1267: "Mess"

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1267: "Mess"

Postby RAGBRAIvet » Fri Sep 20, 2013 4:04 am UTC

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Alt Text: 'Sorry, I left out my glass of water from last night.'  OH GOD I APPARENTLY LIVE IN A GARBAGE PIT.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Or, as my mother was fond of saying, in the worst pigsty she had ever seen.
Which of course made me wonder when and how she became such an expert on pigstys.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Icalasari » Fri Sep 20, 2013 4:09 am UTC

GOD DAMMIT RANDALL! CEASE OCCUPYING THE CRANIUM WHICH HAS BEEN IN MY POSSESSION SINCE BIRTH!

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby rhomboidal » Fri Sep 20, 2013 4:09 am UTC

I just leave a vacuum and bottle of Windex always out so people will at least think I'm about to clean up the place.

Silly people.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby myrcutio » Fri Sep 20, 2013 4:15 am UTC

It bugs the crap out of me when people say this about their cars. My car has a three foot deep sea of trash in the backseat, your single sweaty sock on the floorboards does not phase me.
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby PsiSquared » Fri Sep 20, 2013 4:22 am UTC

Icalasari wrote:GOD DAMMIT RANDALL! CEASE OCCUPYING THE CRANIUM WHICH HAS BEEN IN MY POSSESSION SINCE BIRTH!


I guess about half the members in these forums (including me) think GOOMHR on this particular comic. :-)

Oh, and as a side note, I find it amusing that the XKCD forum system has no problem with the phrase "God Dammit", yet it treats the three letters "O-M-G" (without the hyphens) as an offensive word which must be replaced.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Quicksilver » Fri Sep 20, 2013 4:24 am UTC

myrcutio wrote:It bugs the crap out of me when people say this about their cars. My car has a three foot deep sea of trash in the backseat, your single sweaty sock on the floorboards does not phase me.
This. I clean my car once a week and it still stays messy.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby gmalivuk » Fri Sep 20, 2013 4:36 am UTC

PsiSquared wrote:
Icalasari wrote:GOD DAMMIT RANDALL! CEASE OCCUPYING THE CRANIUM WHICH HAS BEEN IN MY POSSESSION SINCE BIRTH!


I guess about half the members in these forums (including me) think GOOMHR on this particular comic. :-)

Oh, and as a side note, I find it amusing that the XKCD forum system has no problem with the phrase "God Dammit", yet it treats the three letters "O-M-G" (without the hyphens) as an offensive word which must be replaced.
It's not censored because it's profane. We have no problem with profanity here, and God can go fuck Himself if He disagrees.

It's censored because it was deemed overused, and so some moderator or other decided to replace it with something we found funnier.
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby CharonPDX » Fri Sep 20, 2013 4:53 am UTC

This one is absolute pure unadulterated truth right here...

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Djehutynakht » Fri Sep 20, 2013 5:27 am UTC

This is a universal trend.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby edenist » Fri Sep 20, 2013 5:41 am UTC

Oh me yarm

^Wanted to see what was "funnier" than o-m-g...... mission achieved......

Otherwise, I've visited the places of most of the people who come round to mine, so I've got a scale of how messy my place can be before I feel the need to apologise.
Needless to say, with most of my friends this is basically never.

My wife, on the other hand, has yet to develop this scale. Every time *anyone* comes over, it's battlestations to make sure they don't see what such "slobs" we are.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby gingermrkettle » Fri Sep 20, 2013 6:06 am UTC

Although is it me or have they just knocked the door off its hinges with the first character stepping on it (which would be something to apologise for)?

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Ilze123 » Fri Sep 20, 2013 6:10 am UTC

I have the philosophy that as long as you can "see" the mess and you know you need to clean up one day (but not today) you are safe. But when you descend downwards not caring, or worse not seeing the mess you need to get help. There is a difference between some healthy mess and a cluttered house filled with rubbish.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby da Doctah » Fri Sep 20, 2013 6:28 am UTC

Ilze123 wrote:I have the philosophy that as long as you can "see" the mess and you know you need to clean up one day (but not today) you are safe. But when you descend downwards not caring, or worse not seeing the mess you need to get help. There is a difference between some healthy mess and a cluttered house filled with rubbish.
Why must it be one or the other? Why can't we have both?

(To get round the censorship thing also under discussion, I recommend "OM actual G". Failing that, use "歐賣尬" which was the subtitle transcription used at the beginning of Amber Kuo's song "Kuai Yi Dian" when she sings "Oh my god!", pronounced "Ōu mài gà" and apparently translating as "Europe sell embarrassed".)

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby keithl » Fri Sep 20, 2013 6:52 am UTC

myrcutio wrote:... My car has a three foot deep sea of trash in the backseat ...
That is unsafe. Trash impedes the free rolling movements of the empty beer bottles, whose clinking acts as a turn and bank indicator for the inebriated driver.

Empty beer bottles on the bedroom floor cause the occupant to slip, fall, and pass out. That keeps them from driving. Another safety feature.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Sep 20, 2013 7:15 am UTC

RAGBRAIvet wrote:Or, as my mother was fond of saying, in the worst pigsty she had ever seen.
Which of course made me wonder when and how she became such an expert on pigsties.

She doesn't have to be an expert on pigsties for the words to be true. It does, however, mean that your room is a pigsty. This I assume not to be true. It might be as messy and smelly as one, but I assume that the main function is not "living quarters for animals in the genus Sus".

"My house is more messy than the worst pigsty I have ever seen" doesn't mean that I have seen any pigsties. It could be squeaky clean and the words could still be true, assuming that I have never seen a pigsty.
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby grafzero » Fri Sep 20, 2013 7:54 am UTC

They do it on purpose!
First they clean room perfect, then leave a single "mess" item.
Then they apologize, just to make sure that you will notice how clean it is.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby azule » Fri Sep 20, 2013 7:58 am UTC

I'm of the belief that if you're okay living in this pigsty right now...then why do you give a chirp if that's how it looks when someone visits? Part of the belief is that I then have to believe that I'm not important enough to get the shiny room treatment, but some family member that rarely visits or, even worse, a stranger gets the good stuff. I actually do like having a neat house, but not just for visitors. I'm not running a bed and breakfast.
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Wooloomooloo » Fri Sep 20, 2013 8:12 am UTC

azule wrote:I'm of the belief that if you're okay living in this pigsty right now...then why do you give a chirp if that's how it looks when someone visits?

My guess is the idea behind the whole thing is conveying something like "you got me at a bad moment here, my room doesn't normally look like that, and I want to make sure you understand that". A rather questionable assertion nonetheless, I agree.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby azule » Fri Sep 20, 2013 8:21 am UTC

On the comic, yes. I was on a tangent for my comment, sorry.

I usually apologize for the half pigsty still left after I try to clean up. lol. So, it's a real apology for a real mess. Caught me at a bad time...is all the time. lol.
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Linux0s » Fri Sep 20, 2013 8:50 am UTC

Pigstyle I say.
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby orthogon » Fri Sep 20, 2013 8:59 am UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:"My house is more messy than the worst pigsty I have ever seen" doesn't mean that I have seen any pigsties. It could be squeaky clean and the words could still be true, assuming that I have never seen a pigsty.

Aha, is this vacuous truth again?
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Klear » Fri Sep 20, 2013 9:05 am UTC

rhomboidal wrote:I just leave a vacuum and bottle of Windex always out so people will at least think I'm about to clean up the place.

Silly people.


I stopped and thought for a while how and why are you storing vacuum and how does absence of air constitute a mess, until I got it.

da Doctah wrote:
Ilze123 wrote:I have the philosophy that as long as you can "see" the mess and you know you need to clean up one day (but not today) you are safe. But when you descend downwards not caring, or worse not seeing the mess you need to get help. There is a difference between some healthy mess and a cluttered house filled with rubbish.
Why must it be one or the other? Why can't we have both?

(To get round the censorship thing also under discussion, I recommend "OM actual G". Failing that, use "歐賣尬" which was the subtitle transcription used at the beginning of Amber Kuo's song "Kuai Yi Dian" when she sings "Oh my god!", pronounced "Ōu mài gà" and apparently translating as "Europe sell embarrassed".)


I was about to suggest inserting F in there, but I see it's already been taken care of.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Pfhorrest » Fri Sep 20, 2013 9:11 am UTC

orthogon wrote:vacuous truth

rhomboidal wrote:I just leave a vacuum and bottle of Windex

Klear wrote:why are you storing vacuum and how does absence of air constitute a mess

I saw these all within sight on the same screen and in my sleep-deprived state took a moment trying to figure out how in the space of one post "vacuous truth" got interpreted first into something to do with vacuum cleaners and then into the absence of air...

Vacuous truth, n.: a claim which is only true in a vacuum (preferably a spherical claim in a frictionless vacuum, the kind that's easiest to roll around on your carpet)
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby markfiend » Fri Sep 20, 2013 9:25 am UTC

Quentin Crisp - "There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse."
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby EricN » Fri Sep 20, 2013 9:56 am UTC

When people whose home is almost perfectly clean do that, then it's called "fishing for compliments". They're giving you an opportunity to flatter them. It's a social lubricant in an uncomfortable situation: granting access to their private home to someone whose opinion they value. It does not mean that they actually believe that their home is a mess.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby orthogon » Fri Sep 20, 2013 10:11 am UTC

Klear wrote:why are you storing vacuum and how does absence of air constitute a mess

"I went round to her place, and I kid you not, there were nitrogen molecules literally from floor to ceiling!"

Pfhorrest wrote:Vacuous truth, n.: a claim which is only true in a vacuum (preferably a spherical claim in a frictionless vacuum, the kind that's easiest to roll around on your carpet)

In space, no-one can hear your counterargument.
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby peewee_RotA » Fri Sep 20, 2013 10:55 am UTC

I definitely got tired of hearing this conversation because it happens every day! It's insane. Especially if you ride in someone's car. Some married guy with no kids will have a pizza box in the back seat and apologize for it. You just say: "Wait till you have kids" with an evil smirk.

ANYWAY, I wanted to comment because I actually decided that instead of going insane from hearing this, I'd start to make some observations and I think I have it figured out. First, dudes definitely do not do this instinctively. They learn it from their mothers or wives. Prolonged absence from the female influence will make us guys unashamed of our messes. It's totally a woman thing, and they do it for a reason.

So why do they do it? Well it's because they want to lie about the appearance of their homes. If what you see is a mess, then "clean" must involve twice daily carpet cleanings and spending the rest of your day in a hyperboluic chamber. You're trying to impress upon the person next to you that your house is always pretty clean, because if they saw it otherwise, they might try to "take your kids away," or notify your friends that you are too dirty to talk to anymore! Subtract the onlooker and the house will return to a cluttered mess that smells like rotting apples. (rotting apples because they bought that scent from some stupid candle store).

Women just have these fears for some reason, however irrational they seem. Nobody is going to take their kids away for refusing to vacuum for 2 weeks a month a year. They have to prove things to themselves to keep up their self esteem. Men are sorta like this too, but it's usually about work or video games. Nothing nearly as important as the fear that your friends and family may shun you for your horrible dirty house. Well anyway, you do have a horrible dirty house. And so does everybody else. We all just keep cleaning it and then apologizing later.

(P.S. I know plenty of women that are proud of their messes, especially if they live on a farm)


(P.S.S. To anyone who is going to play the sexism card.. #1 GO TO HELL, NOBODY LIKES PC-DOUCHETARDS, #2 You clearly haven't seen a spat between a woman and her mother in law)
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Klear » Fri Sep 20, 2013 11:32 am UTC

peewee_RotA wrote:ANYWAY, I wanted to comment because I actually decided that instead of going insane from hearing this, I'd start to make some observations and I think I have it figured out. First, dudes definitely do not do this instinctively. They learn it from their mothers or wives. Prolonged absence from the female influence will make us guys unashamed of our messes. It's totally a woman thing, and they do it for a reason.

So why do they do it? Well it's because they want to lie about the appearance of their homes. If what you see is a mess, then "clean" must involve twice daily carpet cleanings and spending the rest of your day in a hyperboluic chamber. You're trying to impress upon the person next to you that your house is always pretty clean, because if they saw it otherwise, they might try to "take your kids away," or notify your friends that you are too dirty to talk to anymore! Subtract the onlooker and the house will return to a cluttered mess that smells like rotting apples. (rotting apples because they bought that scent from some stupid candle store).

Women just have these fears for some reason, however irrational they seem. Nobody is going to take their kids away for refusing to vacuum for 2 weeks a month a year. They have to prove things to themselves to keep up their self esteem. Men are sorta like this too, but it's usually about work or video games. Nothing nearly as important as the fear that your friends and family may shun you for your horrible dirty house. Well anyway, you do have a horrible dirty house. And so does everybody else. We all just keep cleaning it and then apologizing later.

(P.S. I know plenty of women that are proud of their messes, especially if they live on a farm)


(P.S.S. To anyone who is going to play the sexism card.. #1 GO TO HELL, NOBODY LIKES PC-DOUCHETARDS, #2 You clearly haven't seen a spat between a woman and her mother in law)


The way I see it, in prehistoric times women took care of children/living space, while on the other hand men liked to display their trophies all over the place. It makes sense that women have greater disposition for neatness, though who knows whether it is genetic or cultural. Probably both.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby pkcommando » Fri Sep 20, 2013 11:43 am UTC

I find it amusing to know my mother vigorously cleans the house before I or any of my other siblings visits. Because A)it's not like we never saw it messy when we were growing up, and B)it's just her, my father, and a cat - the place doesn't really get messy/dirty anyway. "Ugh, that stack of magazines isn't perfectly straight, gimme back that World's Best Mom mug. You don't deserve it anymore." :lol:

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby cellocgw » Fri Sep 20, 2013 11:46 am UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:
"My house is more messy than the worst pigsty I have ever seen" doesn't mean that I have seen any pigsties. It could be squeaky clean and the words could still be true, assuming that I have never seen a pigsty.


Been reading Lewis Carroll recently ? :mrgreen:

It's like the old joke about the baseball game between the enlisted men and the officers. Postgame wrapup by the officers' press secretary: "Congratulations to the officers' team, which finished the season with only one loss, and condolences to the enlisted men, who managed but a single win for the season."

Meanwhile... I'm still trying to figure out whether GLR is complaining about neatnik friends, or just going all George Carlin on the social requirement to be self-deprecating about one's general appearance.
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby cellocgw » Fri Sep 20, 2013 11:49 am UTC

gmalivuk wrote:
PsiSquared wrote:Oh, and as a side note, I find it amusing that the XKCD forum system has no problem with the phrase "God Dammit", yet it treats the three letters "O-M-G" (without the hyphens) as an offensive word which must be replaced.
It's not censored because it's profane. We have no problem with profanity here, and God can go fuck Himself if He disagrees.

It's censored because it was deemed overused, and so some moderator or other decided to replace it with something we found funnier.


Which leads me to wonder -- when is some creative (or bored) mod going to set up some autocorrect terms for "chirping" and "otter" and "mustard" ? :twisted:
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Ilze123 » Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:04 pm UTC

pkcommando wrote:I find it amusing to know my mother vigorously cleans the house before I or any of my other siblings visits. Because A)it's not like we never saw it messy when we were growing up, and B)it's just her, my father, and a cat - the place doesn't really get messy/dirty anyway. "Ugh, that stack of magazines isn't perfectly straight, gimme back that World's Best Mom mug. You don't deserve it anymore." :lol:

true enough. When people visit us it motivates to do (some) cleaning.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby ThemePark » Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:26 pm UTC

RAGBRAIvet wrote:Or, as my mother was fond of saying, in the worst pigsty she had ever seen.
Which of course made me wonder when and how she became such an expert on pigstys.


Or as my dad always told me, "Your room looks like the destruction of Jerusalem!"

azule wrote:I'm of the belief that if you're okay living in this pigsty right now...then why do you give a chirp if that's how it looks when someone visits? Part of the belief is that I then have to believe that I'm not important enough to get the shiny room treatment, but some family member that rarely visits or, even worse, a stranger gets the good stuff. I actually do like having a neat house, but not just for visitors. I'm not running a bed and breakfast.


Because you can not leave a bad impression with your guests. They might think your house IS a mess, and if you don't excuse it they might further think "And (s)he doesn't even care about it! We can never see you again!"

Ilze123 wrote:I have the philosophy that as long as you can "see" the mess and you know you need to clean up one day (but not today) you are safe. But when you descend downwards not caring, or worse not seeing the mess you need to get help. There is a difference between some healthy mess and a cluttered house filled with rubbish.


This. And I've got you all beaten. A friend of mine (yes, a real friend, not just a made-up friend that's actually me) at a dorm I lived at, lived in a pigsty. Hadn't cleaned for months, dirty dishes all over the place, along with tobacco, empty bottles and an open fry cooker that hadn't had oil changed since Methusalem lived.
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby markfiend » Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:38 pm UTC

peewee_RotA wrote:To anyone who is going to play the sexism card.. #1 GO TO HELL, NOBODY LIKES PC-DOUCHETARDS

Translation: "I am aware that I've said something incredibly stupid and offensive and I'm going to pre-emptively attempt to defuse the situation by labelling anyone who wants to call me out on it as a 'douchetard'."
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Verteiron » Fri Sep 20, 2013 1:16 pm UTC

EricN wrote:When people whose home is almost perfectly clean do that, then it's called "fishing for compliments". They're giving you an opportunity to flatter them. It's a social lubricant in an uncomfortable situation: granting access to their private home to someone whose opinion they value. It does not mean that they actually believe that their home is a mess.


According to John Cleese, the correct response to "I'm sorry the place is such a mess." is "Oh, not at all, I enjoy a little squalor."

I have used this myself to great effect though, strangely, I was not invited back. Clearly they were intimidated by my wit.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Whizbang » Fri Sep 20, 2013 1:25 pm UTC

One of the secretaries in my first elementary school had a sign on her desk that read "If a messy desk is a sign of a messy mind, what's an empty desk a sign of?"

This has stuck with me ever since, and I have transferred the idea to all aspects of my life. I don't want people to think I got nothin' going on. A messy house, car, yard, desk, etc. means I am busy and have a lot of interesting things going on and I don't have time to straighten up.

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Sep 20, 2013 1:47 pm UTC

gmalivuk wrote:
PsiSquared wrote:
Icalasari wrote:GOD DAMMIT RANDALL! CEASE OCCUPYING THE CRANIUM WHICH HAS BEEN IN MY POSSESSION SINCE BIRTH!


I guess about half the members in these forums (including me) think GOOMHR on this particular comic. :-)

Oh, and as a side note, I find it amusing that the XKCD forum system has no problem with the phrase "God Dammit", yet it treats the three letters "O-M-G" (without the hyphens) as an offensive word which must be replaced.
It's not censored because it's profane. We have no problem with profanity here, and God can go fuck Himself if He disagrees.

It's censored because it was deemed overused, and so some moderator or other decided to replace it with something we found funnier.

It was me. And the first is why. Because every time I saw it - a phrase that should be reserved for the revelation that someone you thought was okay once punched a baby - it was used for something of no importance or consequence.

Also, it's hilarious.

The cream soda one is still around, right? I can never remember what triggers that one.
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Klear » Fri Sep 20, 2013 2:33 pm UTC

pkcommando wrote:B)it's just her, my father, and a cat - the place doesn't really get messy/dirty anyway. "Ugh, that stack of magazines isn't perfectly straight, gimme back that World's Best Mom mug. You don't deserve it anymore." :lol:


Don't underestimate cats and their mess-making abilities. Especially when they live right next to a sentence which includes "stack of magazines".

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Whizbang
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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby Whizbang » Fri Sep 20, 2013 2:49 pm UTC

Klear wrote:
pkcommando wrote:B)it's just her, my father, and a cat - the place doesn't really get messy/dirty anyway. "Ugh, that stack of magazines isn't perfectly straight, gimme back that World's Best Mom mug. You don't deserve it anymore." :lol:


Don't underestimate cats and their mess-making abilities. Especially when they live right next to a sentence which includes "stack of magazines".


Your-lamp-was-hideous.jpg

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Re: 1267: "Mess"

Postby galibert » Fri Sep 20, 2013 4:37 pm UTC

markfiend wrote:
peewee_RotA wrote:To anyone who is going to play the sexism card.. #1 GO TO HELL, NOBODY LIKES PC-DOUCHETARDS

Translation: "I am aware that I've said something incredibly stupid and offensive and I'm going to pre-emptively attempt to defuse the situation by labelling anyone who wants to call me out on it as a 'douchetard'."


Offensive maybe (I kinda doubt it), stupid definitively not. Denying the impact of cultural environment and upbriging on one's behaviour, or that said environment and upbringing was (and still is) gender-dependent is naive at best.

OG.


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