eMacs? No, we used a standard Apple model at the time I was in elementary school.
...which I had to walk to uphill, both ways, in the freezing rain and snow every morning at 6:00 and the route was like a mile long if you took the path that didn't have the overgrowth with the thorns that ripped your clothing and rendered your super heavy coat pretty much ineffective.
...and it wasn't even walking because at the time I had lost control of my legs and so had to crawl with my upper body exclusively most days.
...and when we got to school, if you could call it that, was more like a set of cardboard boxes with no plumbing or heating, and was built to fit only like 10 people but had to hold 40 or 50.
...if you could call that fitting; the desks were double-decker to provide more floor space.
...if you can call them desks; they were more like slabs of wood with rocks to hold them off the ground.
...and that's if you got one that was made of wood.
...and then when I got to fifth grade we didn't even have boxes; instead they moved us out to potholes along the side of the road and shuffled us in between them for each class; the administration didn't have the budget for expansion because it was used "for technological development" which probably means that they used the funds for subscription to porn sites.
...if you could even call them porn sites; if I recall correctly they were more like charts from anatomy books.
...which they could only view on the five or so days when the phone lines weren't downed and the modem didn't get disconnected.
...and for extracurricular activities all the school had was boil removal training and hair exploratory.
...and that was when the hair exploratory instructor decided to actually show up.
...but at least, you know, the hair exploratory instructor was a hobo rather than a poison dart frog or Africanized honeybee.
...which was still better than the paramecium that we had as our principle and vice principle.
...and I think the superintendent was a little ball of lint that was stuck in a clothes dryer.
...if you can even call it that. It was more like a box that made a lot of noise and had a component that spun around.
...at least on the days that it decided to spin; usually it just sat there and made noises.
...if you could actually hear them; most people who came into contact with the machine went deaf.
...if you could actually come into contact with them; few people could make it through the building that the machine was in alive.
...if you could call it a building, though asbestos-lined cave is perhaps more appropriate.
...and that was where most of the population in town resided.
...if you could call that many people a "population"; most atlases called the area uninhabited.
...of course, you only knew that if you could read, since the written language of the area consisted primarily of closely-stacked vertical lines and spaces.
...and they weren't even lines, really, more like squiggly scrawl and you were lucky if you could make all of them out.
...if you even had your sight anymore, since most of the people in the cave had evolved against having any operational organs for seeing.
...and everyone was happy about that since everyone else was unbearably ugly.
...if you could call that being happy -- the walls of the cave were luminescent so sight would not have been wasted.
...because it was built of dung from the bats that came from the nearby melted-down nuclear power plant.
...and when you died of cancer people would dance on your graves.
...if you even got a grave, as I for one was thrown onto a pile of rocks to decay.
...Now, try telling that to today's youth, however, and they won't believe you.
(It's so easy to go overboard with this sketch. I can see why it's so popular.)
Damn butterflies, I swear, those have to be the creepiest animal in existence. I mean those fish with the lights on their heads are freaky but cool. Butterflies are JUST NOT COOL.
Yes, I know that wasn't what was meant in the comics by emacs.
Just be glad you didn't ask about the dirty hex editor