2015: New Phone Thread

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NotAllThere
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2015: New Phone Thread

Postby NotAllThere » Wed Jul 04, 2018 12:13 pm UTC

Image

Title Text: I'm going to tell the manufacturer that their business practices are ADMIRABLE and ETHICAL and their developers are ATTRACTIVE and I'm going to report them to the FCC for their IMPECCABLE VIRTUE.

https://xkcd.com/2015/
yangosplat wrote:So many amazing quotes, so little room in 300 characters!

NotAllThere
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby NotAllThere » Wed Jul 04, 2018 12:19 pm UTC

Whoa, weird!
I'm looking at my timeline on my friend's phone and some of my posts look wrong.
What the hell?
I mean the words are wrong.
That's not what I typed!
???????????
I think new phone is broken.
It's doing it again.
Those are not my words!
Help!
How do I explain?
It's taking the words I type and changing them
Forget it, I give up.
I'm getting rid of this phone, it's awful.
What?!?
Don't buy this phone!
Aaaaa help
I hate it!!!!!

As I keep saying. Don't buy iThings.
yangosplat wrote:So many amazing quotes, so little room in 300 characters!

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Sableagle
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby Sableagle » Wed Jul 04, 2018 1:17 pm UTC

I am a normal human typing with my human hands.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

Garnasha
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby Garnasha » Wed Jul 04, 2018 2:13 pm UTC

"Mý fone ïs çaeñsoaring wat eye taip. My Brave 'Mobile Pro 3' is like something from a wholly New World. "

Wonder which of those three methods would work? Unicode, fonetik substitoosion, or thinly veiled references?

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sardia
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby sardia » Wed Jul 04, 2018 2:58 pm UTC

Isn't this more of a problem in review sites than phones? Fake reviews instead of phone censoring you. Still a funny comic

rmsgrey
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby rmsgrey » Wed Jul 04, 2018 3:05 pm UTC

Garnasha wrote:"Mý fone ïs çaeñsoaring wat eye taip. My Brave 'Mobile Pro 3' is like something from a wholly New World. "

Wonder which of those three methods would work? Unicode, fonetik substitoosion, or thinly veiled references?


My technological telecommunications device malefically substitutes verbiage not accurately portraying my intended sentiments.

Just using obscure vocabulary has a good chance of working - or at least leaving a clear change in style as a result of the find-and-replace.

qvxb
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby qvxb » Wed Jul 04, 2018 4:21 pm UTC

It's not really a phone if it doesn't have a dial.

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Sableagle
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby Sableagle » Wed Jul 04, 2018 4:53 pm UTC

I am thrilled by my new Palantír.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Soupspoon
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby Soupspoon » Wed Jul 04, 2018 5:26 pm UTC

sardia wrote:Isn't this more of a problem in review sites than phones? Fake reviews instead of phone censoring you.
Or rather that people with a gripe (of whatever size, with whatever actual connection to the thing being griped about) are more motivated to review than the seamlessly-transitioned ones.

Sableagle wrote:I am thrilled by my new Palantír.

My two-cups-and-a-piece-of-string works perfectly. For people exactly 8'3" away from me. As long as there isn't a thick stone wall in the way (or a thin stone wall, brick and/or concrete wall, wooden fence/stud-wall-partition, plasterboard, glass or perspex window, awkwardly planted sapling, precious/non-precious vase, camp-fire, person with scissors…). Might work round corners, but at significant reduction of effective range and sound quality. ★★★★☆ (at least until the availability of half-stars, and white string to make it look like it's an Apple product).

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da Doctah
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby da Doctah » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:49 pm UTC

The joke here appears to be that the posts look like a perfectly reasonable chain of comments that someone might type, but they're really what the phone put there in place of the completely unrelated conversation that the user actually typed.

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Soupspoon
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby Soupspoon » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:20 pm UTC

It does look like it's editing things to their reverse.

But at least it isn't trying to speak to parliament!

niauropsaka
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby niauropsaka » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:40 pm UTC

I read this forwards, then backwards, then understood it on the third read-through.

The non-obviousness makes the idea scarier, I think.

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Sableagle
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby Sableagle » Wed Jul 04, 2018 9:57 pm UTC

"Siri, search the UK Houses of Parliament for conversations about security arrangements for Trump's visit to the UK."
"Yes, Michael. I've found two conversations about that. I've saved them for you to listen to later, and am preparing transcripts."
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Soupspoon
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby Soupspoon » Wed Jul 04, 2018 10:06 pm UTC

It's why the opposition benches are two Siri-lengths away.

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StClair
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby StClair » Wed Jul 04, 2018 10:47 pm UTC

Kill it. While you can.
If you can.

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Sir Lunch-a-lot
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby Sir Lunch-a-lot » Wed Jul 04, 2018 11:24 pm UTC

StClair wrote:Kill it. While you can.
If you can.


Reminds me of a nightmare I once had where my cell phone, of its own volition, was texting into a Radio talk show contributing to a rather complex political debate. Then I took the battery out and it still wouldn't stop...

Morgan Wick
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby Morgan Wick » Thu Jul 05, 2018 9:41 am UTC

I thought this was a Beret Guy-like thread of someone amazed that their phone would record what they say so accurately... then I saw the alt text.

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cellocgw
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby cellocgw » Thu Jul 05, 2018 11:20 am UTC

qvxb wrote:It's not really a phone if it doesn't have a dial.


Here You Go
https://app.box.com/witthoftresume
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GlassHouses
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby GlassHouses » Thu Jul 05, 2018 1:09 pm UTC

Garnasha wrote:"Mý fone ïs çaeñsoaring wat eye taip. My Brave 'Mobile Pro 3' is like something from a wholly New World. "

Wonder which of those three methods would work? Unicode, fonetik substitoosion, or thinly veiled references?

The first can be defeated by stripping accents before analyzing the text. The analysis would have to be based on a dictionary that is likewise accent-free, but that's easy to do and also happens to be how text analysis tends to be done anyway.

The second can be defeated by converting text to speech (doesn't have to be all the way to audio; conversion to a string of phonemes is all that's needed here), and then converting the phonemes back to text using a statistical language model, so you'll get sequences of words that actually make sense.

The third method won't work because even the intended recipient won't understand what you're trying to say. :)

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Old Bruce
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby Old Bruce » Thu Jul 05, 2018 3:34 pm UTC

Perhaps the problem could be solved by using a different leopard. [winkey-face emoticon]

pscottdv
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Re: 2015: New Phone Thread

Postby pscottdv » Thu Jul 05, 2018 5:00 pm UTC

Having a phone like that would be a real joy to behold.


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