Page 1 of 2

1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 3:32 pm UTC
by Comrade Tiki
Image
alt-text:
Of course, "Number of times I've gotten to make a decision twice to know for sure how it would have turned out" is still at 0.


...

Comic contains some good advice that's never well-received. :(

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 3:54 pm UTC
by HES
Hindsight is 20:20, etc.

I wonder if this is connected to the recent moving boxes comic?

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 3:54 pm UTC
by Flumble
The big question is: where do we go?

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:09 pm UTC
by Apeiron
Gotten. Have gotten.

SMH.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:11 pm UTC
by Soupspoon
Where do we go from here?
Why is the path unclear?
When we know hope is near...
Understand we'll go hand in hand,
But we'll walk alone in fear.

Where do we go from here..?

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:16 pm UTC
by JudeMorrigan
Apeiron wrote:Gotten. Have gotten.

SMH.

It's perfectly cromulent American English.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:25 pm UTC
by yakkoTDI
Obligatory "Should I stay or should I go" lyrics.

Darling you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I'll be here 'til the end of time
So you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

It's always tease, tease, tease
You're happy when I'm on my knees
One day it's fine and next it's black
So if you want me off your back
Well, come on and let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go, there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know

This indecision's bugging me (esta indecision me molesta)
If you don't want me, set me free (si no me quieres, librame)
Exactly whom I'm supposed to be (digame que tengo ser)
Don't you know which clothes even fit me? (no sabes que ropas me queda)
Come on and let me know (me tienes que decir)
Should I cool it or should I blow? (me debo ir o quedarme)

Split

Should I stay or should I go now? (yo me enfrio o lo soplo)
Should I stay or should I go now? (yo me enfrio o lo soplo)
If I go there will be trouble (si me voy va a haber peligro)
And if I stay it will be double (si me quedo sera el doble)
So ya gotta let me know (me tienes que decir)
Should I cool it or should I blow? (me debo ir o quedarme)

Should I stay or should I go now? (tengo frío por los ojos)
If I go there will be touble (tengo frio por los ojos)
And if I stay it wil be double
Si me quedo sera el doble
So ya gotta let me know me tienes que decir
Should I stay or should I go?

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:26 pm UTC
by Whizbang
Oh, shit! He's quitting xkcd!

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:31 pm UTC
by cellocgw
Whizbang wrote:Oh, shit! He's quitting xkcd!


No, just going to higher ground in advance of the next Zanclean Flood.

Or maybe it's just time for another "balloon" :

If it keeps on rainin' levee's goin' to break
If it keeps on rainin' levee's goin' to break
When the levee breaks I'll have no place to stay.
Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan
Lord mean old levee taught me to weep and moan
Got what it takes to make a mountain man leave his home

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:39 pm UTC
by PracticalM
Did you ever have to make up your mind
Pick up on one and leave the other behind
It's not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind

Did you ever have to finally decide
Say yes to one and let the other one ride
There's so many changes and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:47 pm UTC
by squall_line
JudeMorrigan wrote:
Apeiron wrote:Gotten. Have gotten.

SMH.

It's perfectly cromulent American English.


Not only is it acceptable, but "I've gotten" is "I have gotten".

I may be misinterpreting Aperion, however. It's difficult to understand what he/she is trying to say with his/her post.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:49 pm UTC
by Tub
This sounds a lot less motivational when you take it as relationship advice.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:51 pm UTC
by gmalivuk
squall_line wrote:
JudeMorrigan wrote:
Apeiron wrote:Gotten. Have gotten.

SMH.

It's perfectly cromulent American English.


Not only is it acceptable, but "I've gotten" is "I have gotten".

I may be misinterpreting Aperion, however. It's difficult to understand what he/she is trying to say with his/her post.

I think they're whining about the American "have gotten" instead of the British "have got".

But of course, if you don't like American English, you should probably stop reading an American webcomic.

Tub wrote:This sound a lot less motivational when you take it as relationship advice.

Depends on the relationship. DTMFA is sometimes the best advice, and sometimes hearing it from someone else is what one needs to get out of a bad relationship.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 5:17 pm UTC
by chrisjwmartin
gmalivuk wrote:
squall_line wrote:
JudeMorrigan wrote:
Apeiron wrote:Gotten. Have gotten.

SMH.

It's perfectly cromulent American English.

Not only is it acceptable, but "I've gotten" is "I have gotten".

I may be misinterpreting Aperion, however. It's difficult to understand what he/she is trying to say with his/her post.

I think they're whining about the American "have gotten" instead of the British "have got".

But of course, if you don't like American English, you should probably stop reading an American webcomic.

One of my favourites in that vein was when the transporter chief in a TOS episode said, "You didn't have to shove me, Mr. Spock, I'd have gotten round to it." Which is fine - it's an American show, after all - except that the transporter chief, Kyle, is supposed to be English.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 5:26 pm UTC
by Tub
gmalivuk wrote:
Tub wrote:This sound a lot less motivational when you take it as relationship advice.

Depends on the relationship. DTMFA is sometimes the best advice, and sometimes hearing it from someone else is what one needs to get out of a bad relationship.

Well, duh, there are relationships worth keeping and there are relationships worth running from. But, unlike a job, most people's goal in dating is to eventually settle (maybe get married, reproduce, pay off a mortgage, ..), and that won't happen if you keep searching forever.

I understand that randall is married, and also certainly a pragmatist about these things. I'm sure with enough effort both he and I could find better partners than the ones we have, but I'm also sure he'll agree that it's not worth it.

Then again, I guess it's about figuring out whether one feels "not really happy" because of a truly bad relationship or just "not really happy" because one cannot be bothered to help with the dishes. YMMV, and settling too soon is as bad a decision as never settling.

Also, with relationships, those two marks on the left side look way sadder than a missed job opportunity.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 5:30 pm UTC
by ps.02
Also, can we rule out confirmation bias? What if Randall just happened to forget all those times he asked himself if he should stay committed to whatever situation but it turned out to be just a moment of doubt in what really was a good thing after all? I could see how YOLites might have this problem.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 6:00 pm UTC
by gmalivuk
chrisjwmartin wrote:
gmalivuk wrote:
squall_line wrote:
JudeMorrigan wrote:
Apeiron wrote:Gotten. Have gotten.

SMH.

It's perfectly cromulent American English.

Not only is it acceptable, but "I've gotten" is "I have gotten".

I may be misinterpreting Aperion, however. It's difficult to understand what he/she is trying to say with his/her post.

I think they're whining about the American "have gotten" instead of the British "have got".

But of course, if you don't like American English, you should probably stop reading an American webcomic.

One of my favourites in that vein was when the transporter chief in a TOS episode said, "You didn't have to shove me, Mr. Spock, I'd have gotten round to it." Which is fine - it's an American show, after all - except that the transporter chief, Kyle, is supposed to be English.
That actor is English, though. It's not like "gotten" is absent from British English, it's just the less common past participle. (And "round" instead of "around" is definitely a Britishism as well.)

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 6:06 pm UTC
by JudeMorrigan
Also, TOS was set in the mid- to late-2200s. Who's to say what common usage would be that far in the future?

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 6:09 pm UTC
by gmalivuk
We know from TNG that all French people eventually start speaking with British accents.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 6:13 pm UTC
by colonel_hack
Look out, here comes tomorrow,
That's when I'll have to choose.
How I wish I could borrow,
Someone else's shoes.

Mary, oh what a sweet girl,
Lips like strawberry pie.
Sandra, the long hair and pig tails,
Can't make up my mind.

I see all kinds of sorrow,
Wish I only loved one.
Look out, here comes tomorrow,
Oh how I wish tomorrow would never come.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 6:38 pm UTC
by Sableagle
gmalivuk wrote:... the American "have gotten" instead of the British "have got".
I prefer to think of "gotten" as preserving the old German verb ending.
Tub wrote:Well, duh, there are relationships worth keeping and there are relationships worth running from.
... knows that the secret to survivin' is knowing what to throw away an' knowing what to keep, because every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser ...

Tub wrote:... most people's goal in dating is to eventually settle (maybe get married, reproduce, pay off a mortgage, ..), and that won't happen if you keep searching forever.
Whereas if you don't search at all getting divorced, paying off an ex-wife's mortgage, consoling your heartbroken children and/or burying dead ones never happens and you'll never feel you wasted a fortune putting them through university just to have them get the same job(s) with "only" a 2:2 as they could have got with "only" their GCSE grades ...

... an' the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep. You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run. You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table. There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 7:07 pm UTC
by Ogie
Wow... I REALLY needed this today. You have no idea. Thanks Randall!

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:38 pm UTC
by J%r
Is it bad that I initially thought it was about suicide?

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:07 pm UTC
by A-Real-Dinosaur
I think this xkcd comic caused a lot of HR departments pain.

Including mine quite possibly.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 10:39 pm UTC
by rivulatus
Am fully in the "should have left earlier" group at work at the moment.

This comic speaks to me very well this week.

Handing in my resignation is incoming.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 11:18 pm UTC
by Flumble
J%r wrote:Is it bad that I initially thought it was about suicide?

There might be perfectly reasonable reasons for you to initially link it to suicide.
There might also be not. It's hard to tell when you don't voice your whole environment, relations, identity, history and more. :roll:

Do you use a Facebook account? Perhaps Facebook knows.
When will Facebook start giving advice to people who need public services, rather than advertisements for chocolate?

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 11:42 pm UTC
by PinkShinyRose
Flumble wrote:Do you use a Facebook account? Perhaps Facebook knows.
When will Facebook start giving advice to people who need public services, rather than advertisements for chocolate?

When someone pays them to? It could be a charity buying the ads from Facebook.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 11:51 pm UTC
by EugeneStyles
gmalivuk wrote:Depends on the relationship. DTMFA is sometimes the best advice.


I thought DTMFA meant Down To Make F*** Alot.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 3:56 am UTC
by azule
J%r wrote:Is it bad that I initially thought it was about suicide?

How many lives do you have? I mean how many have you gotten?

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 4:15 am UTC
by Mjb
The sample size is too small. Everyone start recording your stay/leave decisions, preferably categorized as career/relationship/other, and meet back here in five years.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 8:43 am UTC
by somitomi
azule wrote:
J%r wrote:Is it bad that I initially thought it was about suicide?

How many lives do you have? I mean how many have you gotten?

Maybe he's a character from an old video game, who gets three lives for a quarter.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 10:29 am UTC
by Flumble
Mjb wrote:The sample size is too small. Everyone start recording your stay/leave decisions, preferably categorized as career/relationship/other, and meet back here in five years.

Other:
  • this topic: stay

I don't think I'll regret it.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 11:05 am UTC
by yan
Flumble wrote:
J%r wrote:Is it bad that I initially thought it was about suicide?

There might be perfectly reasonable reasons for you to initially link it to suicide.
There might also be not. It's hard to tell when you don't voice your whole environment, relations, identity, history and more. :roll:

Do you use a Facebook account? Perhaps Facebook knows.
When will Facebook start giving advice to people who need public services, rather than advertisements for chocolate?

Chocolate probably isn't the worst advice you can get in such cases.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 11:28 am UTC
by Flumble
yan wrote:Chocolate probably isn't the worst advice you can get in such cases.

True, and cocaine isn't the worst drug to get addicted to. :roll:

I think it's worse than no advertisement, let alone a PSA.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 3:41 pm UTC
by DanD
Flumble wrote:
J%r wrote:Is it bad that I initially thought it was about suicide?

There might be perfectly reasonable reasons for you to initially link it to suicide.
There might also be not. It's hard to tell when you don't voice your whole environment, relations, identity, history and more. :roll:

Do you use a Facebook account? Perhaps Facebook knows.
When will Facebook start giving advice to people who need public services, rather than advertisements for chocolate?


You mean like this?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/2 ... 54106.html

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 3:45 pm UTC
by RicketyEng
Both of these categories are only counting the times you made the wrong decision. Shouldn't there be a third category for the times you decided to stay and it turned out to be the correct decision? What could be a fourth column for the times you left and it turned out to be the right decision can be combined with the times you didn't leave and should have left sooner.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 4:29 pm UTC
by sotanaht
I think the statistics here are misleading. Yes its rare that where you are now is the best you are going to get, but once you've been at the best you can by definition never hope to get as good or better. Basically if you leave something good it's far, far worse than staying at something not-as-good for too long.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 4:56 pm UTC
by orthogon
This is more or less the Secretary Problem, isn't it?

ETA: Actually it's a bit different, in that the decision at each stage is is how long to stay with each candidate (not whether to stop or not), and the cost function being optimised is something like the time-integral of the quality of the candidates (not the quality of the final "stopping" candidate). I say "something like the time integral" because you probably want to optimise your remembered happiness, which Kahneman has shown to be highly biased to the most recent past (see his book Thinking Fast and Slow). In fact, this phenomenon probably makes it more like the Secretary problem after all.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 6:47 pm UTC
by JohnTheWysard
J%r wrote:Is it bad that I initially thought it was about suicide?


Ow. That possibility struck me too (especially since my nephew took that option last month). But I'm sure that was NOT the intention.

Re: 1768: "Settling"

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 7:15 pm UTC
by Flumble

That's a neat feature. However, it's an end-user action (which is also really in-your-face, going by the screenshots in that article) rather than something calculated by facebook's algorithms.