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2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:30 pm UTC
by CopiousWaistcoats
Image

Alt Text: CORRECTION: After careful evaluation, we have determined that the axis label on this chart was printed backward.

In the original translation, the dwarves that made Thor's hammer were known as Milwaukee and DeWalt, but they got sued into changing their names in all subsequent translations. Excellent toolmakers, dwarves, but terrible taste in lawyers

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:41 pm UTC
by Soupspoon
"Beware, enemies of Asgard! For I join you in battle wielding Flutningamaður, the IC Extractor Of The Gods!"

(And if that doesn't work, I have Kýlaniður, the Krone Tool Of The Gods.)

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 6:00 pm UTC
by pkcommando
Which would have better helped him aim for the head?

Also - where does the sonic screwdriver fit on this? Someone has to ask this. (Okay, maybe not, but it's being asked anyway.)

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 6:06 pm UTC
by drazen
Forgot Thor's T Square, Thor's Cordless Drill, Thor's Cat's Paw (with apologies to Lion-O), and Thor's Trowel.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 6:10 pm UTC
by speising
far to the left: Chainsaw.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 6:22 pm UTC
by p96
RJ11 Crimp Tool of the Modem Gods.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 6:57 pm UTC
by anian
I hope that one on the right is using a Dremel.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 7:09 pm UTC
by keithl
My niece does marketing for Black & Decker. This cartoon may threaten their lucrative Dustbuster infantry weapons contract with the US Army. She may be demoted to the Stanley Blunt Instrument division.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 7:17 pm UTC
by chenille
pkcommando wrote:Which would have better helped him aim for the head?

I'm guessing the shovel. Nobody makes the mistake of trying to pinpoint vital organs with a shovel. And I know in movies a shovel to the head does more to incapacitate criminals than a flamethrower to the head, iron to the face, paint can to the face, and two-story fall all put together, even if it's just an aluminum snow shovel wielded by an old man.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 7:35 pm UTC
by formerJIM33333
Thor with a shovel is just Shovel Knight.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 8:01 pm UTC
by xtifr
Dr. Who fans are probably upset at how far down (up?) the chart screwdrivers are located.

Me, I'm wondering where staple removers fit.

In any case, it's important to remember the lesson offered by the game Munchkin: anything can be a dangerous weapon as long as you describe it as "...of Doom". "He wields the mighty Spirit Level of Doom!"

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 8:11 pm UTC
by Pfhorrest
"Spirit Level" already sounds like it should be some kind of mystical weapon or something; like, something that mows down souls or something. The "...of Doom" version just sounds like it got turned to the dark side.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 8:15 pm UTC
by rmsgrey
xtifr wrote:Dr. Who fans are probably upset at how far down (up?) the chart screwdrivers are located.


Meh, it only lists flathead and phillips. Not that a phillips-head spear wouldn't make for an effective twist on Gungnir (Odin's spear).

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 9:24 pm UTC
by da Doctah
Because the 9-11 hijackers used box-cutters, TLS confiscates all "tools" at the security checkpoint.

Which is how my mother lost the locking pliers she had in her wheelchair.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 9:31 pm UTC
by BrianK
<pedantic mode>
Circular saws and Dremels are POWER tools, not hand tools. Crosscut saws, chisels, and files are HAND tools.
</pedantic mode>

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 10:21 pm UTC
by moody7277
You can do the same spinning trick with a socket wrench/ratchet as they show Thor doing with his hammer's strap.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 10:40 pm UTC
by Jorpho
I don't suppose anyone here kept reading Erfworld? It's astonishing that's gone on as long as it has; it was rather baffling and unfunny during its time alongside The Order of the Stick at giantitp.com .

But it springs to mind for its use of the legendary Arkenhammer, opposed by the mighty Arkenpliers, and ... a variety of other things I never cared to find out about.

Also, I reckon a clipboard would be pretty high on the list, because there's never any chance of stopping someone angrily walking around with a clipboard.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 1:29 am UTC
by rmsgrey
Jorpho wrote:I don't suppose anyone here kept reading Erfworld? It's astonishing that's gone on as long as it has; it was rather baffling and unfunny during its time alongside The Order of the Stick at giantitp.com .

But it springs to mind for its use of the legendary Arkenhammer, opposed by the mighty Arkenpliers, and ... a variety of other things I never cared to find out about.


There's the Arkendish, and the Arkenshoes that have been confirmed. There is much speculation about whether there are more than the four.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 2:33 am UTC
by rhhardin
No man's plenum, Mr. Quistgaard, is impervious to the awl of God's will.

https://tinyurl.com/y98ktnog

Barthelme, Snow White

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 1:06 pm UTC
by mathmannix
Ok, so what exactly is a Dremel? I tried looking it up, but all I got was that it is a company that is known for "hand held rotary tools", but that doesn't really help me either, and honestly makes me think of phones. Also they apparently make such diverse other products as hot glue guns and 3D printers...

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 2:12 pm UTC
by somitomi
Even if the axis label was later revealed to be backward, I fail to see how anyone could think a hammer is better than an axe even for a second. An axe can do anything a hammer can, but it also has a blade for crying out loud.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 2:21 pm UTC
by Kit.
Punsaw is unsurprisingly omitted.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:04 pm UTC
by rmsgrey
somitomi wrote:Even if the axis label was later revealed to be backward, I fail to see how anyone could think a hammer is better than an axe even for a second. An axe can do anything a hammer can, but it also has a blade for crying out loud.

When's the last time you cut your finger sharpening your hammer?

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:10 pm UTC
by ObsessoMom
BrianK wrote:<pedantic mode>
Circular saws and Dremels are POWER tools, not hand tools. Crosscut saws, chisels, and files are HAND tools.
</pedantic mode>


Yes. This. Randall seems to have overlooked the second part of the definition:
hand tool
noun a tool held in the hand and operated without electricity or other power
Image
I'm trying to picture how a jackhammer would work without electricity or other power. Pedals? But that would make it a foot tool....

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:44 pm UTC
by Soupspoon
mathmannix wrote:Ok, so what exactly is a Dremel? I tried looking it up, but all I got was that it is a company that is known for "hand held rotary tools", but that doesn't really help me either, and honestly makes me think of phones. Also they apparently make such diverse other products as hot glue guns and 3D printers...

The most publicly ubiquitous Dremels (their "Dremel multi tool"s), IMO, are basically hand-held screw/drill/brush/etc-drivers that are either mains-cable or battery-pack powered. I nearly replied as such to Drazen's "Thor's Cordless Drill" suggestion, but corded Dremel multi-tool rotary drill(/etc)-bit versions are probably more useful for less than casual jobs, like using in a drill-stand frame or other such device for routing/gouging, for consistency and control of torque.

They do make a lot of different items, but it's sort of like Hoover make washing machines and fridges but a hoover is now something more specific in particular that may even not be made by Hoover. A few fewer years behind it, so "dremel" hasn't the same reputational ubiquity, and the wand-like Dremel form is probably still set in the more amateur/low scale end of use, compared to the gun-grip Black'n'Decker style of heavy duty cordless power-driver/drill/etc. Think dremel as 'dustbuster' to B&D's 'hoover', maybe? Although these days cordless hoovers (and/or dysons) are complicating the Euler diagrams of that.

(I think my dremels haven't taken bit-sizes greater than 5mm diameter, though that was enough to use them to punch some Cat5 cable through a 6" cast concrete dividing wall, with barely enough any of the slenderest bit I could find and a couple of battery recharges I think. When Imlater had to send a mains cable through, though, I had to break out the heavier type to accommodate the thicker bit needed. It was the better (and quicker) option for both but not at hand easily in the first case. The smaller tool generally got used for things like creatively slicing toy cars with an edge-cutting disk and using grinding* sanding and buffing ends on the result.)

ETA: Following point ninjaed by the above post, but does it really need to be hand-powered? Bench tools get powered by benches, as well as held by them?


So, anyway, is a soldering iron a hand tool or a power tool? Does it matter if it's a gas one? :mrgreen:


* "Mjolnir" can be translated as "(?flour?) grinder", you know. So do Norse gods use a "Mjolnr" App for hooking up with other like-minded Norse gods? ;)

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:50 pm UTC
by Kit.
ObsessoMom wrote:I'm trying to picture how a jackhammer would work without electricity or other power.

Like this.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 9:03 pm UTC
by JohnTheWysard
I think an awl would be a very impressive weapon, since of course Thor would have the Cosmic Awl.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 9:25 pm UTC
by somitomi
rmsgrey wrote:
somitomi wrote:Even if the axis label was later revealed to be backward, I fail to see how anyone could think a hammer is better than an axe even for a second. An axe can do anything a hammer can, but it also has a blade for crying out loud.

When's the last time you cut your finger sharpening your hammer?

I would expect the Axe of Doom to need no sharpening at all.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 9:35 pm UTC
by Plasma Mongoose
No mention of a chisel?

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 9:58 pm UTC
by ObsessoMom
Kit. wrote:
ObsessoMom wrote:I'm trying to picture how a jackhammer would work without electricity or other power.

Like this.


How have I lived this long without one of those? That's awesome. Thanks.

JohnTheWysard wrote:I think an awl would be a very impressive weapon, since of course Thor would have the Cosmic Awl.


And it would make him awl-powerful.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 10:23 pm UTC
by rick.s
drazen wrote:Forgot Thor's T Square, Thor's Cordless Drill, Thor's Cat's Paw (with apologies to Lion-O), and Thor's Trowel.


The way Marvel movies are made Thor would be throwing in the trowel often. :twisted: Some puns cannot be ignored.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 8:09 am UTC
by ijuin
JohnTheWysard wrote:I think an awl would be a very impressive weapon, since of course Thor would have the Cosmic Awl.

No, Odin has the awl. That’s why they call him the Awl-Father.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 6:09 am UTC
by Jorpho
Kit. wrote:
ObsessoMom wrote:I'm trying to picture how a jackhammer would work without electricity or other power.

Like this.

I was expecting https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMLrAcW3lUw .

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:07 pm UTC
by Archgeek
Jorpho wrote:
Kit. wrote:
ObsessoMom wrote:I'm trying to picture how a jackhammer would work without electricity or other power.

Like this.

I was expecting https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMLrAcW3lUw .

Considering who he is, methinks Thor's got the whole electricity angle covered. What's disturbing is the thought of a thrown, operating jackhammer that continues to run on its own. Nevermind that it's coursing with electricity and returns to the wielder.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:54 pm UTC
by ObsessoMom
Archgeek wrote:Considering who he is, methinks Thor's got the whole electricity angle covered.


Ah, good point. I do note the lack of a cord on the circular saw in the comic.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 5:01 pm UTC
by keldor
I'm thinking he needs a belt sander. Or maybe the scissors attachment of a Swiss Army Knife.
Anyway, dremels can be hazardous. Did you ever catch your hair in one?

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 5:22 pm UTC
by cellocgw
If Thor had a hammer;
He'd hammer in the morning,
He'd hammer in the evening,
All over Vahalla.
He'd hammer out danger
He'd hammer out a warning
He''d hammer out love between
My gods and my goddesses, ah-ah
All over Valhalla

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 5:51 pm UTC
by Soupspoon
Fresh new helm and cloak
You gotta like that, now your army's gonna broke.
So move, from the field unravel
As I make fly girl, then catch my gavel.
While it's moving, watch out
Bump a little bit and you'll know it's gonna clout.
Like that, like that
Goes on a mission, then flies on back.
The dwarves knows I like their gift
Of the mass that only me can lift.

Yo, I told you (You can't lift this)
Why you standing there, man? (You can't lift this)
Yo, sound the horn! Battles on, sucker! (You can't lift this)

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:44 am UTC
by x7eggert
somitomi wrote:Even if the axis label was later revealed to be backward, I fail to see how anyone could think a hammer is better than an axe even for a second. An axe can do anything a hammer can, but it also has a blade for crying out loud.

1) A hammer returns.
2) Good Luck against Frost Giants -50 % damage with non-blunt weapons.

Re: 2097: "Thor Tools"

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 12:08 pm UTC
by gcgcgcgc
What about the retractable tape measure of doom? Those come back automatically too (if you keep hold of the end with the spool) and can give a nasty cut with their metal edges.