1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

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Joe O
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby Joe O » Thu Mar 07, 2013 12:07 am UTC

cream wobbly wrote:The artist is going off half-cocked… conception occurs a minimum of 30 minutes after intercourse, and typically up to five days afterwards. It can take longer. So unless Rembrandt's parents were getting it on for in the order of a week, then I'm sorry, the image does not depict "an artist's conception".

Here. This might help.


Or they had sex once, and then 2 days later -- gasp -- had sex again, and so it really is the conception from the first encounter.

Game_boy
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby Game_boy » Thu Mar 07, 2013 12:20 am UTC

Joe O wrote:
cream wobbly wrote:The artist is going off half-cocked… conception occurs a minimum of 30 minutes after intercourse, and typically up to five days afterwards. It can take longer. So unless Rembrandt's parents were getting it on for in the order of a week, then I'm sorry, the image does not depict "an artist's conception".

Here. This might help.


Or they had sex once, and then 2 days later -- gasp -- had sex again, and so it really is the conception from the first encounter.


They time-travelled to after the invention of the modern camera, so it was able to be a photograph. Comic is still invalid.
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Plutarch
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby Plutarch » Thu Mar 07, 2013 2:07 am UTC

Good joke, I liked it, even though I don't think I've ever heard the phrase 'artist's conception' as opposed to 'artist's impression.'

Also, if not a photograph, there could be a contemporary photo-realistic illustration of Rembrandt's parents having sex, done by an observer with the help of a camera obscura. Rembrandt was born in 1606, and according to Wikipedia, 'It has been speculated that Dutch masters in the 17 Century used a camera obscura for their detailed paintings,' and the principle was known long before that.

webgiant
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby webgiant » Thu Mar 07, 2013 2:23 am UTC

cream wobbly wrote:The artist is going off half-cocked… conception occurs a minimum of 30 minutes after intercourse

This is assuming that Rembrandt's father stopped after his first ejaculation. For all we know, he could have the recovery time of an 18 year old, and just kept going for another hour, during which time the photo was "taken" and conception occurred. His father did assist in the conception of nine kids, after all, and agrarian occupations such as miller did not have a lot of options for entertainment. His parents also took great pains to get the kids out of the house for as long as possible with their educations, showing a truly randy Rembrandt household which kept the horny goat weed capsules in the bedside table.

ubel
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby ubel » Thu Mar 07, 2013 2:30 am UTC

edenist wrote:Am I the only one that instantly thought of Sliders?...


... the first 2.5 seasons anyway.... we'll just pretend that the show ended there.... :p

:oops: ...nope his face is irrevocably painted in my mind, and surfaces whenever I hear that name

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addams
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby addams » Thu Mar 07, 2013 2:50 am UTC

neremanth wrote:Hmm. Despite what he says, I really don't think they had photography back when Rembrandt was around. So doesn't that mean what she's got there would have to be...

...an artist's conception of an artist's conception?


Yes. Think about it.
Until photography that is all we ever had.
Conceptions of conceptions.

Spoiler:
And! There were censors!
shh. Don't tell stories like that.
But; I KNOW what made the cow get fat and have a calf.

Have you been hanging out with the Bull, Mother?
Please, tell me it is not so; Mother?

Stupid Personal Story.
Spoiler:
I have spent some time around animals. Not a big deal. I was hanging out with a woman and she started telling me about some big animal sex thing. Nothing new to me.
It was so strange. The woman had herself all worked up.
The whole thing is about as sexy to me as watching a car being towed. I've seen it, before. I think I would notice something going wrong.
No. I did not find it tittaliating. Not at all.
This woman and I had known one another for a long time.
We had worked in a Lab together.
We had ridden horses and hiked small mountains, together.
We liked the same kind of food.

But; Animals having sex looks like work to me.
It looked like fun to her.
I hope she didn't get herself hurt.
She was an adventuresome person. I know she was.
She is the one that tried the Viagra.
She came back from that week-end with a strong affirmative.
Viagra works on women. So, funny.

She said, "It worked for days."
She used all the self control she had on Monday.
I laughed and laughed.

The woman was walking funny.
What a great day for me.
Laughing and laughing, again.

Who needs photos? No. Her pray of choice was not bovine.
The poor man. It was weeks before I saw him, again.
He looked ok. No worse for the wear.

Still; I love gossip. How else would we know?
Any other women try that stuff?
Must be. No complaints, so far.

Women don't need to wrap it in ice and go to the ER.
Do they?

Did you read the insert? I read stupid shit like that for fun.
A Four Hour Erection? It says right here, "An erection lasting more than four hours must be treated."
That is funny stuff.
Working in the ER. When a guy presents with one of those, Is he, just, bragging?
Medical Teams are trained to know the difference. Right?

No one ever has the giggles trained out of them. Some of us are trained to excuse ourselves, go to a toilette, flush it and laugh. Then splash our little faces with cold water and go back to work. Same with crying.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

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Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
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Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
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da Doctah
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby da Doctah » Thu Mar 07, 2013 6:48 am UTC

TheEngineer wrote:OK then, "Hey, look - Rembrandt falling from a great height and landing on soft ground"
... etc, etc, etc ...
"It's an artists impression".

Credit due to Emo Phillips. Used to do a story about going to an ex-girlfriend's wedding reception and being invited to "make yourself comfortable", so he pulls down his pants and sits in the pudding. The mother of the bride says "Emo, you didn't make a very good impression." Emo objects: "Looks symmetrical to me!"

ijuin
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby ijuin » Thu Mar 07, 2013 9:16 am UTC

edenist wrote:Am I the only one that instantly thought of Sliders?...


... the first 2.5 seasons anyway.... we'll just pretend that the show ended there.... :p


Yes, I found it much less entertaining after Professor Arturo was no longer in it.

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peewee_RotA
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby peewee_RotA » Thu Mar 07, 2013 11:41 am UTC

cream wobbly wrote:
peewee_RotA wrote:
cream wobbly wrote:The artist is going off half-cocked… conception occurs a minimum of 30 minutes after intercourse, and typically up to five days afterwards. It can take longer. So unless Rembrandt's parents were getting it on for in the order of a week, then I'm sorry, the image does not depict "an artist's conception".

Here. This might help.


People who take too seriously any jokes about maternity, ward off others with their lack of humor.

Yes. I refer you to "going off half-cocked", and "getting it on for in the order of a week" above. So yes, you're warding off others, chump.



Oh me yarm, why am I doing this...

You missed my joke.

"Getting it on" is not a pun, it's already the acceptable arctic bird of grouped notes used in regular speech.

You called me a chump for sending you another joke.


Your evidence of not being a humorless jackass is lacking. All in all, not a good try-mister.
"Vowels have trouble getting married in Canada. They can’t pronounce their O’s."

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Angelastic
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby Angelastic » Thu Mar 07, 2013 12:40 pm UTC

Game_boy wrote:
Joe O wrote:Or they had sex once, and then 2 days later -- gasp -- had sex again, and so it really is the conception from the first encounter.


They time-travelled to after the invention of the modern camera, so it was able to be a photograph. Comic is still invalid.

I don't see much of a connection between this response and what it's responding to. Why would they have to time travel (in case you didn't realise, there is no photograph; it's an artist's conception in both senses of the words. That's the joke) and what still makes the comic invalid if Joe O's idea takes care of the delay between sex and conception?
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Game_boy
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby Game_boy » Thu Mar 07, 2013 11:30 pm UTC

Angelastic wrote:
Game_boy wrote:
Joe O wrote:Or they had sex once, and then 2 days later -- gasp -- had sex again, and so it really is the conception from the first encounter.


They time-travelled to after the invention of the modern camera, so it was able to be a photograph. Comic is still invalid.

I don't see much of a connection between this response and what it's responding to. Why would they have to time travel (in case you didn't realise, there is no photograph; it's an artist's conception in both senses of the words. That's the joke) and what still makes the comic invalid if Joe O's idea takes care of the delay between sex and conception?


If you make up arbitrary unseen rules as to why the comic still works, it loses meaning. For example, that it's 2 days later.
The Reaper wrote:Evolution is a really really really long run-on sentence.

JustDoug
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby JustDoug » Fri Mar 08, 2013 4:28 am UTC

Reecer6 wrote:I'm American and I don't think I've ever heard about an artist's conception before, just the impression. Am I the only one?


"Artist's conception" is- or perhaps was- very commonly seen phrase. Just about any puplication of the 'Popular Mechanics' ilk will contain at least one example, usually when dealing with some "Real Soon Now!" vehicle or aircraft.

Think about it. You've probably seen the phrase, but had it overwhelemed with the excited, breathless text describing the new wonder that was even now being tested and the carefuly rendered picture of the New Thing that almost always turned out to be incredibly inaccurate if it ever did make it into reality.

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Klear
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby Klear » Fri Mar 08, 2013 9:12 am UTC

Game_boy wrote:
Angelastic wrote:
Game_boy wrote:
Joe O wrote:Or they had sex once, and then 2 days later -- gasp -- had sex again, and so it really is the conception from the first encounter.


They time-travelled to after the invention of the modern camera, so it was able to be a photograph. Comic is still invalid.

I don't see much of a connection between this response and what it's responding to. Why would they have to time travel (in case you didn't realise, there is no photograph; it's an artist's conception in both senses of the words. That's the joke) and what still makes the comic invalid if Joe O's idea takes care of the delay between sex and conception?


If you make up arbitrary unseen rules as to why the comic still works, it loses meaning. For example, that it's 2 days later.


It doesn't matter that you think the joke doesn't work, since the thing you pointed out is a very common misconception.

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Angelastic
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby Angelastic » Fri Mar 08, 2013 9:16 am UTC

Klear wrote:It doesn't matter that you think the joke doesn't work, since the thing you pointed out is a very common misconception.

And the comic (and/or the picture mentioned in it) is an artist's misconception.
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webgiant
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby webgiant » Fri Mar 08, 2013 11:47 am UTC

Angelastic wrote:
Klear wrote:It doesn't matter that you think the joke doesn't work, since the thing you pointed out is a very common misconception.

And the comic (and/or the picture mentioned in it) is an artist's misconception.

Wouldn't a misconception mean nothing was created? As in, if there's something there, its not a misconception.

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Angelastic
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby Angelastic » Fri Mar 08, 2013 12:29 pm UTC

webgiant wrote:
Angelastic wrote:
Klear wrote:It doesn't matter that you think the joke doesn't work, since the thing you pointed out is a very common misconception.

And the comic (and/or the picture mentioned in it) is an artist's misconception.

Wouldn't a misconception mean nothing was created? As in, if there's something there, its not a misconception.

See, that's the thing; the artist hadn't been conceived yet at the time depicted in the picture. So there was nothing there yet. :) But the artist who drew the picture probably thought there was, so that was another misconception, and/or Randall thought there would be, so that's his misconception... now there are three layers. :mrgreen:

Also, Rembrandt's mother was his father's Miss Conception.

I'll leave now. :arrow:
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Klear
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby Klear » Fri Mar 08, 2013 12:50 pm UTC

Right now I'm struggling to come up with a way to add carriage into the mix... :/

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Icalasari
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby Icalasari » Fri Mar 08, 2013 4:17 pm UTC

Klear wrote:Right now I'm struggling to come up with a way to add carriage into the mix... :/


"And this is Rembrandt's mother being run over by a horse drawn thingy while pregnant"
"Miss, carriage. The word is carriage"

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addams
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Re: 1182:"Rembrandt Photo"

Postby addams » Fri Mar 08, 2013 5:28 pm UTC

JustDoug wrote:
Reecer6 wrote:I'm American and I don't think I've ever heard about an artist's conception before, just the impression. Am I the only one?


"Artist's conception" is- or perhaps was- very commonly seen phrase. Just about any puplication of the 'Popular Mechanics' ilk will contain at least one example, usually when dealing with some "Real Soon Now!" vehicle or aircraft.

Think about it. You've probably seen the phrase, but had it overwhelemed with the excited, breathless text describing the new wonder that was even now being tested and the carefuly rendered picture of the New Thing that almost always turned out to be incredibly inaccurate if it ever did make it into reality.

Some of those things are Beautiful pieces of Art Work.

Some more accurate than others.
That is not done by Human Hands, anymore?
Tell a computer what you want and it produces it. Right?

Thank God for small favors? How tedious is that?
Drawing gears that would work, if they were real;
But; they are not real; It is no more real than any other drawing.

When I say I am looking at a 'Blow Up' of a building; I am talking about a look at its drawings.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.


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