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1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 4:09 am UTC
by saurgoth
Truly outstanding mouseover text on consecutive comics.

Image
"Mr. President, what if the unthinkable happens? What if the launch goes wrong, and Napoleon is not stranded on the Moon? " "Have Safire write up a speech."

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 4:53 am UTC
by pushingrobot
2285: Our scientists have invented a device that reduces all the matter in a light-year's radius to subatomic particles, then implodes it to an immense spherical heap. It is our hope that this may finally get rid of him.

As a side benefit, the debris pile may be suitable for colonization.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 4:58 am UTC
by rhomboidal
Napoleon was the Houdini of Hitlers.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 5:09 am UTC
by Dr What
Ouch.
Now I'm worrying about Opportunity.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 8:05 am UTC
by bachaddict
Your thread title is correct, but please add the comic image and mouseover text!
Use this code if you don't know how.

Code: Select all

[url=http://xkcd.com/1510/][img]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/napoleon.png[/img][/url]
[i]"Mr. President, what if the unthinkable happens? What if the launch goes wrong, and Napoleon is not stranded on the Moon? " "Have Safire write up a speech."[/i]


Edit: thank you!

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 8:53 am UTC
by PinkShinyRose
So this is the motivation behind the one-way Mars expedition. Very clever, this way we'll have a functional spaceship wharf and launch site there in no time.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 10:22 am UTC
by leeharveyosmond
If exiling Napoleon in space, presumably the standard cast-iron ball-and-chain will be replaced with a special lightweight magnesium alloy one. And he'd have to be issued with a very odd-looking pressure suit.

Although, exposing a troublesome ex-artillery officer to rocketry might have unwelcome consequences.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:15 am UTC
by Diadem
Why is the US president involved in exiling Napoleon? Weren't France and the US allies in that time?

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 12:50 pm UTC
by Copper Bezel
Presumably, this is an alternate universe where World Wars I & II are territorial bids by France. Or Napoleon, rather, because they're certainly not synonymous, given France rejected dictatorship after Napoleon's defeat.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 1:38 pm UTC
by valar84
rhomboidal wrote:Napoleon was the Houdini of Hitlers.


With regards to comparisons between Napoléon and Hitler, there is no bigger insult to the former nor greater compliment to the latter.

Napoléon took power when France was attacked by nearly all the monarchies of Europe because it had dared remove from power those who were family to some extent to almost all royal leaders, and these were deathly afraid of the ideal of republicanism spreading to their own countries. Napoléon's wars aimed at forcing these attackers to stand down or take them out of power. It is important to point out that Napoléon never broke a peace treaty, British machinations were responsible for most of the Napoleonic Wars. British propaganda created in the 19th century is still largely responsible for the poor image Napoléon has in the anglosphere.

Apart from that, Napoléon was one of the first, if not THE first, European leaders to give equality to Jews and to give them full citizenship. The civil law (the Napoleonic code) he had written and put in place in France influenced the civil laws of dozens of countries and is still the basis of the legal systems of a few of them.

Sure, he was ambitious and put his family and friends in power in various puppet states he had conquered, but that was no worse (and no better) than the other heads of states at the time.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 1:59 pm UTC
by moody7277
The post above is why I think the Nostradamus people are nuts for putting Napoleon in the same "Antichrist" category as Hitler. You know, besides the whole predicting the future in four line poems by staring in to a pot of water thing.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 2:03 pm UTC
by keithl
In the 1927 silent film "Napoléon vu par Abel Gance", I vaguely recall Napoleon standing on a rock overlooking the crashing surf, and a cue card with "my friend the ocean". So we know his friend the ocean brought Napoleon back from St. Helena and Antarctica; how friendly is vacuum?

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 3:20 pm UTC
by Mikeski
bachaddict wrote:Your thread title is correct, but please add the comic image and mouseover text!

He has 3 total posts, and thus cannot properly start a comic thread, since he can't use links. Some mod will have to put a magically-pre-dated comic link post ahead of the initial post. (Or just start a new thread so this one can be killed off/merged in.) I think this is the first time this forum's version of the "FIRST!!!11!!one!" post has had this issue...

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 3:39 pm UTC
by Sprocket
This reminded me of the following episode of Northern exposure.
(Careful, this website was Recreated in 2002, and stems back to it's original form from the 1990s) in The Body in Question our learned liberals living in idyllic Alaskan malaise discover a body frozen in a block of ice, which they begin to believe may be Napoleon.
A slightly fancier website Alaskan Riviera "The Body In Question"

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 4:26 pm UTC
by pkcommando
Putting Napoleon on the moon is nice and all, but what happens if he takes control of the Space Dragon?

OTOH - just the image of Napoleon riding a space dragon back to Earth would be totally worth the devastation.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 5:11 pm UTC
by Quizatzhaderac
Diadem wrote:Why is the US president involved in exiling Napoleon? Weren't France and the US allies in that time?
At the time of Kennedy (who made the referenced speech)? Definitely. But Napoleon's history had diverged by 100 years by that point.

At the time of Napoleon? We were neutral. We had a war with Britain, and a quasi war with the first republic of France.
Copper Bezel wrote:Presumably, this is an alternate universe where World Wars I & II are territorial bids by France. Or Napoleon, rather, because they're certainly not synonymous, given France rejected dictatorship after Napoleon's defeat.
I'd say Italy. If we extend the Italian Unification war from unifying Italy, to trying to unify everything, the timeline sort of works out to the first antarctic expeditions.

Also, in this context "World Wars I & II " should be refereed to as "International civil war III". The first one being the war from 1618 to 1648 between Catholic and protestant members of the Holy Roman Empire. The second one being the extended conflict over the nature of France's government which Napoleon ended up leading.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 5:58 pm UTC
by Raineer
The octopus in the third frame.

Awesome.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 6:33 pm UTC
by DanD
valar84 wrote:
rhomboidal wrote:Napoleon was the Houdini of Hitlers.

because it had dared remove from power those who were family to some extent to almost all royal leaders, and these were deathly afraid of the ideal of republicanism spreading to their own countries.


I don't have a problem with Napoleon in particular, but don't you think it might have had something to do with the First Republic executing their cousins, not just the deposition? This might also explain, to some extent, why they were so afraid of republicanism.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 5:12 am UTC
by RogueCynic
Valar84 wrote:Apart from that, Napoléon was one of the first, if not THE first, European leaders to give equality to Jews and to give them full citizenship. The civil law (the Napoleonic code) he had written and put in place in France influenced the civil laws of dozens of countries and is still the basis of the legal systems of a few of them.
Not to mention Louisiana.
I heard King Richard of Great Britain, the last Plantaginet if I got the name wrong, made some positive changes such as introducing the concept of bail. So even the most vilified rulers had their good points.

Sprocket wrote:This reminded me of the following episode of Northern exposure.
(Careful, this website was Recreated in 2002, and stems back to it's original form from the 1990s) in The Body in Question our learned liberals living in idyllic Alaskan malaise discover a body frozen in a block of ice, which they begin to believe may be Napoleon.
A slightly fancier website Alaskan Riviera "The Body In Question"


No. The body they found was Steve Rogers. Everyone knows that.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 1:14 pm UTC
by LockeZ
Another 15 years later, Napoleon would capture the Genesis Device, and escape from the moon to kill Spock.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 1:34 pm UTC
by mathmannix
LockeZ wrote:Another 15 years later, Napoleon would capture the Genesis Device, and escape from the moon to kill Spock.

Psh. That's only the old timeline. We have yet to see if there will be a Genesis Project in the new timeline.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 9:43 pm UTC
by Sprocket
RogueCynic wrote:
Sprocket wrote:This reminded me of the following episode of Northern exposure.
(Careful, this website was Recreated in 2002, and stems back to it's original form from the 1990s) in The Body in Question our learned liberals living in idyllic Alaskan malaise discover a body frozen in a block of ice, which they begin to believe may be Napoleon.
A slightly fancier website Alaskan Riviera "The Body In Question"


No. The body they found was Steve Rogers. Everyone knows that.

In that alternate universe comic, Marechal France!
And it's Stefane Rojers.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:26 am UTC
by Coyoty
This would explain why insane asylums were known to harbor patients convinced they were Napoleon. They WERE Napoleon. And he kept escaping and being readmitted.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2015 7:21 pm UTC
by rmsgrey
RogueCynic wrote:
Valar84 wrote:Apart from that, Napoléon was one of the first, if not THE first, European leaders to give equality to Jews and to give them full citizenship. The civil law (the Napoleonic code) he had written and put in place in France influenced the civil laws of dozens of countries and is still the basis of the legal systems of a few of them.
Not to mention Louisiana.
I heard King Richard of Great Britain, the last Plantaginet if I got the name wrong, made some positive changes such as introducing the concept of bail. So even the most vilified rulers had their good points.


King Richard I of England, also known as Lionheart, was late 12th Century, and succeeded by his brother, King John, who signed the Magna Carta.

King Richard II of England was the last of the house of Plantagenet by some accountings and deposed by Henry Bolingbroke, who became King Henry IV of England.

King Richard III of England was the last of the house of York, or the last of the house of Plantagenet in other accountings (Lancaster and York were cadet branches of Plantagenet), and one of the least popular monarchs in English history.

The only ruling monarchs of Great Britain were Queen Anne and Kings George I-III, though King James VI and I styled himself "King of Great Britain, France and Ireland, Defender of the Faith, etc."

The concept of bail existed in England prior to the Statue of Westminster of 1275, which laid out which crimes were bailable and which not, though I've not traced it back further with any reliability. The only King Richard who could have introduced the concept to English law therefore was the Lionheart, generally regarded as one of the better English monarchs (though he ruled from France - it was under King John, known as Lackland, that England came to be governed from England - largely because he lost his other territories).

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2015 4:45 am UTC
by Steve the Pocket
RogueCynic wrote:I heard King Richard of Great Britain, the last Plantaginet if I got the name wrong, made some positive changes such as introducing the concept of bail. So even the most vilified rulers had their good points.

Not sure how letting people bribe their way out of jail — thus ensuring that a baseline of wealth was necessary to remain a part of civilized society between arrest and trial — was a good thing.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2015 2:20 pm UTC
by mathmannix
rmsgrey wrote:
RogueCynic wrote:
Valar84 wrote:Apart from that, Napoléon was one of the first, if not THE first, European leaders to give equality to Jews and to give them full citizenship. The civil law (the Napoleonic code) he had written and put in place in France influenced the civil laws of dozens of countries and is still the basis of the legal systems of a few of them.
Not to mention Louisiana.
I heard King Richard of Great Britain, the last Plantaginet if I got the name wrong, made some positive changes such as introducing the concept of bail. So even the most vilified rulers had their good points.
King Richard III of England was the last of the house of York, or the last of the house of Plantagenet in other accountings (Lancaster and York were cadet branches of Plantagenet), and one of the least popular monarchs in English history.
(...)
The concept of bail existed in England prior to the Statue of Westminster of 1275, which laid out which crimes were bailable and which not, though I've not traced it back further with any reliability. The only King Richard who could have introduced the concept to English law therefore was the Lionheart, generally regarded as one of the better English monarchs (though he ruled from France - it was under King John, known as Lackland, that England came to be governed from England - largely because he lost his other territories).

Richard III was most definitely the last male-line Plantagenet to rule England (or any part of Great Britain). And according to this,
Richard III is surely the most vilified and maligned king in English history. Despite the short length of his reign, however, there is ample evidence to show that Richard was a very able administrator and an enlightened lawmaker, who, had he survived, would have been remembered as one of England ’s finest monarchs.

In particular, the single parliament of his reign passed a number of statutes that clearly demonstrate Richard’s progressive and liberal attitude. Richard’s parliament assembled on the 23rd January, 1484. William Catesby presided as Speaker of the Commons and John Russell as Chancellor, delivered the opening address. In all, this parliament was to pass some 18 private statutes and 15 public ones and, significantly, this was the first time that parliamentary statutes were published in English, so that the ordinary people could read them and would know their rights.
(...)
The third statute, for example, decreed that no officer of the law could steal the goods of a prisoner until he was attainted. (...) It was also of major significance because it introduced the first system of bail which protected people suspected of felony from imprisonment before trial.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2015 6:19 pm UTC
by rmsgrey
mathmannix wrote:Richard III was most definitely the last male-line Plantagenet to rule England (or any part of Great Britain). And according to this,
Richard III is surely the most vilified and maligned king in English history. Despite the short length of his reign, however, there is ample evidence to show that Richard was a very able administrator and an enlightened lawmaker, who, had he survived, would have been remembered as one of England ’s finest monarchs.

In particular, the single parliament of his reign passed a number of statutes that clearly demonstrate Richard’s progressive and liberal attitude. Richard’s parliament assembled on the 23rd January, 1484. William Catesby presided as Speaker of the Commons and John Russell as Chancellor, delivered the opening address. In all, this parliament was to pass some 18 private statutes and 15 public ones and, significantly, this was the first time that parliamentary statutes were published in English, so that the ordinary people could read them and would know their rights.
(...)
The third statute, for example, decreed that no officer of the law could steal the goods of a prisoner until he was attainted. (...) It was also of major significance because it introduced the first system of bail which protected people suspected of felony from imprisonment before trial.


Like I said, there's a difference of opinion among historians whether to label Richard III as being of the House of York or of the House of Plantagenet.

As for bail, there was a concept of "bailment" in England in 1275 that was refined by the Statute of Westminster of 1275 - a codification of the existing law of England. The relevant portion being: http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Prisoners_and_Bail_Act . Whether that constituted a "system of bail" is less clear, but it is certain that the concept of bail predates Richard III...

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Mon May 11, 2015 9:01 pm UTC
by DanD
mathmannix wrote:Richard III was most definitely the last male-line Plantagenet to rule England (or any part of Great Britain). And according to this,
Richard III is surely the most vilified and maligned king in English history. Despite the short length of his reign, however, there is ample evidence to show that Richard was a very able administrator and an enlightened lawmaker, who, had he survived, would have been remembered as one of England ’s finest monarchs.

In particular, the single parliament of his reign passed a number of statutes that clearly demonstrate Richard’s progressive and liberal attitude. Richard’s parliament assembled on the 23rd January, 1484. William Catesby presided as Speaker of the Commons and John Russell as Chancellor, delivered the opening address. In all, this parliament was to pass some 18 private statutes and 15 public ones and, significantly, this was the first time that parliamentary statutes were published in English, so that the ordinary people could read them and would know their rights.
(...)
The third statute, for example, decreed that no officer of the law could steal the goods of a prisoner until he was attainted. (...) It was also of major significance because it introduced the first system of bail which protected people suspected of felony from imprisonment before trial.


Richard III was intentionally portrayed as a villain by the Tudors once they took power, and much of what is "known" about him is based on that rather than on primary sources. This includes the most common popular portrayal, by Shakespeare who was writing under a Tudor monarch. What is available from his lifetime seems to suggest he was not a particularly bad king, although it varies. Of course, the issue of the princes in the tower and his potential usurpation of their throne and their subsequent disappearance did give his enemies a base to work from.

Re: 1510: "Napoleon"

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2016 11:02 am UTC
by Soupspoon
In this universe, the wind is being used/'blamed' for keeping zombie hydrophobic Naploeon confined...