beat some kid up, completely light-hearted.
Kid: "Touch me and I'll drill you in the fucking face."
Me: "Sounds sexy." *turns around mid-stride and points at him, thumbs up, winking*

The kid just stopped right there.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby kaniman2 » Sun Jan 25, 2009 1:11 am UTC

I don't think I've ran into any REAL bullies before. I've always been able to (eventually) see the better sides of people who act like assholes at me. Me and my (lack-of) anger management have done some really mean stuff though. Like this time when I got really pissed off at a friend who was really pissed off at me for a few weeks, and then I hit his head with a guitar. I apologized though, even though it was his fault. Sorry.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby questioningmrow » Sun Jan 25, 2009 8:45 am UTC

kaniman2 wrote:I don't think I've ran into any REAL bullies before. I've always been able to (eventually) see the better sides of people who act like assholes at me. Me and my (lack-of) anger management have done some really mean stuff though. Like this time when I got really pissed off at a friend who was really pissed off at me for a few weeks, and then I hit his head with a guitar. I apologized though, even though it was his fault. Sorry.


The way you get rid of, and stop bullies is to remind them of someone who is stronger, and tougher than a bully. Thusly, they eventually stop their ways of bullying.

Basically, you need a bully of bullies.

In my case, that became me, because I got tired of being bullied and learned how to rip bastards a new one when they started shit. Hatred does wonders for your will.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Pa-Patch » Sun Jan 25, 2009 9:17 am UTC

I wouldn't even call that bullying if that's the typical case of what you're complaining about. That's just one guy making fun of you once in a while. I suppose that could be annoying, but it's far from bullying. Just tell the guy he's dumb and annoying you and move on.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby TaintedDeity » Sun Jan 25, 2009 12:00 pm UTC

questioningmrow wrote:
kaniman2 wrote:I don't think I've ran into any REAL bullies before. I've always been able to (eventually) see the better sides of people who act like assholes at me. Me and my (lack-of) anger management have done some really mean stuff though. Like this time when I got really pissed off at a friend who was really pissed off at me for a few weeks, and then I hit his head with a guitar. I apologized though, even though it was his fault. Sorry.


The way you get rid of, and stop bullies is to remind them of someone who is stronger, and tougher than a bully.

Then you end up with an arm's race.
He'll be trying to out do you and so weapons will get involved, whole groups of friends will be brought along and then you end up in hospital or dead.
There's always somebody tougher than you, and there's no way of knowing if the guy you just punched knows them.

Nip it in the bud, don;t even react.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Sungura » Sun Jan 25, 2009 11:59 pm UTC

Here is a tip:
No one gets injured in 100% of fights that do not occur.

Just something to keep in mind. Keeping control of yourself will help you keep control of the situation.
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questioningmrow
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby questioningmrow » Mon Jan 26, 2009 12:04 am UTC

Hm, yeah, actually, don't listen to my advice, though, I'll be honest, when I was young, it was easy to beat the bullies down psychologically as well as physically. I somehow manipulated them all to think I was stronger, and they'd never get better. Bah, who knows. I'm not even scary looking.

It's difficult to say what can actually stop a bully, because even passiveness might not work. I know plenty bullies who'd jeer on one of my friends, even though they ignored them.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby mark999 » Mon Jan 26, 2009 12:42 am UTC

If ignoring a bully works, then great, but I found that it often didn't work.

I think using humour (especially self-deprecating, as Sungura suggested) can be good.

I think it's important to stand up to bullies, not necessarily by fighting, but verbally at least.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Sungura » Mon Jan 26, 2009 12:44 am UTC

A bully wants to get you off-balance, whether that mean physically by picking a fight, or mentally by saying things nasty about you. If you keep your own composure, keep control of yourself, they'll move on to someone easier to mess with.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby raike » Mon Jan 26, 2009 2:18 am UTC

Deterrence is key; demonstrate that you are dangerous in some way.
For instance, I "h4x0rd that d00ds computers!" after he tried to get under my skin. Also, I was on the fencing team (we were all wierdos and mostly dangerous).
Although, my perpetual calm monotone responses to everything directed at me could be enough of a deterrence (no reaction beyond insulting insinuations).
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby BlackSails » Mon Jan 26, 2009 2:22 am UTC

Calmness and composure will not stop a right hook.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Gears » Mon Jan 26, 2009 3:31 am UTC

Be confident, ignore them. If ignoring them doesn't work, surround yourself with friends. I've never been bullied, up until a few weeks ago. I punched him in the mouth and it stopped right there.

EDIT: To be fair he called my girlfriend a whore.
Last edited by Gears on Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:03 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby blackrose » Mon Jan 26, 2009 5:58 am UTC

We could always try the Ender Wiggin approach to bullies. It worked in the novel.

/sarcasm
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby mollusk » Thu Jan 29, 2009 3:22 am UTC

blackrose wrote:We could always try the Ender Wiggin approach to bullies. It worked in the novel.

/sarcasm


Beating people to death seems like more work than ignoring them.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Saurus33 » Thu Jan 29, 2009 6:46 am UTC

Yes, but it's more fun.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Angelic Hellraiser » Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:52 pm UTC

That, and it prevents future bullying.

However, I wouldn't suggest it. He got off because the IF wanted him. You could get brought in for murder.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Mr. Freeman » Thu Jan 29, 2009 8:28 pm UTC

I don't know how anyone here ever had success by ignoring bullies. I was bullied for awhile. My advice, (I wish that I had done this earlier), provoke them into throwing a punch and then take them down. (Kick them in the balls if they're bigger than you and you can't take them down through force alone).

NOTE: By "provoke" I don't mean try to start a fight. If they call you an asshole then just shout back "go fuck yourself". After a couple comments, they'll either go away or get aggravated to the point that they'll use violence.

Ignoring them doesn't stop them from taking your stuff, trying to trip you, spreading rumors, etc. However, knock them on their ass and you'll never have to deal with them again.

Just make sure that your parents are behind you on this one. The bully's parents are going to try the whole "No, it must have been the OTHER child, not our sweet billy/joey/cletus, I won't allow you to suspend him for trying to punch another kid". Your parents are going to have to make sure that you don't get in trouble for defending yourself. Schools are notorious for failing to properly deal with bullies and physical fights. The administration wants everything to just go away without any disciplinary action so that it doesn't get reported on the "school report card" and make their school look bad.

If the school refuses to punish the bully, then go to the police and request a restraining order.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby SWGlassPit » Thu Jan 29, 2009 10:07 pm UTC

If they throw a punch and you can't take them down, remember that a threat of violence constitutes simple assault and them actually striking you constitutes battery, both criminal and tort offences.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby BlackSails » Thu Jan 29, 2009 11:12 pm UTC

Also, once you shoulder throw one bully, the others are not going to bother you.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Krakatoa » Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:07 am UTC

I've been on both ends of the stick here, and honestly, there isn't a great deal you can do. Ignoring a bully will not help. Making fun of yourself will not help. Just prove to them that you aren't on a socially and mentally lower level than them - even by using means only identifiable by an extremely smart person, it will still work because of that lovely thing called the subconscious.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby HarleyQuinn » Fri Jan 30, 2009 7:10 am UTC

I've never really been harassed. Any time someone starts bugging me because I annoyed their friend of a friend (and that's always how you take care of that, get all your friends to gang up on the person -_-) I simply agree with any insults they give, then spin it back at them and load everything with sarcasm. Trolls get bored easily.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Ben_ » Fri Jan 30, 2009 7:21 am UTC

Angelic Hellraiser wrote:That, and it prevents future bullying.

However, I wouldn't suggest it. He got off because the IF wanted him. You could get brought in for murder.


So once an alien race decides to laser the Great Wall, all the smart kids can start beating the shit out of the less intelligent bullies?
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby devilsgunner » Fri Jan 30, 2009 7:51 am UTC

I was bullied by one guy for approximately 4 years, every day he would verbally abuse me, and every day I ignored him. It simply didn't work, he continued to abuse me every day, often with a bunch of his mates who would stand there and laugh along with him.

One day I snapped and beat the fucking shit out of him. After explaining the whole situation to various people, he was suspended from school for a week and I was forced to go to counseling for a few months. The counseling made me realize that if you want bullying to stop, you need to tell someone that you're being bullied. Ignoring it clearly didn't work, infact his insults got progressively worse over the 4 year period.

The most important thing is that you shouldn't snap like I did, I could've been done on some serious assault charges.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby TauCeti » Fri Jan 30, 2009 8:38 pm UTC

Throughout pre-college, I was (one of) the guy(s) who got picked on. In fourth grade I got beat up under a desk (the substitute stepped out of the room for a minute). My parents were aware, and did what they could to help, but each case involved a seriously corrupt teacher. (In one case, she hated me because I was smarter than her, in another she was the mother of the bully, and in several cases it was a substitute who just didn't care). I would ignore bullies, laugh at myself, throw insults, or really anything else. Nothing worked. The problem was simple: I was too passive. Everyone knew that I would /never/ do anything to hurt them. Heck, I saved /spiders/ by bringing them outside, instead of letting someone step on them.

One day one of the bullies decided that verbally (and to a lesser degree, physically) assaulting me over my desk would be fun. My memory of what happened after that is hazy, although it involved the color red and my hands hurting. I didn't have skill, but I proved that I /would/ do /anything/ to hurt /anyone/ who bullied me. After that, they stopped. The substitute that day decided that not writing up either of us took less effort than writing us both up.

My parents were pissed that we didn't get both written up, and proud that I had finally stood up for myself.

Personally, that crack in my personality is still there. I still save spiders. And now I just avoid any situation where I may end up interacting with a bully (being an adult makes this easier). I don't want things to get out of hand, I certainly don't want to kill a bully in blind rage, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life hating myself for doing it.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Angelic Hellraiser » Sat Jan 31, 2009 11:31 pm UTC

Ben_ wrote:
Angelic Hellraiser wrote:That, and it prevents future bullying.

However, I wouldn't suggest it. He got off because the IF wanted him. You could get brought in for murder.


So once an alien race decides to laser the Great Wall, all the smart kids can start beating the shit out of the less intelligent bullies?


No. Ender had different circumstances than almost eveyone else ever will.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Ralith The Third » Sun Feb 01, 2009 5:11 am UTC

BlackSails wrote:
I have one phrase that will cover pretty much anyone who is trying to pick on you, as long as they aren't beating you up: Don't feed the trolls.


I have one that will work when they are beating you up.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Hit3k » Sun Feb 01, 2009 10:26 am UTC

Going to a christian school I never had any real bullies. The only bullying I experienced was when I came out of the closet so to speak about being an atheist and then it was only verbal abuse(To which I'd reply: Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words will hurt forever.) and people harassing me with prayers and asking "Why [name], why?!". But as everyone else said the best way to stop bullies is to ignore them.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Mysidic » Mon Feb 02, 2009 1:37 am UTC

I'd at least try ignoring them at first. The ones that want a quick laugh will go away, but most of my bullies were more determined to harass me. I think the worse thing is the feeling of helplessness of what to do about it, especially if your teachers won't help. Too often this is the case, I've had problems at almost all of the schools I've attended.

I don't advocate fighting if you can help it, you're going to get hurt and everyone involved will just be given a suspension rather than resolving the problem. I was too pacific and weak to really stand up to them, but I like the sarcasm and "agree with all insults" idea.

Don't let them break you down.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Gears » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:25 am UTC

The only way I have found to get rid of bullies is to make them respect you. Making fun of yourself is just going to give them more ammo. Don't degrade yourself to protect yourself.
General_Norris wrote:I notice a lack of counter-arguments and a lot of fisting.

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BlackSails
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby BlackSails » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:26 am UTC

Ralith The Third wrote:Are you sure? I think it's a wazari :P


Maybe if he manages to land on his front rather than his back....

Silly olympic judo rules.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Rakysh » Thu Feb 05, 2009 3:18 pm UTC

Bully at school wants me to hit him (I'm a pacifist). Managed not to for a year and a half, and then actually tried to make friends with him. It's kinda working, though I still get a bit of grief from him.

Also got bullied in year 6- I got into a good secondary school, this other kid didn't. He spread rumours, I just waited it out.

There's usually a solution, but it really depends on the person/s involved.

solitarysock
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby solitarysock » Tue Feb 10, 2009 10:40 pm UTC

Ignoring them never works, I always did. Also, how are you supposed to ignore a group of people who is scattering your stuff on the floor?
Unfortunately, I never knew who they were... they weren't in my class and I have really bad face-recognition, so I wouldn't even have been able to point out who it was. It only stopped around 10th grade, when people were 16-17 and cared more for other stuff, so they left me alone.

So, I don't know how to deal with bullies... except maybe for trying to do something that will give you more self-confidence, so you're able to take their attacks less personally. (Getting some friends might have worked, too, except that I didn't know how to do that)


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