1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

This forum is for the individual discussion thread that goes with each new comic.

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

User avatar
bachaddict
Handel Played it Better
Posts: 484
Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:18 am UTC
Location: Aotearoa

1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby bachaddict » Fri Jul 15, 2016 1:39 pm UTC

Image

Alt-text: The SpaceX system carefully guides falling phones down to the surface, a process which the phones increasingly often survive without exploding.

Do Siri, Cortana and Alexa also argue about who had the best answer?

A screen that poisons you fits well with xkcd Phone IV®©™
Last edited by bachaddict on Fri Jul 15, 2016 2:11 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
slinches wrote:Also, the OTC isn't a disease. In fact, it's the cure. As we all know, Time heals all wounds.

Thanks for the molpish wig ggh!
he/him/his

User avatar
bachaddict
Handel Played it Better
Posts: 484
Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:18 am UTC
Location: Aotearoa

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby bachaddict » Fri Jul 15, 2016 1:42 pm UTC

oops
Last edited by bachaddict on Fri Jul 15, 2016 2:12 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
slinches wrote:Also, the OTC isn't a disease. In fact, it's the cure. As we all know, Time heals all wounds.

Thanks for the molpish wig ggh!
he/him/his

cryptoengineer
Posts: 134
Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 4:58 am UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby cryptoengineer » Fri Jul 15, 2016 1:56 pm UTC

The battery specs are what made me LOL.
ce

User avatar
Reecer6
Posts: 100
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2012 12:59 am UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby Reecer6 » Fri Jul 15, 2016 2:00 pm UTC

I'm excited that I can finally upload AND download whatever I want to a server that is CONSTANTLY connected to my phone, so that I can resume operations even without an internet signal! Technology has truly gone far in recent years, and the xkcd Phone 4 is the model of it.

Thanks, certification, for trusting this brand!

User avatar
cellocgw
Posts: 1953
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:40 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby cellocgw » Fri Jul 15, 2016 2:09 pm UTC

Subwoofer is right next to dog-whistle.

Hoping the crossover network has very steep slope, or there's gonna be some wicked feedback.

Now, before y'all get worried about the lack of stored energy (it does read "micro Amp-hr" :P ), maybe this phone only draws 1e-10 microAmps under normal use.
Let's see: organic display - no power needed (it gets it by drawing blood from whoever touches it); 12 Headphone jacks: Let's assume 5 V peak signal, then total of, say 1e-11 microAmp allocated means 5 V / ( 1e-11/12 microAmp) = 4.1667e+16 ohms impedance. No problem.
https://app.box.com/witthoftresume
Former OTTer
Vote cellocgw for President 2020. #ScienceintheWhiteHouse http://cellocgw.wordpress.com
"The Planck length is 3.81779e-33 picas." -- keithl
" Earth weighs almost exactly π milliJupiters" -- what-if #146, note 7

User avatar
Steve the Pocket
Posts: 697
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2007 4:02 am UTC
Location: Going downtuuu in a Luleelurah!

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby Steve the Pocket » Fri Jul 15, 2016 2:25 pm UTC

"Dogwhistle" is in quotes... I want to believe that it's actually a feature that detects when the user says something not-racist-but, and automatically emits a sound that entices any dogs in the area to start barking.
cephalopod9 wrote:Only on Xkcd can you start a topic involving Hitler and people spend the better part of half a dozen pages arguing about the quality of Operating Systems.

Baige.

User avatar
Flumble
Yes Man
Posts: 2082
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 9:35 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby Flumble » Fri Jul 15, 2016 2:37 pm UTC

Something tells me those wings aren't for flight and the webMD partnership makes it even more suspicious.

Also if you cut off the image below ✓CERTIFIED you can see the phone scream "Kill me! Please!". :(

User avatar
ysth
Posts: 183
Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:21 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby ysth » Fri Jul 15, 2016 2:56 pm UTC

I found a seed in mine! Should I complain? Should I plant it?
A math joke: r = | |csc(θ)|+|sec(θ)| |-| |csc(θ)|-|sec(θ)| |

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 3719
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby Soupspoon » Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:30 pm UTC

ysth wrote:I found a seed in mine! Should I complain? Should I plant it?
That might mean you've geen given an apple phone, instead...

User avatar
Neil_Boekend
Posts: 3220
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:35 am UTC
Location: Yes.

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Jul 15, 2016 4:01 pm UTC

ysth wrote:I found a seed in mine! Should I complain? Should I plant it?

You shouldn't watch so much porn on your phone.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

piratejohn
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2015 5:26 am UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby piratejohn » Fri Jul 15, 2016 4:57 pm UTC

Is it gluten free? I won't buy it unless it's gluten free.

TheEngineer
Posts: 44
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 2:40 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby TheEngineer » Fri Jul 15, 2016 5:51 pm UTC

So I was stupid keeping my Centronics 101 printer was I?
Who's looking stupid now!

btw, anyone have any fanfold paper?

ps.02
Posts: 378
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2013 8:02 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby ps.02 » Fri Jul 15, 2016 8:41 pm UTC

Flumble wrote:Something tells me those wings aren't for flight

Maybe. Really makes me wonder, though, if it has airplane mode.

User avatar
CelticNot
Posts: 111
Joined: Tue Jul 16, 2013 3:18 pm UTC
Location: A Little North of the Great Albertan Desert

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby CelticNot » Fri Jul 15, 2016 8:57 pm UTC

TheEngineer wrote:btw, anyone have any fanfold paper?


I actually miss fanfold paper. It was GREAT for making banners. Nowadays it's a pain to print one without specialized equipment.

Plus the tearaway edges made great cat toys.
This sig for rent. Rates negotiable.

User avatar
Coyne
Posts: 1065
Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2009 12:07 am UTC
Location: Orlando, Florida
Contact:

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby Coyne » Fri Jul 15, 2016 9:50 pm UTC

I think it's great that it more often doesn't explode when dropped. That's important to me.
In all fairness...

User avatar
bachaddict
Handel Played it Better
Posts: 484
Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:18 am UTC
Location: Aotearoa

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby bachaddict » Fri Jul 15, 2016 9:51 pm UTC

CelticNot wrote:
TheEngineer wrote:btw, anyone have any fanfold paper?


I actually miss fanfold paper. It was GREAT for making banners. Nowadays it's a pain to print one without specialized equipment.

Plus the tearaway edges made great cat toys.

It was fun having a huge stack of used fanfold/lineflow in the crafts drawer that you could pull as many sheets as you needed from. The lines didn't go so well with our drawings though.
slinches wrote:Also, the OTC isn't a disease. In fact, it's the cure. As we all know, Time heals all wounds.

Thanks for the molpish wig ggh!
he/him/his

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 3719
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby Soupspoon » Sat Jul 16, 2016 12:32 am UTC

Incidentally, only a few days ago one 'water resistant' phone publicly failed to be so.

I remember reading that article and seeing that "The Samsung Galaxy S7 Active stopped working after being put in a tank that simulated the effect of being about 5ft (1.5m) underwater." I was trying to work out how they could be 'simulating the effect of being five feet1 underwater' except by actually having it five feet (or so) undetwater. Oh what a pity that dunking something in five feet of water is such a difficult thing to do that they have to invent some obscure method of simulating such extreme conditions that I know not what of(!)...


1 Or rather 'about 5ft' or 1.5m for those that prefer metric, which looks like a sloppy way of describing an actual regulatory specification of 'exactly 1.5m', or about five feet for those that prefer imperial.

ps.02
Posts: 378
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2013 8:02 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby ps.02 » Sat Jul 16, 2016 2:17 am UTC

Soupspoon wrote:I remember reading that article and seeing that "The Samsung Galaxy S7 Active stopped working after being put in a tank that simulated the effect of being about 5ft (1.5m) underwater." I was trying to work out how they could be 'simulating the effect of being five feet1 underwater' except by actually having it five feet (or so) undetwater.

Agreed, that sounds pretty dumb.

Or perhaps they needed to find a way to "simulate" immersion for 30 minutes without having to wait a full 30 minutes. I mean, I'm sure they've got deadlines like everyone else.

User avatar
ManaUser
Posts: 284
Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2008 9:28 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby ManaUser » Sat Jul 16, 2016 2:45 am UTC

Soupspoon wrote:I remember reading that article and seeing that "The Samsung Galaxy S7 Active stopped working after being put in a tank that simulated the effect of being about 5ft (1.5m) underwater." I was trying to work out how they could be 'simulating the effect of being five feet1 underwater' except by actually having it five feet (or so) undetwater. Oh what a pity that dunking something in five feet of water is such a difficult thing to do that they have to invent some obscure method of simulating such extreme conditions that I know not what of(!)...

I suppose they could simulate it by putting it in a sealed container with an inch or so of water and pressurizing it to 2.2 PSI. Why anyone would do that instead of just using 5 feet of water is beyond me though.

Also multiple headphone jacks almost sounds useful... almost.

RogueCynic
Posts: 390
Joined: Sun Nov 22, 2009 10:23 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby RogueCynic » Sat Jul 16, 2016 3:38 am UTC

Flumble wrote:Something tells me those wings aren't for flight and the webMD partnership makes it even more suspicious.

Also if you cut off the image below ✓CERTIFIED you can see the phone scream "Kill me! Please!". :(


Yes they are. The phone needs some way of guiding itself to the barge when dropped from the Spacex.
I am Lord Titanius Englesmith, Fancyman of Cornwood.
See 1 Kings 7:23 for pi.
If you put a prune in a juicer, what would you get?

project2051
Posts: 178
Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:20 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby project2051 » Sat Jul 16, 2016 4:46 pm UTC

This is the second comic I read today making fun of SpaceX boosters exploding on landing. Must be a Saturday theme.

hamjudo
Posts: 100
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:56 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby hamjudo » Sun Jul 17, 2016 6:30 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:Incidentally, only a few days ago one 'water resistant' phone publicly failed to be so.

I remember reading that article and seeing that "The Samsung Galaxy S7 Active stopped working after being put in a tank that simulated the effect of being about 5ft (1.5m) underwater." I was trying to work out how they could be 'simulating the effect of being five feet1 underwater' except by actually having it five feet (or so) undetwater. Oh what a pity that dunking something in five feet of water is such a difficult thing to do that they have to invent some obscure method of simulating such extreme conditions that I know not what of(!)...


Consumer Reports also tests watches. If they test dive watches, they need a chamber that can simulate a depth of 100 meters. It is difficult to build a tank that deep. A controlled pressure chamber can simulate something sinking quickly or slowly. A camera recording the object under test does not need to be moved as the simulated depth changes. Once the camera is focused correctly, it will stay focused correctly.

Why would any lab with a pressure controlled chamber bother making a 5 foot deep tank?

TrueNarnian
Posts: 48
Joined: Wed Oct 26, 2011 8:49 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby TrueNarnian » Mon Jul 18, 2016 1:46 am UTC

I'll be honest, there are some situations in which I'd put up with all the other "features" on this phone just for those twelve headphone jacks.

User avatar
da Doctah
Posts: 927
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2012 6:27 am UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby da Doctah » Mon Jul 18, 2016 5:32 am UTC

I'm with you. I'd love it if you could pair one Bluetooth device (like a tablet with a playlist on it) with a dozen slave devices (like amplified speakers around a banquet room instead of just one.

Don't tell me to run cables. The hotel provides the waitstaff, and they'll manage to either injure themselves or damage the sound equipment getting around the room. Probably both.

User avatar
Wee Red Bird
Posts: 189
Joined: Wed Apr 24, 2013 11:50 am UTC
Location: In a tree

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby Wee Red Bird » Mon Jul 18, 2016 7:55 am UTC

IV is Roman Numerals for 4, but a lot of clocks use IIII instead.

CharlieP
Posts: 397
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:22 am UTC
Location: Nottingham, UK

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby CharlieP » Mon Jul 18, 2016 7:57 am UTC

Soupspoon wrote:1 Or rather 'about 5ft' or 1.5m for those that prefer metric, which looks like a sloppy way of describing an actual regulatory specification of 'exactly 1.5m', or about five feet for those that prefer imperial.


That's one of my many pet hates - media sources converting an approximate figure with ridiculous precision. e.g. "...a range of around 100 miles (160.9344 km)..."
Last edited by CharlieP on Mon Jul 18, 2016 11:51 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

CharlieP
Posts: 397
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:22 am UTC
Location: Nottingham, UK

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby CharlieP » Mon Jul 18, 2016 7:57 am UTC

Wee Red Bird wrote:IV is Roman Numerals for 4, but a lot of clocks use IIII instead.


Does the xkcd Phone 4 have a clock function? That would be cool.
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

CharlieP
Posts: 397
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:22 am UTC
Location: Nottingham, UK

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby CharlieP » Mon Jul 18, 2016 8:06 am UTC

Also, for those into product roadmaps and such guff:

xkcd Phone: https://xkcd.com/1363/
xkcd Phone 2: https://xkcd.com/1465/
xkcd Phone 3: https://xkcd.com/1549/
xkcd Phone 4: https://xkcd.com/1707/
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

User avatar
Echo244
Posts: 511
Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 9:49 am UTC
Location: Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping!

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby Echo244 » Mon Jul 18, 2016 10:25 am UTC

I love the random cough diagnosis feature. I've known a few people who would... both appreciate and yet be terrified by it.
Unstoppable force of nature. That means she/her/hers.
Has committed an act of treason.

richP
Posts: 190
Joined: Wed Aug 17, 2011 3:28 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby richP » Mon Jul 18, 2016 1:31 pm UTC

CharlieP wrote:
Soupspoon wrote:1 Or rather 'about 5ft' or 1.5m for those that prefer metric, which looks like a sloppy way of describing an actual regulatory specification of 'exactly 1.5m', or about five feet for those that prefer imperial.


That's one of my many pet hates - media sources converting an approximate figure with ridiculous precision. e.g. "...a range of around 100 miles (160.9344 km)..."


Agreed, but the reverse case (media overly simplifying) can be more jarring. Example: "the explosion threw debris over 300 hundred meters (yards) away."

airdrik
Posts: 238
Joined: Wed May 09, 2012 3:08 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby airdrik » Mon Jul 18, 2016 2:28 pm UTC

richP wrote:
CharlieP wrote:
Soupspoon wrote:1 Or rather 'about 5ft' or 1.5m for those that prefer metric, which looks like a sloppy way of describing an actual regulatory specification of 'exactly 1.5m', or about five feet for those that prefer imperial.


That's one of my many pet hates - media sources converting an approximate figure with ridiculous precision. e.g. "...a range of around 100 miles (160.9344 km)..."


Agreed, but the reverse case (media overly simplifying) can be more jarring. Example: "the explosion threw debris over 300 hundred meters (yards) away."

At least meters and yards are close enough to each other that it doesn't really make much of a difference (especially with approximations like that). It certainly could be worse: "He got into his car and drove 200 kilometers (miles) to a nearby town", or ".. they came across a snake that was 3 centimeters (inches) in diameter"

User avatar
Copper Bezel
Posts: 2426
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 6:35 am UTC
Location: Web exclusive!

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby Copper Bezel » Mon Jul 18, 2016 4:37 pm UTC

Wee Red Bird wrote:IV is Roman Numerals for 4, but a lot of clocks use IIII instead.

They're usually arranged differently, though, with one of them sideways and another on a second line.
So much depends upon a red wheel barrow (>= XXII) but it is not going to be installed.

she / her / her

User avatar
Quizatzhaderac
Posts: 1598
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 5:28 pm UTC
Location: Space Florida

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Jul 18, 2016 9:53 pm UTC

airdrik wrote: It certainly could be worse: "He got into his car and drove 200 kilometers (miles) to a nearby town", or ".. they came across a snake that was 3 centimeters (inches) in diameter"
Worst of all, converting to Planck units: "He was caught driving 95 mph (c) after a 22 mile (plength) chase."
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

User avatar
orthogon
Posts: 3006
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 7:52 am UTC
Location: The Airy 1830 ellipsoid

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby orthogon » Tue Jul 19, 2016 7:24 pm UTC

This is possibly my favourite xkcd series, and they always make me chuckle. There are so many types of humour, from the absurd (exposed ductwork) to the witty (bezelled bevel) to the nerdy (Turing-complete).

I can't help thinking of a "Brexit phone", with features like:
- Automatically bars international calls to continental Europe
- Power connector changes each week requiring continual replacement of charger
- High lead and beryllium content
- Accented characters in SMS messages cause seg fault
- Choice of two ringtones: Rule Britannia or the theme from The Great Escape
Etc etc.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

airdrik
Posts: 238
Joined: Wed May 09, 2012 3:08 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby airdrik » Wed Jul 20, 2016 3:29 pm UTC

A few more features of the "Brexit phone":
- Liberated phone! (no longer complies with any of the EU standards)
- Detachable camera! (may detach at any moment and return to factory)
- Literal firewall (upon intrusion detection will light networking module on fire)
- Doesn't currently have a GPU, but don't worry, they'll make sure to put one in before they ship it.

User avatar
Echo244
Posts: 511
Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 9:49 am UTC
Location: Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping!

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby Echo244 » Wed Jul 20, 2016 3:51 pm UTC

- Plays Pink Floyd's Another Brick In The Wall instead of calling the number of, texting or visiting the website of any higher education institution (who are now struggling to get funding)
- Calls between England and Scotland charged at international rate from ~2018
Unstoppable force of nature. That means she/her/hers.
Has committed an act of treason.

User avatar
orthogon
Posts: 3006
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 7:52 am UTC
Location: The Airy 1830 ellipsoid

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby orthogon » Wed Jul 20, 2016 4:05 pm UTC

airdrik wrote: - Liberated phone! (no longer complies with any of the EU standards)

Thanks! Freedom from adherence to pesky EU standards like GSM was one of the original thoughts I had, and I can't believe I missed it off. I blame the heat.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

User avatar
Flumble
Yes Man
Posts: 2082
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 9:35 pm UTC

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby Flumble » Wed Jul 20, 2016 5:08 pm UTC

Let's not forget: buy now, because it won't get any cheaper!

User avatar
somitomi
Posts: 654
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:21 pm UTC
Location: can be found in Hungary
Contact:

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby somitomi » Sun Jul 24, 2016 3:09 pm UTC

cellocgw wrote:Subwoofer is right next to dog-whistle.

Hoping the crossover network has very steep slope, or there's gonna be some wicked feedback.

Now, before y'all get worried about the lack of stored energy (it does read "micro Amp-hr" :P ), maybe this phone only draws 1e-10 microAmps under normal use.
Let's see: organic display - no power needed (it gets it by drawing blood from whoever touches it); 12 Headphone jacks: Let's assume 5 V peak signal, then total of, say 1e-11 microAmp allocated means 5 V / ( 1e-11/12 microAmp) = 4.1667e+16 ohms impedance. No problem.

You can always strap a pocket battery on the back with a rubber band. It sounds hilarious, but I've heard of people doing it with soviet radios back, when "soviet radios" were still a thing (I mean back when "radio" was still a thing).
—◯-◯

User avatar
eviloatmeal
Posts: 562
Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2008 9:39 am UTC
Location: Upside down in space!
Contact:

Re: 1707: "xkcd Phone 4"

Postby eviloatmeal » Mon Aug 01, 2016 10:27 am UTC

Turing complete?! That's good news. I've yet to prove my current telephone is Turing complete. I've yet to manage to wade through all the boilerplate to make my telephone do anything at all to completion, let alone everything.
*** FREE SHIPPING ENABLED ***
Image
Riddles are abound tonightImage


Return to “Individual XKCD Comic Threads”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: mscha, Sandor and 33 guests