1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

This forum is for the individual discussion thread that goes with each new comic.

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

Codesmith
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2011 4:03 pm UTC

1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby Codesmith » Mon Nov 13, 2017 2:21 pm UTC

Image

Text: "...just got back and didn't see your message until just now. Sorry! -- TIME THIS MESSAGE SAT HALF-FINISHED IN DRAFTS FOLDER: 3 days, 2 hours, 45 minutes."

https://xkcd.com/1915/

No no no no no... Bug, not feature.. BUG!

User avatar
Wee Red Bird
Posts: 145
Joined: Wed Apr 24, 2013 11:50 am UTC
Location: In a tree

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby Wee Red Bird » Mon Nov 13, 2017 2:40 pm UTC

Almost everything else lets the other user know you've opened their message, so pulling the "I just noticed..." trick doesn't work.
Emails were the first of them and had read receipts, but I always turn them off.

speising
Posts: 2078
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 4:54 pm UTC
Location: wien

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby speising » Mon Nov 13, 2017 2:46 pm UTC

Of course, IM's already have that feature, see https://xkcd.com/1886/

chenille
Posts: 398
Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2011 7:25 pm UTC

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby chenille » Mon Nov 13, 2017 3:24 pm UTC

There is an answer: copy, new message, paste. Let sit what seems a socially appropriate amount of time, as determined by looking anxiously back and forth between your message and the clock and wondering where your life went so horribly wrong.

User avatar
somitomi
Posts: 459
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:21 pm UTC
Location: can be found in Hungary
Contact:

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby somitomi » Mon Nov 13, 2017 3:34 pm UTC

chenille wrote:There is an answer: copy, new message, paste. Let sit what seems a socially appropriate amount of time, as determined by looking anxiously back and forth between your message and the clock and wondering where your life went so horribly wrong.

You obviously can't do that, since looking at your completed message for any more time than strictly necessary will make you doubt you chose the best possible phrasing and tone for your email. The only way to avoid rewriting your e-mail over and over eternally is the "no backsies" of having sent it.
"It's like he's his own alt account. Saves all the logging in and out."/poxic
they/them/theirs = he/him/his ❖ If you want to use something else out of dadaist spite, I won't mind.
✆ Hello? This is Forum Games Discord, what is your emergency?

User avatar
cellocgw
Posts: 1770
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:40 pm UTC

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby cellocgw » Mon Nov 13, 2017 3:49 pm UTC

Better yet,
forward the email to a different account you own, forget to log on to that account, and thus respond very late.

Or the standard:
type up a response
print it out
place it on a wooden table and photograph it
scan the photo into an image
run OCR on the image
send the converted text
https://app.box.com/witthoftresume
Former OTTer
Vote cellocgw for President 2020. #ScienceintheWhiteHouse http://cellocgw.wordpress.com
"The Planck length is 3.81779e-33 picas." -- keithl
" Earth weighs almost exactly π milliJupiters" -- what-if #146, note 7

jozwa
Posts: 119
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2009 3:16 pm UTC
Location: Finland

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby jozwa » Mon Nov 13, 2017 3:50 pm UTC

speising wrote:Of course, IM's already have that feature, see https://xkcd.com/1886/


One time at work I was doing that, trying to think how to phrase a reply to someone on Slack. After a short while they actually come out of their office to ask what I'm writing. So time's up, huh.

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 2533
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby Soupspoon » Mon Nov 13, 2017 3:58 pm UTC

jozwa wrote:
speising wrote:Of course, IM's already have that feature, see https://xkcd.com/1886/


One time at work I was doing that, trying to think how to phrase a reply to someone on Slack. After a short while they actually come out of their office to ask what I'm writing. So time's up, huh.


Then your boss1 came out of their office and politely enquired why you were both slacking off.

1 Or both your bosses, or their boss if they were your boss. Ok, so let's just say the LCB - Lowest Common Boss

SuicideJunkie
Posts: 157
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 2:40 pm UTC

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby SuicideJunkie » Mon Nov 13, 2017 6:32 pm UTC

somitomi wrote:You obviously can't do that, since looking at your completed message for any more time than strictly necessary will make you doubt you chose the best possible phrasing and tone for your email. The only way to avoid rewriting your e-mail over and over eternally is the "no backsies" of having sent it.

That's why you paste your message, and then have a script to hide the window, wait an appropriate amount of time +/- a random factor to appear legit, and then send it for you.

The main danger of this is walking over to someone's desk, and then while you're in the middle of talking to them, they get an email from you. After the first few incidents, there is no plausible explanation, so you're best just going with a generic comment on IT the network being flaky again. Until they notice it only happens with your messages.

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 2533
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby Soupspoon » Mon Nov 13, 2017 6:39 pm UTC

The answer to that problem is to use (or gain) administrator rights to get into the Mail Delivery Sysytem and randomly delay (and timestamp-alter) everyone else's messages, at the same rate you delay your own.

Then you can blame the IT system, as well. Leaving you even more honest!

User avatar
keithl
Posts: 611
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2011 3:46 pm UTC

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby keithl » Mon Nov 13, 2017 6:56 pm UTC

Longest delayed email reply? That's gotta be "What Hath God Wrought", the first long distance telegraph message from Washington DC to Baltimore in 1844. They have yet to receive a satisfactory reply.

The reply I would send would be so controversial that this thread would run longer than "Time", and lead to nuclear war. So I have a great reason for email procrastination.

qvxb
Posts: 84
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2016 10:20 pm UTC

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby qvxb » Mon Nov 13, 2017 11:34 pm UTC

An additional feature - songs that play until the reply is sent.

Time is on My Side. Rolling Stones

How the Time Flies. Jerry Wallace

Time. Chambers Brothers

No Time. The Guess Who

Out of Time. Rolling Stones

As Time Goes By. Dooley Wilson

What Time is It? The Jive Five

Time After Time. Cyndi Pauper

How Long has this Been Going On? Ace

The NeverEnding Story. Limahl

User avatar
sfmans
Posts: 98
Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2014 9:09 am UTC
Location: High Peak, UK

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby sfmans » Tue Nov 14, 2017 6:49 am UTC

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day ...

User avatar
somitomi
Posts: 459
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:21 pm UTC
Location: can be found in Hungary
Contact:

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby somitomi » Tue Nov 14, 2017 10:08 am UTC

sfmans wrote:Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day ...

"Wasting my time,
Resting my mind
And I'll never pine
For the sad days and the bad days..."


Or maybe this one:
"Stealin' time, I've been stealin' time
But I don't feel guilty, cause the time was mine"
"It's like he's his own alt account. Saves all the logging in and out."/poxic
they/them/theirs = he/him/his ❖ If you want to use something else out of dadaist spite, I won't mind.
✆ Hello? This is Forum Games Discord, what is your emergency?

User avatar
pkcommando
Posts: 477
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2012 3:22 pm UTC
Location: Allston, MA

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby pkcommando » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:53 pm UTC

If you really want the person to reply quickly, obviously you want the Jeopardy music playing.
"The Universe is for raptors now!" say Raptors, as they take over all of Universe.

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 2533
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby Soupspoon » Tue Nov 14, 2017 1:27 pm UTC

pkcommando wrote:If you really want the person to reply quickly, obviously you want the Jeopardy music playing.

Just looked this up. Seems so sedate, with no actual jeopardy!

Countdown, however...

User avatar
orthogon
Posts: 2724
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 7:52 am UTC
Location: The Airy 1830 ellipsoid

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby orthogon » Tue Nov 14, 2017 1:40 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:
pkcommando wrote:If you really want the person to reply quickly, obviously you want the Jeopardy music playing.

Just looked this up. Seems so sedate, with no actual jeopardy!

Countdown, however...

I was thinking of the Countdown music too. It jumps automatically to mind in any circumstances in which somebody has to answer something in a limited time, or to imply that they're failing to give a satisfactory response in an appropriately timely manner:

A: Do you want a cup of tea?
B: erm ...
A: "DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO doo-be-do-be-doo... dudoo dudoo diddley doo BOOOM"

It also features plenty of vibroslap, which is always a Good Thing.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

User avatar
colonel_hack
Posts: 31
Joined: Sat Nov 27, 2010 5:50 am UTC

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby colonel_hack » Wed Nov 15, 2017 5:35 am UTC

qvxb wrote:An additional feature - songs that play until the reply is sent.
[Snip]

I love themed song lists...

Tico Tico. Carmen Miranda
Cuckoo Clock - The Beach Boys
Time - Pink Floyd
Quarter To Three - Gary U.S. Bonds
Time in a bottle - Jim Croce
Time warp - Rocky Horror
Time won;t let me - Outsiders
Rock around the clock - Bill Haley
Reelin' & Rockin' - Chuck Berry
16 years ago - Conway Twitty
Yesterday - Beatles
Reelin in the years - Steely Dan
To much time on my hands - Styx
Time Passages -Al Stewart
Get Me to the World on Time - Electric Prunes
Train to tomorrow - Electric prunes
Waiting for a girl like you - Foreigner
I Can't Get Her Off My Mind - Monkees
Saturday's Child - Monkees
This Just Doesn't Seem To Be My Day - Monkees
Tomorrow's Gonna Be Another Day - Monkees
Look Out Here Comes Tomorrow - Monkees
Sometime in the morning - Monkees
Time of the season - Zombies
If I Stay Too Long - The Creation
Anything by Strawberry Alarm clock
In the year 2525 - Zager & Evens
25 or 6 to 4 - Chicago
The Casinos - "Then You Can Tell Me Goodbye"
Fly like an eagle - Steve Miller band
As time goes by - ``Sam'' (Dooley Wilson)
Waiting for a Train - Jimmie Rodgers
Little Willie won't go home - The Sweet
When will I be loved - Everly brothers

Ron

leafar
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2014 3:57 pm UTC

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby leafar » Wed Nov 15, 2017 8:14 am UTC

qvxb wrote:An additional feature - songs that play until the reply is sent.
(...)
Time After Time. Cyndi Pauper

Is that a poor man's cover band of Cyndi Lauper's hits? 8-)

Billy5545
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Nov 14, 2017 10:43 am UTC
Location: Surabaya, Indonesia

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby Billy5545 » Mon Nov 20, 2017 5:49 am UTC

Why did that person take such a long time to revise an email?

User avatar
Eebster the Great
Posts: 2769
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:58 am UTC

Re: 1915: "Nightmare Email Feature"

Postby Eebster the Great » Mon Nov 20, 2017 5:55 am UTC

Billy5545 wrote:Why did that person take such a long time to revise an email?

This question is exactly why we live in fear of such a feature ever being introduced.


Return to “Individual XKCD Comic Threads”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google Feedfetcher, Iranon and 70 guests