1681: "Laser Products"

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1681: "Laser Products"

Postby gmalivuk » Mon May 16, 2016 3:27 pm UTC

Image
ERRORS: HAIR JAM. COLOR-SAFE CONDITIONER CARTRIDGE RUNNING LOW. LEGAL-SIZE HAIR TRAY EMPTY, USING LETTER-SIZE HAIR ONLY.

At least the laser hair printer automatically picks a different size hair to use. I get so fed up with the ones that just stop and wait for you to refresh the size they've decided you need, even if you're perfectly happy to use letter-size hair.
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby HES » Mon May 16, 2016 4:30 pm UTC

One star. Not compatible with ISO hair sizes.
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby cellocgw » Mon May 16, 2016 5:00 pm UTC

I checked in with Mr. OCD and he says the columns need to be swapped so that the maximum star-squares are all along the diagonal.

Then I realized that if you do that, you've found the EigenVector for this parameter space.
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby AlfaLyr » Mon May 16, 2016 5:21 pm UTC

Well, a laser-printed eye can be cool for Halloween...
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby flicky1991 » Mon May 16, 2016 6:37 pm UTC

cellocgw wrote:I checked in with Mr. OCD and he says the columns need to be swapped so that the maximum star-squares are all along the diagonal.
But the maximum-star squares aren't funny ones! You have to end on a punchline!
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby Soupspoon » Mon May 16, 2016 8:27 pm UTC

[bibliography][/bibliography]
flicky1991 wrote:
cellocgw wrote:I checked in with Mr. OCD and he says the columns need to be swapped so that the maximum star-squares are all along the diagonal.
But the maximum-star squares aren't funny ones! You have to end on a punchline!

How about the anti-diagonal?

ETA: For the same final punchline, printer bottom, hair to right. This requires removal at left, jet to top, and centre/centre is eye surgery.
Last edited by Soupspoon on Mon May 16, 2016 8:31 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby flicky1991 » Mon May 16, 2016 8:28 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:
cellocgw wrote:I checked in with Mr. OCD and he says the columns need to be swapped so that the maximum star-squares are all along the diagonal.
But the maximum-star squares aren't funny ones! You have to end on a punchline!

How about the anti-diagonal?
I feel like starting with a more "normal" one makes more sense, though. I'm actually most satisfied by the arrangement that's in the comic. :P
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby deskjethp » Mon May 16, 2016 8:50 pm UTC

Laser jet printer eh?

I, deskjethp, have no bias about this kind of thing whatsoever.

Seriously, though. We should replace lawnmowers with laser grass cutters.
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby Eternal Density » Mon May 16, 2016 8:52 pm UTC

Well this is timely.
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby eidako » Mon May 16, 2016 8:58 pm UTC

lp0 on fire

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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby Echo244 » Mon May 16, 2016 9:12 pm UTC

...but if I get some freshly printed laser hair, from a print job that didn't jam, and weave it into my normal hair, I'll be able to blast things with my ponytail?
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby Soupspoon » Mon May 16, 2016 10:03 pm UTC

Echo244 wrote:...but if I get some freshly printed laser hair, from a print job that didn't jam, and weave it into my normal hair, I'll be able to blast things with my ponytail?
Can't you do that already?

I can. Although not with my head-hair, admitedly.

(Also, http://www.yorkshirehairreplacementclin ... retention/ http://www.blueshairworkshop.co.uk/lase ... storation/ https://www.theradome.com/page/homepage and http://www.suneticslasers.com are fairly easily found with a bit of <insertSearchEngineHere>-Fu, and are rather interesting to see. Although I make no comment on their respective veracities.)

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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby Himself » Mon May 16, 2016 10:36 pm UTC

Isn't laser jet removal already in development?
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby chridd » Mon May 16, 2016 11:01 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:
cellocgw wrote:I checked in with Mr. OCD and he says the columns need to be swapped so that the maximum star-squares are all along the diagonal.
But the maximum-star squares aren't funny ones! You have to end on a punchline!

How about the anti-diagonal?

ETA: For the same final punchline, printer bottom, hair to right. This requires removal at left, jet to top, and centre/centre is eye surgery.
Here. Now you can choose which order to put everything in.
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby Heimhenge » Mon May 16, 2016 11:34 pm UTC

Well this is an interesting development in the "hair removal" category ...

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the- ... -shaving#/

I'd buy one if Skarp ever makes it to production. My only question is whether it would work on my dog. :)

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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby ThemePark » Tue May 17, 2016 12:07 am UTC

Heimhenge wrote:Well this is an interesting development in the "hair removal" category ...

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the- ... -shaving#/

I'd buy one if Skarp ever makes it to production. My only question is whether it would work on my dog. :)

With a company name like that, they sure aren't kidding about it being a close shave!
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby CharlieBing » Tue May 17, 2016 1:15 am UTC

Just saw on Dezeen that MIT can 3D print fur. Can the world get any weirder at all?

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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby ManaUser » Tue May 17, 2016 2:03 am UTC

Heimhenge wrote:Well this is an interesting development in the "hair removal" category ...

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the- ... -shaving#/

I'd buy one if Skarp ever makes it to production. My only question is whether it would work on my dog. :)

This isn't funny or anything, but they had their (very successful) kickstarter canceled for failure to demonstrate the product worked. And their claims sound very suspect to me, the month-long battery life for instance.

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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby yakkoTDI » Tue May 17, 2016 2:18 am UTC

Soupspoon wrote:
Echo244 wrote:...but if I get some freshly printed laser hair, from a print job that didn't jam, and weave it into my normal hair, I'll be able to blast things with my ponytail?
Can't you do that already?

I can. Although not with my head-hair, admitedly.


Pics or Ban!

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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby Heimhenge » Tue May 17, 2016 2:56 am UTC

ManaUser wrote:
Heimhenge wrote:Well this is an interesting development in the "hair removal" category ...

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the- ... -shaving#/

I'd buy one if Skarp ever makes it to production. My only question is whether it would work on my dog. :)

This isn't funny or anything, but they had their (very successful) kickstarter canceled for failure to demonstrate the product worked. And their claims sound very suspect to me, the month-long battery life for instance.


Yeah, I read about that KickStarter controversy. No idea about the battery life question. But their claim of tuning the laser to a chromophore in human hair makes total sense to me. I would love to ditch my current razor.

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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby CharlieBing » Tue May 17, 2016 4:05 am UTC

CharlieBing wrote:Just saw on Dezeen that MIT can 3D print fur. Can the world get any weirder at all?


Not sure if I can post URLs but maybe I can:

http://www.dezeen.com/2016/05/16/mit-re ... nted-hair/

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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby eidako » Tue May 17, 2016 5:04 am UTC

CharlieBing wrote:Just saw on Dezeen that MIT can 3D print fur. Can the world get any weirder at all?

Just imagine the next wave of furry-fandom silicone dragon (redacted)s with REALISTIC HAIR. Or maybe even print-it-yourself fursuits.

...you can remove your eyes, but sadly you cannot remove the things you have already seen.

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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby da Doctah » Tue May 17, 2016 5:11 am UTC

CharlieBing wrote:Just saw on Dezeen that MIT can 3D print fur.


Dude just keeps on reinventing himself!

Image

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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby CharonPDX » Tue May 17, 2016 7:44 am UTC

Himself wrote:Isn't laser jet removal already in development?


Even better, it's laser rocket removal!

That said, laser eye printing would be an awesome thing for the treatment of blindness-by-physical-eye-damage!

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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby The Moomin » Tue May 17, 2016 8:19 am UTC

The matrix could be expanded to included laser-nipple-porn.
I don't know if it is a real proper actual thing, but I remember someone tweeting pictures of it.
Laser nipple surgery and removal could totally be actual things.
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby gcgcgcgc » Tue May 17, 2016 3:26 pm UTC

What's worse is printing your hair in landscape instead of portrait. Now it's all down one side of my face.

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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby Eternal Density » Wed May 18, 2016 9:31 am UTC

Today, laser hair removal would have been useful. Now I'd like laser hair printing, but a wig is fine too.
The Moomin wrote:The matrix could be expanded to included laser-nipple-porn.
I don't know if it is a real proper actual thing, but I remember someone tweeting pictures of it.
Laser nipple surgery and removal could totally be actual things.

That also gives us laser-eye-porn, laser-jet-porn, laser-hair-porn, but not laser-printer-porn.
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby orthogon » Wed May 18, 2016 9:51 am UTC

Eternal Density wrote:Today, laser hair removal would have been useful. Now I'd like laser hair printing, but a wig is fine too.
The Moomin wrote:The matrix could be expanded to included laser-nipple-porn.
I don't know if it is a real proper actual thing, but I remember someone tweeting pictures of it.
Laser nipple surgery and removal could totally be actual things.

That also gives us laser-eye-porn, laser-jet-porn, laser-hair-porn, but not laser-printer-porn.

Surely it follows from Rule 34 that the "porn" column is fully populated?
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby The Moomin » Wed May 18, 2016 1:28 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:
Eternal Density wrote:Today, laser hair removal would have been useful. Now I'd like laser hair printing, but a wig is fine too.
The Moomin wrote:The matrix could be expanded to included laser-nipple-porn.
I don't know if it is a real proper actual thing, but I remember someone tweeting pictures of it.
Laser nipple surgery and removal could totally be actual things.

That also gives us laser-eye-porn, laser-jet-porn, laser-hair-porn, but not laser-printer-porn.

Surely it follows from Rule 34 that the "porn" column is fully populated?


I thought they were supposed to use some form of preventative method to stop overpopulating?
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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby Flumble » Wed May 18, 2016 3:20 pm UTC

The Moomin wrote:
orthogon wrote:
Eternal Density wrote:Today, laser hair removal would have been useful. Now I'd like laser hair printing, but a wig is fine too.
The Moomin wrote:The matrix could be expanded to included laser-nipple-porn.
I don't know if it is a real proper actual thing, but I remember someone tweeting pictures of it.
Laser nipple surgery and removal could totally be actual things.

That also gives us laser-eye-porn, laser-jet-porn, laser-hair-porn, but not laser-printer-porn.

Surely it follows from Rule 34 that the "porn" column is fully populated?


I thought they were supposed to use some form of preventative method to stop overpopulating?

There's no such thing as "too much porn".

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Re: 1681: "Laser Products"

Postby TrueNarnian » Thu May 19, 2016 2:08 am UTC

If you're not sure how to read the panels for maximum comedic enjoyment, I recommend most to fewest stars.


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