What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

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What-if 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby Eutychus » Tue Jul 23, 2013 2:20 pm UTC

Here at last it is.

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What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby higgs-boson » Tue Jul 23, 2013 2:21 pm UTC

What-If 0055:
If you call a random phone number and say “God bless you”, what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed? On average, not just in spring or fall.

–Mimi

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby Klear » Tue Jul 23, 2013 2:35 pm UTC

You were 1 minute slower than the other thread, but it's much nicer so I'm posting here.

I was wondering, how many of you have sneezed while reading the article?

Also, I have a feeling that somebody who just murdered someone is quite unlikely to pick up their phone.

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby CharlieP » Tue Jul 23, 2013 2:40 pm UTC

higgs-boson wrote:What-If 0055:
If you call a random phone number and say “God bless you”, what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed? On average, not just in spring or fall.


Exactly the same as if you didn't say "God bless you".
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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby higgs-boson » Tue Jul 23, 2013 2:45 pm UTC

Klear wrote:Also, I have a feeling that somebody who just murdered someone is quite unlikely to pick up their phone.


Depends.
  • your own ground and it is your landline. Could be your pregnant wife. Get the phone.
  • as above, but your mobile: Still get the phone.
  • as above, but the victim's mobile: Ehr... Uh-oh, even without GPS tracking this connects the victim's whereabouts to YOUR HOUSE. Better think quickly. Get out.
  • the victim's landline, therefore you were murdering in the victim's own house: Do not touch, you already left enough prints. Get out.
  • the victim's mobile: Lucky you, the caller doesn't know the victim is supposed to be at home. Get something of value, then get lost. Don't touch the phone.
  • your mobile, but you were busy in the victim's house: You lost. Since you are having a smart phone with GPS tracking you are placed in the victim's domain. Get a lawyer.

Two out of six. "I know what you did." seems a bit more safer now. :)
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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby Klear » Tue Jul 23, 2013 2:51 pm UTC

I think if I just murdered someone, I would have other worries than a pregnant wife. Additionally, after a murder you're likely to be nervous and paranoid, neither is a good state to be talking with anybody.

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Postby dbam987 » Tue Jul 23, 2013 2:52 pm UTC

Chances of sneezing just before someone calls me via Skype and says "God Bless You!" while I'm sitting on the toilet browsing XKCD comics is about practically 99.5%.

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby mathmannix » Tue Jul 23, 2013 2:54 pm UTC

I myself have never murdered someone in my own house while my wife was pregnant.
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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby KeonSkyfire » Tue Jul 23, 2013 3:20 pm UTC

Let me be the first to state that I sneezed just 20 seconds before I opened this What if for the first time. I was amused.

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby speising » Tue Jul 23, 2013 5:19 pm UTC

higgs-boson wrote:[*]your mobile, but you were busy in the victim's house: You lost. Since you are having a smart phone with GPS tracking you are placed in the victim's domain. Get a lawyer.[/list]


have we seen too much crime tv? gps tracking is a feature you may use to track your movement, but the police won't see the tracks unless they search your phone's files.
i'm always amazed when they babble on tv about gps, when cell tower triangulation would do the trick just as well and is technically feasible.

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby higgs-boson » Tue Jul 23, 2013 5:34 pm UTC

speising wrote:
higgs-boson wrote:[*]your mobile, but you were busy in the victim's house: You lost. Since you are having a smart phone with GPS tracking you are placed in the victim's domain. Get a lawyer.[/list]


have we seen too much crime tv? gps tracking is a feature you may use to track your movement, but the police won't see the tracks unless they search your phone's files.
i'm always amazed when they babble on tv about gps, when cell tower triangulation would do the trick just as well and is technically feasible.


A lot of people have at least one app with GPS functionality active (OK, some may need the battery power, so the GPS apps may be off until needed), and the phone may answer the investigation team's question "Where have you been yesterday evening between nine and nine thirty?" annoyingly accurate.

And with all these new funny buzzwords like PRISM, TEMPORA, WHATEVER around, I am unsure if I would believe any intelligence officer who states "We cannot track your phone.". Agreed: This may be done with the mentioned cell tower triangulation. Long story short: You may be right. ]:o)

It seems better not to murder anyone.OR


ORYou may leave your cell phone somewere else. With is already a wise move even if you plan just to attend any (legal) protest march. At least the local Police here has picked up some bad TV behaviour.
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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby mishka » Tue Jul 23, 2013 6:27 pm UTC

Wait... if you call a person just as they're calling you... would the phone system be able to handle that???

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby Carlington » Tue Jul 23, 2013 6:50 pm UTC

Having had it happen (we were both equally quick on the redial button after a call dropped) - it behaves just the same as it would if both callers called a busy number independent of each other.
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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby ashnur » Tue Jul 23, 2013 7:50 pm UTC

mishka wrote:Wait... if you call a person just as they're calling you... would the phone system be able to handle that???


In my country, if you call someone who is also calling you, both of you using mobile phones, the system will just connect you instantly. Not even ringing or anything. Happened to me many times because my phone sometimes disconnects, so I have to call again - and the person on other end never knows what happened, so they are also calling me back...

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby Klear » Tue Jul 23, 2013 10:28 pm UTC

higgs-boson wrote:
speising wrote:
higgs-boson wrote:[*]your mobile, but you were busy in the victim's house: You lost. Since you are having a smart phone with GPS tracking you are placed in the victim's domain. Get a lawyer.[/list]


have we seen too much crime tv? gps tracking is a feature you may use to track your movement, but the police won't see the tracks unless they search your phone's files.
i'm always amazed when they babble on tv about gps, when cell tower triangulation would do the trick just as well and is technically feasible.


A lot of people have at least one app with GPS functionality active (OK, some may need the battery power, so the GPS apps may be off until needed), and the phone may answer the investigation team's question "Where have you been yesterday evening between nine and nine thirty?" annoyingly accurate.

And with all these new funny buzzwords like PRISM, TEMPORA, WHATEVER around, I am unsure if I would believe any intelligence officer who states "We cannot track your phone.". Agreed: This may be done with the mentioned cell tower triangulation. Long story short: You may be right. ]:o)

It seems better not to murder anyone.OR


ORYou may leave your cell phone somewere else. With is already a wise move even if you plan just to attend any (legal) protest march. At least the local Police here has picked up some bad TV behaviour.


I'm skeptical to the notion that most of murderers own a smartphone. I might be wrong, but it doesn't sound likely.

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby AJR » Wed Jul 24, 2013 12:27 am UTC

The big unanswered question arising from this What-if is: if 58 hours is equal to 490 Hey Judes, how many Na, na na, na-na-na naas is that?

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby mivlad » Wed Jul 24, 2013 3:48 am UTC

ashnur wrote:In my country, if you call someone who is also calling you, both of you using mobile phones, the system will just connect you instantly.

Wow. Who gets charged in this case?

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby limeylassen » Wed Jul 24, 2013 6:33 am UTC

This doesn't account for photic sneezing does it? When I'm in the sunlight I sneeze a couple times an hour.

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby Kethryes » Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:51 am UTC

mivlad wrote:
ashnur wrote:In my country, if you call someone who is also calling you, both of you using mobile phones, the system will just connect you instantly.

Wow. Who gets charged in this case?


Well I don't know which country he talked about, but in the US/Canada both caller and callee pay, so that solves the problem. (Well actually it depends on your cell phone plan... so it could be complicated...)
But in the case where only the caller pays that's a good question (And probably, that's not working: both will recieve a busy tone and not connect. Or the fastest to call pays. Conclusion: be slow :lol: )

Edit: almost forgot: God bless you
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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby rhialto » Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:46 am UTC

And what is the chance that the person you call is a violent anti-theist who is now going to kill you?

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby rmsgrey » Wed Jul 24, 2013 12:17 pm UTC

Some pairs of numbers have unlimited free calls in both directions, which would also obviate the dilemma of who called whom.

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby screen317 » Wed Jul 24, 2013 6:30 pm UTC

Mother fucking A-- Just as I was about to click on this topic, someone in the lab next to me sneezed.

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby bmonk » Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:39 pm UTC

screen317 wrote:Mother fucking A-- Just as I was about to click on this topic, someone in the lab next to me sneezed.

I hope you called him up and said, "God bless you!"
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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby Klear » Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:57 pm UTC

I've started saying "bless you" first thing when I'm calling anyone. So far no luck.

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby Carlington » Thu Jul 25, 2013 8:50 am UTC

Actually - one time I sneezed in class, and promptly received a text message from my friend in a class in the next building over, which read "Bless you". I think that's a function of my ridiculously loud sneezing, though.
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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby CharlieP » Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:07 pm UTC

Carlington wrote:Actually - one time I sneezed in class, and promptly received a text message from my friend in a class in the next building over, which read "Bless you". I think that's a function of my ridiculously loud sneezing, though.


I think it could be a function of that combined with one or more of their devoutness/superstition/passive-aggressiveness.
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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby Eshru » Thu Jul 25, 2013 7:11 pm UTC

KeonSkyfire wrote:Let me be the first to state that I sneezed just 20 seconds before I opened this What if for the first time. I was amused.

Get out of my... nose? Randall!

I sneezed while reading the wednesday comic, then opened the what-if. Needless to say I was caught off guard.

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby stickler » Thu Jul 25, 2013 9:09 pm UTC

It might just be a British thing, but I have never heard anyone say "God bless you" after a sneeze, only "Bless you". Is it just me, or is America more Godly?

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby Klear » Thu Jul 25, 2013 10:12 pm UTC

stickler wrote:It might just be a British thing, but I have never heard anyone say "God bless you" after a sneeze, only "Bless you". Is it just me, or is America more Godly?


Wouldn't surprise me. They proclaim their faith in God even on their money...

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby rmsgrey » Thu Jul 25, 2013 11:23 pm UTC

stickler wrote:It might just be a British thing, but I have never heard anyone say "God bless you" after a sneeze, only "Bless you". Is it just me, or is America more Godly?


Might just be that we Brits take it as read who we're calling on to do the blessing, while the Americans feel the need to specify.

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby 123man » Fri Jul 26, 2013 1:02 am UTC

limeylassen wrote:This doesn't account for photic sneezing does it? When I'm in the sunlight I sneeze a couple times an hour.

Dammit! I was hoping to be the first to bring this up! :)

Because of my photic sneeze reflex, I probably sneeze 6-8 times per day. I work in a windowless area and so each time I walk outside after being inside for a couple of hours, I sneeze twice. So that happens at least a couple times per day.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photic_sneeze_reflex
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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby DanD » Fri Jul 26, 2013 2:31 pm UTC

Klear wrote:
stickler wrote:It might just be a British thing, but I have never heard anyone say "God bless you" after a sneeze, only "Bless you". Is it just me, or is America more Godly?


Wouldn't surprise me. They proclaim their faith in God even on their money...


But not in our national anthem or in the official title of our head of state. So, I'd say honors are about even. (Okay, so technically it shows up one time in the fourth verse, which no one knows anyway)

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby jjcote » Sat Jul 27, 2013 12:17 am UTC

But not in our national anthem


From Verse 4, if memory serves:
O thus be it ever, when free men shall stand between their loved homes and the war's desolation!
Blessed with victory and peace, may the heav'n-rescued band praise the power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
So conquer we must, when our cause it is just, and this be our motto: "In God is our trust".

When I sneeze, and someone says, "Bless you", I usually respond, "You're welcome". I pretty much do that for any two-word phrase ending with "you".

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby CharlieP » Tue Jul 30, 2013 8:43 am UTC

I have a co-worker who always says "Bless me" immediately after she sneezes. This would be annoying enough on its own, but her sneezes always seem to come in threes.
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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby tryde » Tue Jul 30, 2013 11:24 am UTC

Meanwhile in french it is not even related to religion, but to wishes, more literally "to your wishes"

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby rhetorical » Wed Jul 31, 2013 1:15 am UTC

tryde wrote:Meanwhile in french it is not even related to religion, but to wishes, more literally "to your wishes"


Or in Spanish, where it's "salud" -- "health".

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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby YttriumOx » Wed Jul 31, 2013 3:23 pm UTC

rhetorical wrote:
tryde wrote:Meanwhile in french it is not even related to religion, but to wishes, more literally "to your wishes"


Or in Spanish, where it's "salud" -- "health".


Both German "Gesundheit" and Dutch "Gezondheid" also simply mean "health".
I far prefer this to the religious variants, so tend to use Gesundheit even in English (it tends to be well known enough)
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Re: What-If 0055: "Random Sneeze Call"

Postby DanD » Mon Aug 05, 2013 9:36 pm UTC

jjcote wrote:
But not in our national anthem


From Verse 4, if memory serves:
O thus be it ever, when free men shall stand between their loved homes and the war's desolation!
Blessed with victory and peace, may the heav'n-rescued band praise the power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
So conquer we must, when our cause it is just, and this be our motto: "In God is our trust".

When I sneeze, and someone says, "Bless you", I usually respond, "You're welcome". I pretty much do that for any two-word phrase ending with "you".


DanD wrote: (Okay, so technically it shows up one time in the fourth verse, which no one knows anyway)


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