1294: "Telescope Names"

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1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Story » Fri Nov 22, 2013 5:23 am UTC

Image

The Thirty Meter Telescope will be renamed The Flesh-Searing Eye on the Volcano.


Replace telescope with cookie, and this is pretty much how Cookie Clicker goes.

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rhomboidal
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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby rhomboidal » Fri Nov 22, 2013 5:26 am UTC

Sauron's real sinister ambition was peeping on the Elves.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby cjmcjmcjmcjm » Fri Nov 22, 2013 5:33 am UTC

rhomboidal wrote:Sauron's real sinister ambition was peeping on the Elves.

Who wouldn't like to see some beautiful elven boobs? Or three-breasted Martian ladies?
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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby keithl » Fri Nov 22, 2013 6:37 am UTC

How about the "so big that the Sun will be a blackened cinder by the time the light reaches the objective from the mirror" Telescope?

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da Doctah
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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby da Doctah » Fri Nov 22, 2013 6:45 am UTC

The Mother of All Telescopes was scrapped after Saddam fell.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Djehutynakht » Fri Nov 22, 2013 6:54 am UTC

Jumboscope?


Personally, I would love to own something called the nightmare scope.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Vanzetti » Fri Nov 22, 2013 7:20 am UTC

The Final Telescope has a better resolution than reality.

Alternatively, The Final Telescope is constructed from all the matter in the universe and observes itself.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Klear » Fri Nov 22, 2013 9:16 am UTC

Yo mama telescope.

Hmmm... hadron colliders only have a large one and a theoretical "very large" one.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby orthogon » Fri Nov 22, 2013 9:28 am UTC

Klear wrote:Yo mama telescope.

Hmmm... hadron colliders only have a large one and a theoretical "very large" one.

Yeah, those guys at CERN are pretty restrained. I was thinking they had a Giant European Torus, but actually it's just the Joint European Torus, and that's nothing to do with CERN, apparently. Plenty of room for expansion there.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby PlayMp1 » Fri Nov 22, 2013 9:50 am UTC

Does it occur to anyone else that these are effectively item descriptors from RPGs?

Astronomers aren't in it for the Science!, they're in it for the +4 Telescope of Devastation that the quest subject will give them once they turn in their findings regarding exosolar planets.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby musashi1600 » Fri Nov 22, 2013 10:49 am UTC

Story wrote:"The Thirty Meter Telescope will be renamed The Flesh-Searing Eye on the Volcano."


Alternatively, some Native Hawaiians would call it "One Telescope Too Many."

(IMO, this LiveScience op-ed does a good job of explaining why there are people on Big Island who are unhappy with the Thirty Meter Telescope being built, misuse of the term "Hawaiian" notwithstanding.)
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Postby groszdani » Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:09 am UTC

Uncountable telescope, ℵ₂ telescope...

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby leidentech » Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:16 am UTC

Vanzetti wrote:The Final Telescope has a better resolution than reality.

Alternatively, The Final Telescope is constructed from all the matter in the universe and observes itself.

The ultimate selfie.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Klear » Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:56 am UTC

Vanzetti wrote:Alternatively, The Final Telescope is constructed from all the matter in the universe and observes itself.


So... it pretty much already exists.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby pepper » Fri Nov 22, 2013 2:10 pm UTC

I'd like to humbly suggest that only way to win this game is to go the other direction:

KELT: The Kilodegree Extremely Little Telescope

It's the cure for aperture envy.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Mikeski » Fri Nov 22, 2013 2:10 pm UTC

Microchip manufacturers gave up on this decades ago... we've been on "very large scale" integration for almost my whole lifetime. (There were small, medium, and large scales before VLSI.)

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Nnelg » Fri Nov 22, 2013 2:22 pm UTC

"The Infinite Telescope" sounds like it actually will be used one day. And I can see a "Project Palantír" going down, too.

And I wouldn't be surprised if someday, someone managed to sneak in an E.O.S. acronym somewhere. :P
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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby hermitian » Fri Nov 22, 2013 2:44 pm UTC

Reminds me of radio frequencies:

High Frequency
Very High Frequency
Ultra High Frequency
Super High Frequency
Extremely High Frequency
Tremendously High Frequency*

*While it is called THF, I am not sure if the "tremendously" part is official.

In my opinion, it is not immediately obvious is if ultra, super, or extremely is higher.

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John Romberg
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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby John Romberg » Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:03 pm UTC

The Telescope of destiny comes *after* the final one.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby speising » Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:10 pm UTC

reminds me of things that are called, eg. "New Technology" (NT)

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Zassounotsukushi » Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:16 pm UTC

It's kind of funny, because in a cosmic sense none of the telescopes we have today are really that large.

If we ever become relatively effective at use of space resources, then the standard will be telescopes as large as the Earth, or larger. At least that will be true for the area over which the mirrors are spread. There are lots of reasonable proposals you can come up with for the long-term that aren't all that unobtainable technologically, we just need better capabilities in space.

http://nextbigfuture.com/2012/04/planet ... ively.html

Then ultimately, there's gravitational lensing. It could give very detailed pictures of objects very far away (after processing). But the tradeoff is that you can only really observe one thing at a time, and you have to move the "telescope" into the correct location, opposite of the sun, from the object you want to view.

For any space faring civilization, this type of activity would certainly occupy a large amount of their resources. After all, if you're going to go places, you need to know where to go. There also happens to be a lot out there...

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Klear » Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:20 pm UTC

hermitian wrote:Reminds me of radio frequencies:

High Frequency
Very High Frequency
Ultra High Frequency
Super High Frequency
Extremely High Frequency
Tremendously High Frequency*

*While it is called THF, I am not sure if the "tremendously" part is official.

In my opinion, it is not immediately obvious is if ultra, super, or extremely is higher.


Subjectively, I'd rate it ultra > super, with extremely standing a bit to the side (=no idea where to put it)

Doing a bit of research, ultra seems to mean "beyond", super means "above"/"over", extremely "outermost"/"last", though it's lost the superlative status and nowadays stands probably for "very close to the edge of the scale". Tremendous is related to "tremble", it's not just a lot, but a lot in a bad way. Terrible, awful, dreadful, though it's been used for positive things for at least 200 years, same as the words "terrible", "awful", and such.

So I guess extremely should win that as the only superlative present, though it could be argued that the "above" and "beyond" of "super" and "ultra" means beyond the superlative.


In closing, the frequencies are sorted perfectly because the words get longer which is nice =)

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby orthogon » Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:22 pm UTC

hermitian wrote:Reminds me of radio frequencies:

High Frequency
Very High Frequency
Ultra High Frequency
Super High Frequency
Extremely High Frequency
Tremendously High Frequency*

*While it is called THF, I am not sure if the "tremendously" part is official.

In my opinion, it is not immediately obvious is if ultra, super, or extremely is higher.


I agree, they obviously used "Ultra" way too soon and had nowhere left to go after that. My personal ranking would go high->very high->extremely high->tremendously high->super high->ultra high.

As the bands below VHF become unusable, owing to (wo-)man-made interference, the names are going to seem increasingly silly.

You ninja'd me with this, then Klear ninja'd my edited response, so I'm just going to submit and be damned.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Steve the Pocket » Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:40 pm UTC

When I learned that the Large Hadron Collider was named for its own size (and not, say, because it was designed to collide something called "large hadrons", which somehow sounds more acceptably scientific), I just laughed, shook my head, and posted this Calvin and Hobbes strip.

Never mind sending a poet; they should have hired a team of sci-fi writers and kept 'em on staff for life.
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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby StCredZero » Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:49 pm UTC

Look upon my telescope, ye mighty, and DESPAIR!

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby PinkShinyRose » Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:53 pm UTC

hermitian wrote:Reminds me of radio frequencies:

High Frequency
Very High Frequency
Ultra High Frequency
Super High Frequency
Extremely High Frequency
Tremendously High Frequency*

*While it is called THF, I am not sure if the "tremendously" part is official.

In my opinion, it is not immediately obvious is if ultra, super, or extremely is higher.

I would say ultra should be higher than super... Shouldn't the extremely strictly speaking be at an extreme? I guess that means extremely is correctly positioned (if nobody comes up with more names for higher frequencies). I think high, very high, very very high, 3 very high etc. or high, extra high, extra extra high, 3 extra high etc. would have been clearer (they could be shortened as H, VH, VVH, 3VH or H, XH, XXH, 3XH).

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby postagoras » Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:59 pm UTC

What about the Vortex of Infinite Perspective?

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby orthogon » Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:13 pm UTC

"Boson" always sounded like a great insult to me. "Jane's new bf is a total boson", someone might say. A portmanteau of "bonehead", "loser" and "moron", perhaps.

EDIT: added "loser" to explain the "s".
Last edited by orthogon on Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:26 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Klear » Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:23 pm UTC

Steve the Pocket wrote:When I learned that the Large Hadron Collider was named for its own size (and not, say, because it was designed to collide something called "large hadrons", which somehow sounds more acceptably scientific), I just laughed, shook my head, and posted this Calvin and Hobbes strip.


The strip has a point, except that the fact that there is such a thing as "Dark matter" is totally awesome.

StCredZero wrote:Look upon my telescope, ye mighty, and DESPAIR!


This conjured some rather unpleasant imagery in my head.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby curtis95112 » Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:27 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:"Boson" always sounded like a great insult to me. "Jane's new bf is a total boson", someone might say. A portmanteau of "bonehead", "loser" and "moron", perhaps.


Boron is worse.

Oh I see you added loser.
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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Kit. » Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:45 pm UTC

Nnelg wrote:And I wouldn't be surprised if someday, someone managed to sneak in an E.O.S. acronym somewhere. :P

What's wrong with my Canons?

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby orthogon » Fri Nov 22, 2013 5:01 pm UTC

curtis95112 wrote:
orthogon wrote:"Boson" always sounded like a great insult to me. "Jane's new bf is a total boson", someone might say. A portmanteau of "bonehead", "loser" and "moron", perhaps.


Boron is worse.

Oh I see you added loser.


Yes, a boron is clearly a boring moron. I think boson suggests itself because it's a count noun, whereas boron is a mass noun. I find "vector boson" delicious and might have been tempted to into particle physics just to be able to use it. As it is, the only hope for what remains of my career is that I might one day be able to write and speak legitimately about the Tremendously High Frequency bands.

Also, 3-30THz band is clearly the "Ludicrously High Frequency (LHF)" band.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Vivificient » Fri Nov 22, 2013 5:09 pm UTC

These telescopes sound a lot like the ranks of boy scouts in Welcome to Night Vale!

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Farabor » Fri Nov 22, 2013 6:33 pm UTC

This reminds me of a lecture I attended recently on Large cardinals. This particular chain from the huge cardinal wikipedia page comes to mind:


almost n-huge
super almost n-huge
n-huge
super n-huge
almost n+1-huge

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby JohnTheWysard » Fri Nov 22, 2013 6:39 pm UTC

I'm reminded of the Good Old Days when mass data storage used 3/4" x 2400' magnetic tape reels at three densities: LO (200 bits per inch), HI (556), and Hyper (800). It was considered risky to use HY because it was on the flaky edge of unreliable.

And of course you can now get a thumb drive that could hold the data from a rackful of HY tapes as free swag at most any tech conference.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby orthogon » Fri Nov 22, 2013 7:40 pm UTC

Vanzetti wrote:The Final Telescope has a better resolution than reality.

Alternatively, The Final Telescope is constructed from all the matter in the universe and observes itself.

Perhaps it's both: the final telescope is also the final microscope.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby cantab314 » Fri Nov 22, 2013 8:02 pm UTC

Then there'll be Final Telescope II, FTIII, FTIV, and FTV. Only FTII and FTIII will both be exclusively for Japanese military, so Americans will end up callling FTIV FTII. Then they'll build FTVI, but then the next one won't be FTVII but FTV-2.

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby Copper Bezel » Fri Nov 22, 2013 9:06 pm UTC

leidentech wrote:
Vanzetti wrote:The Final Telescope has a better resolution than reality.

Alternatively, The Final Telescope is constructed from all the matter in the universe and observes itself.

The ultimate selfie.

Where the hell is that Like button, then?
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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby lgw » Fri Nov 22, 2013 9:26 pm UTC

Vanzetti wrote:The Final Telescope has a better resolution than reality.

Alternatively, The Final Telescope is constructed from all the matter in the universe and observes itself.

I have a perfectly accurate model of the universe. It's 1:1 scale.

Klear wrote:Yo mama telescope.

Hmmm... hadron colliders only have a large one and a theoretical "very large" one.

There's was an April issue of Scientific American, years back when the SCSC was still going to happen, where they proposed a particle collider that would sit in Jupiter's orbit (and be made using Jupiter as raw materials, IIRC). Anyone remember what it was called? Ultimate Collider maybe?

orthogon wrote:"Boson" always sounded like a great insult to me. "Jane's new bf is a total boson", someone might say. A portmanteau of "bonehead", "loser" and "moron", perhaps.

EDIT: added "loser" to explain the "s".

That would naturally make Jane a "boson's mate".
"In no set of physics laws do you get two cats." - doogly

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Re: 1294: "Telescope Names"

Postby dalcde » Sat Nov 23, 2013 1:26 am UTC

lgw wrote:Hmmm... hadron colliders only have a large one and a theoretical "very large" one.

There's was an April issue of Scientific American, years back when the SCSC was still going to happen, where they proposed a particle collider that would sit in Jupiter's orbit (and be made using Jupiter as raw materials, IIRC). Anyone remember what it was called? Ultimate Collider maybe?
[/quote]

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