1408: "March of the Penguins"

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alvinhochun
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1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby alvinhochun » Fri Aug 15, 2014 4:24 am UTC

Image

Title text: "You ARE getting older, though."

OK, so how did they die? Someone please tell me.

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Sir Lunch-a-lot
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby Sir Lunch-a-lot » Fri Aug 15, 2014 4:36 am UTC

alvinhochun wrote:OK, so how did they die? Someone please tell me.


Well you see, black hat guy □□□□□ □□□ □□□□□ □□□□□□□ □□ □ □□□□ □□□□□ □□□ □□□□□ □□□□ □□□ □□□, and THAT is why the penguins are all dead. Tragic, really. I hope that was of some help. :D

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rhomboidal
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby rhomboidal » Fri Aug 15, 2014 4:40 am UTC

Man. First, the asteroid, and now Black Hat Guy. Dinosaurs can't catch a break.

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Sir Lunch-a-lot
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby Sir Lunch-a-lot » Fri Aug 15, 2014 4:43 am UTC

rhomboidal wrote:Man. First, the asteroid, and now Black Hat Guy. Dinosaurs can't catch a break.


Maybe if we are quick, we can splice penguin DNA with frog DNA and open our very own Jurassic Park.

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da Doctah
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby da Doctah » Fri Aug 15, 2014 5:25 am UTC

The good news is: they were delicious!

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keithl
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby keithl » Fri Aug 15, 2014 5:43 am UTC

da Doctah wrote:The good news is: they were delicious!
Tastes like chicken! ... If the chickens were fed herring.

Does this mean the next Linux kernel release will be late?

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Envelope Generator
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby Envelope Generator » Fri Aug 15, 2014 6:12 am UTC

alvinhochun wrote:OK, so how did they die? Someone please tell me.


BHG's thoroughgoing Antarctic modernization plan, which involved truncating Happy Feet to the metric system, was deemed a success as zero is a valid truncation.
I'm going to step off the LEM now... here we are, Pismo Beach and all the clams we can eat

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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby Djehutynakht » Fri Aug 15, 2014 6:37 am UTC

Classic BHG, and an inward reference to Randall's own comics.

dalcde
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby dalcde » Fri Aug 15, 2014 6:51 am UTC

Apparently, the last "Oh god" is in response to BHG's "I'm trying to apologize". Like, BHG apologizes?

FOARP
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby FOARP » Fri Aug 15, 2014 7:20 am UTC

15-20 year is the average life-span of a penguin, apparently.

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The Moomin
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby The Moomin » Fri Aug 15, 2014 9:34 am UTC

alvinhochun wrote:Image

Title text: "You ARE getting older, though."

OK, so how did they die? Someone please tell me.


I suspect he was unwrapping them to find the joke.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penguin_(biscuit)
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The cats are alive because I'm alive.
Specious.

Wooloomooloo
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby Wooloomooloo » Fri Aug 15, 2014 11:11 am UTC

Tsk, tsk, tsk BHG, what did you do this time...? Bomb a Linux convention?!?

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cellocgw
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby cellocgw » Fri Aug 15, 2014 11:16 am UTC

Sir Lunch-a-lot wrote:
alvinhochun wrote:OK, so how did they die? Someone please tell me.


Well you see, black hat guy □□□□□ □□□ □□□□□ □□□□□□□ □□ □ □□□□ □□□□□ □□□ □□□□□ □□□□ □□□ □□□, and THAT is why the penguins are all dead. Tragic, really. I hope that was of some help. :D


Well, I'm glad my password worked to unlock your "□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□". Clearly BHG was actually trying... poor guy. The one time he tries to do good, *that* had to happen.

BTW, I can even read the message now on my screen. It's just that when I post the translation, it'll come out as ************************ to you. Same as when you write your password in cleartext. :mrgreen:
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San Fran Sam
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby San Fran Sam » Fri Aug 15, 2014 3:20 pm UTC

Title text: "You ARE getting older, though."

but gracefully...

Now we know what BHG has been up to. can't recall having seen him in a while.

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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby rmsgrey » Fri Aug 15, 2014 3:23 pm UTC

San Fran Sam wrote:Title text: "You ARE getting older, though."

but gracefully...


Speak for yourself!

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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby The Devils Engineer » Fri Aug 15, 2014 3:26 pm UTC

This one made me laugh :lol:

One thing however. Is Randall starting to feel mortal? I was waiting for a time ghost to appear.

G.
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby Djehutynakht » Fri Aug 15, 2014 6:50 pm UTC

dalcde wrote:Apparently, the last "Oh god" is in response to BHG's "I'm trying to apologize". Like, BHG apologizes?



Is it just me, or does "All the birds from March of the Penguins are now dead" sound like it's coming nowhere close to sounding like an apology?

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Pfhorrest
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby Pfhorrest » Fri Aug 15, 2014 6:55 pm UTC

Djehutynakht wrote:
dalcde wrote:Apparently, the last "Oh god" is in response to BHG's "I'm trying to apologize". Like, BHG apologizes?

Is it just me, or does "All the birds from March of the Penguins are now dead" sound like it's coming nowhere close to sounding like an apology?

I think the apology was supposed to follow. Like, you go up to your neighbor, "Your cat got run over. I'm sorry. He was sleeping under my back tire, I didn't see him there..."

BHG's like "All the birds from March of the Penguins are now dead. Sorry. I didn't expect the nanobots to be that virulent. Let's hope they don't develop a taste for human flesh."
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seraku
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby seraku » Sat Aug 16, 2014 3:04 am UTC

Sir Lunch-a-lot wrote:
alvinhochun wrote:OK, so how did they die? Someone please tell me.

Well you see, black hat guy □□□□□ □□□ □□□□□ □□□□□□□ □□ □ □□□□ □□□□□ □□□ □□□□□ □□□□ □□□ □□□, and THAT is why the penguins are all dead. Tragic, really. I hope that was of some help. :D

As I was just reading about Markov chains the other day (in regards to deriving optimal strategy for Monopoly), I thought I would take a stab at "decrypting" your text. Searching for "penguin" on Project Gutenberg produces just five books. (One book is in French, so I used the English translation provided.) After stripping most of the boilerplate text from each work, I compiled a single text corpus for the experiment. Overall, the approach is a simple, brute-force attempt to match likely word chains against the word lengths provided in the "ciphertext". The algorithm first attempts to match the pattern exactly; failing that, it looks for results with progressively increasing error tolerance to account for possible mistakes in the "encryption" process. Word chains are enumerated by considering all word triples within the corpus, noting the word that follows a given leading word pair. (This seems to produce better phrases than predicting the next word based only on a single previous word.)

Results:
Spoiler:

Code: Select all

Corpus Statistics:
  1,169,682 characters
  202,346 words
  30,484 unique words
  124,664 unique word pairs
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Word Chains (with error <= 0): [78 results]
Word Chains (with error <= 1): [2,543 results]
Word Chains (with error <= 2): [39,806 results]
Word Chains (with error <= 3): [459,060 results]
Word Chains (with error <= 4): [4,342,966 results]

Unfortunately, none of the results that match the pattern exactly fit well within the original sentence. In fact, none even start with a verb, which is the most likely starting word. Allowing some awkward grammar, here is the candidate that is the least incoherent (which isn't saying much):

"Well you see, black hat guy being the first promise of a bird which the first time the man, and THAT is why the penguins are all dead."

By allowing for a one letter difference, there are 204 results that at least work within the original context by starting with a verb. However, verbs like "could", "shall" and "would" have the same length and result in similar results. Likewise, many chains end in phrases such as "from the ___" and "with the ___", with a variety of three-letter words at the end. Looking through, here are a few mildly interesting chains for completing the original text:

"Well you see, black hat guy...

  • could not have stopped at a door which she would drop the fur
  • ended her days piously as a duck does, the white from the egg
  • would not allow himself to be seen about the young girl who was
...and THAT is why the penguins are all dead."

JustDoug
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby JustDoug » Sat Aug 16, 2014 7:21 am UTC

alvinhochun wrote:OK, so how did they die? Someone please tell me.


Shooting the next installment of the series: 'Death March of The Penguins."

They should never have allowed Disney to do the choreography for the film.

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Flumble
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby Flumble » Sat Aug 16, 2014 10:48 am UTC

Djehutynakht wrote:
dalcde wrote:Apparently, the last "Oh god" is in response to BHG's "I'm trying to apologize". Like, BHG apologizes?

Is it just me, or does "All the birds from March of the Penguins are now dead" sound like it's coming nowhere close to sounding like an apology?

I think that BHG uses the line "I'm trying to apologize" so the other party grows the hope that BHG has a heart, only to obliviate it when he doesn't apologize. :twisted:

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Sir Lunch-a-lot
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby Sir Lunch-a-lot » Sun Aug 17, 2014 4:53 am UTC

seraku wrote:
Sir Lunch-a-lot wrote:
alvinhochun wrote:OK, so how did they die? Someone please tell me.

Well you see, black hat guy □□□□□ □□□ □□□□□ □□□□□□□ □□ □ □□□□ □□□□□ □□□ □□□□□ □□□□ □□□ □□□, and THAT is why the penguins are all dead. Tragic, really. I hope that was of some help. :D

As I was just reading about Markov chains the other day (in regards to deriving optimal strategy for Monopoly), I thought I would take a stab at "decrypting" your text. Searching for "penguin" on Project Gutenberg produces just five books. (One book is in French, so I used the English translation provided.) After stripping most of the boilerplate text from each work, I compiled a single text corpus for the experiment. Overall, the approach is a simple, brute-force attempt to match likely word chains against the word lengths provided in the "ciphertext". The algorithm first attempts to match the pattern exactly; failing that, it looks for results with progressively increasing error tolerance to account for possible mistakes in the "encryption" process. Word chains are enumerated by considering all word triples within the corpus, noting the word that follows a given leading word pair. (This seems to produce better phrases than predicting the next word based only on a single previous word.)

Results:
Spoiler:

Code: Select all

Corpus Statistics:
  1,169,682 characters
  202,346 words
  30,484 unique words
  124,664 unique word pairs
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Word Chains (with error <= 0): [78 results]
Word Chains (with error <= 1): [2,543 results]
Word Chains (with error <= 2): [39,806 results]
Word Chains (with error <= 3): [459,060 results]
Word Chains (with error <= 4): [4,342,966 results]

Unfortunately, none of the results that match the pattern exactly fit well within the original sentence. In fact, none even start with a verb, which is the most likely starting word. Allowing some awkward grammar, here is the candidate that is the least incoherent (which isn't saying much):

"Well you see, black hat guy being the first promise of a bird which the first time the man, and THAT is why the penguins are all dead."

By allowing for a one letter difference, there are 204 results that at least work within the original context by starting with a verb. However, verbs like "could", "shall" and "would" have the same length and result in similar results. Likewise, many chains end in phrases such as "from the ___" and "with the ___", with a variety of three-letter words at the end. Looking through, here are a few mildly interesting chains for completing the original text:

"Well you see, black hat guy...

  • could not have stopped at a door which she would drop the fur
  • ended her days piously as a duck does, the white from the egg
  • would not allow himself to be seen about the young girl who was
...and THAT is why the penguins are all dead."


lol! Those decryptions are fantastic! It kind of makes me wish I had actually tried to hide something witty there. In reality, I just copied a single square box and pasted it a bunch of times in a pattern that I hoped would sort of resembles the length and spacing in English writing so as to create a censored non-answer.

Seriously, though. Thanks for that, seraku. It really made my day! :)

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Coyoty
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby Coyoty » Mon Aug 18, 2014 2:23 pm UTC

alvinhochun wrote:OK, so how did they die? Someone please tell me.


He was testing the conditions of the Monty Python Exploding Penguin sketch on a larger scale. He underestimated the affinity penguins have for TV sets. Turns out TV sets are warm places, and penguins like warm places, but they are too warm... But now he knows the right temperature and fuse duration to make penguin grenades.

jpvlsmv
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby jpvlsmv » Mon Aug 18, 2014 4:30 pm UTC

Well, xkcd has covered sympathetic apologies before: /945

At least BHG knows what he did.

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Jackpot777
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby Jackpot777 » Wed Aug 20, 2014 1:57 pm UTC

Image

StapleHorseOctopus
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Re: 1408: "March of the Penguins"

Postby StapleHorseOctopus » Mon Sep 01, 2014 8:49 am UTC

The Moomin wrote:
alvinhochun wrote:Image

Title text: "You ARE getting older, though."

OK, so how did they die? Someone please tell me.


I suspect he was unwrapping them to find the joke.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penguin_(biscuit)


Or trying to decrypt their memories to discover the stories they contain:

http://www.penguinclassics.co.uk/

However, he might just have tested whether water is indeed as hard as concrete upon impact by laying a barge with a concrete bottom below the spot those penguins usually use(d) to dive into the sea. :P


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