1575: "Footprints"

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Mirkwood
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1575: "Footprints"

Postby Mirkwood » Wed Sep 09, 2015 5:51 am UTC

Image
title=""There's one set of foot-p's cause I was totes carrying you, bro!" said Jesus seconds before I punched him."

How does Jesus figure into this?
Last edited by Mirkwood on Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:22 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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ManaUser
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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby ManaUser » Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:07 am UTC

Jesus must have had tons of experience walking on sand, and it's well known he could walk on water... How ironic it as that he couldn't handle a combination of the two.

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby xkcdfan » Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:08 am UTC


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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Pfhorrest » Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:10 am UTC

Mirkwood wrote:How does Jesus figure into this?

There's some (noncanonical) parable about someone walking down the beach with Jesus (a metaphor for his life) and he looks back and sees that in the hardest parts of it, there was only one set of footprints in the sand, so he asks Jesus where he was then, and Jesus says "that was when I carried you".
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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby anterovipunen » Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:12 am UTC

Footsteps is a beautiful poem. I remember, my grandmother had it framed in her bathroom, and I everytime I went into the bathroom I would read it, and I never tired of reading it.

It's really encouraging and touching.

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Rossegacebes » Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:25 am UTC

I was completely unaware of this "Footprints" poem, and I gave up after carefully reading the whole thing twice, unable to make any sense.

Now I know.

But... what is a "captured afst"?

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby da Doctah » Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:26 am UTC

Nothing about how sandpeople travel single file to hide their numbers?

I can legitimately claim to be the one who appended "oh, and a pony" to the Serenity prayer.

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby player_03 » Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:31 am UTC

Rossegacebes wrote:But... what is a "captured afst"?


AT-ST, actually.

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Rossegacebes » Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:44 am UTC

player_03 wrote:
Rossegacebes wrote:But... what is a "captured afst"?


AT-ST, actually.


Thanks. I would have missed it anyway (I'm not really into the Star Wars culture).

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby CharlieP » Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:57 am UTC

This is the second example of subverted Jesus fan fiction that I've seen in about as many days. But hardly as subverted as http://www.imgur.com/gallery/rkVi1...
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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Sir Lunch-a-lot » Wed Sep 09, 2015 7:27 am UTC

Another riff on the footprints poem (one with, I think, some theological import. Also includes the original poem at the top): http://adam4d.com/footprints-sand/

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Eternal Density » Wed Sep 09, 2015 7:33 am UTC

da Doctah wrote:Nothing about how sandpeople travel single file to hide their numbers?

I can legitimately claim to be the one who appended "oh, and a pony" to the Serenity prayer.

You mean this one? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGwutHEjvWE

(Yes I know you don't mean that one :P)
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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Kalium_Puceon » Wed Sep 09, 2015 8:33 am UTC

ManaUser wrote:Jesus must have had tons of experience walking on sand, and it's well known he could walk on water... How ironic it as that he couldn't handle a combination of the two.


Maybe he got stuck because he sunk into the sand and the water around him was impassable? Like if someone fell into Oobleck, they'd sink, but then they'd have resistance to any movement.
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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Angua » Wed Sep 09, 2015 8:44 am UTC

At home in the A&E department there was a poster of a pair of footprints on the sand that gradually turn into stump-prints with the caption 'don't let diabetes change you' or something like that.
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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby orthogon » Wed Sep 09, 2015 8:53 am UTC

At first sight, you can see why JC might be into Twilight. He's all about eternal life and drinking blood. Given that whole Lazarus stunt and coming back from the dead himself, I wouldn't be surprised if he was into zombie flicks too. On the other hand, he probably knows too much about that stuff, so he'd probably find those movies full of annoying inaccuracies, like The Imitation Game to a cryptography expert or The Theory of Everything to a cosmologist.
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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby h4rm0ny » Wed Sep 09, 2015 11:27 am UTC

Surely when it came to quicksand Jesus would be the one to survive such an obstacle. He can walk on land AND water. That's one more than me so why should an intermediary state cause him specific problems?

Anyway, where is the point on the graph where me and Eris both hop one-footedly?

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby da Doctah » Wed Sep 09, 2015 12:14 pm UTC

Eternal Density wrote:
da Doctah wrote:Nothing about how sandpeople travel single file to hide their numbers?

I can legitimately claim to be the one who appended "oh, and a pony" to the Serenity prayer.

You mean this one? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGwutHEjvWE

(Yes I know you don't mean that one :P)


Good one, but I beat that by at least three years (maybe more, but it's impossible any more to be sure you've unearthed the earliest instance of anything in Google Groups): https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.fol ... Ib5fI_JRIJ

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby speising » Wed Sep 09, 2015 12:17 pm UTC

Sir Lunch-a-lot wrote:Another riff on the footprints poem (one with, I think, some theological import. Also includes the original poem at the top): http://adam4d.com/footprints-sand/

that is incredibly depressing. poor people, who can't imagine to live without being carried by someone, but especially a mythical "god".

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Eutychus » Wed Sep 09, 2015 12:28 pm UTC

Almost as depressing as people who are arrogant enough to think they are so hip they couldn't possibly have been created by someone or something else, and survive in splendid independence, sustained by nothing but their own self-importance...

<ducks and runs>
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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby drachefly » Wed Sep 09, 2015 12:35 pm UTC

That... doesn't describe anyone I can think of, and I know of a LOT of non-Christians.

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby The Moomin » Wed Sep 09, 2015 12:36 pm UTC

So do they slowly eat the ducklings as they wander along? A bit like the Walrus and the Carpenter did with the oysters, and Jesus was a carpenter. Hmmmm. Seems like he's got history on this walking along beaches killing things.

Also, there were one and a half sets of footprints when they were practising for the three-legged race.
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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby SimonMoon5 » Wed Sep 09, 2015 12:45 pm UTC

The part that confused me the most at first:

I thought there had only been *one* Twilight Zone movie...

Oh... I misread it. When I saw the word "Twilight" and the word "movie", I automatically put in the word "Zone" in between. It's not like there could be anything else in popular culture that uses the word "Twilight", right?

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Shadowman615 » Wed Sep 09, 2015 1:14 pm UTC

Rossegacebes wrote:
player_03 wrote:
Rossegacebes wrote:But... what is a "captured afst"?


AT-ST, actually.


Thanks. I would have missed it anyway (I'm not really into the Star Wars culture).



Makes wayyyyy more sense than what I came up with -- I was thinking it was short for AThieiST. :shock:

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Keyman » Wed Sep 09, 2015 1:16 pm UTC

Oh this is fun. Can we do one about Muhammad and Buraq next? :roll:
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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby orthogon » Wed Sep 09, 2015 1:55 pm UTC

Eutychus wrote:Almost as depressing as people who are arrogant enough to think they are so hip they couldn't possibly have been created by someone or something else, and survive in splendid independence, sustained by nothing but their own self-importance...

<ducks and runs>

drachefly wrote:That... doesn't describe anyone I can think of, and I know of a LOT of non-Christians.

Ducking and running won't save you from your own making-stuff-up.

Interesting dichotomy: unlike religions with their terrocentricity and tales of chosen people, I would argue that atheism itself is more likely to lead to a feeling of non-self-importance: there's nothing special about oneself, one's own particular race, tribe, culture or homeland, or humanity in general, or the Earth, or even the Sol System or the Milky Way. Hell, there might not be anything special about the universe if there is more than one. On the other hand, secular movements like humanism can partially restore this: a humanist I know described the movement in terms of "celebrating the human project", which does put hom sap more centre-stage, though not in any cosmic sense.

I have to say that I've never heard the "Argument from Hipness", but I'd be interested in an outline of it...
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Whizbang » Wed Sep 09, 2015 2:22 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:I have to say that I've never heard the "Argument from Hipness", but I'd be interested in an outline of it...


If you need an outline, you probably wouldn't get it anyway...

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby jozwa » Wed Sep 09, 2015 2:23 pm UTC

My favorite version of the footprint story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqN0cB-bAJ4

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby rmsgrey » Wed Sep 09, 2015 2:29 pm UTC

I could have sworn Randall had already done a riff on Footprints - but my Google-fu fails me. Does anyone know what I'm thinking of, or did I just imagine it?

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Rombobjörn » Wed Sep 09, 2015 2:48 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:There's some (noncanonical) parable about someone walking down the beach with Jesus (a metaphor for his life) and he looks back and sees that in the hardest parts of it, there was only one set of footprints in the sand, so he asks Jesus where he was then, and Jesus says "that was when I carried you".

So being carried by Jesus is particularly unpleasant, apparently.

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Wed Sep 09, 2015 2:57 pm UTC

rmsgrey wrote:I could have sworn Randall had already done a riff on Footprints - but my Google-fu fails me. Does anyone know what I'm thinking of, or did I just imagine it?

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby orthogon » Wed Sep 09, 2015 3:05 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:
orthogon wrote:I have to say that I've never heard the "Argument from Hipness", but I'd be interested in an outline of it...


If you need an outline, you probably wouldn't get it anyway...

I guess it would be a variant on the Argument from Complexity, since a hipster is clearly an even more complex lifeform than an ordinary human. On the other hand, the fact that hipsters have evolved from earlier forms of homo sapiens is clearly attested, though it is not yet fully understood how the unique aspects of the environments in which they developed (such as Hoxton) favoured these particular adaptations.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby rmsgrey » Wed Sep 09, 2015 3:23 pm UTC

Quizatzhaderac wrote:
rmsgrey wrote:I could have sworn Randall had already done a riff on Footprints - but my Google-fu fails me. Does anyone know what I'm thinking of, or did I just imagine it?

Maximumble


My vague memory is of something about being attacked by transformers or something along those lines.

edit: Found it! http://xkcd.com/1110/ - head west (assuming we're facing North) to the far shore of the sea.

edit2: There are several islands on the way
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Re: 1575: "Handprints"

Postby Weeks » Wed Sep 09, 2015 3:28 pm UTC

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Rombobjörn » Wed Sep 09, 2015 4:00 pm UTC


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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby katkins » Wed Sep 09, 2015 4:25 pm UTC

Quicksand? I don't buy it. I think Jesus was raptored.

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby gmalivuk » Wed Sep 09, 2015 4:46 pm UTC

Keyman wrote:Oh this is fun. Can we do one about Muhammad and Buraq next? :roll:

There's not a popular and oft-parodied English poem about them, so that would be a fairly pointless comic.
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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Pfhorrest » Wed Sep 09, 2015 5:05 pm UTC

Eutychus wrote:Almost as depressing as people who are arrogant enough to think they are so hip they couldn't possibly have been created by someone or something else, and survive in splendid independence, sustained by nothing but their own self-importance...

But not nearly as depressing as reality, which is that nobody was created by anything for any purpose, none of us are important or capable of sustaining ourselves for anything but a fleeting moment, survival is temporary for everyone, and it's only a lucky few who do it well enough and long enough for it to be of note, almost every organism ever born having died shortly thereafter in pain and futility.

There are no footprints in the sand. The incessant tide washes them all away.
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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby orthogon » Wed Sep 09, 2015 5:06 pm UTC

gmalivuk wrote:
Keyman wrote:Oh this is fun. Can we do one about Muhammad and Buraq next? :roll:

There's not a popular and oft-parodied English poem about them, so that would be a fairly pointless comic.

Poetry is clearly a broad term, but unless I'm looking at the wrong work, I don't really see what makes Footprints a poem, other than the way it's laid out with short lines grouped into "stanzas". Whilst I accept that neither rhyme nor meter are essential components of poetry, there surely has to be something poetic about it, whereas this "poem" is simply a straightforward telling of a story in prose. I'm not denying that it's touching and emotionally moving (and that's speaking as an atheist), but in my view that's entirely down to the content rather than the language; in that regard I don't feel it would lose any of its power on translation.

ETA: What Pfhorrest just said is far more poetic imho.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby Whizbang » Wed Sep 09, 2015 5:11 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:I don't really see what makes Footprints a poem, other than the way it's laid out with short lines grouped into "stanzas".


Wait. Isn't that what poetry is? That's all poetry appears to be to me.

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Re: 1575: "Footprints"

Postby gmalivuk » Wed Sep 09, 2015 5:24 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:ETA: What Pfhorrest just said is far more poetic imho.
Sure, but the set of poetic things and the set of poems aren't identical, just like the set of lyrical things and the set of lyrics aren't identical.
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