1256: "Questions"

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Nylonathatep
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Nylonathatep » Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:29 pm UTC

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct?

Spoiler:
Cuz you touch yourself at night.


An oldie but a goodie.

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Red Hal
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Red Hal » Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:33 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:What do you see when you look at this:
rorschach-test.jpg

Spoiler:
Image
Lost Greatest Silent Baby X Y Z. "There is no one who loves pain itself, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is pain..."

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Whizbang
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Whizbang » Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:38 pm UTC

Red Hal wrote:
Whizbang wrote:What do you see when you look at this:
rorschach-test.jpg

Spoiler:
Image


Magically delicious... :)

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dimochka
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby dimochka » Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:39 pm UTC

I cannot believe no one has yet made a reference to http://xkcd.com/1053/, at least as soon as we started answering some not-so-smart questions!
If you're curious about the origin of my avatar, google "Cheburashka".

kasmeneo
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby kasmeneo » Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:44 pm UTC

Diadem wrote:Things are changing though. Most women no longer wear skirts. And men are starting to see the big advantages of female bikes


Some men also see the advantage of wearing skirts, which are often more comfortable than trousers.
It's cooler up here.

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Jackpot777
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Jackpot777 » Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:48 pm UTC

da Doctah wrote:Why did anyone think a fourth season of Chico and the Man was a good idea?

Why was Adam Ant on the Motown 25th Anniversary TV special?

Why was there a sequel to Highlander?

Why was Joe Friday a sergeant again when Dragnet came back in color, after being promoted to lieutenant before the black and white series ended?


After Freddie Prinze committed suicide, producers considered canceling the show but opted instead to try replacing the character.

Paying homage to the Supremes singing "Where Did Our Love Go" with Diana Ross, and it was 1983. He was touring the US at the time with members of Scottish post-punk group Fingerprintz.

Money. The first film barely broke even at the box office, but became a success on VHS when the second film was released in 1991 (and both then fed each other's success).

Continuity Reboot. James Bond goes from being a rookie to a seasoned agent, and back to being a rookie again. Jack Ryan has had more jobs than Wayne in Wayne's World (but none that needed hair nets)... Chris Pike will be playing him in a future film.

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Jackpot777
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Jackpot777 » Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:59 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:
Jorpho wrote:I like how the comic neatly captures a certain existential despair. There are only questions, questions shouted every which way, always questions, and never answers.


What do you see when you look at this:
rorschach-test.jpg


Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about... your mother.

Sorry. Wring film.

Daggertrout
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Daggertrout » Mon Aug 26, 2013 2:42 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:
Jorpho wrote:I like how the comic neatly captures a certain existential despair. There are only questions, questions shouted every which way, always questions, and never answers.


What do you see when you look at this:
rorschach-test.jpg

A Rorshach test.

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Someguy945
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Someguy945 » Mon Aug 26, 2013 2:57 pm UTC

I used to save my favorites. Results change over time, so these two don't work anymore, but they are real. I found them myself:

Image

Image

riddler
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby riddler » Mon Aug 26, 2013 3:32 pm UTC

Simpler answer to why is Arwen dying:

Elves are immortal, but they can actually die from one of two things:

1. Die in battle
2. Die of a broken heart

Arwen was dying because her heart was breaking. This is the way Tolkien envisioned elves. His book, his rules.

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cellocgw
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby cellocgw » Mon Aug 26, 2013 3:58 pm UTC

Adam H wrote:A surprising number (all???) of these can be answered with the tongue in cheek response: "Because God hates you."


"Christ, what an asshole."


I would hope people recognize the homage there before flipping out and thinking I'm being nasty
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project2051
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby project2051 » Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:14 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:
Jorpho wrote:I like how the comic neatly captures a certain existential despair. There are only questions, questions shouted every which way, always questions, and never answers.


What do you see when you look at this:
rorschach-test.jpg



Why is that praying mantis staring at me?

TortoiseWrath
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby TortoiseWrath » Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:20 pm UTC

A few of these are actually good questions. A few.

I must admit, I've never seen doors on a freeway... oh, and to the person who asked "Why is Ohio weather so weird?" ... you should move to Yakutsk. Much less weird weather :mrgreen:

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Klear
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Klear » Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:25 pm UTC

project2051 wrote:
Whizbang wrote:
Jorpho wrote:I like how the comic neatly captures a certain existential despair. There are only questions, questions shouted every which way, always questions, and never answers.


What do you see when you look at this:
rorschach-test.jpg



Why is that praying mantis staring at me?


Oh, good. I'm not the only one.

screen317
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby screen317 » Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:37 pm UTC

Quicksilver wrote:I lol'd so hard at "why is psychic weak to bug." Having played Pokemon Blue, my observation was for the most part they weren't. Most bug types were also poison types and the only bug move super effective against psychic was "pin needle."
This this this this this.

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Dracomax
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Dracomax » Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:42 pm UTC

Arwen is dieing because if she stays on as a human, she will grow old and die. to a race that lives forever, 100 years from now might as well be in the next 15 minutes. It's literally like watching someone die of cancer over a few months to you or me. I once read a perfect description of eternity. A thousand years, and his time was just beginning. millenia, and his time was just beginning. all the days from the dawn of the universe, and it was just beginning. An elf, passing at the age of a million years, is still just a youth, with their lives barely begun.

TL:DR because Elrond has a very different view of time than you, and is a jerk.

as for the inkblot--it kind of looks like a pelvic cradle. or possibly a giant bat. or the mouth of a raptor about to eat me.
“have i gone mad?
im afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

jlansner
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby jlansner » Mon Aug 26, 2013 5:10 pm UTC

slicedtoad wrote:It's be awesome if each question had it's own hover text with the answer to the query. Anyone have too much time on their hands?


Ooh! Me, me! I didn't set it up with hover text yet, but if you click on any text you get to the answer on google: bit.ly/17f54EI

(Sorry for not including a real link; can't figure out how to not get this marked as spam when I try to include it.)

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Whizbang
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Whizbang » Mon Aug 26, 2013 5:12 pm UTC

Klear wrote:
project2051 wrote:
Whizbang wrote:
Jorpho wrote:I like how the comic neatly captures a certain existential despair. There are only questions, questions shouted every which way, always questions, and never answers.


What do you see when you look at this:
rorschach-test.jpg



Why is that praying mantis staring at me?


Oh, good. I'm not the only one.


Personally, I see a grasshopper. Now that you say Praying Mantis, I see that too, but my first thought was grasshopper.

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5th Earth
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby 5th Earth » Mon Aug 26, 2013 5:42 pm UTC

Tass wrote:Actually, she was a half-elf (well part-elf), like her farther and uncle, Elrond and Elros. Like them she got to choose whether to be counted as a human or an elf (Elrond chose elf, Elros chose human and was the first of the dunedain). Because of Aragorn she chose the mortal life so that she could be with him and then follow him out of the world when their time came.

(...and it was 120 great years, not "a few", and it was Lórien, not Rivendell, she went to mourn in until she died.)


Wait, so Aragorn and Arwen are related to each other? :shock:
It seemed like a good idea at the time.

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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby speising » Mon Aug 26, 2013 5:44 pm UTC

either tolkien created a horrible world in which the One True Love can be from a different, short lived race, or Arwen was just an immature teenager with unrealistic romantic notions, like Romeo and Juliet.

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Whizbang
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Whizbang » Mon Aug 26, 2013 6:16 pm UTC

speising wrote:either tolkien created a horriblerealistic world in which the One True Love can be from a different, short lived race, or Arwen was just an immature teenager with unrealistic romantic notions, like Romeo and Juliet.


FTFY

Wouldn't that be a horrible world where your loved ones get ripped away from you after only a short time with them?

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omgryebread
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby omgryebread » Mon Aug 26, 2013 6:17 pm UTC

An answer (more or less) to every single question. Today was a productive day at work!

Spoiler:
Why do whales jump?
This behavior is called breaching, and scientists aren't quite clear why it happens, but it does appear to happen more in groups, so it may be a social behavior - perhaps showing dominance or some sort of courting behavior. Or maybe it's for fun!

Why are witches green?
It appears the first depiction of a witch with green skin is from the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz. It's quite possible this was mostly to show off Technicolor.

Why are there mirrors above beds?
Because some people have horrible taste in interior decorating.

Why do I say uh?
You're pausing in your speech to think, but also indicating that you are not yet finished.

Why is sea salt better?
Sea salt has a coarser texture, resulting in a different mouth feel (that's, I'm not even joking, a technical term) and the mineral content can affect the taste as well.

Why are there trees in the middle of fields?
Better question: how many trees can be in a field before a field is a forest?

Why is there not a Pokemon MMO?
There is! Go outside, find people to play Pokemon with! They are out there, I promise you. It's like an MMO but real!!!!!! (Pokemon tournaments are actually fun. People there are pretty cool.)

Why is there laughing in TV shows?
To replicate the feel of a live audience. This is a stupid reason, yes.

Why are there doors in the freeway?
...I'm going to assume this person is asking about the doors in soundwalls. Those are obviously to let maintenance workers through. If there are doors in the actual freeway, that's a question way beyond me.

Why are there so many svchost.exe running?
These run services essential to the windows OS. They are separated so that if one fails, only it's related services fail, and not the entire thing.

Why aren't there any countries in Antarctica?
Well, the Antarctic Treaty System doesn't really let any country claim this area. Really though, the answer is that it's a fucking sheet of ice. No one actually wants to live on a sheet of ice.

Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft?
Um. There's probably a zombie or something on the other side of a wall or right beneath the ground you're on.

Why is there kicking in my stomach?
Um. Oh wow, you're in for an adventure!!!!

Why are there two slashes after HTTP?
That's an excellent question. They don't even need to be there. Tim Berners-Lee even said they don't! I can't really answer this, so I guess you should just move on with your life. Help out the person asking the previous one, I think she's gonna need some support.

Why are there celebrities?
Some people are indeed more interesting than us boring common-folk. But then people found out they could make a ton of money telling us about these more interesting people. Not satisfied with all this money, they decided to convince us that some boring people were actually interesting, and that we should pay to hear stuff about them. They succeeded.

Why do snakes exist?
It's possible snakes evolved from burrowing lizards. Bodies of these reptiles became so streamlined to allow burrowing, that they eventually lost their limbs. The other possibility is that the same features (fused eyelids, no ears) were lost to adapt to aquatic life, and snakes evolved in the water.

Why do oysters have pearls?
In nature, this occurs because some parasite enters the shell and the oyster surrounds it with a pearl to stop the irritation. Most pearls are from farmed oysters, and are cultured deliberately by placing tissue from another oyster inside the shell. Incidentally, grains of sand and other inorganic materials will not cause pearls.

Why are ducks called ducks?
It comes from an Old English word meaning to duck or bend down low, referring to the way ducks feed.

Why do they call it the clap?
Well, first off, sorry. Hope that clears up. Secondly, there's no real answer, but several theories. The one I think is most likely is that it comes from the old French word "clapier" which meant brothel.

Why are Kyle and Cartman friends?
Because that's the central conceit of the show. It's a show about the antics of a group of friends. It would be a different show if they weren't friends.

Why is there an arrow on Aang's head?
I don't know if there's an in-universe reason for this and I don't want to search to deeply. I haven't seen the series yet, and don't want to spoil myself.

Why are text messages blue?
Assuming you have an iPhone, this is because your iPhone sends messages to other iPhones using your data connection and not SMS.

Why are there mustaches on clothes?
?

Why are there mustaches on cars?
???

Why are there mustaches everywhere?
????????????????????????????????

Why are there so many birds in Ohio?
Well, I poked around and it doesn't seem like Ohio has a particularly high number of birds, though like most places with reasonable climates birds are fai-

Why is there so much rain in Ohio?
Okay, huh, guess you have birds and rain. Well, there's been an area of low pressure right in the middle of the country. Since it's kind of stuck there, moisture is continuously moving up from the Gulf of Mexico, carried right to Ohio. I hope this answe-

Why is Ohio weather so weird?
Okay, is there something going on in Ohio I should know about? Are you guys okay up there?

Why are there no dinosaur ghosts?
Because about 64 million years ago, a second, ghost meteor hit the earth and caused a ghost extinction.

Why are there male and female bikes?
Traditionally, it was for skirts. There are still variations, though. Because men and women have different body proportions, bikes can be made differently to adapt.

Why are there bridesmaids?
So my friend could torture me with her dress choice. I'm a goddamn A cup, that dress doesn't work!!!! Um oh, right. Yeah, bridesmaids were basically about showing off how rich you were because you had a bunch of virginal attendants to show off. (Wedding traditions: super creepy.)

Why do dying people reach up?
Because it's the movies and it looks dramatic.

Why are there no varicose arteries?
Since gravity is pulling blood back down while veins are trying to get it back up to the heart, veins have valves to prevent it flowing the wrong way. Sometimes these valves fuck up, and the vein becomes varicose. Arteries in the legs work with gravity, so they don't need these valves. No valves to fuck up, no varicose arteries.

Why are old Klingons different?
Budget problems. The canon reason is some shit about genetic engineering and some crazy plague and zzzz Star Trek is so boring.

Why are there squirrels?
Hey um. I got a guy you might like. He's really into snakes, and weird questions about the existence of animals.

Why is programming so hard?
Because you aren't using Lisp.

Why is there a 0 Ohm resistor?
One use is to allow traces on the same side of a PCB to cross: one trace has a zero-ohm resistor while the second trace runs in between the leads of the resistor, avoiding contact with the first trace. A second use is as a configuration jumper to select different operation modes of a printed circuit board. Sometimes, a zero-ohm link may be used as an ad-hoc low-cost kind of a fuse.
I have no clue what that means. Thanks, Wikipedia!

Why do rhymes sound good?
Evolutionary psychologists say it's a deliberate handicap to show off your skills. Rhyming shows intelligence, giving the ladies thrills. Evo psych seems to have solved it! Evolutionary psychology is full of shit.

Why do trees die?
Must not all things at the last be swallowed up in death?

Why is there no sound on CNN?
Mom? Um, hit the mute button again.

Why aren't Pokemon real?
Further proof we do not, in fact, live in the best of all possible worlds.

Why aren't bullets sharp?
Guys. Guys. I have the best - guys. Guys listen. I've got the best idea. Okay guys. Okay, it's a gun right. Guys, it's a gun. But instead of bullets... guys listen here this is great. Instead of bullets, ITS A GUN THAT SHOOTS KNIVES. (okay, look, sharp things break. Also sharp things don't cause as much damage anyway.)

Why do dreams seem so real?
This is way too long to answer here, but god, I had these dreams when I was in middle and high school about forgetting my shoes to school, and they felt real every goddamn time and it was fucking humiliating. But yeah, lots of theories and stuff, and I'm trying to be flippant and quick with these answers.

Why is there hell if God forgives?
I was taught in school, at least, that God doesn't send people to hell, but hell is a self-inflicted separation from him. That's Catholic teaching as best I understand it, and I'm sure other sects have different opinions on hell and forgiveness.

Why are there tiny spiders in my house?
Well, they might be going for food or warmth or something.

Why do spiders come inside?
Hey, I basically just answered that. Maybe you ought to call some pest control.

Why are there huge spiders in my house?
Uh-oh. They're getting bigger?

Why are there lots of spiders in my house?
Uh, this sounds serious...

Why are there spiders in my room?
Oh god, they're after you. GET OUT GET OUT.

Why are there so many spiders in my room?
Oh no. Find a window OH MY GOD THEY'RE AT THE WINDOW.

Why do spider bites itch?
I'm so sorry. I couldn't do more.

Why is dying so scary?
RIP, anonymous Googler. Your death by spider shall not be forgotten.

Why is there no GPS in laptops?
Eh, that doesn't seem like a bad idea, I guess, but generally phones have data connections and laptops don't.

Why do knees click?
Some part of the knee isn't in the normal position when you're moving it. If there's pain or some other problem occurring, go see a doctor. Otherwise, there's probably not a problem.

Why aren't there E grades?
There are in some schools! Others use F for Failure.

Why is isolation bad?
We're social creatures. It causes psychological stress.

Why do boys like me?
When you figure it out, let me know.

Why don't boys like me?
When you figure it out, let me know.

Why is there always a Java update?
When you figure it out, let me know.

Why are there red dots on my thighs?
Insect bites? Poison ivy or another poisonous plant? Some sort of skin infection? Snipers, aiming for your thighs?

Why is lying good?
Because when your girlfriend cooks you a meal and it's awful, you want to be nice to her anyway and you eat the dry, somewhat tasteless chicken and tell her you love it. Aww, relationships.

Why is GPS free?
A Korean Airlines passenger flight was shot down in 1983 after entering prohibited Soviet airspace. This led to Reagan declaring the still-in-development GPS free for civilian use so stuff like that didn't happen. Basically, it's a pretty swell use of tax money.

Why is sex so important?
Well... it makes babies, and then they kick in your stomach.

Why do testicles move?
Just a part of growing up. The body continues to grow after birth, and this is part of that?

Why are there psychics?
There aren't.

Why are hats so expensive?
All my hats are just gifts my dad gets from vendors....

Why is there caffeine in my shampoo?
Apparently, there was a study showing caffeine promotes hair growth. It was a small study, so color me skeptical.

Why do your boobs hurt?
Uh, mine feel fine. I don't think Google's boobs hurt either, though it was nice of you to ask. This might have to do with your menstrual cycle or menopause. It's probably not a problem, but see a doctor if it persists!

Why are trees tall?
So they can be higher than other plants, and get more of that delicious sunlight.

Why do Iguanas die?
Should I just quote Plato again? Basically, living forever is really tough. Bodies naturally degrade. Iguanas, like trees, are far too complex to keep naturally rebuilding themselves. Sorry to hear about your iguana.

Why aren't economists rich?
Economists largely explain the economy as an entire structure. This is quite different from following and understanding trends that are profitable.

Why do Americans call it soccer?
Soccer is short for "association football" and the term was coined in England. The term is still used in America to avoid confusion with American Football.

Why are my ears ringing?
Hearing loss, through age or damage can cause your ears to ring. High blood pressure, and many other health issues may also cause it. See a doctor!

Why are there so many Avengers?
Cause Marvel likes money.

Why are the Avengers fighting the X-Men?
The Phoenix Force is a dick and superheroes are very impulsive, basically.

Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers?
Cause he's in the X-Men?

Why is there lava?
The middle of the earth is hot. So hot, it melts rock! Sometimes the "crust" that separates from that hellish interior breaks and molten rock comes out. That's lava!

Why are there ants in my laptop?
Let's hope this doesn't end like the spiders.

Why are there ghosts?
Because there aren't any ghost dinosaurs to eat them.

Why is earth tilted?
Creating a solar system is really messy. Things get pulled around by tidal forces and stuff knocks into each other quite a lot. We're actually pretty lucky the Earth isn't more tilted.

Why is space black?
Because there's nothing there. Black is the absence of color. There's nothing out in space for light to hit and be reflected into our eyes.

Why is outer space so cold?
Interesting question. Space isn't cold, not really. Temperature is a measure of the kinetic energy of the particles, but there aren't many particles in space. This makes it "cold" because there's no particles to bounce around and provide heat.

Why are there pyramids on the moon?
...There aren't.

Why is NASA shutting down?
It's not, and that's a good thing, because we need it to educate people and inform them of things like the absence of pyramids on the moon (and hopefully provide better explanations of temperature in space.) It does face funding problems though! Call your Congresspeeps!

Why are there female Mr. Mimes?
Mr. Mime's Japanese name doesn't have a gendered honorific. Mr. Mime was also given an English name before gender was introduced. So when gender was put in, the Japanese team didn't have the restriction the English name gave.

Why are there slaves in the Bible?
There were slaves when it was written.

Why do twins have different fingerprints?
Identical twins are genetically identical, but fingerprints form by environmental factors, not genetic ones.

Why are Americans afraid of dragons?
Better question: Are other nationalities not afraid of GIANT FIREBREATHING LIZARDS? And if not, what the fuck is wrong with them?

Why is YKK on all zippers?
They're made by a Japanese company, the YKK group.

Why is HTTPS crossed out in red?
This happens in Chrome when the browser can't verify the site is secure.

Why is there a redline through HTTPS on facebook?
See above.

Why is HTTPS important?
To secure your communications.

Why aren't my arms growing?
Uh. If you mean they are short, see a doctor! If you mean they're not bulking up, see a personal trainer!

Why are there weeks?
It has to do with the moon and the Babylonian religious calender.

Why do I feel dizzy?
Could be lots of reasons! If the feeling persists, see a doctor!

Why are there swarms of gnats?
At least they aren't in your laptop. A swarm (also called a ghost, which is excellent) is basically a bunch of male gnats out on the town, looking to get laid.

Why is there phlegm?
Unlike mucus, phlegm is usually created as a response to disease or some other problem. It's basically there to wet things down when it's unnaturally dry or to get rid of disease causing agents.

Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN?
So I figured this was one of those weird questions, like the one about birds in Ohio. It turns out Rochester does have a problem with crows. Apparently, it's just kinda a nice place for them. Seriously, crows are a real problem there!

Why is psychic weak to bug?
Cause psychic is kinda OP, but the lack of bug moves in Gen 1 kinda made this weakness pointless.

Why do children get cancer?
Cancer is a varied and diverse group of diseases. Many of them are genetic and manifest at quite a young age.

Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus?
Poseidon's son is the Cyclops Polyphemus, who captured and intended to eat Odysseus. Odysseus blinded Polyphemus to escape, pissing Poseidon off.

Why is there ice in space?
There's no heat to melt it.

Why is there no king in England?
The husbands of Queens do not take the title King but rather that of Prince Consort, and do not rule. The wives of kings do take the title Queen, though they also do not rule. (Rule being used loosely, to mean something like "sit around and wave at crowds")

Why are dogs afraid of fireworks?
Better question: Why are people not afraid of explosions in the sky? (Fireworks, not the band Explosions in the Sky. They seem like nice people and as far as I'm aware there's no reason to fear them.)

Why is there an owl in my backyard?
Hey, owls need places to chill, and I don't think they understand property concepts.

Why is there an owl outside my window?
Huh. I don't think it's spying on you or something. It's just chilling, I don't think owls even realize what a window is...

Why is there an owl on the dollar bill?
Well, normally I'd tell you there's not an owl on the dollar bill, you're just seeing patterns where there aren't any. But given the last two questions, holy shit, guys this goes all the way up. Maybe the President is an owl. Maybe ALL THE PRESIDENTS WERE OWLS.

Why do owls attack people?
It's begun! The Owl Revolution is upon us. Finally, Owl George Washington's ancient plot to use America to dominate the world, smoothing the way for nocturnal dominance has come to fruition. (Seriously though, owl attacks are fairly rare, but it's possible these owls were rescued by people who didn't know how to raise owls. When they're released, they don't know how to hunt, and mistakenly attack humans.)

Why are AK47s so expensive?
Hey, if you're looking to kill someone in style, you have to expect to pay a premium for that.

Why are helicopters circling my house?
I don't know, are you googling the prices of various firearms?

Why are there gods?
You'd have to ask them, I suppose.

Why are there two Spocks?
To sell cars.

Why is Mt Vesuvius there?
The African plate was subducted beneath the Eurasian plate. This caused the water in the oceanic African plate to boil, melting the rock. Magma is less dense than rock, so it pushed through, breaking through the crust and forming the volcano.

Why do they say T Minus?
It probably stands for time. Acronyms and other methods of shortening speech are used to keep communication channels open.

Why are there obelisks?
It's been hypothesized that the Ancient Egyptians built obelisks to resemble "sun pillars", cause they were really into the sun. The obelisk as a monument was passed down to us through the Romans.

Why are wrestlers always wet?
Googling this gets you porn on the first page. Someone else should go down this list of questions, not with answers, but with how many pages in you find porn. Anyway, wrestling is sweaty business.

Why are oceans becoming more acidic?
Because as we release CO2 into the atmosphere, that CO2 gets dissolved into the ocean. Some of that CO2 reacts with water to form carbonic acid.

Why is Arwen dying?
One of the few things I find more boring than Star Trek is LotR, so I'm going to let the other, very good, answers already given on this topic suffice.

Why aren't my quails laying eggs?
The most common cause of this seems to be lack of light. You want a steady light imitating sunlight to shine for 14 hours a day so your quails lay year-round.

Why aren't my quail eggs hatching?
Well, make sure they are good fertile eggs. Humidity, temperature and time in the incubator are all important, and vary for the variety of quail.

Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America?
Generally, foreign military bases are established in former colonies, or in countries that agree to do host, presumably in exchange for protection from the larger military. The US doesn't particularly need protection, since it's doing a lot of the protecting.

Why are my boobs itchy?
It may be a sign of some disease, but if it's just a simple itch, it may be because your breasts are growing. If it lasts, or is so severe that it's causing problems, then talk to a doctor.

Why are cigarettes legal?
Because it's a lot of work to ban things, especially things that have been around as long as cigarettes.

Why are there ducks in my pool?
Ducks! They like water. Your pool has water.

Why is Jesus white?
If Jesus did exist, he wasn't white. But depictions of him commonly are, because people like their deities to look like them. Many Christian denominations don't mind, or even encourage, diverse depictions of Jesus.

Why is their liquid in my ear?
Fluid in the ear can be caused by a few things, including infection. It's often not a serious problem and will clear up on its own, but you may need to see a doctor.

Why do Q Tips feel good?
I know right? Earwax sucks. You shouldn't do this, since it's bad for your ears and stuff. I assume you're talking about ears. You're talking about ears, right?

Why do good people die?
Ernest Hemingway wrote:If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry


Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter?
...

Why are ultrasounds important?
So you know why there's a kicking in your stomach.

Why are ultrasound machines expensive?
You know you can just... get an ultrasound at the doctor? You don't need to do it yourself.

Why is stealing wrong?
Good question. By the way, I took your car.
avatar from Nononono by Lynn Okamoto.

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PM 2Ring
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby PM 2Ring » Mon Aug 26, 2013 6:30 pm UTC

5th Earth wrote:
Tass wrote:Actually, she was a half-elf (well part-elf), like her farther and uncle, Elrond and Elros. Like them she got to choose whether to be counted as a human or an elf (Elrond chose elf, Elros chose human and was the first of the dunedain). Because of Aragorn she chose the mortal life so that she could be with him and then follow him out of the world when their time came.

(...and it was 120 great years, not "a few", and it was Lórien, not Rivendell, she went to mourn in until she died.)


Wait, so Aragorn and Arwen are related to each other? :shock:


Yes, they were both descendants of Eärendil and Elwing, who were the parents of the twin brothers Elrond and Elros. But there were many generations between Elros and Aragorn. From a quick look at a few Tolkien sites I think there were about 50 generations between them.

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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby SerMufasa » Mon Aug 26, 2013 6:44 pm UTC

I think y'all are overthinking the Arwen question. I tend to think it's related more to the movie than the book, and to Elrond's convo with Aragorn. I remember an essay that heavily criticized this addition by Peter Jackson because of the whole "Who cares if the world will be overrun by Sauron, Arwen will die!" attitude it adds, but for the life of me I can't remember the essay source or author.

I did find this when I googled trying to find the essay:
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) - FAQ - IMDb
www.imdb.com/title/tt0167260/faq
Couldn't he fly there on the back of a giant Eagle, like Gandalf does? Why is Lord Elrond the one handing Aragorn his sword? Why is Arwen dying? Who were ...
"Winter is Coming, Simba"

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mikrit
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby mikrit » Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:08 pm UTC

On http://www.google.se, the first autocomplete suggestion for "Why are" is "Why are Swedes so cold?".

So, this must be what every tourist in Sweden hurries to ask Google as soon as they can connect their laptop to a Swedish wifi. Oh dear.

Well, I think the answer is: We are just shy. Not antisocial. (You can talk to us!)
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Dubbed "First and Eldest of Ottificators" by svenman.
Febrion wrote: "etc" is latin for "this would look better with more examples, but I can't think of any".

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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby bleus » Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:11 pm UTC

5th Earth wrote:Wait, so Aragorn and Arwen are related to each other? :shock:


Yes, her uncle is Aragorn's great, great [many, many "greats" here] grandfather.

Technically they're cousins...

My understanding is that Arwen elected to be elven (thus her still being alive and youthful when she met Aragorn) and that this was why Elrond was so staunchly opposed to her marrying Aragorn. Elrond knew she would never die though Aragorn, eventually would, and he wanted to spare her the eternal pain she would suffer thereafter. Nevertheless, she loved Aragon, and gave up her option to return to the undying lands, relinquishing her seat on a ship to Valinor in favour of letting Frodo take it. It bears mentioning that this would NOT confer immortality on Frodo as that was forbidden, however she hoped that the proximity of the Vala and the great elven healers, as well as the distance from Middle Earth / Morodor would allow Frodo to spend his last years at a greater ease as a result of the many physical and psychological wounds he suffered during the War of the Ring. Though I have no idea who gave Bilbo a seat on that boat...

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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby SerMufasa » Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:20 pm UTC

bleus wrote:It bears mentioning that this would NOT confer immortality on Frodo as that was forbidden, however she hoped that the proximity of the Vala and the great elven healers, as well as the distance from Middle Earth / Morodor would allow Frodo to spend his last years at a greater ease as a result of the many physical and psychological wounds he suffered during the War of the Ring.


Until he died from Smallpox
"Winter is Coming, Simba"

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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby KarenRei » Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:36 pm UTC

I lol'ed so loud at "Why is there always a java update" that I startled my parrot ;)

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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Klear » Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:38 pm UTC

KarenRei wrote:I lol'ed so loud at "Why is there always a java update" that I startled my parrot ;)


That sounds like some unusual euphemism...

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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby speising » Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:41 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:
speising wrote:either tolkien created a horriblerealistic world in which the One True Love can be from a different, short lived race, or Arwen was just an immature teenager with unrealistic romantic notions, like Romeo and Juliet.


FTFY

Wouldn't that be a horrible world where your loved ones get ripped away from you after only a short time with them?


so you think it is realistic that people only love once in their (potentially eternal) lifetimes?

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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Pfhorrest » Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:45 pm UTC

PM 2Ring wrote:
5th Earth wrote:
Tass wrote:Actually, she was a half-elf (well part-elf), like her farther and uncle, Elrond and Elros. Like them she got to choose whether to be counted as a human or an elf (Elrond chose elf, Elros chose human and was the first of the dunedain). Because of Aragorn she chose the mortal life so that she could be with him and then follow him out of the world when their time came.

(...and it was 120 great years, not "a few", and it was Lórien, not Rivendell, she went to mourn in until she died.)


Wait, so Aragorn and Arwen are related to each other? :shock:


Yes, they were both descendants of Eärendil and Elwing, who were the parents of the twin brothers Elrond and Elros. But there were many generations between Elros and Aragorn. From a quick look at a few Tolkien sites I think there were about 50 generations between them.

Wikipedia has a great genealogy chart of them and their ancestry here. Some cool things of note:

- As previously noted, they are descended from the brothers Elrond and Elros respectively, with Elros being the first of the line of "Men of the West" (Dunedain).
- Elrond and Elros were the children of Earendil and Elwing, who were in turn the child and grandchild (respectively) of the only two other elf-human pairings in history: Tuor and Idril (Earendil's parents), and the famed Beren and Luthien (Elwing's grandparents).
- (Fun parenthetical notes here: Earendil is now the Morning Star, sailing the heavens with the last one of the silmarils, the gems containing the last light of the magic trees which illuminated the old world before it fell, affixed to his brow. And Beren and Luthien, the original star-crossed lovers of Tolkien's legendarium, first stole that silmaril back from the original Dark Lord, Melkor Morgoth, in a quest so epic that Tolkien actually wrote a full-length epic poem about it in one of his elven languages and had "Beren" and "Luthien" written on his and his wife's gravestones).
- Between those two lineages, they have ancestors from all three of the original Elven clans, and all three houses of the "high men" (Edain).
- By way of Luthien, they are all descended from a literal demigod (Maia) named Melian, who is a being on the same order of power as Gandalf, Saruman, and the rest of the wizards, the Balrogs, and even Sauron himself, and of the same species (inasmuch as that can be applied to beings of pure spirit) as the gods (Valar) themselves.
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Philip Thomas » Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:51 pm UTC

Arwen did indeed choose elven kindred as one of the children of Elrond (or maybe Elrond chose it for her).

However, like Luthien, she, as an elf, can choose to renounce her elven immortality for her one true love.

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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Whizbang » Mon Aug 26, 2013 8:01 pm UTC

speising wrote:
Whizbang wrote:
speising wrote:either tolkien created a horriblerealistic world in which the One True Love can be from a different, short lived race, or Arwen was just an immature teenager with unrealistic romantic notions, like Romeo and Juliet.


FTFY

Wouldn't that be a horrible world where your loved ones get ripped away from you after only a short time with them?


so you think it is realistic that people only love once in their (potentially eternal) lifetimes?



Bah. I was just being flippant.

I am not really a believer in "One True Love", and I do my best to ignore that when I read about it in books. I suppose if I have to accept that they (elves) live forever then I have to also accept the "one true love" part as well. In that case, living forever while your OTL withers and dies would suck. That doesn't stop me from wanting to be an immortal.

Anyway, I wasn't saying it is realistic that people only love once, but instead it is realistic that your loved ones can die/disappear/stop loving you without any notice. Isn't that pretty much the theme of LoTR, or any fantasy novel; Despite the futility of fighting the forces of chaos (entropy), life is worth the living, no matter the cost and pain? Sure it is sad that Arwen was doomed to love a mortal, but, hey, at least she got to live hundreds/thousands of years. I assume. How old is Arwen?... Wikipedia says over 2,700 years old. Dude, wait. I see your point. That totally sucks to be able to live thousands of years then to go out in a blaze of passion and romance. I'd much rather just work my life away in a cubicle farm then waste away to cancer at 70.

Life sucks, and then you die... or go to the Undying Lands.

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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby enumerated powers » Mon Aug 26, 2013 8:03 pm UTC

omgryebread wrote:An answer (more or less) to every single question. Today was a productive day at work!

Spoiler:
Why do whales jump?
This behavior is called breaching, and scientists aren't quite clear why it happens, but it does appear to happen more in groups, so it may be a social behavior - perhaps showing dominance or some sort of courting behavior. Or maybe it's for fun!

Why are witches green?
It appears the first depiction of a witch with green skin is from the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz. It's quite possible this was mostly to show off Technicolor.

Why are there mirrors above beds?
Because some people have horrible taste in interior decorating.

Why do I say uh?
You're pausing in your speech to think, but also indicating that you are not yet finished.

Why is sea salt better?
Sea salt has a coarser texture, resulting in a different mouth feel (that's, I'm not even joking, a technical term) and the mineral content can affect the taste as well.

Why are there trees in the middle of fields?
Better question: how many trees can be in a field before a field is a forest?

Why is there not a Pokemon MMO?
There is! Go outside, find people to play Pokemon with! They are out there, I promise you. It's like an MMO but real!!!!!! (Pokemon tournaments are actually fun. People there are pretty cool.)

Why is there laughing in TV shows?
To replicate the feel of a live audience. This is a stupid reason, yes.

Why are there doors in the freeway?
...I'm going to assume this person is asking about the doors in soundwalls. Those are obviously to let maintenance workers through. If there are doors in the actual freeway, that's a question way beyond me.

Why are there so many svchost.exe running?
These run services essential to the windows OS. They are separated so that if one fails, only it's related services fail, and not the entire thing.

Why aren't there any countries in Antarctica?
Well, the Antarctic Treaty System doesn't really let any country claim this area. Really though, the answer is that it's a fucking sheet of ice. No one actually wants to live on a sheet of ice.

Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft?
Um. There's probably a zombie or something on the other side of a wall or right beneath the ground you're on.

Why is there kicking in my stomach?
Um. Oh wow, you're in for an adventure!!!!

Why are there two slashes after HTTP?
That's an excellent question. They don't even need to be there. Tim Berners-Lee even said they don't! I can't really answer this, so I guess you should just move on with your life. Help out the person asking the previous one, I think she's gonna need some support.

Why are there celebrities?
Some people are indeed more interesting than us boring common-folk. But then people found out they could make a ton of money telling us about these more interesting people. Not satisfied with all this money, they decided to convince us that some boring people were actually interesting, and that we should pay to hear stuff about them. They succeeded.

Why do snakes exist?
It's possible snakes evolved from burrowing lizards. Bodies of these reptiles became so streamlined to allow burrowing, that they eventually lost their limbs. The other possibility is that the same features (fused eyelids, no ears) were lost to adapt to aquatic life, and snakes evolved in the water.

Why do oysters have pearls?
In nature, this occurs because some parasite enters the shell and the oyster surrounds it with a pearl to stop the irritation. Most pearls are from farmed oysters, and are cultured deliberately by placing tissue from another oyster inside the shell. Incidentally, grains of sand and other inorganic materials will not cause pearls.

Why are ducks called ducks?
It comes from an Old English word meaning to duck or bend down low, referring to the way ducks feed.

Why do they call it the clap?
Well, first off, sorry. Hope that clears up. Secondly, there's no real answer, but several theories. The one I think is most likely is that it comes from the old French word "clapier" which meant brothel.

Why are Kyle and Cartman friends?
Because that's the central conceit of the show. It's a show about the antics of a group of friends. It would be a different show if they weren't friends.

Why is there an arrow on Aang's head?
I don't know if there's an in-universe reason for this and I don't want to search to deeply. I haven't seen the series yet, and don't want to spoil myself.

Why are text messages blue?
Assuming you have an iPhone, this is because your iPhone sends messages to other iPhones using your data connection and not SMS.

Why are there mustaches on clothes?
?

Why are there mustaches on cars?
???

Why are there mustaches everywhere?
????????????????????????????????

Why are there so many birds in Ohio?
Well, I poked around and it doesn't seem like Ohio has a particularly high number of birds, though like most places with reasonable climates birds are fai-

Why is there so much rain in Ohio?
Okay, huh, guess you have birds and rain. Well, there's been an area of low pressure right in the middle of the country. Since it's kind of stuck there, moisture is continuously moving up from the Gulf of Mexico, carried right to Ohio. I hope this answe-

Why is Ohio weather so weird?
Okay, is there something going on in Ohio I should know about? Are you guys okay up there?

Why are there no dinosaur ghosts?
Because about 64 million years ago, a second, ghost meteor hit the earth and caused a ghost extinction.

Why are there male and female bikes?
Traditionally, it was for skirts. There are still variations, though. Because men and women have different body proportions, bikes can be made differently to adapt.

Why are there bridesmaids?
So my friend could torture me with her dress choice. I'm a goddamn A cup, that dress doesn't work!!!! Um oh, right. Yeah, bridesmaids were basically about showing off how rich you were because you had a bunch of virginal attendants to show off. (Wedding traditions: super creepy.)

Why do dying people reach up?
Because it's the movies and it looks dramatic.

Why are there no varicose arteries?
Since gravity is pulling blood back down while veins are trying to get it back up to the heart, veins have valves to prevent it flowing the wrong way. Sometimes these valves fuck up, and the vein becomes varicose. Arteries in the legs work with gravity, so they don't need these valves. No valves to fuck up, no varicose arteries.

Why are old Klingons different?
Budget problems. The canon reason is some shit about genetic engineering and some crazy plague and zzzz Star Trek is so boring.

Why are there squirrels?
Hey um. I got a guy you might like. He's really into snakes, and weird questions about the existence of animals.

Why is programming so hard?
Because you aren't using Lisp.

Why is there a 0 Ohm resistor?
One use is to allow traces on the same side of a PCB to cross: one trace has a zero-ohm resistor while the second trace runs in between the leads of the resistor, avoiding contact with the first trace. A second use is as a configuration jumper to select different operation modes of a printed circuit board. Sometimes, a zero-ohm link may be used as an ad-hoc low-cost kind of a fuse.
I have no clue what that means. Thanks, Wikipedia!

Why do rhymes sound good?
Evolutionary psychologists say it's a deliberate handicap to show off your skills. Rhyming shows intelligence, giving the ladies thrills. Evo psych seems to have solved it! Evolutionary psychology is full of shit.

Why do trees die?
Must not all things at the last be swallowed up in death?

Why is there no sound on CNN?
Mom? Um, hit the mute button again.

Why aren't Pokemon real?
Further proof we do not, in fact, live in the best of all possible worlds.

Why aren't bullets sharp?
Guys. Guys. I have the best - guys. Guys listen. I've got the best idea. Okay guys. Okay, it's a gun right. Guys, it's a gun. But instead of bullets... guys listen here this is great. Instead of bullets, ITS A GUN THAT SHOOTS KNIVES. (okay, look, sharp things break. Also sharp things don't cause as much damage anyway.)

Why do dreams seem so real?
This is way too long to answer here, but god, I had these dreams when I was in middle and high school about forgetting my shoes to school, and they felt real every goddamn time and it was fucking humiliating. But yeah, lots of theories and stuff, and I'm trying to be flippant and quick with these answers.

Why is there hell if God forgives?
I was taught in school, at least, that God doesn't send people to hell, but hell is a self-inflicted separation from him. That's Catholic teaching as best I understand it, and I'm sure other sects have different opinions on hell and forgiveness.

Why are there tiny spiders in my house?
Well, they might be going for food or warmth or something.

Why do spiders come inside?
Hey, I basically just answered that. Maybe you ought to call some pest control.

Why are there huge spiders in my house?
Uh-oh. They're getting bigger?

Why are there lots of spiders in my house?
Uh, this sounds serious...

Why are there spiders in my room?
Oh god, they're after you. GET OUT GET OUT.

Why are there so many spiders in my room?
Oh no. Find a window OH MY GOD THEY'RE AT THE WINDOW.

Why do spider bites itch?
I'm so sorry. I couldn't do more.

Why is dying so scary?
RIP, anonymous Googler. Your death by spider shall not be forgotten.

Why is there no GPS in laptops?
Eh, that doesn't seem like a bad idea, I guess, but generally phones have data connections and laptops don't.

Why do knees click?
Some part of the knee isn't in the normal position when you're moving it. If there's pain or some other problem occurring, go see a doctor. Otherwise, there's probably not a problem.

Why aren't there E grades?
There are in some schools! Others use F for Failure.

Why is isolation bad?
We're social creatures. It causes psychological stress.

Why do boys like me?
When you figure it out, let me know.

Why don't boys like me?
When you figure it out, let me know.

Why is there always a Java update?
When you figure it out, let me know.

Why are there red dots on my thighs?
Insect bites? Poison ivy or another poisonous plant? Some sort of skin infection? Snipers, aiming for your thighs?

Why is lying good?
Because when your girlfriend cooks you a meal and it's awful, you want to be nice to her anyway and you eat the dry, somewhat tasteless chicken and tell her you love it. Aww, relationships.

Why is GPS free?
A Korean Airlines passenger flight was shot down in 1983 after entering prohibited Soviet airspace. This led to Reagan declaring the still-in-development GPS free for civilian use so stuff like that didn't happen. Basically, it's a pretty swell use of tax money.

Why is sex so important?
Well... it makes babies, and then they kick in your stomach.

Why do testicles move?
Just a part of growing up. The body continues to grow after birth, and this is part of that?

Why are there psychics?
There aren't.

Why are hats so expensive?
All my hats are just gifts my dad gets from vendors....

Why is there caffeine in my shampoo?
Apparently, there was a study showing caffeine promotes hair growth. It was a small study, so color me skeptical.

Why do your boobs hurt?
Uh, mine feel fine. I don't think Google's boobs hurt either, though it was nice of you to ask. This might have to do with your menstrual cycle or menopause. It's probably not a problem, but see a doctor if it persists!

Why are trees tall?
So they can be higher than other plants, and get more of that delicious sunlight.

Why do Iguanas die?
Should I just quote Plato again? Basically, living forever is really tough. Bodies naturally degrade. Iguanas, like trees, are far too complex to keep naturally rebuilding themselves. Sorry to hear about your iguana.

Why aren't economists rich?
Economists largely explain the economy as an entire structure. This is quite different from following and understanding trends that are profitable.

Why do Americans call it soccer?
Soccer is short for "association football" and the term was coined in England. The term is still used in America to avoid confusion with American Football.

Why are my ears ringing?
Hearing loss, through age or damage can cause your ears to ring. High blood pressure, and many other health issues may also cause it. See a doctor!

Why are there so many Avengers?
Cause Marvel likes money.

Why are the Avengers fighting the X-Men?
The Phoenix Force is a dick and superheroes are very impulsive, basically.

Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers?
Cause he's in the X-Men?

Why is there lava?
The middle of the earth is hot. So hot, it melts rock! Sometimes the "crust" that separates from that hellish interior breaks and molten rock comes out. That's lava!

Why are there ants in my laptop?
Let's hope this doesn't end like the spiders.

Why are there ghosts?
Because there aren't any ghost dinosaurs to eat them.

Why is earth tilted?
Creating a solar system is really messy. Things get pulled around by tidal forces and stuff knocks into each other quite a lot. We're actually pretty lucky the Earth isn't more tilted.

Why is space black?
Because there's nothing there. Black is the absence of color. There's nothing out in space for light to hit and be reflected into our eyes.

Why is outer space so cold?
Interesting question. Space isn't cold, not really. Temperature is a measure of the kinetic energy of the particles, but there aren't many particles in space. This makes it "cold" because there's no particles to bounce around and provide heat.

Why are there pyramids on the moon?
...There aren't.

Why is NASA shutting down?
It's not, and that's a good thing, because we need it to educate people and inform them of things like the absence of pyramids on the moon (and hopefully provide better explanations of temperature in space.) It does face funding problems though! Call your Congresspeeps!

Why are there female Mr. Mimes?
Mr. Mime's Japanese name doesn't have a gendered honorific. Mr. Mime was also given an English name before gender was introduced. So when gender was put in, the Japanese team didn't have the restriction the English name gave.

Why are there slaves in the Bible?
There were slaves when it was written.

Why do twins have different fingerprints?
Identical twins are genetically identical, but fingerprints form by environmental factors, not genetic ones.

Why are Americans afraid of dragons?
Better question: Are other nationalities not afraid of GIANT FIREBREATHING LIZARDS? And if not, what the fuck is wrong with them?

Why is YKK on all zippers?
They're made by a Japanese company, the YKK group.

Why is HTTPS crossed out in red?
This happens in Chrome when the browser can't verify the site is secure.

Why is there a redline through HTTPS on facebook?
See above.

Why is HTTPS important?
To secure your communications.

Why aren't my arms growing?
Uh. If you mean they are short, see a doctor! If you mean they're not bulking up, see a personal trainer!

Why are there weeks?
It has to do with the moon and the Babylonian religious calender.

Why do I feel dizzy?
Could be lots of reasons! If the feeling persists, see a doctor!

Why are there swarms of gnats?
At least they aren't in your laptop. A swarm (also called a ghost, which is excellent) is basically a bunch of male gnats out on the town, looking to get laid.

Why is there phlegm?
Unlike mucus, phlegm is usually created as a response to disease or some other problem. It's basically there to wet things down when it's unnaturally dry or to get rid of disease causing agents.

Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN?
So I figured this was one of those weird questions, like the one about birds in Ohio. It turns out Rochester does have a problem with crows. Apparently, it's just kinda a nice place for them. Seriously, crows are a real problem there!

Why is psychic weak to bug?
Cause psychic is kinda OP, but the lack of bug moves in Gen 1 kinda made this weakness pointless.

Why do children get cancer?
Cancer is a varied and diverse group of diseases. Many of them are genetic and manifest at quite a young age.

Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus?
Poseidon's son is the Cyclops Polyphemus, who captured and intended to eat Odysseus. Odysseus blinded Polyphemus to escape, pissing Poseidon off.

Why is there ice in space?
There's no heat to melt it.

Why is there no king in England?
The husbands of Queens do not take the title King but rather that of Prince Consort, and do not rule. The wives of kings do take the title Queen, though they also do not rule. (Rule being used loosely, to mean something like "sit around and wave at crowds")

Why are dogs afraid of fireworks?
Better question: Why are people not afraid of explosions in the sky? (Fireworks, not the band Explosions in the Sky. They seem like nice people and as far as I'm aware there's no reason to fear them.)

Why is there an owl in my backyard?
Hey, owls need places to chill, and I don't think they understand property concepts.

Why is there an owl outside my window?
Huh. I don't think it's spying on you or something. It's just chilling, I don't think owls even realize what a window is...

Why is there an owl on the dollar bill?
Well, normally I'd tell you there's not an owl on the dollar bill, you're just seeing patterns where there aren't any. But given the last two questions, holy shit, guys this goes all the way up. Maybe the President is an owl. Maybe ALL THE PRESIDENTS WERE OWLS.

Why do owls attack people?
It's begun! The Owl Revolution is upon us. Finally, Owl George Washington's ancient plot to use America to dominate the world, smoothing the way for nocturnal dominance has come to fruition. (Seriously though, owl attacks are fairly rare, but it's possible these owls were rescued by people who didn't know how to raise owls. When they're released, they don't know how to hunt, and mistakenly attack humans.)

Why are AK47s so expensive?
Hey, if you're looking to kill someone in style, you have to expect to pay a premium for that.

Why are helicopters circling my house?
I don't know, are you googling the prices of various firearms?

Why are there gods?
You'd have to ask them, I suppose.

Why are there two Spocks?
To sell cars.

Why is Mt Vesuvius there?
The African plate was subducted beneath the Eurasian plate. This caused the water in the oceanic African plate to boil, melting the rock. Magma is less dense than rock, so it pushed through, breaking through the crust and forming the volcano.

Why do they say T Minus?
It probably stands for time. Acronyms and other methods of shortening speech are used to keep communication channels open.

Why are there obelisks?
It's been hypothesized that the Ancient Egyptians built obelisks to resemble "sun pillars", cause they were really into the sun. The obelisk as a monument was passed down to us through the Romans.

Why are wrestlers always wet?
Googling this gets you porn on the first page. Someone else should go down this list of questions, not with answers, but with how many pages in you find porn. Anyway, wrestling is sweaty business.

Why are oceans becoming more acidic?
Because as we release CO2 into the atmosphere, that CO2 gets dissolved into the ocean. Some of that CO2 reacts with water to form carbonic acid.

Why is Arwen dying?
One of the few things I find more boring than Star Trek is LotR, so I'm going to let the other, very good, answers already given on this topic suffice.

Why aren't my quails laying eggs?
The most common cause of this seems to be lack of light. You want a steady light imitating sunlight to shine for 14 hours a day so your quails lay year-round.

Why aren't my quail eggs hatching?
Well, make sure they are good fertile eggs. Humidity, temperature and time in the incubator are all important, and vary for the variety of quail.

Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America?
Generally, foreign military bases are established in former colonies, or in countries that agree to do host, presumably in exchange for protection from the larger military. The US doesn't particularly need protection, since it's doing a lot of the protecting.

Why are my boobs itchy?
It may be a sign of some disease, but if it's just a simple itch, it may be because your breasts are growing. If it lasts, or is so severe that it's causing problems, then talk to a doctor.

Why are cigarettes legal?
Because it's a lot of work to ban things, especially things that have been around as long as cigarettes.

Why are there ducks in my pool?
Ducks! They like water. Your pool has water.

Why is Jesus white?
If Jesus did exist, he wasn't white. But depictions of him commonly are, because people like their deities to look like them. Many Christian denominations don't mind, or even encourage, diverse depictions of Jesus.

Why is their liquid in my ear?
Fluid in the ear can be caused by a few things, including infection. It's often not a serious problem and will clear up on its own, but you may need to see a doctor.

Why do Q Tips feel good?
I know right? Earwax sucks. You shouldn't do this, since it's bad for your ears and stuff. I assume you're talking about ears. You're talking about ears, right?

Why do good people die?
Ernest Hemingway wrote:If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry


Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter?
...

Why are ultrasounds important?
So you know why there's a kicking in your stomach.

Why are ultrasound machines expensive?
You know you can just... get an ultrasound at the doctor? You don't need to do it yourself.

Why is stealing wrong?
Good question. By the way, I took your car.


Wow. Good effort!

I will just expand on two of the questions...

1. Why is Ohio weather so weird? Actually (being in Dayton Ohio) there's a reason our weather seems, shall we say, 'unstable' (at least unpredictable). The two major prevailing weather systems in the middle of the United States are one coming 'down' and Eastward from the Northern end of the Rocky Mountains, and one coming 'up' and Eastward from the Gulf of Mexico. The boundary between the northern weather system and the southern one is often right through the Cincinnati - Dayton area and it is often the case that weather in Cincinnati and Dayton are quite different (on either side of that 'boundary' between the two competing weather systems). The location of the boundary involves judging the relative strengths of the two systems, rendering the predictions around here so unreliable. The boundary can move a little (a few miles) causing us to see completely different weather (leading to the old saw, "Don't like the weather? Hang around a few minutes - it'll change.")

2. Why aren't bullets sharp? Same reason the noses of dolphins, airliners, torpedoes, and the fastest submarines are also rounded instead of sharp. The physics of moving a solid object through a fluid (air or water) at high speeds work out that the right rounded shape goes faster with less energy (sort of pushing the fluid out of the way) than the physics of 'wedging' your way through the fluid with a point or sharp edge. The compression caused by knifing through the fluid can require more energy to overcome than that required to move the optimally-shaped round-nosed object through the fluid. Counter-intuitive but true (ask a Dolphin).[citation needed]

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da Doctah
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby da Doctah » Mon Aug 26, 2013 8:34 pm UTC

From Wikipedia:

Why (O'odham: Ban Hi:nk) is a tiny unincorporated rural community in Pima County, Arizona, United States.

(My immediate reaction: isn't "tiny" a bit, er, subjective for a serious Wiki entry?)

Seraph
Posts: 343
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Seraph » Mon Aug 26, 2013 9:14 pm UTC

enumerated powers wrote:2. Why aren't bullets sharp? Same reason the noses of dolphins, airliners, torpedoes, and the fastest submarines are also rounded instead of sharp. The physics of moving a solid object through a fluid (air or water) at high speeds work out that the right rounded shape goes faster with less energy (sort of pushing the fluid out of the way) than the physics of 'wedging' your way through the fluid with a point or sharp edge. The compression caused by knifing through the fluid can require more energy to overcome than that required to move the optimally-shaped round-nosed object through the fluid. Counter-intuitive but true (ask a Dolphin).[citation needed]

I think the answer to this is that the question is flawed. Lots of bullets are 'sharp'.
I don't think those are valid comparisons. Submarines, Torpedoes, Dolphins, and airliners are all subsonic (in addition everything but the airliners are going REALLY slow in a relatively uncompressable medium). Bullets are almost always supersonic, which to me would suggest you'd want to design for the area rule if you're seeking to limit drag and end up with a Sears Haack body shape. I'd guess that in the end this gives you the Spitzer bullet.

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Djehutynakht
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Djehutynakht » Mon Aug 26, 2013 9:41 pm UTC

Maybe Wednesday's comic is the answers.

Fire Brns
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Fire Brns » Mon Aug 26, 2013 10:05 pm UTC

Ants, carpenter ants to be precise, like electricity for whatever reason and will nest inside walls along wires or in computers. This can become such a problem that they can overheat and damage electrical devices.

I had an infestation once...
Last edited by Fire Brns on Mon Aug 26, 2013 10:47 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Pfhorrest wrote:As someone who is not easily offended, I don't really mind anything in this conversation.
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:It was the Renaissance. Everyone was Italian.

Kit.
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby Kit. » Mon Aug 26, 2013 10:21 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:What do you see when you look at this:
Image

Image

dii
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Re: 1256: "Questions"

Postby dii » Mon Aug 26, 2013 11:12 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:
Jorpho wrote:I like how the comic neatly captures a certain existential despair. There are only questions, questions shouted every which way, always questions, and never answers.


What do you see when you look at this:
rorschach-test.jpg


Two ponderous panda bears hide behind a fat lady in pajamas.


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